Pineapple Grenade - Tim Dorsey

     2012; 552 pages.  Book 15 (out of 26) in the Serge Storms series.  New Author? : No.  Genres : Florida Crime Noir; Dark Comedy; Stoner Humor; Beach Read.  Overall Rating : 9*/10.

 

    Serge Storms.  What a fine, upstanding citizen!  Right now, he’s concerned about carjackings and their effect on tourism in Florida, so he and his stoner buddy Coleman are patrolling the roads around Miami airport, looking for cars that are pulling over other cars with evil intent.  So patriotic!

 

    Serge Storms.  Also wants to become a spy, even though he has no training or experience.  He’s testing out an intriguing way to get hired as one, though.  Just hang out around the various Latin America consulates in Miami acting suspicious, until someone notices him and offers to hire him to do espionage for them.  Ingenious!

 

    Serge Storms.  A firm believer in vigilante justice, something he has lots of experience in.  Well okay.  Nobody said Serge was perfect.

 

What’s To Like...

   Pineapple Grenade is the fifteenth book in Tim Dorsey’s Serge Storms series.  For the most part, it is set in the greater Miami, Florida area, with a couple of scene shifts to the fictitious Latin American country of Costa Gorda (Spanish for “Fat Coast”) and one visit to the Everglades.

 

    Serge’s “I’m a spy; hire me!” plans work even better than he expects.  Various security agencies are on extra-vigilant alert, due to an imminent influx of foreign heads-of-state into Miami for an upcoming “Summit of the Americas”.  Serge’s suspicious loiterings are quickly noted, and countermeasures are duly taken, not all of which would be to Serge’s good fortune.  Mayhem and mystery ensue.

 

     There’s a nice bunch of characters to meet and greet, some recurring, others new.  Coleman’s excessive drug and alcohol consumption actually aids Serge (and the reader) to figure out what’s going on, although the correct interpretation of those clues is a challenge.  It was fun to make the acquaintance of newcomers Felicia Carmen and Ted Savage, and I was elated to see Johnny Vegas, aka “The Accidental Virgin”, back for a brief appearance.

 

    As always, Tim Dorsey weaves an abundance of fascinating Florida history, geography, and culture into the storyline, including something called the Metrozoo seemed a bit far-fetched, but which really exists.  Trivia about the erstwhile TV series Miami Vice also pops up, as well as insight into Florida pro wrestling techniques.  Diprivan, the drug that killed Michael Jackson, gets some ink, and I learned that TEC-9 is a machine-gun.  Jeez, I thought that last one was a rap group, which reminds me: it was a treat to be in the audience when Serge does a rap routine.

 

    The ending is excellent: exciting, twisty, and both logical and unforeseen by both Serge and myself.  Both good guys and baddies suffer losses, one of which left a lump in my throat.  And for those readers who keep track of such things (which includes me), Serge’s “Vigilante Execution Count” for Pineapple Grenade is five, all of which are performed in new and imaginative ways.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.5/5 based on 830 ratings and 203 reviews..

    Goodreads: 3.99/5 based on 2,531 ratings and 221 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    “Let us out here.”

    “But we’re still a few blocks from your stop,” said the driver.

    “I like to take in the neighborhood on approach.  Here’s another ten.”

    “It’s your funeral.”  The cab screeched off.

    Coleman looked around an arid landscape of sunken-eyed scavengers milling outside barricaded buildings.  He clung to the nearest arm: “Serge, that guy coming toward us on the sidewalk is swinging a giant machete.”

    “Are other people around?”

    “Yes, lots.”

    “Does it seem unusual to them?”

    “No.”

    “Then it shouldn’t to us.”  (pg. 274)

 

    They started across the street.  Three men approached them from the opposite curb.  White face make-up, black-and-white striped shirts, and red berets.  The trio tipped their caps in recognition as they passed Serge.

    “You know those guys?” asked Coleman.

    “Serge nodded.  “You heard of the Guardian Angels?”

    “Yeah, vigilante group that protects people.”

    “Those three guys are from Tampa.  They started their own group, the Guardian Mimes.”  (pg. 330)

 

 

Kindle Details…

    Pineapple Grenade currently sells for $13.99 at Amazon.  The rest of the books in the series range in price from $1.99 to $14.99.  Generally, the newer the book, the higher the price.

 

Escobar was short, soft, and plump, but made up for it by being stupid and pushy about it. (pg. 188)

    There’s not much to nitpick about in Pineapple Grenade.  I counted 16 instances of profanity in the first 10% of the book, five of which were f-bombs.   Later on, there was a get-together for the use of cocaine, and there are four rolls-in-the-hay, including one involving “dendrophilia”.  See below for another “-philia” mentioned by Serge.  This is not a cozy mystery.

 

    There were only a couple of typos, two of which made me chuckle.  One was naplam/napalm; the other was a hyphenation of the word “restroom”, which, presumably via the conversion program, was split up into “re-“ and “-stroom”.  Wow.

 

    The title reference occurs at 31%-Kindle.  It doesn’t have much significance in the storyline, but hey, it serves well as a catchy book title.

