Revelation Space - Alastair Reynolds

2000; 585 pages.  New Author? : Yes.  Genre : Sci-Fi.  Laurels : nominated for the Arthur C. Clarke Award (2000); and the BSFA (2001).  Rating : 7½*/10.

    On a faraway planet, archaeologist Dan Sylveste is excavating ancient (900,000 years old) ruins that he thinks indicate that a civilization on the brink of achieving space travel was wiped out in a cataclysmic event.

    Spaceship pilot Ilia Volyova has other plans.  She intends to kidnap Sylveste and force him to work on healing her starship captain.  Ana Khouri has a straightforward aim.  She wants to assassinate Sylveste.  To save the universe.

What's To Like...
   Set in the 2500's, Revelation Space is a good example of "hard" (technologically plausible) sci-fi.  Among other things, Reynolds' universe abides by the "you can't go faster than the speed of light" principle.  This is the first book of a series of either 3 or 5 books, depending how you view it, but it is also a stand-alone novel.

    The three main characters are well-developed, and we have lots of time to get to know them as they start off light-years apart from each other.  Ana and Ilia hook up pretty quickly, but we're halfway through the book before they reach Sylveste's planet.  None of the three is completely likeable, and I like that.  But we warm to all of them as the events unfold.

    There are some quibbles.  Revelation Space is a slow and difficult read, mostly because of Reynolds' technological asides.  Being a scientist, I didn't mind.  But non-techies might.  The non-linear chapter dates can be confusing at first, and there are a number of loose ends left untied at the end of the book.  I presume these are addressed in the sequels.  Finally, if you're a secondary character, your odds for survival are slim, and your demise will probably be arbitrary.

Kewlest New Word...
Svinoi : a pig-breeder; or just a pig itself.  (Russian, pejorative)

Excerpts...
    "State your identity," the woman said.
    Volyova introduced herself.
    "You last visited this system in ... let me see." The face looked down for a minute.  "Eighty-five years ago; '461.  Am I correct?"
    Against her best instincts, Volyova leaned nearer the screen.  "Of course you're correct.  You're a gamma-level simulation.  Now dispense with the theatrics and just get on with it.  I've wares to trade and every second you detain me is a second more we have to pay to park our ship around your useless dogturd of a planet."
    "Truculence noted," the woman said, seeming to jot a remark in a notebook just out of sight.  (pgs. 84-85)

    "A splendidly inept thing," Sylveste said, nodding despite himself.
    "What?"
    "The human capacity for grief.  It just isn't capable of providing an adequate emotional response once the dead exceed a few dozen in number.  And it doesn't just level off - it just gives up, resets itself to zero.  Admit it.  None of us feel a damn about these people."  (pg. 323)

The trouble with the dead ... was that they had no real idea when to shut up.  (pg. 17)
    Revelation Space reminds me both of Arthur Clarke's "2001 - A Space Odyssey" and Peter F. Hamilton's "Night's Dawn" trilogy.  It is a bit less "sweepingly epic" than the latter, but then again, there are four more books (and a number of short stories) to go.

    I personally liked the "hard science" parts - discussions of the history of the universe, and of Fermi's paradox (if interstellar flight is theoretically plausible, why haven't we been visited yet?).  But the storyline at times seems disjointed and could have been more compelling.  And there a couple jaw-dropping cases of deus ex machina.

    Still, this is really quite good for a "first effort" (there are nine Alastair Reynolds novels now, with a tenth due out in 2012), and makes for a fascinating introduction to a new and complex universe.  7½ Stars.

The Bull from the Sea - Mary Renault

1962; 336 pages.  New Author? : No.  Genre : Mythological Fiction.  Rating : 7*/10.

    Theseus returns to Greece a hero.  He has triumphed over the   Minotaur in Crete.  Troubadours will sing of his praises; painters will put his likeness on walls; and trinket-makers will sell little gold Theseuses on bracelets.

    Now is the time to unite Greece and govern a kingdom.  To marry for political expediency, dispense justice, and engage in the subtle arts of diplomacy and tact.  Which is all well and good for an ambitious politician.  But not for someone with adventure in his veins.

What's To Like...
    The Bull from the Sea is the sequel to The King Must Die, where Theseus famously braved the Labyrinth and fought the Minotaur.  TBFTS basically recounts the rest of Theseus' life.  It is nevertheless a stand-alone book, provided you like (and are well-versed in) Greek mythology.

    The story is presented as historical fiction, which is a clever treatment.  We know Greek mythology has all sorts of fabulous creatures such as centaurs, fauns, and satyrs.  We know they never existed.  So how and why did they work their way into in Greek lore as if they were real?  Mary Renault gives a plausible explanation here.  She takes the Theseus legend and "de-godifies" it into a series a natural events.  Yet you can see how it could easily be stretched into a larger-than-life tale.

    Theseus is a flawed hero, and that's a plus.  The women are all strong characters.  Greece dominates the eastern Mediterranean world.  And then there are the uber-kewl Amazons.  You don't want to mess with them.

Kewlest New Word...
Skewbald : having spots or patches of white on a coat of color other than black.

Excerpts...
    "The House of Minos stood for a thousand years, because Crete had one law."
    "Yet it has fallen."
    "For want of law enough.  It stopped with the serfs and the slaves.  Men are dangerous who have nothing left to lose."  (pg. 40-41)

    Tall trees grew on her grave-mound.  The pups of our hounds' last mating had grown gray-nosed and died.  Her young Guard had sons who were learning arms.  As for me, she would hardly have known the face that mirrors showed me now, gray-bearded, darkened with salt and sun.  She had seemed to die again in all these passings.  But just now, in the chariot, I had seen the hair pale as electrum, the springing stance, the joy in swift horses, and for a moment she had lived again.  (pg. 235-236)

"Death does not master us, while the bard sings and the child remembers."   (pg. 18)
    Mary Renault does a marvelous job of bringing Ancient Greece and its legends alive and making it believable.  Yet I think The Bull from the Sea is probably for mythology-lovers only.  If you didn't like to read Edith Hamilton tales as a kid, you may find this book to be a bit of a slow-go. 

    There is some romance and some intrigue, but not a lot.  The action parts are also a bit sparse, which is more critical since this is an adventure story.  And the author misses a couple opportunities (most notably the reconquest of Crete) to spill a little blood and swash a little buckle.  OTOH, if family tragi-drama is to your taste, you may enjoy the book from start to finish.

    The ending has a nice twist; and like a Shakespearean tragedy, we end up empathizing with Theseus despite his shortcomings and ill-luck.  Mary Renault has less to work with here than in her Alexander the Great novels; but she still creates a well-written tale.  7 Stars.

