Tuesday, June 11, 2024

To The Nines - Janet Evanovich

   2003; 372 pages.  Book 9 (out of 30) in the “Stephanie Plum” series.  New Author? : No.  Genre : Crime-Humor; Women Sleuths; Beach Read.  Overall Rating : */10.

 

    Stephanie Plum and Lula have a new assignment.  Track down a missing FTA (“Failure To Appear”) kid named Samuel Singh and bring him in.

 

    This is a top-priority case.  So says Stephanie’s cousin Vinnie, who’s her boss and owner of Vincent Plum’s Bail Bonds.  It turns out Vinnie wrote something called a “visa bond” for Samuel, and if the missing-and-presumed-runaway fugitive can’t be found, Vinnie will lose a lot of money and credibility. Unsurprisingly, he’s very insistent that Singh be found immediately, if not sooner.

 

    Mrs. Apusenja and her daughter Nonnie feel the same way.  Samuel rents a room from the mom, and is betrothed to enter into an arranged marriage with the daughter.  Nobody walks out on something Mrs. Apusenja has arranged.

 

    Nonnie of course also wants her future husband found.  But funnily enough, she seems more concerned about her pet dog, “Boo”.  It seems the pup went missing from their yard the same day Samuel disappeared.

 

    Maybe they ran off together.

 

What’s To Like...

    To The Nines follows the standard plot structure for a Stephanie Plum novel, and that’s a plus, not a minus.  The simple catch-&-cuff task quickly gets more complex.  Various parties-of-interest drop dead, cold cases get warmer, and suspects pop up all over the place.  Stephanie starts receiving flowers from an admirer who wants to kill her, not romance her.  And as if Stephanie doesn't have enough to think about, the Ranger-Morelli-Plum love triangle is alive and cooking.

 

    The story is told in the first-person POV (Stephanie’s), and for the most part is set in the Trenton, New Jersey area, plus a quick trip out to Las Vegas by Steph and Lula, the expenses of which can happily can be written off as a trip and picked up by Vinnie,

 

    To The Nines was published in 2003, when 9/11 was a recent occurrence and the airports were struggling with security protocol.  Watching Lula’s misadventures with airport security was hilarious, but also brought back personal memories of business trips during that time.  To boot, Samuel Singh worked in a QC lab; that was my career as well.  Other “signs of the times” included Stephanie using AOL as her e-mail carrier, and Magic The Gathering being all the rage.

 

    There’s action aplenty and it starts right away.  We join Lula and Stephanie as they attempt to capture an FTA named Punky Balog, who has a unique way of showing his disdain for their presence.  Janet Evanovich’s trademark wit and humor is present in abundance, as are Stephanie’s musings about her complicated feelings for Joe Morelli and Ranger.  The mention of the I-40 Interstate resonated with me; I’ve driven it a couple of times over the last couple of years.  And the implication that Scottsdale, Arizona was an awful place to live and work made me chuckle; it's considered an upscale snowbird haven by the rest of us Phoenicians.

 

    Things close with a deadly cat-and-mouse game orchestrated by the baddie.  All turns out well, but… well, we'll talk more about that in a bit.  To The Nines is 372 pages long, covered by 15 chapters, with all the plotlines tied up by the end.  It is both a standalone story and part of a 30-book series, and is still “active”, with the 31st installment due out this coming November.

 

And for us OCD folks who love to keep track of things:

    Number of FTA’s apprehended: 4

    Number of bodyguards worn out: 2

    Number of cars wrecked by Stephanie : Zero!

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.6/5 based on 7,219 ratings and 842 reviews.

    Goodreads: 4.16/5 based on 120,841 ratings and 2,415 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    “Maybe I’d get more cases if I had more hair.  A lot of people don’t like bald men.  Not that I’m bald, but it’s starting to get thin.”  He smoothed his hand over his few remaining strands of hair.  “You probably didn’t notice that it was thin, but I can tell when the light hits it just right.

    “You should try that chemical stuff you pour on your head,” Grandma said.  “My friend Lois Grizen uses it and she grew some hair.  Only problem was she used it at night and it rubbed off on her pillow and got on her face and now she has to shave twice a day.”  (loc. 1429)

 

    “She’s coming with a dish of my mother’s manicotti.  Have you ever tasted my mother’s manicotti?”

    “You sold me out for manicotti!”

    Morelli grinned and kissed me on the forehead.  “You can have some, too.  And by the way, your hair is cute.”

    I narrowed my eyes at him.  I wasn’t feeling cute.  In fact, I’d decided I didn’t like cute.  Cute wasn’t a word anyone would use to describe Morelli or Ranger.  Cute implied a degree of helplessness.  Kittens were cute.  (loc. 4053)

 

Kindle Details…

    Right now, To The Nines will run you a mere $2.99 at Amazon.  The rest of the e-books in the series are priced from $2.99 to $9.99.  Janet Evanovich has several other series for your reading pleasure, mostly in the Romance genre, and in the $6.99-$13.99 price range.

 

“I think I might have gotten married to an Elvis impersonator.”  (loc. 2451)

    There’s quite a bit of profanity in To The Nines, but that’s the norm for this series.  There’s a nice selection of cusswords, including eight f-bombs; plus there are a couple of tastefully done rolls-in-the-hay, and one reference to an oral act.

 

    I only spotted one typo: smokey/smoky; and even that one is more a question of the preferred spelling (smoky), rather than being out-and-out wrong.  Kudos to whoever did the editing.

 

    My main gripe is with the ending: it felt contrived, too convenient, and rushed.  It’s difficult to give details without them being spoilers, but here goes.  Two characters get abducted without any details given of how and when.  One of them supplies key information that enables Stephanie to survive the game.  Stephanie’s aiming in total darkness is remarkably accurate, and the cavalry arrives in an unbelievably short time.

 

    Still, the ending was suitably exciting and it got the job done: Good once again wins out against Evil.  Overall, To The Nines was a solid entry in this series, despite the rushed ending.  I enjoyed the book and am eager to read the next one in the series, Ten Big Ones.

 

    8½ Stars.  One last thing.  Late in the story, there is mention of peanut butter and olive sandwiches.  Stephanie makes them for supper with Joe Morelli, and it is implied that both of them enjoy such a meal.  El Yucko to the Extremo!

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