 

    Overall, I thought Pineapple Grenade was a great read.  The pacing was quick; the dialogue was witty; the thrills-&-spills were plentiful; Serge’s mini-lectures were informative; and the ending was the best I’ve read in months.  I highly recommend it when you’re in the mood for an exciting beach read.

 

    9 Stars.  One last thing.  At 59%-Kindle, Serge mentions something called “ursusagalmatophilia”.  I thought for sure this was a bit of Tim Dorsey's imaginative wit, but found out it's real.  Google it.  You will be amazed.

Dance of the Winnebagos - Ann Charles

   2011; 366 pages.  New Author? : Yes.  Book 1 (out of 6) in the “Jackrabbit Junction Humorous Mystery” series.  Genres : Romantic Mystery; Humorous Fiction; Beach Read.  Overall Rating : 6*/10.

 

    Claire Morgan is about to experience the longest month of her life.

 

    She’s agreed to stay with her grandfather, Harley “Gramps” Ford for the entire month of April.  In an RV park somewhere in Arizona, in some podunk town called Jackrabbit Junction, mostly filled with retirees.  Where gray-haired geezers get their biggest daily thrills by watching blue-haired geezerettes sashay up and down the street.

 

    33-year-old Claire would love to meet some handsome guy her age, as she’s currently unattached.  But none seem to live in Jackrabbit Junction, to no one's surprise.  Oh well, it’s only for a month and come May, she can return to North Dakota having done her familial duty.

 

    You don’t know it, Claire, but Jackrabbit Junction holds some deadly secrets, just waiting to be dug up.  And we know just the dog who will do the digging.

 

What’s To Like...

    Dance of the Winnebagos is the opening volume in Ann Charles’s 6-book “Jackrabbit Junction Humorous Mysteries” series.  The series’ title notwithstanding, I highly recommend you read this book when you’re in the mood for a Romantic Mystery tale.  More on that in a bit.

 

    The story is set in the copper-mining area of southern Arizona, with Tucson being the nearby big city.  That resonated with me, since I reside in Arizona, and once upon a time, the company I worked for supplied a number of chemical products to the copper mines.

 

    The Mystery angle starts right away.  Gramps’s beagle, Henry, digs up a bone while nosing around in an old mine, and Claire recognizes it as a human femur.  Questions arise immediately.  How old is it?  Where’s the rest of the skeleton?  Will this affect the value of the mine, which belongs to Ruby, a current Jackrabbit Junction resident, and who is contemplating selling it for some much-needed debt relief.

 

    That’s a very promising start, but it takes a back seat to the Romance angle.  Mac Garner, nephew to the mine’s owner and all-around hunk, shows up to help his aunt determine the maximum worth of her two mines.

 

    Claire and Mac meet, gets the hots for each other, and a series of misunderstandings and misadventures give rise to the Humorous angle.  If you like Hallmark Romance movies, you’ll love this plot thread; there’s even a precocious little girl that every Hallmark movie has.  Supplemental humor comes in the form of Chester and Manuel, two of Gramps’s Euchre-playing (and women-chasing) buddies.

 

    The ending is a three-phase affair.  The main mystery storyline (whose femur is it) is resolved in Chapter 24; and the Romance and Money plot threads are dealt with in the next, and final, chapter.  “Extras” in the back of the book include “About the Author”, and “Five Fun Southwestern Facts about Ann Charles”, both of which I found fascinating to read.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.3/5 based on 2,320 ratings and 717 reviews.

    Goodreads: 3.95/5 based on 3,357 ratings and 473 reviews

 

Excerpts...

    “Are you some kind of freak who plays with dead animals?”

    While most of Claire’s family considered her to be a few cherries short of a fruitcake, that didn’t mean she had to take any crap from this kid.  She glared at the girl.  “Who are you?”

    “I’m Ruby’s kid.”

    That explained the hair and freckles.  “You have a name?”

    “Jessica, but my friends and family call me Jess.”  She batted her eyelashes and offered Claire a want-to-be-my-friend-too smile.  (. . .)

    “Thanks for the lemonade, Jessica.”  (pg. 23)

 

    Gramps shot Claire a frown.  “What did you do now?”

    “What?  I didn’t do anything.”  Claire made a last-ditch attempt at playing the ‘I’m-innocent-I-swear’ routine.

    “Child, I wasn’t born yesterday.  When I walked up here, you two were circling each other like a pair of hungry hyenas hovering over a hunk of raw meat.”

     Claire sighed.  “Couldn’t you compare me to a prettier animal?  A cat would be nice.  Maybe even a swan.  Do swans fight?”  (pg. 191)

 

Kindle Details…

    Dance of the Winnebagos sells for $2.99 at Amazon.  The rest of the other books in the series are in the $3.99-$6.99 price range.  Ann Charles has two other e-book series: a 14-volume Deadwood Humorous Mystery (prices range from $2.99 to $7.99); and a 4-volume Deadwood Undertaker (prices range from $4.99 to $6.99).