Making Money - Terry Pratchett

2007; 394 pages.  Genre : Comedic Fantasy.  New Author? : No.  Book #36 in the Discworld series.  Laurels : Locus Award (winner) and Nebula Award (nominee) in 2008.  Rating : 8½*/10.

    "Tell me, Mr. Lipwig, would you like to make some real money?"  Moist von Lipwig has already done wonders for Ankh-Morpork's postal system (see the review here).  Now Lord Vetinari would like him to do the same to the city's Banking/Minting institution.  And when Vetinari makes you an offer such as this, you are well-advised to accept.

What's To Like...
    After some dithering, Moist accepts the challenge (you knew he would) and you (and Moist) are introduced to a whole slew of new characters with secrets, eccentricities, and nefarious intents.  The old crew (DEATH, Sam Vimes, the Night Watch, etc.) are here as well, although for the most part, they are relegated to cameo roles.

    Moist rapidly gets entangled in monetary matters.  Meanwhile, his GF, Adora Belle Dearheart, is leagues away investigating golem artefacts.  As usual, Terry Pratchett moves both storylines (and their various complexities) deftly along; tying them neatly  together at the end.

   Making Money starts a tad slow - the tour of the bank drags on as we wait for something to happen.  But that's just a device to get you acquainted with all the new faces, and once that's done, things pick up nicely.

Kewlest New Word...
Plangent : beating with a loud, deep, and often mournful sound.

Excerpts...
    "A banker?  Me?"
    "Yes, Mr. Lipwig."
    "But I don't know anything about running a bank!"
    "Good.  No preconceived ideas."
    "I've robbed banks!"
    "Capital!  Just reverse your thinking," said Lord Vetinari, beaming.  "The money should be on the inside."  (pg. 23)

    Whenever possible, Lavishes married distant cousins, but it wasn't uncommon for a few, every generation, to marry outside, in order to avoid the whole "three thumbs" situation.  The women found handsome husbands who did what they were told, while the men found wives who, amazingly, were remarkably good at picking up the petulance and shaved-monkey touchiness that was the mark of a true Lavish.  (pgs. 126-127)

Quia ego sic dico.  ("because I say so")  (pg. 378)
    Making Money is typical of Terry Pratchett's recent Discworld offerings.  There's not as much slapstick humor and mangled metaphors as in the early books, but the writing is more skillful, and you are still treated to an ample amount of chortles.

    Stylistically, it is very similar to the first Moist von Lipwig book - Going Postal.  So if you liked that one, you'll enjoy this one equally well.  8½ Stars.

The Waste Lands - Stephen King

1991; 588 pages.  New Author? : No.  Book #3 in The Dark Tower series.  Genre : Fantasy Quest; Horror.  Overall Rating : 8½*/10.

    With Eddie and Susannah having been extracted and enlisted for Roland's search for the Dark Tower in Book 2 (The Drawing of the Three), the quest now begins in earnest.

    The direction is easy - there is a subtle but persistent "beam" showing a straight path heading southeast; but the distance to be traveled is mind-staggeringly huge.   And the journey of a thousand miles begins with a kill-or-be-killed encounter with a cyborg bear.  So it's time to get moving.

What's To Like...
    The first half of the book deals with adding two more questors - one familiar, one new.  There are thrills and mysteries; riddles and choo-choos, and of course, some patented Stephen King horror episodes.

    Once the band has been assembled, it's on to a geezer village to rest and stock up.  Cuz next stop is the city of Lud, and that's where the action really heats up.

    There are strong characters-with-disabilities throughout this series, reminiscent of Robert Heinlein stories.  And the billy-bumblers are delightful.  It is somewhat strange to combine an epic fantasy quest with horror, but King handles it adeptly.

Kewlest New Word...
Scrofulous : morally degenerate; corrupt.

Excerpts...
    This is the way he was when he still had wars to fight and men to lead and his old friends around him, she thought.  How he was before the world moved on and he moved on with it, chasing that man Walter.  This is how he was before the Big Empty turned him inward on himself and made him strange.  (pg. 319)

    "They must have been the Supreme Court, or something," Eddie said, uneasily scanning all those thin lips and cracked, empty eyes.  "Only judges can look so smart and so completely pissed off at the same time - you're talking to a guy who knows.  There isn't one of them who looks like he'd give a crippled crab a crutch."  (pg. 483)

"This time-travel business is some confusing shit, isn't it?"  (pg. 93)
    To be honest, there are a couple slow spots in the first half of The Waste Lands but there are enough action sequences to keep your interest.  Some of the episodes, such as the geezer village and "the house", seem disconnected from the main storyline.  Maybe they get tied in at a later point; maybe not.  But this is a minor quibble; even Tolkien had his Tom Bombadil.

    The second half of the book is excellent.  The excitement is nonstop, and the attention stays focused on the quest.  My only beef is the tawdry use of a cliffhanger ending.  -½ Star for that.  I will read the next book, Mr. King, but that's due to the overall merits of this one; not because of some hung cliff.

    The Waste Lands is the best so far in this Dark Tower heptad.  We shall see if Book 4 (Wizard & Glass)  maintains the pace.  8½ stars.

The Pyramid - Henning Mankell

1999 (Swedish) & 2008 (English); 392 pages.  Full Title : The Pyramid - The First Wallander Cases.  New Author? : No.  Genre : Murder-Mystery.  Rating : 6*/10.

    Readers of Henning Mankell's Kurt Wallander series know the hero as a Swedish detective who's world-wise, world-weary, divorced, disillusioned, and has relationship issues with just about everyone around him.

    When Mankell penned the first book in the series, Wallander was already in his 40's.  So how did his life and psyche get this way?  The Pyramid starts to answer this, in the form of 5 stories featuring Wallander solving cases in his 20's and 30's.

What's To Like...
    The 5 stories are stand-alones, and they vary in length from 26 to 153 pages.  They're typical Henning Mankell murder/mysteries - there is scant evidence to begin with, and Wallander and his detective team need patience and perseverence to sort out the solid tips from the red herrings and solve the cases.

    You're treated to Mankell's customary critique of various Swedish social issues (mostly concerning immigrants and crime rates).  Indeed, the second tale is more commentary than story.

    As promised, you gain added insight into Wallander's plethora of personal issues, although none are completely explained.  For instance, we see Mona as his girlfriend, his wife, then they're separated, then they're divorced.  But we don't see the wedding, or the day Mona walks out the door.

Kewlest New Word...
Rusk : a sweet or plain bread baked, sliced, and baked again until it is dry and crisp.