 

If she ever saw Mac Garner again, she was going to cram her underwear down his throat until he choked on them.  (pg. 351)

    There’s a lot of cussing in Dance of the Winnebagos.  I counted 30 instances in the first 10%, which felt excessive.  Sexual innuendos abound, but to be fair, there was only one "on-screen” roll-in-the-hay, and you can guess who that involved.

 

    There were quite a few typos, including lightening/lightning, chords/cords, queue/cue, florescent/fluorescent, and pouring/poring.  Those last two occurred three times each.  Another round of editing would be beneficial.

 

    Plot twists are sparse and Claire’s sussing out of the various mystery questions was more a matter of convenient luck than skillful sleuthing.  Character development was blah: you know from the start who the good guys and baddies are, and that never changes.  The Romance and Mystery angles were both predictable.

 

    The writing style felt like it needed another round of polishing.  A plethora of literary devices were overused, including excessive similes, music references, cartoons on Claire’s t-shirts, Claire's craving of cigarettes, amorous thoughts, and the precocious little girl sassing about her mom’s poor parenting skills.

 

    So, does that mean this was a terrible book?  Not at all.  Despite the technical quibbling, Claire and Mac’s investigations into the mysteries and each other kept me turning the pages.  Dance of the Winnebagos may not be a deep taleread, but it is an ideal beach/airport read and I plan on reading at least one more entry in this series to see whether the writing and storytelling improve.   And to see what else Henry digs up.

 

    6 Stars.  One last thing.  At one point the word “snogging” finds its way into the text.  This is one of my favorite “Britishisms” of all times.  Kudos to Ann Charles for using in this story!

Double Trouble - Mike Faricy

   2015; 231 pages.  Book 10 (out of 30) in the “Dev Haskell – Private Investigator” series.  New Author? : No.  Genres: Airport/Beach Read; Hard-Boiled Mystery; Private Investigator Mystery.  Overall Rating: 7½*/10.

 

    Business has been slow at Haskell Investigations.  Its owner and sole employee, Private Investigator Dev Haskell, has now been forced to take a second job: moonlighting as a collections agent for a Coffin Manufacturing Company whose customers sometimes default payments on what is going to be their final resting place.

 

    It only takes Dev one day to realize he’s not really cut out to persuade senior citizens to square away those debts for their death boxes.  But he likes the company owner, so on his way out, he recommends an old acquaintance who has experience in debt-collecting: Tommy Flaherty.

 

    Tommy is a “reformed criminal”, which is a nice way of saying he’s an ex-con.  He also has two sisters, Candi and Lissa, both of which Dev has slept with in the past.  During the same time period.  Until he mistakenly called out the wrong sister’s name at the height of passion.  But that was a while back, and it’s all water under the bridge, right?

 

    Oh jeez, Dev.  You still don’t know a thing about how the female mind works, do you?

 

What’s To Like...

    Double Trouble is the tenth book in Mike Faricy’s “Dev Haskell Private Investigator” series, which I’ve been reading in order so far.  It’s action-packed and a quick read.  Amazon says it’s 279 pages long, but it actually ends on page 227, with a bonus preview of the first eight chapters in the next book in the series, Yellow Ribbon, tacked on.  The tale is told in the first-person POV (Dev’s) and 57 chapters cover those 227 pages, so you’re never far from a good place to stop for the night.

 

    As is the norm in these tales, what starts out as an easy job—see the first excerpt, below—rapidly becomes more complicated.  Various items begin to disappear, such as coffins, ATMs (the whole machine, not just the cash), and some of Dev’s junk food supplies and t-shirts.  The police think someone even stole the license plate from Dev’s vehicle, but hey, it’s still there.

 

    It may be my imagination, but Dev seems to slowly be getting his act together.  He seems to spend a bit less time womanizing here (thank goodness Heidi is still around), and it appears he’s sharpening his Private Eye skills as well.  Even his bar-hopping seems to be curtailed a bit.

 

    Things build to decent, fitting, ending with a clever perp-revealing plot twist that I didn’t see coming, and with the baddies all getting their just desserts.  The final chapter is an epilogue, and adds one last comedic twist to the ending, which is appropriate for a Dev Haskell tale.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.3/5 based on 312 ratings and 72 reviews.

    Goodreads: 4.14/5 based on 297 ratings and 20 reviews

 

Excerpts...

    “So, are you going to take the job?” Louie asked.

    “Sounds like I would be getting paid just to follow people around and see if anyone is into anything crazy.”

    “Sounds like a waste of time,” Louie said and sipped.

    “Probably, but now I’d be getting paid for wasting it.”

    “There you go, always looking at the bright side.”  (loc. 652)

 

    I called Leo, my locksmith, and told him I needed new front and backdoor locks.

    “Again?  Dev, didn’t we just replace those things about six months ago?”

    “Was it that long ago?”

    “You know, if you stopped handing out house keys to every woman who let you buy her a drink, you could maybe cut down on this.  I ought to put you on a monthly plan and just change the damn things every thirty days.”

    “You have a monthly plan?”

    “I was kidding, Dev.”  (loc. 1537)

 

Kindle Details…

    Double Trouble is currently priced at $4.99 at Amazon.  The rest of the books in the series are currently either $0.99 or $4.99.  Mike Faricy offers at least one e-book bundle of this series, and has several other series (Hotshot, Corridor Man, and Jack Dillon Dublin Tales) that have the same pricing structure.

 

“Want to come in for a glass of wine and stay for breakfast?”  (loc. 348)

    The profanity in Double Trouble is moderate; with 18 instances of a variety of "milder" cusswords in the first 20%.  There were zero f-bombs, which impressed me, although one showed up in the Yellow Ribbon preview.  Some “adult situations” were alluded to, but there was nothing lurid.  The tagline for this section is a good example.

 

    The typos are getting scarcer as this series progresses, but I still spotted about ten or so, including id/ID, discrete/discreet, Bout/’Bout, and skulls/sculls.  That last one made me chuckle.

 

    But enough of the quibbling.  Double Trouble is a fast-paced crime-mystery, chock full of humor and wit, over-the-top thrills-&-spills, and all-too-convenient timing of events.  Which means it’s an ideal book when you just want to be entertained and not have to cogitate too much.

 

    7½ Stars.  One last thing.  Late in the story, one of the characters is described as having an “egghead degree in chemistry”.  I happen to have a Bachelor’s of Science degree in Chemistry.  That description resonated with me.

Bulldog - Mike Faricy

   2015; 231 pages.  Book 9 (out of 30) in the “Dev Haskell – Private Investigator” series.  New Author? : No.  Genres: Airport/Beach Read; Hard-Boiled Mystery; Private Investigator Mystery.  Overall Rating: 8*/10.

 

    Dermot Gallagher and Dev Haskell have been close friends for a long time.  Even after Dermot married Casey, and even after Dev started his Private Eye business.

 

    So it’s no surprise that the news of Dermot’s passing hits Dev like a ton of bricks.  Especially the circumstances of Dermot’s death.  According to the police, someone rang the doorbell of Dermot and Casey’s house, Dermot answered it, and was immediately shot in the face.  To say Dev is devastated is an understatement.

 

    The St. Paul police department's investigation is underway, and they have a request for Dev: stay out of this case and let us do our job.  We recognize your PI sleuthing is well-intended, but it will only slow things down.

 

    Yeah, we all know Dev’s not going to comply with that.

 

What’s To Like...

    Bulldog is the ninth book in the Dev Haskell series.  So far, I’ve been reading the series in order, sometimes via economy-priced bundles, sometimes as discrete e-books.  If you don’t happen to own the whole set of tales in this series, don’t fret.  Each of them is a completely standalone story.

 

    The storyline follows the usual formula for a hard-boiled mystery novel: fast pacing, lots of action, and lots of witty dialogue.  But Mike Faricy seems to be subtly tweaking his usual format.  For starters, Dev has no client; he is tackling this case strictly for his personal reasons.  Second, to me the plotline seemed to be more focused on the mystery, with less attention paid to Dev’s amorous interests.  And thirdly, the tone felt a bit darker here.  Personally, I thought these tweaks all worked rather well.

 

    A fascinating new character is introduced: Fat Freddy Zimmerman.  Dev’s first impression of him is given in an excerpt below.  At first I thought he was just another stereotypical “big, dumb, thug”, but he turns out to be an important character in the tale and I certainly hope Mike Faricy promotes him to being a recurring role.

 

    Louie the Lawyer is back, so is Lieutenant Aaron LaZelle of the St. Paul Police Department.  I like both those characters.  The widowed Casey Gallagher is new, and it was neat to watch the way her character gradually develops.  Tubby Gustafson makes for a suitably evil-but-crafty crime boss.  And Bulldog is everything you could want in a mob enforcer.

 

    The ending is exciting and over-the-top, which is mandatory for a hard-boiled crime mystery.  Dev figures out why someone shot Dermot, justice is served, and good triumphs over bad, with a couple of surprising benefits thrown in for good measure.  All the crime-mystery plot threads are tied up.  None of Dev’s romantic efforts are resolved, which is just fine.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.1/5 based on 1,823 ratings and 257 reviews.

    Goodreads: 3.95/5 based on 772 ratings and 52 reviews

 

Excerpts...

    As I moved closer, the face came into focus, and I actually recognized the idiot.  The flattened nose, the Mohawk hairstyle, a half dozen piercings in each eyebrow, and the three rings in his bottom lip left little doubt.  Then, there was the gauging in his earlobes the size of a giant doughnut hole.  I didn’t so much know him as I knew of him.  Freddy Zimmerman, Fat Freddy, a wannabe criminal of dubious reputation.  I was pretty sure he was a general disappointment to folks on both sides of the law.  (loc. 282)

 

    “The license plates had been removed, to answer your next question, and no, a quick search of the immediate area did not turn them up.”

    “Did you search the river around there?  You know in the water, some idiot could have just tossed them in there.”