Excerpts...
    "I really have only one question," Hemberg began.  "What do you think it is?"
    "You're of course wondering what I'm doing here."
    "I would probably put it more forcefully," Hemberg said.  "How the hell did you end up here?"
    "It's a long story," Wallander said.
    ""Make it short," Hemberg replied.  "But leave nothing out."  (pg. 65)

    "Have we ever had anything like this?"
    Rydberg considered this.  "Not that I can remember.  There was a lunatic who planted an axe in a waiter's head about twenty years ago.  The motive was an unpaid debt of thirty kronor.  But I can't think of anything else."
    Walander lingered at the table.
    "Execution-style," he said.  "Not particularly Swedish."
    "And what is Swedish, exactly?" Rydberg asked.  (pg. 281)

"Police work often consists of doing what one knows from the start to be meaningless.  But ... (n)o stone can be left unturned."  (pg. 361)
    If you like to delve into the inner workings of a main character's mind, you'll enjoy The Pyramid.  But personally, I read murder-mysteries first and foremost for the storyline; the rest is peripheral.  And in this regard The Pyramid comes up just a bit short.  The endings especially seem to fall flat.

   For example (and this is not a spoiler), the first story hums along quite nicely : Kurt Wallander figures out the crime, and closes in on the perp.  So far, so good.  But he gets stabbed, loses consciousness, and when he comes to in the hospital, the exciting climax is already done and related to him anecdotally.  Major ho-hum.

    It almost seems as if Henning Mankell is tired of Kurt Wallander.  This is the ninth KW book he wrote, and he planned it to be the last.  He wants to answer some outstanding questions about his star detective, and he does it while unfolding some interesting mysteries.  But once he's revealed the tidbits about Wallander and vented a bit about something wrong in Sweden, he doesn't seem to want to give the mysteries the time-consuming attention needed to fully develop them and bring them to a satisfying conclusion.

    The Pyramid is still a decent read; just not up to the high standard of the earlier, full-length Wallander novels.  6 Stars.

In The Garden of Beasts - Erik Larson

2011; 365 pages.  Full Title : In the Garden of Beasts : Love, Terror, and an American Family in Hitler's Berlin.  New Author? : No.  Genre :  Historical Non-Fiction.  Overall Rating : 7½*/10.

    It's 1933.  William Dodd is a 60-something history professor who's not finding enough time to work on his magnum opus - a comprehensive history of the Old South.  He wants a different job, but where in the world would a man at his age find a cushy, well-paying job which will also allow him to work extensively on his pet side-project?

    Meanwhile, newly-elected Franklin Roosevelt needs someone to be ambassador to Germany.  But all the Foreign Office professionals are turning him down because no one wants to deal with Hitler and his psycho nut-jobs.  Where in the world will FDR find someone ambitous or naive enough to fill the post?

What's To Like...
    Dodd of course gets the job, and packs up his family (wife Mattie, and grown children Martha and Bill Jr.) and moves to Berlin.  It is a Beverly Hillbillies moment.  Dodd is a serious tightwad, and there will be no long, black Mercedes limo for him.  The family Chevrolet is good enough.  Quelle gauche!

    We follow Dodd, as his eyes slowly open to what is happening in Germany; as he struggles with powerful State Department back-biting; and as he comes to realize how demanding an ambassadorship is.  His book will not get finished.  Mattie and Bill Jr. soon fade from the spotlight, but major pages are devoted to Martha, who embraces the European social scene and goes to bed with just about every young stud she meets.

    As with all Erik Larson books, there is a second storyline.  Here it follows the Nazi terror tactics as Hitler tries to consolidate his power and expel the Jews.  This isn't easy, since his toadies (Himmler, Goring, Rohm, etc.) all loathe each other, and the German Army is loyal to the President (the aging Hindenburg), not to Adolph.

Kewlest New Word...
Propinquity  :  the state of being close to someone (either physically or in spirit); proximity.

Excerpts...
    Papen was a protégé of President Hindenburg, who affectionately called him Franzchen, or Little Franz.  With Hindenburg in his camp, Papen and fellow intriguers had imagined they could control Hitler.  "I have Hindenburg's confidence," Papen once crowed.  "Within two months we wil have pushed Hitler so far into a corner that he'll squeak."  It was possibly the greatest miscalculation of the twentieth century.  As historian John Wheeler-Bennett put it, "Not until they had riveted the fetters upon their own wrists did they realize who indeed was captive and who captor."  (pg. 186)

    "At a time when nearly every German is afraid to speak a word to any but the closest friends, horses and dogs are so happy that one feels they wish to talk," (Dodd) wrote.  "A woman who may report on a neighbor for disloyalty and jeopardize his life, even cause his death, takes her big kindly-looking dog in the Tiergarten for a walk.  She talks to him and coddles him as she sits on a bench and he attends to the requirements of nature."  (pg. 336)

"Liebst du noch?"  (Are you still among the living?)  pg. 321
    In The Garden of Beasts is well-researched, to the tune of 60 pages of notes at the end.  Larson does this in all his books.  No one ever reads the notes.  So personally, I don't see why they couldn't be posted online somewhere, and save a few trees.

    Also, the subject matter isn't as exciting as in his other books.  William Dodd is objectively a dull person, and Martha's amorous antics get old quickly.  There are a couple instances of Nazi brutality sprinkled throughout, but they are mostly anecdotal.  At page 300 (out of 365), I was still waiting for some major excitement.

   It finally shows up, in the form of something called "The Night of the Long Knives", and the next 50 pages are riveting.  Still one would've preferred ay bit more Nazi thuggery and a bit less Dodd diplomacy.

    Larson does a masterful job with what he has.  The character studies of all the players are deep and detailed; and the gradual terrorization of the German populace will send shivers up your spine.  It's just that he has better stuff to work with in his other books.  It's kinda like giving Michelangelo a wad of Play-Doh and saying, "show me what you can do, big guy".  You know it'll be better than what you or I could make, but it just won't match what he can do with a slab of marble.  7½ Stars, only because Larson's past masterpieces shine brighter than this does.

First Cycle - H. Beam Piper and Michael Kurland

1982 (and 1964); 201 pages.  Genre : 50's Science Fiction.  New Author : Yes, and No.  Overall Rating : 7*/10.

    Hetaira and Thalassa are twin planets in a foreign - yet strangely familiar - solar system.  First Cycle is their history, from Day 1 (literally) until the present.  And the present is just a cosmic eyeblink since they discovered sentient life on each other.

What's To Like...
    Hetaira and Thalassa may be twins, but they're not identical twins.  One of them (Thalassa) got the lion's share of the available water when they formed, and this influenced both planets' evolutionary patterns.

    There are other differences as well.  One uses gods and magic to guide them; the other relies on reasoning.  One has a centralized government; the other is just a bunch of decentralized clans.  And the beings on one have five fingers (just like us); while the natives on the other planet have six (a kewl extra opposable thumb).