    “Right now, we’re dealing with a stolen car that was torched.  I’m not calling divers out to search the river bottom for a quarter of a mile in all directions to confirm what we already know.”

    “I was just thinking.”

    “Don’t, please don’t.  You are forbidden to think, which shouldn’t be too hard for you.  You are also forbidden to call me from here on in unless you have been murdered, in which case you wouldn’t be able to call anyway.”  (loc. 1731)

 

Kindle Details…

    Bulldog is priced at $4.99 at Amazon right now.  The rest of the books in the series are currently either $0.99 or $4.99.  Mike Faricy has several other series (Hotshot, Corridor Man, and Jack Dillon Dublin Tales) that have similar pricing structures.

 

As my eyes adjusted to the dim lighting, I noticed the place had the definite reek of cheap perfume and dumb guys.  (loc. 619)

    The profanity in Bulldog felt like the usual amount, in this case there were 28 instances in roughly the first third of the book, and a nice mixture of mild and not-so-mild expletives.

 

    The story ends on page 231, which is at 57% Kindle.  The rest of the e-book included two sneak-peeks at other Mike Faricy opuses: 8 chapters from Double Trouble (the next book in this series), and 36 chapters from Corridor Man (the eponymous first book in another of his series).

 

    There were only a few typos (such as whacko/wacko), but lots of grammar errors, most of which involved apostrophes.  The editing seems to be gradually getting better, and I’m tempted to read one of the recent books in the series next to see if that trend continues.  The series is now up to Book #33, and yes, I know, that doesn’t add up to the number listed in the header of this review.

 

    Overall, I found Bulldog to be a fun and quick read; filled with plenty of thrills, spills, and intrigue; and with lots of interesting characters gallivanting around and uttering witty remarks.  I doubt it will win a Pulitzer Prize but it did keep me coming back for more (mis)-adventures by the incomparable Dev Haskell.  Which is exactly what I wanted.

 

    8 Stars.  One last thing.  Chapter 43 is devoted to an incident that we’ll simply call “Mouse in the Kitchen”.  We’ll not reveal any details, but let’s just say it brought back “been there, done that” memories for me.  Thank you, Mr. Faricy, for that little aside.

To The Nines - Janet Evanovich

   2003; 372 pages.  Book 9 (out of 30) in the “Stephanie Plum” series.  New Author? : No.  Genre : Crime-Humor; Women Sleuths; Beach Read.  Overall Rating : 8½*/10.

 

    Stephanie Plum and Lula have a new assignment.  Track down a missing FTA (“Failure To Appear”) kid named Samuel Singh and bring him in.

 

    This is a top-priority case.  So says Stephanie’s cousin Vinnie, who’s her boss and owner of Vincent Plum’s Bail Bonds.  It turns out Vinnie wrote something called a “visa bond” for Samuel, and if the missing-and-presumed-runaway fugitive can’t be found, Vinnie will lose a lot of money and credibility. Unsurprisingly, he’s very insistent that Singh be found immediately, if not sooner.

 

    Mrs. Apusenja and her daughter Nonnie feel the same way.  Samuel rents a room from the mom, and is betrothed to enter into an arranged marriage with the daughter.  Nobody walks out on something Mrs. Apusenja has arranged.

 

    Nonnie of course also wants her future husband found.  But funnily enough, she seems more concerned about her pet dog, “Boo”.  It seems the pup went missing from their yard the same day Samuel disappeared.

 

    Maybe they ran off together.

 

What’s To Like...

    To The Nines follows the standard plot structure for a Stephanie Plum novel, and that’s a plus, not a minus.  The simple catch-&-cuff task quickly gets more complex.  Various parties-of-interest drop dead, cold cases get warmer, and suspects pop up all over the place.  Stephanie starts receiving flowers from an admirer who wants to kill her, not romance her.  And as if Stephanie doesn't have enough to think about, the Ranger-Morelli-Plum love triangle is alive and cooking.

 

    The story is told in the first-person POV (Stephanie’s), and for the most part is set in the Trenton, New Jersey area, plus a quick trip out to Las Vegas by Steph and Lula, the expenses of which can happily can be written off as a trip and picked up by Vinnie,

 

    To The Nines was published in 2003, when 9/11 was a recent occurrence and the airports were struggling with security protocol.  Watching Lula’s misadventures with airport security was hilarious, but also brought back personal memories of business trips during that time.  To boot, Samuel Singh worked in a QC lab; that was my career as well.  Other “signs of the times” included Stephanie using AOL as her e-mail carrier, and Magic The Gathering being all the rage.

 

    There’s action aplenty and it starts right away.  We join Lula and Stephanie as they attempt to capture an FTA named Punky Balog, who has a unique way of showing his disdain for their presence.  Janet Evanovich’s trademark wit and humor is present in abundance, as are Stephanie’s musings about her complicated feelings for Joe Morelli and Ranger.  The mention of the I-40 Interstate resonated with me; I’ve driven it a couple of times over the last couple of years.  And the implication that Scottsdale, Arizona was an awful place to live and work made me chuckle; it's considered an upscale snowbird haven by the rest of us Phoenicians.