    What is impressive is the even treatment of these differences.  As communication between the races improves, mutual incomprehension increases.  In the end, their actions - whether imparted by deities or derived from logic - are remarkably similar.

    Despite being only 200 pages long, this is an epic tale.  We start with the planets' formation, and their long paths of evolution are recounted.  Interesting, but it comes at a cost of a slow start and most characters appearing only briefly before blinking out.

Kewlest New Word...
    There were none that floated my boat.

Excerpts...
    They had no gods, and the very concept of a supreme being was incomprehensible to them.  They asked questions, and they accepted nothing on faith.  They asked:  What is it?  What holds it up?  How far away is it?  What is it really like?  They of Hetaira had escaped the two blind alleys of religion and magic; they had already learned that things of nature had natural causes, and that if one were smart enough to ask the proper questions, nature would not withhold its secrets.  (pg. 29)

    "But their attitude, and their behavior; I don't know how long I can stand it.  They have no sense of shame or morality.  They degrade women by letting them do men's work."
    "They do seem to have complete equality of the sexes," Skrov-Rogov said.
    "Disgusting!" the priest said."And have you seen how they behave toward each other?  Running around naked; both sexes bathing together.  And they certainly like to bathe - they're the cleanest beasts I ever saw."  (pg. 170)

"They riot for bread - and they begin by destroying the bakeries!"  (pg. 111)
    There are joint authors.  First Cycle was published in 1982.  H. Beam Piper is listed as the author, but he died in 1964.  Michael Kurland "expanded and editied" it from an outline found in Piper's papers after the latter's death.  It is a nice balance between Science and Fiction.  It is also very ambitious and complex, so if you view it as 50's Sci-Fi, it is decades ahead of its time.

    First Cycle has a more serious than Piper's "Little Fuzzy" series.  It has a lot to say about religion, government, science, philosophy, etc.  It even takes a prehumous (as opposed to "posthumous") poke at the efforts of the SETI folks.

    Life evolves, and so does Literature.  There are science fiction books today that are more "epic" than this, but none do it in only 200 pages.  First Cycle is one of the few books that can be called a "Short-Winded Saga".  7 Stars.

Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Sausages - Tom Holt

2011; 378 pages.  New Author? : No.  Genre : Fiction; Humour.  Rating : 9*/10.

    There's a dimension-hopping pig.  There's a real-estate agent whose coffee cup keeps empyting itself.  There's a here-today-gone-tomorrow (literally!) dry cleaning shop.  There's a flock of chickens who think they're a bunch of lawyers who all have brothers who are musicians.  And there's two knights that have been dueling for centuries.

    And then, things begin to get really strange...

What's To Like...
    This is Tom Holt's latest offering (#45 or thereabouts), and the second one by him that I've read. There's chrono-hopping, dimension-travel, intrigue, mystery, and major weirdness.  And of course, there is LOL humor.

    The characters are heartwarming, even if they're "one-and-dones".   The book trots along briskly, and the plotline is complex.  Things teeter on getting out of control, but they never quite do.  No matter - the fun is in reading along and trying, along with all the characters, to figure out what the heck is going on.

    There's a Tim Henman plug on page 127 (Wiki him).  And last but not least, the greatest, most perplexing Question of the Universe is answered : "Which came first; the chicken or the egg".

Kewlest New Word...
Mither : To fuss over or moan about something over which you have no control.

Excerpts...
    He couldn't in all conscience critcise Gogerty on that score.  The job he'd been set was, after all, monstrously difficult, quite likely impossible: looking for a phase-shifting needle in a poly-dimensional haystack, blindfold and wearing wicketkeeper's gloves.  The more he thought about it, in fact, the more depressing it became.  (pg. 218)

    There's also a rule that says that women are allowed to be afraid of animals; they can make as much fuss as they like, and you're not allowed to tell them to pull themselves together or get a grip.  It's one of those complicated rules, like men having to carry the suitcase at airports but opening doors is male chauvinism.  "All right, then," he conceded.  "You know what," he added, "I think I may have seen him before somewhere."
    "Don't be silly," Eileen replied.  They're allowed to say things like that too.  (pg. 309)

In the presence of magic, logic is a chocolate frying pan and a Zimbabwean government stock.  (pg. 85)
  The quibbles are minor.  The ending has a bit too much "telling, not showing", and one or two of the loose ends (such as the two knights) are left untied up.

    But who cares?  The main point of reading a Tom Holt book is to accompany the cast of characters as they try to cope with rampaging zaniness.  The ending is charming; the writing is skillful; and every page is a-chock with chuckles.

     Comparisons to Robert Rankin, Jasper Fforde, and Terry Pratchett can be justly made; but the closest similarity is with the absurdism of Douglas Adams.  If you enjoyed HHGTTG, you'll like Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Sausages.  9 Stars.

Pavane - Keith Roberts

1966; 277 pages.  New Author? : Yes.  Genre : Alt-History; Fiction.  Overall Rating : 7½*/10.

    In an alternate timeline, Queen Elizabeth 1 is assassinated, the Spanish armada conquers England, there is no Protestant Reformation, and the Vatican is the unquestioned ruler of all of Western civilization for centuries thereafter.

    Until the present.  Now, in 20th-century England, the seeds of revolt begin to take root.

What's To Like...
    Pavane was written in the 60's when Alt-History was mostly simplistic pap.  So it is a quantum leap forward for the genre.  Keith Roberts creates a dark, somber England, where only a privileged few are wealthy and everyone else is happy just to be able to put food on the table.  The Church has outlawed electricity and gas-powered engines, so Pavane is a also kewl forerunner of the Steampunk genre.

    The book consists of six short stories (musical "measures" in a pavane), which cover several generations of a family as they gradually begin to question and then resist the absolute authority of Rome.  It is much in the style of How The West Was Won, if you've ever seen that movie.

    There is some action (particularly in the last story), but not a lot.  The emphasis is on the people, and their evolving mindset, not on blood and gore.  Mass communication is done by a kewl Semaphore system (is this where Terry Pratchett got his idea for the semaphores in the DiscWorld universe?).  The "good guys" are well-developed, but the "bad guys" are mostly without redeeming values.

Kewlest New Word...
Bumph : Reading materials that you must read and deal with, but which you think are extremely boring.

Excerpts...
    It was odd; but now, he felt he could talk to the old man.  Now he could explain his hopes, his fears...  Only now was too late; because Eli was dead and gone, six foot of Dorset muck on his chest.  Was that the way of the world?  Did people always feel they could talk, and talk, when it was just a bit too late?  (pg. 26)

    "Yes", she said.  "It's like a ... dance somehow, a minuet or a pavane.  Something stately and pointless, with all its steps set out.  With a beginning, and an end..."  She tucked her legs under her, as she sat beside the fire.  "Sir John," she said, "sometimes I think life's all a mass of significance, all sorts of strands and threads woven like a tapestry or a brocade.
    "So if you pulled one out or broke it, the pattern would alter right back through the cloth.  Then I think... it's all totally pointless, it would make just as much sense backwards or forwards, effects leading to causes and those to more effects... maybe that's what will happen when we get to the end of Time.  The whole world will shott undone like a spring, and wind itself back to the start..."  (pgs. 247-48)

Time is forever and scurry and bustle can wait.  (pg. 62)
    Pavane starts slow, and the early lack of action will be off-oputting to a lot of Alt-History fans who pick up this book.  A lot of readers also didn't like the ending (the "Coda"), but I thought it completed the story beautifully.

    If you're looking for a slash-and-bash Alt-History tale (and I for one enjoy those), then it's best to skip Pavane.  But if you want to observe how the mindset of a populace slowly-but-steadily learns of, accepts, and finally embraces rebellion (which is historically true in most revolutions.  A single act, such as Bunker Hill, is simply the flashpoint), then you may find this to be an excellent novel.  7½ Stars.

The Drawing of the Three - Stephen King

    1987; 463 pages.  Genre : Thriller.  New Author? : No.  Book #2 (out of 7) of the Dark Tower series.  Overall Rating : 8*/10.

   Roland (aka, "the Gunslinger") is ready to continue his quest to find the Dark Tower.  But first it is predestined that he open three doors - three portals in time, and probably to a parallel universe as well.  There are people he needs to meet ... and experience.

What's To Like...
The Drawing of the Three is a quantum improvement over Book 1, The Gunslinger, reviewed here.  The writing is better; the story is more coherent; and by now Stephen King has learned how to write a thriller.

    An Introduction is included, which revises the early version of Book 1 to fit it better into this story.  Since by chance it was the early version that I had read, this was much appreciated.

The people that the Gunslinger meets via the doors are not paragons of virtue.  One's a junkie; another's a schizo; the third kills for thrills.  There is loss (two fingers and a toe); there is action; there is romance (with a whole new meaning given to the term "threesome"); and there is time-travel, which I'm always a sucker for.  There's even a neat little tribute to Rosa Parks, one of my personal heroes.

Finally, there is some humor to offset the suspense, particularly the Gunslinger's confusion as he tries to understand our world and mis-hears its vocabulary.  So we get "astin", "magda-seens", tooter-fish", "tach-sees" and "fotter-graffs".  I'll let you work out what these are. 

Kewlest New Word...
Rugose : wrinkled; creased; ridged.  (Runner-Up was "Lobstrosity", a great portmanteau.)

Excerpts...
    "It's ka," he said, facing Eddie patiently.
    "What's ka?"  Eddie's voice was truculent.  "I never heard of it.  Except if you say it twice you come out with the baby word for sh*t."  (pg. 205)

    Roland felt a tired exasperation.  Someone - it might have been Cort but he rather thought it had been his father - had had a saying: Might as well try to drink the ocean with a spoon as argue with a lover.  If any proof of the saying were needed, there it stood above him, in a posture that was all defiance and defense.  Go on, the set of Eddie Dean's body said.  Go on, I can answer any question you throw at me.  (pgs. 348-49)

I looked at what he built, and to me it explained the stars.  (pg. 135)
    TDot3 is of course just part of a larger, much longer series; but it is a story-within-a-story, with a discrete ending.  I like that.  It is not, however, a stand-alone book.

    There is some great character development here, but it comes at the cost of there not being a lot of progress to the tale. After 463 pages, about all the Gunslinger has done is picked up some quest-companions.  I'm presuming they play important roles and will be around for a while, but that's not a given.

    TDot3 is a fast-paced, easy-reading page-turner, and a primer on how to keep readers on the edge of their seats.  The books start getting longer now, and all-told there are 4600+ pages in the series, of which I've read about 700.  I don't know if I'll read all seven books, but I'm definitely committed to the next one, The Waste Lands.  8 Stars for The Drawing of the Three.

Bears Discover Fire - Terry Bisson

1993; 250 pages.  Genre : Anthology; Short Stories; Fantasy.  New Author? : No.  Overall Rating : 7½*/10.

    19 short stories from the imaginative mind of Terry Bisson, and published in various Sci Fi magazines in 1990-93.  They vary in length from 3 to 45 pages.

    The title story, Bears Discover Fire, is the best known, and won all sorts of awards : the Nebula, the Hugo, and the Sturgeon.  They're Made Out Of Meat is also famous, and was a Hugo nominee.

The Best of the Lot...
    Over Flat Mountain.  A gigantic upheaval raises the Appalachian Mountains 100,000 feet.  Yeah, the wear and tear on a semi trying to get over that hump is staggering  But it's all worth it when the driver picks up a young boy hitchhiking. 

    Press Ann. ATM options like you've never dreamed of.  Two Guys From The Future.  The good news for a struggling painter is that she's going to become famous.  The guys from the future say so.  The bad news is they're here to collect/preserve some of her works that she hasn't even painted yet.

    The Shadow Knows.  The last, and the longest of the stories.  SETI worked!  We've heard back from beyond the Solar System.   But not in the way we expected.

Kewlest New Word...
Importunate : persistent to the point of being annoying and/or intrusive.

Excerpts...
   "It all boils down to this," I said.  "Why did God give George wings only to have them cut off?"
    The minister told me that the ways of God were strange.  "Why does He give man life," he said, "only to take it away again?  Why did He create the sky and not allow the fish to see it?"  He continued in this vein for several minutes, and then concluded, "You know in your heart that the doctor and I are right - the child's wings must be removed."  (pgs. 74-75)

    "But we were trying to obey the law!"
    "That makes it even worse.  The law is a just master, but it can be harsh with those who try to sabotage its spirit by hypocritically observing its letter.  However, I'm going to delay sentencing on Conspiracy and Hoarding because we have an even more serious charge to deal with here."
    "Sentencing?  We haven't even been convicted yet."
    "Young lady, are you splitting hairs with me?"  (pg. 85)

If a lion could talk, we couldn't understand it  (Wittgenstein)  (pg. 206)
    The stories have different themes and settings; but each has a Bisson-trademarked "twist" in them.  This is Fantasy, and there is a lot of Surrealism, and very little Terror.

    The story Bears Discover Fire is a wonderful example of this, and a microcosm of Bisson's full-length novels.  It's set in Appalachia (Bisson's home ground), but then tickles your mind with a bunch of bears making bonfires, holding torches, and sitting around campfires eating newberries.