 

    Things close with a deadly cat-and-mouse game orchestrated by the baddie.  All turns out well, but… well, we'll talk more about that in a bit.  To The Nines is 372 pages long, covered by 15 chapters, with all the plotlines tied up by the end.  It is both a standalone story and part of a 30-book series, and is still “active”, with the 31^st installment due out this coming November.

 

And for us OCD folks who love to keep track of things:

    Number of FTA’s apprehended: 4

    Number of bodyguards worn out: 2

    Number of cars wrecked by Stephanie : Zero!

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.6/5 based on 7,219 ratings and 842 reviews.

    Goodreads: 4.16/5 based on 120,841 ratings and 2,415 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    “Maybe I’d get more cases if I had more hair.  A lot of people don’t like bald men.  Not that I’m bald, but it’s starting to get thin.”  He smoothed his hand over his few remaining strands of hair.  “You probably didn’t notice that it was thin, but I can tell when the light hits it just right.

    “You should try that chemical stuff you pour on your head,” Grandma said.  “My friend Lois Grizen uses it and she grew some hair.  Only problem was she used it at night and it rubbed off on her pillow and got on her face and now she has to shave twice a day.”  (loc. 1429)

 

    “She’s coming with a dish of my mother’s manicotti.  Have you ever tasted my mother’s manicotti?”

    “You sold me out for manicotti!”

    Morelli grinned and kissed me on the forehead.  “You can have some, too.  And by the way, your hair is cute.”

    I narrowed my eyes at him.  I wasn’t feeling cute.  In fact, I’d decided I didn’t like cute.  Cute wasn’t a word anyone would use to describe Morelli or Ranger.  Cute implied a degree of helplessness.  Kittens were cute.  (loc. 4053)

 

Kindle Details…

    Right now, To The Nines will run you a mere $2.99 at Amazon.  The rest of the e-books in the series are priced from $2.99 to $9.99.  Janet Evanovich has several other series for your reading pleasure, mostly in the Romance genre, and in the $6.99-$13.99 price range.

 

“I think I might have gotten married to an Elvis impersonator.”  (loc. 2451)

    There’s quite a bit of profanity in To The Nines, but that’s the norm for this series.  There’s a nice selection of cusswords, including eight f-bombs; plus there are a couple of tastefully done rolls-in-the-hay, and one reference to an oral act.

 

    I only spotted one typo: smokey/smoky; and even that one is more a question of the preferred spelling (smoky), rather than being out-and-out wrong.  Kudos to whoever did the editing.

 

    My main gripe is with the ending: it felt contrived, too convenient, and rushed.  It’s difficult to give details without them being spoilers, but here goes.  Two characters get abducted without any details given of how and when.  One of them supplies key information that enables Stephanie to survive the game.  Stephanie’s aiming in total darkness is remarkably accurate, and the cavalry arrives in an unbelievably short time.

 

    Still, the ending was suitably exciting and it got the job done: Good once again wins out against Evil.  Overall, To The Nines was a solid entry in this series, despite the rushed ending.  I enjoyed the book and am eager to read the next one in the series, Ten Big Ones.

 

    8½ Stars.  One last thing.  Late in the story, there is mention of peanut butter and olive sandwiches.  Stephanie makes them for supper with Joe Morelli, and it is implied that both of them enjoy such a meal.  El Yucko to the Extremo!

Crickett - Mike Faricy

   2013; 307 pages.  Book 8 (out of 31) in the “Dev Haskell – Private Investigator” series.  New Author? : No.  Genres: Airport/Beach Read; Hard-Boiled Mystery; Private Investigator Mystery.  Overall Rating: 7½*/10.

 

    What are the odds of your old flame, Karen Riley, walking through the door at the bar where you just happen to be enjoying a cold one, or two?

 

    Well, if you’re Dev Haskell, and the bar is The Spot, the odds aren’t all that long, since it’s a place you’ve been known to hang out1 at for quite some time.

 

    Karen’s changed her name; she now goes by Crickett.  That’s not all that’s new – she’s pushing a stroller with a 10-month-old baby in it.  Oliver.  Jeez, Dev, you don’t suppose the kid is yours, do you?

 

    She says it isn’t.  She’s not here to push a paternity suit on you, Dev.  She’s here to ask you, as a Private Investigator, to help get her current boyfriend, Oliver’s pop, out of jail.  Something about trumped-up drug charges.  Transporting cocaine.  You might as well investigate it, Dev.  What’s the worst that can happen?

 

    You're about to find out, Dev.

 

What’s To Like...

    Crickett is the eighth book in Mike Faricy’s Dev Haskell – Private Investigator series, which, thus far, I’ve been reading in chronological order.  This particular episode was part of a seven-volume e-book bundle which, ANAICT, is no longer available.  There are 46 chapters covering 248 pages, which means you’ll always be able to find a good place to stop for the night.

 

    The storyline is formulaic.  A knockout beauty comes to see Dev, and asks him to investigate something or someone.  Dev agrees, things get complicated, people have trouble remembering Dev’s name properly, Dev finds himself in a hopeless situation, and just when all seems lost, a plot twist appears out of nowhere, and all ends well.  That may sound trite, but it makes for a great airport/beach read.

 

    The story takes place mostly in and around St. Paul, Minnesota, with an occasional excursion to a nearby town called Vaxholm.  The complications in Dev’s sleuthing may be formulaic, but it’s still fun to try to get to the bottom of things alongside Dev.  There’s a reference to a Walter White that I didn’t get, but suspect it has to do with the TV show Breaking Bad, which I’ve never watched.  There’s also a “tumble bubble” scene, which looks like something I’d enjoy.

 

    The ending is good.  Yes, it’s a bit contrived, but that just allows Mike Faricy to work some mind-boggling plot twists into the tale.  Dev figured things out a bit before I did, and good triumphs, Dev survives, and Oliver ends up in good hands.  The Dev/Crickett plotline is not fully resolved, but based on the title of Book 9, Bulldog, I think it might carry over to there.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.3/5 based on 294 ratings and 83 reviews.

    Goodreads: 4.00/5 based on 280 ratings and 30 reviews

 

Excerpts...

    “My advice, for what it’s worth, just stay away from her, and Tubby, and anyone else involved.  Don’t take this on.  Don’t do anything for a fee, pro bono, or the benefits,” he said, arching an eyebrow.

    “How dumb do I look?”

    “You mean with the black eyes and that swollen nose?  Right now, pretty damn dumb.”

    “Okay, I get it.  I’m just going to alert her to the fact that Tubby’s looking around for names and tell her to keep quiet.  That’s all.  What could go wrong?”

    “Don’t even go there,” Louie said.  (loc. 826)

 

    “I just haven’t seen you, thought it might be fun to get together.  Look if you’re busy or seeing someone, I’m cool with that.  We’re both adults.  Sorry I bothered. . .”

    “I didn’t say you couldn’t come over.  It’s just that, well admit it, if you were me, you’d be suspicious, too.”

    “No, I wouldn’t.  If I were you, I’d be wondering what sort of bottle of wine kind, wonderful Dev could bring me.”

    “Stop it, possibly two bottles might work better,” she said.  (loc. 1163)

 

Kindle Details…

    Crickett presently sells for $4.99 at Amazon, which is the standard price for most of the books in this series.  Right now, Mike Faricy has graciously temporarily discounted four of the e-books; one of them goes for $0.99, the other three are free.  The author has several other series (Hotshot, Corridor Man, and Jack Dillon Dublin Tales) in addition to the Dev Haskell misadventures; the normal price for their individual e-books is also $4.99 apiece.

 

He attempted to smile, but his face was so unused to the exercise, it came off as more of a sneer.  (loc. 2727)

    Crickett has the usual amount of cussing for a Dev Haskell tale.  I counted 18 instances in the first 20%, which includes a couple of f-bombs.

 

    Typos abound, which is also the norm for this series.  Errant quotation marks run willy-nilly; so do separated compound words.  We have the standard typos, such as site/sight and your/you’re, as well as some unusual but amusing ones such as hob-knobs/hobnobs and highjack/hijack.  The thinkingm/thinking gaffe surprised me.  How did that ever make it past Autocorrect?

 

    The main baddie’s identity seemed a bit forced, but that’s allowed in a beach/airport read.  Ditto for the aforementioned formulaic storytelling.  If you like the formula, it’s not a drawback.

 

    7½ Stars.  Overall, Crickett was about what I’ve come to expect from a Dev Haskell – Private  Investigator installment.  Nothing deep, but a fun read from beginning to end.  Mike Faricy is a wizard when it comes to telling a catchy tale and coming up with self-deprecating remarks by the protagonist.  I’m intrigued as to whether there’s a tie-in to the next book, Bulldog, so it probably won’t be too long before I tackle that one.

Double Whammy - Carl Hiaasen

   1987; 320 pages.  Book 1 (out of 7) in the “Skink” series.  Book 2 (out of 16) in Hiaasen’s (overall) Florida noir series.  New Author? : No.  Genres : Crime–Humor; Florida Crime-Noir; Beach Novel; Satire.  Overall Rating: 8*/10.

 

    Do you live in Florida and want to make some quick money?  Here are three easy ways.

 

    Hold a bass fishing tournament.  There are lots of avid fishermen throughout the Southeast that love to enter these, and you only have to pay off one winner.

 

    Build some condos around some lakes.  And by “lakes” we mean any body of water, manmade or natural, no matter how polluted, but one that’s large enough for fishing boats.  If you call it a lake, they will come.

 

    Hold a fundamentalist healing revival.  You’ll need a human who can fake being crippled for this, preferably someone young and cute.  After you perform the “miracle” the believers will shower you with dollars.

 

    Reverend Charles Weeb is both needy and greedy.  He plans to combine all three of those rackets and a lollapalooza of a fundraiser!

 

What’s To Like...