   But that isn't the story's focus; it's just the backdrop.  The main emphasis is a warm, interrelationship of a backwoods family.  And like them, you the reader are expected to just accept the ursine unnaturalness.  Weird, eh?  That's a typical Bisson technique, and he excels at it.

    Only a few of the stories seemed so-so, and your opinion of which ones are "meh" and which are "teh" won't match up with mine.  My generic advice re reading Anthologies applies here : read a couple per session; if you try to finish it in one sitting, it dulls the enjoyment.  7½ Stars, but only because there's a limit to how high I can rate any Anthology.  If you've never read any Bisson before, BDF is a nice way to get acquainted.

Lost Burgundy (Ash #4) - Mary Gentle

1999; 330 pages.  Book #4 in the "Ash - A Secret History" series.  Genre : Fantasy.  New Author? : No.  Rating : 9*/10.

    Oh, Ash.  You and your band of mercenaries are holed up in 15th-century Dijon.  Actually, you command all the forces there, about 2,000 fighters all told.  Unfortunately, there are 15,000 Visigoths besieging you. 

    They have catapults, Greek fire, and giant stone Golems that are nearly indestructible.  You don't.  They have food; you don't.  They have reinforcements on the way; the northern armies you were counting on have been annihilated, with their leaders' severed heads tossed on your doorstep.  The author has made it clear - there will be no deus ex machina.  Whatcha gonna do, Ash?

What's To Like...
The siege has been going on since 1/3 of the way through Book #3.  A lot of Book #4 is more of the same.  Mary Gentle keeps it interesting, even though Ash is at her best when she's hacking and slashing, not hunkering down behind city walls.

    The Alt-History is realistic and fascinating.  Mithraism is a major religion.  The Turkish Saracens come off as un-stereotypically noble-minded.  Ms. Gentle even deftly weaves the modern-day issue of gays in the military into the storyline.  The constant detailing of every weapon and piece of armor may be off-putting to some, but I thought it enhanced the believability of the novel.

Kewlest New Word...
Grotty : very unpleasant or miserable.  A corruption of "grotesque".

Excerpts...
    I think that I had almost come to believe in Vaughan Davies's theory out of sheer desperation - that there actually has been a 'first history' of the world, which was wiped out in some fashion, and that we now inhabit a 'second history', into which bits of the first have somehow survived.  That Ash's history was first genuine, and has now been - fading, if you like - to Romance, to a cycle of legends.  (pg. 783)

    White showed in his priest-cropped hair, as well as his beard.  He reached for his Briar Cross with his free hand; large, capable, and scarred.  A workman's hand.  His eyes were dark as the sow's, and each detail of his face was clear to her, as if she had not seen him for months and now he suddenly was before her.
    "You think you'll always remember the face," Ash whispered, "but it's the first thing to go."
    -You think there will always be time.
     "You try to fix it in your mind..."  Ash stirred, on the mattress.  Like water sinking through sand, the clear dream of Godfrey Maximillian in the snow sank away.  She tried to hold it; felt it sliding from her mind.  (pg. 984)

"You hunted a myth.  I made it real."  (pg. 780)
    Burgundy Lost is Book #4 of the Ash Chronicles, but I never did find it.  Instead I came across a copy of the British edition, which is a 1200-page, all-in-one tome.  The page numbers in the Excerpts reflect that, as does the book cover image.  British readers apparently have longer attention spans than us Yanks.

    The pacing is a bit uneven.  Book #3 covers only two days, and a large chunk of Book #4 stalls on Christmas Day, 1476.  There is a second storyline, the present day, told via e-mails.  A lot of people didn't like this, but I found it to be an effective set of entr' actes, nicely separating the chapters.

    Then there's the ending.  What a fantastic way of wrapping up an epic!  This is a spoiler-free blog, so we'll refrain from giving details.  But it truly is an innovative resolution of what to do with our doomed heroine.

    You can call this series (or 'this book' if you're reading it in England) Alt-History, or Historical Fiction, or just plain, old Fantasy.  It excels in all genres.  9 Stars, and that applies to both Burgundy Lost and the series as a whole.

The Witches of Chiswick - Robert Rankin

2003; 400 pages.  Genre : Humor; Fiction.  New Author? : No.  Overall Rating : 8½*/10.

    Holy anomaly, Will Starling!  Is that a digital wrist-watch you see in that 19th-century painting by Richard Dadd?  But they weren't invented for another 100 years!

    Or so we've been told.  Hmmm.  Maybe that explains why those Terminator-type automotons are killing everyone who answers to the name "Will Starling".  Perhaps you should chrono-hop to Victorian England to straighten things out.

What's To Like...
    There are conspiracy theories galore.  There is lots of time-travel.  And none of that "Prime Directive" crap where you're not supposed to change anything while visiting the past.  The whole point here is to change things.  The events of the future affect the past.

    There are some kewl characters to get to know; some historical; some fictional.  Among them are Queen Victoria; her secret lover, Dr. Watson, Sherlock Holmes, Tesla (his kewl inventions anyway); Hugo Rune; Count Otto Black; The Elephant Man; that talented novelist, Lazlo Woodbine; and last but not least, Barry the Guardian Sprout.

    You have the typical Rankin zaniness, witty dialogue, and running gags.  The Witches kinda get short-shrifted, but that's okay.  People die, but they don't stay dead.  The "4th Wall" comes into play at times.

Kewlest New Word...
Athame : a double-edged witch's ceremonial knife, usually with a black handle.

Excerpts...
    The interior of the Shrunken Head was rough: it was dire, it was ill-kempt and wretched.  The management was surly, the bouncers were brutal.  The beer, a pallid lager called Little, was overpriced and underpowered.  It was everything that a great live-music pub should be.  (pg. 56-57)

    "I have been programmed to destroy you," said the evil automoton.  "And I have also been programmed with the entire Dimac manual.  And those of Karate, Ninjitsu, Kung Fu and Baritso."
    Will spun once more upon his heel and kicked it once more in the face, and the black-eyed monster once more repositioned his jaw.
    "And macramé," it added.
    "That's not a martial art," said Will.
    "It's a hobby," the thing replied.  "I will knit a plant pot holder from your beard, as soon as I have torn your head from your shoulders."  (pg. 343)

"It doesn't blow the snits out of your gab-trammel, if that's what you mean."  (pg. 58)
    At times, it feels like Rober Rankin loses control of the dizzying, convoluted plot twists, chrono-hopping, and historical alterations.  At times there's a bit too much talking and not enough doing.

    But the plotlines all come together nicely in the end, and witty dialogue is a major reason there is a devoted following of Rankin readers, including me.  If you've read other books by this author, The Witches of Chiswick will not disappoint.  If you haven't read anything by Rankin yet, this is as good of a place to start as any.  8½ Stars.

Druids - Morgan Llywelyn

1991; 400 pages.  Genre : Historical Fiction; Historical Fantasy.  New Author? : Yes.  Overall Rating : 9*/10.

    Life is good for our hero, Ainvar.  He is the Chief Druid for all of Gaul.  He has the most talent for magic seen in many generations.  Kings and warriors listen carefully to his counsel.  He is the soul-brother of the famed Vercingetorix.  And he gets to practice sex magic with all sorts of women.

    But there is a black cloud on the horizon.  It wears a red cloak and is named Gaius Julius Caesar.  It doesn't take a ballista-scientist to divine his aims.  To subjugate all the Gallic tribes.  And exterminate the Druids.

What's To Like...
    The characters are well-developed.  The women characters are just as strong as the men.  Indeed, some even join the front ranks of the battles.  The historical portions (Vercingetorix's struggles against the Romans) are accurately detailed.

   Historically, very little is known about the Druids themselves, and most of it comes from the biased Romans.  So Morgan Llwelyn has free rein to develop a believable druidic system.  She's creatively superb at that, and it's when she's detailing the spells, propheecies, out-of-body erperiences, etc. that the fantasy part of the novel arises.  That's okay though, cuz New Age (so-called) Druids will eat it up.

    The magic is potent, but not all-powerful.  I'll put up with the sex magic, although the idea of a promiscuous priesthood seems a bit far-fetched.  And I'm okay with the uneven subject treatment (the Gauls wear the white hats; the Romans wear the black ones).  If you want to cheer for the Romans, go read Caesar's Gallic Commentaries.

Kewlest New Word...
Vates : Soothsayers; bards; prophets; poets.  Usually refers to Celtic practitioners of these arts.

Excerpts...
    If I could only reach the grove I thought, in my panic, that I would be safe.  The grove was sacred, everyone knew that.  Even the animals of the forest were said to revere it; surely the wolves would not kill me there.
    Surely.
    At fifteen, one believes any amount of nonsense.  (pg. 8)

    The chief druid never made an awkward gesture, even when he scratched himself.  Every movement was fluid, celebrating the ability to move.
    I was so impressed, I even believed he farted musically.  (pg. 23)

    "Don't waste your effort on smoke and sacrifice, Ainvar," he said harshly.  "We're winning through our own strength, not because of some dubious druid magic."
    Winners, my head observed, believe they succeed on their own merit.  It is only losers who require gods to blame.   (pgs. 341-42)

Death is a cobweb we brush through; not the last thing but the least thing.  (pg. 153)
    Druids is a nice blend of history and fantasy.  It is to Morgan Llywelyn's credit that neither overwhelms the other.  The writing is well-done and the pacing is good.  But this is also a tragic tale. 
The outcome is inevitable.  "Veni, vidi, vici."

    The ending is therefore sad, but not maudlin.  The Romans win; the Gauls are conquered; the Druids are scattered; and Ainvar is forced to flee for his life.  That may seem like a major downer, but be of good cheer.  There is a sequel.  9 Stars.

Indecent Exposure - Tom Sharpe

1973; 248 pages.  Genre : Political Satire; Humor.  New Author? : No.  Overall Rating : 8½*/10.

    In the fictional South African city of Piemburg, the chief of police, Kommandant van Heerden, decides it's time to go on vacation.  As soon as he leaves, his back-stabbing, omni-bigoted second-in-command, Luitenant Verkramp, resolves to show people what he's capable of.  He succeeds, but that's not a good thing.

What's To Like...
    This is the sequel to Riotous Assembly, reviewed here.  Once again, there is a clever mixing of slapstick comedy with the horrors and brutality of South African apartheid.  Once again, there are a half-dozen storylines, all of them zanily running amok.

    Van Heerden, a Boer, uses his vacation to try and become Britishized.  Verkramp is an out-of-control  bundle of misguided energy.  Alarmed that some of the white police force might be having relations with black women, he initiates a comprehensive shock-aversion therapy program.  It works, but not in the way he intended.  Verkramp is also looking for Communist subversives, and if he can't find any, he'll make his own.  All the while trying to avoid the amorous clutches of a lady psychiatrist, one Dr. von Blimenstein.

    And do I spy the scurrilous Konstabel Els underneath yonder table?  I thought he was dead.

Kewlest New Word...
Divagation : a digression in a speech.

Excerpts...
    "Do you like it?" the doctor enquired stretching voluptuously.  Verkramp swallowed and said that he did, very much.  "It's the new wet look in stretch nylon."  Verkramp found himself staring at her breasts hypnotically and with the terrible realization that he was committed to an evening spent in public with a woman who was wearing what amounted to a semi-transparent scarlet bodystocking.  Luitenant Verkramp's reputation for sober and God-fearing living was something he had always been proud of and as a devout member of the Verwoerd Street Dutch Reformed Church he was shocked by the doctor's outfit.  As he drove up to the Piltdown Hotel the only consolation he could find was that the beastly garment was so tight she wouldn't be able to dance in it,.  Luitenant Verkramp didn't dance.  He thought it was sinful.  (pg. 39)

    "You must think I'm absolutely frightful," she murmured one afternoon as they sat on the verandah.
    The Kommandant said he didn't think anything of the sort.
    "I suppose it's because I've had so little experience of the real world," she continued, "that I find it so fascinating to meet a man with so much je ne sais quoi."
    "Oh, I don't know about that," said the Kommandant modestly.  (pg. 57)

All cats are grey when the candles are out.  (pg. 227)
    All the gallivating story threads get tied up neatly at the end.  The humor made me LOL, and that's a rare treat.  Indecent Exposure may be the only novel that has exploding ostriches in it.

    If there's a downside, it's that thre are no redeeming characters.  The British are dumb and stuffy.  The Boers are dumb and brutal.  The Blacks are dumb and cowardly.  The gays are dumb and stereotyped.

   Still, it is a worthy read, both for its lively wit and its ugly, gritty depicting of South African apartheid.  It is a subject Tom Sharpe knows only too well.  He lived in South Africa for a while, and in the early 60's was jailed, then deported, on the charge of sedition.

    There are enough references to events from Riotous Assembly, that you really should read that one first.  I found Indecent Exposure almost - but not quite - as entertaining as that one.  8½ Stars.

Nation - Terry Pratchett

2008; 370 pages.  Genre : YA Fiction; Adventure.  New Author? : No.  Overall Rating : 9*/10.

    In the 19th-century South Pacific (known here as the "South Pelagic") a huge tsunami inundates an island village, leaving only one boy, Mau, as a survivor.   The killer wave also destroys an English sailing ship, depositing its wreckage on the same island, including a single survivor - a highborn girl, Ermintrude (aka "Daphne").