    Double Whammy is an early entry in what I call Carl Hiaasen’s “Florida Crime-Noir” series.  This is the eighth book I’ve read from that collection.   I have not been reading them in chronological order and I don’t think I’ve been missing much.  Amazon prefers to label it the first entry in the “Skink” series.  More on that in a bit.

 

    Our protagonist is the avid photographer and Private Eye, R.J. Decker, sometimes nicknamed “Rage” (a play upon his initials) by special friends, and “Miami” by one of his certifiably nutzo pals.  When Bobby Clinch, a local and not-very-successful bass tournament enthusiast is found dead in suspicious circumstances. Decker is hired to look into possible skullduggery.

 

    The action starts on the first page as Bobby Clinch sneaks out of the house early one morning.  The pacing is fast and the action is often over-the-top, which for this genre, is an asset.  I liked the character development done by the author; Decker, Ott, Fast Eddie Spurling, Skink, and Al Garcia were all interesting people to meet.  Those final two become recurring characters in this series, with Skink appearing in another six installments by Amazon’s count.  And let's give a quick nod to Lucas; his tenaciousness is impressive.

 

    Bass tournaments are the central focus of Double Whammy.  The title refers to a specific type of fishing lure used by the recognized tournament champion in the area, Dickie Lockhart.  To be honest, I’ve never had the slightest urge to participate in a fishing tournament, but while reading this book, I did get an appreciation for how much preparation is done for competing in one, and how much excitement is generated by fifty anglers, all on the same lake, all trying to out-fish everyone else.  And as an added bonus, I even learned how the cheat in bass tournaments.

 

    Double Whammy was first published in 1987, which means it has a lot of "outdated" items.  Decker drives a 1979 Volare, which he notes is  “stylistically the most forgettable auto” around.  That brought back old memories since I drove one of those in the 80s.  His camera uses film — imagine that! — and he has a darkroom in his home where he does his own film-development, a hobby I used to do with my dad in my teenage years.  Cassette tapes are how Decker listens to music, and there were only three Star Wars movies at that time, which you watched on videocassette.

 

    Events build to Reverend Weeb’s three-pronged money-making scheme described above.  The ending is exciting, albeit not particularly twisty, and both the good guys and the bad guys get their just desserts.  One loose end remains, and I doubt it is resolved in the next book: what will happen to Queenie?!

 

Excerpts...

    “Hey, Rage, where you at?”

    “In a motel outside New Orleans.”

    “Hmmm, sounds romantic.”

    “Very,” Decker said.  “My roommate is a 240-pound homicidal hermit.  For dinner he’s fixing me a dead fox he scraped off the highway near Ponchatoula, and after that we’re taking a leaky tin boat out on a windy lake to spy on some semi-retarded fishermen.  Don’t you wish you were here?”

    “I could fly in tomorrow, get a hotel in the Quarter.”

    “Don’t be a tease, Catherine.”  (pg. 119)

 

    “We’re here for the bass tournament.”

    “Is that right?”  Weeb eyed the rowboat disdainfully.  “Sorry, son, but this event’s not open to the general public.”

    Al Garcia said, “We’re not the general public, son.  We’re the Tile Brothers.”  Coolly he handed Charlie Weeb the receipt for the registration fee.  Weeb passed it to Deacon Johnson.

    “It’s them, all right,” Deacon Johnson reported.  “Boat number fifty, all paid up.”

    “You don’t look like brothers,” Reverend Weeb said accusingly.

    “Si, es verdad,” Jim Tile said.

    “Fo sho,” added Al Garcia.  “We true be bros.”  (pg. 268)

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.4*/5, based on 4,881 ratings and 588 reviews.

    Goodreads: 3.94*/5, based on 18,429 ratings and 1,120 reviews.

 

“Just one of those days … when you feel like the spit-valve on the trombone of life.”  (pg. 314)

    If you’ve never read any of Carl Hiaasen’s books. Be aware that they generally never skimp on cusswords.  I found 28 in the first 10% of this book, which is about normal.  Racial epithets also are used, and adult situations and nudity occur on a regular basis.

 

    There were only a couple of typos, mind/mine and Scaggs/Skaggs) which still surprised me since I was reading the mass-market paperback version, published by Warner Books.  But since Scaggs was as in “Ricky Scaggs”, I’m wondering if it was a deliberate error to avoid copyright issues.

 

    Also, if you’re of the Pentecostal persuasion, you probably won’t like this book.  And if you’re a dog-lover, you should probably skip it as well.

 

    I enjoyed Double Whammy.  There were no slow spots and there was enough spoofery, wit, and outrageous events (such as the culinary delights of eating roadkill) to keep me turning the pages.  This book would make a great airport or beach read.

 

    8 Stars.  I read Double Whammy during 2023 Banned Book Week (October 1-7), which turned out to be a timely effort since Wikipedia notes that in 2017 the Texas Department of Corrections put this on its list of books that inmates in its state prisons were not allowed to read.  Neither Carl Hiaasen nor I have any idea what the reasoning for this act was.  No policemen are killed in Double Whammy, and in fact, the actions of the two main cops here, Jim Tile and Al Garcia, are quite commendable.