    Will the two castaways manage to  learn to communicate?  To survive?  To help the other refugees that straggle in?  To deal with the pirates that are prowling the area?

What's To Like...
    Nation is not part of Terry Pratchett's Discworld series.  It is darker, and deals with more serious and complex issues than are encountered in Ankh-Morpork.  And while there is some Pratchettian humor (most notably a salty-tongued parrot), it is overall less silly in nature.

    The tale plods for a bit as we get through the "Robinson Crusoe" phase, but picks up nicely with the arrival of others, along with Mau and Daphne's exploration of the island.  When the bad guys show up, things really get cooking.  This is also a coming-of-age story, but nothing unseemly.  Indeed, Nation is a YA book, though adults will enjoy it too.

    Pratchett weaves some nice twists into the storyline, and just when you think you've reached the climax, he shows you that isn't what he considers to be the main ending at all.

Kewlest New Word...
Crosier : a staff surmounted with a crook or cross, carried by bishops as a symbol of their office.

Excerpts...
    "She is a lady indeed, although my limited experience of her suggests that she is also a mixture of the warrior queen Boadicea without the chariot, Catherine de'Medici without the poisoned rings, and Attila the Hun without his wonderful sense of fun.  Do not play cards with her, because she cheats like a Mississippi bustout dealer, keep sherry away from her, do everything she says, and we might all live."
    "Sharp tongue, eh?"
    "Razor blade, Captain."  (pg. 9)

    "Why did the wave spare you?  Why did it spare me?  Why did it spare that baby which will die soon enough?  Why does it rain?  How many stars are in the sky?  We cannot know these things!  Just be thankful the gods spared your life!" shouted the old man.
    "I will not!  To thank them for my life means I thank them for the deaths."  (pg. 102)

Magic is just a way of saying "I don't know."  (pg. 157)
    How do you measure "civilization"?  If a country can make warships and cannons, and sail around the earth;  is it more "civilized" than one that uses spears and dugout canoes to live off the land; and can only travel among a chain of islands?

    Are our "western" deities superior to "nature' or "elemental" ones?  Are they more valid?  Where do natural disasters like a tsunami fit in with a supernatural plan?  Can any gods coexist with science?

    What is the balance between personal aspirations and duty to one's country?  Is a monarch freer or more confined by his role than you and I?  Finally, what priority does love have in all this?

    These are all good questions, and all get evenly addressed here, although Pratchett leaves it to you to determine the answers.  Nation is a worthy read for anyone over about 12 years old and will leave you with lots to ponder.  9 Stars.

The Naked God - Peter F. Hamilton

2000; 1332 pages.  New Author? : No.  Book #3 of the "Night's Dawn" trilogy.  Genre : Epic Space Opera.  Overall Rating : 9½*/10.

    The galaxy-wide battle between Possessed and Unpossessed rages unabated.  Quinn Dexter has infiltrated Earth, despite all efforts to stop him.  Al Capone's starfleet has the Confederation on the brink of collapse.  And when cornered, the Possessed use their collective will to move entire planets to some unknown, faraway haven.

    The only hope appears to be some old Tyrathcan myth about some "Sleeping God".  But no one (including the Tyrathcans) have any idea what it is, let alone where to find it.  So you just know Joshua Calvert is going to be sent out on this wild goose chase.

What's To Like...
    The characters are superb.  There are decent Possessed folk, and even the arch-fiend Quinn is not completely "black".  Some of the Unpossessed, and the methods they use to combat possession, are ethically pretty shaky.

    The tension continues to build steadily.  Both sides score some much-needed victories.  The storylines keep expanding until, with only 300 pages to go, I questioned whether Peter F. Hamilton could bring it all back together and tidily tie everything up.  I shouldn't've worried.

    The ending was well-done, with multiple resolutions instead of a single Deus Ex Machina (the Sleeping God) taking care of everything.  Some found it contrived, but that's kind of necessary if we also expect all the storylines to conveniently culminate at the same time.  My only beef is that, as feared, The Neutronium Alchemist (Book 2) appears to have been a monumental tangent.

Kewlest New Word...
Hypergolic : igniting spontaneously when mixed together.

Excerpts...
    "I wouldn't have been so generous," Kiera said.  "You shouldn't show so much kindness.  People will see it as a weakness."
    "You're dealing with people, not mechanoids," Jezzibella said blankly.  "You have to make allowances for the odd mistake.  If you shoot every waiter who spills a cup of coffee over your skirt, you wind up with a self service bar."
    Kiera smiled condescendingly at her.  "What you'll actually wind up with is a group of highly efficient waiters who can do the job effectively."   (pg. 110)

    "Quinn, what happens after?"
    "After what?"
    "After the Light Bringer comes and, you know, we kill everyone that doesn't do as we say?"
    "We live in His Kingdom, under His  light, and our serpent beasts will run free and wild for the rest of time.  He will have saved us from enslavement inside the false lord's prison city; that heaven the dumb-ass religions keep singing about."
    "Oh.  Okay, that sounds pretty cool."  (pg. 1113)

"What kind of a universe is this anyway?"  (pg. 1099)
    The Naked God is the concluding book of the trilogy.  The first two books are reviewed here (The Reality Dysfunction) and here (The Neutronium Alchemist).  Naturally, the question you have to ask is : "At 3600 pages, is it worth my time?"

    Well, Peter F. Hamilton gives you a struggle of cosmic proportions, dozen of worlds to explore, and lots of people (human, alien, living, dead, undead, and various combinations thereof) to follow along with.  Every 30-50 pages, he hops to another thread, so things stay varied.  There is life, death, romance, drama, action, hope, and  despair; and even a little comic relief to occasionally lighten the way.

    In the end, Hamilton succeeded in keeping me entertained for 3600 pages, and that's no small feat.  I'd recommend this to any Sci-Fi fan, particularly those who enjoy Space Opera.  OTOH, if you aren't such an enthusiast or you think any book that takes more than a day to read is too long, you might not want to tackle this.  9½ Stars.

The Temple of the Muses - John Maddox Roberts

1992; 203 pages.  Book #4 of the SPQR series.  Genre : Historical Adventure; Murder Mystery.  New Author? : Yes.  Overall Rating : 8*/10.

    Who would want to kill a crotchety old Alexandrian philosopher?  That's what our hero, Decius, wants to find out, even if it's technically none of his business.  He's part of a Roman diplomatic mission to Egypt, but his specialties are offending the natives and getting into trouble.  Fortunately, he's also pretty good at solving crimes.

What's to like...
    The story is set in Ptolemic Alexandria - slightly before the reigns of Cleopatra and Julius Caesar come to pass.  The Temple of the Muses is a history-lover's detailed delight - you can envision the streets and buildings of ancient Alexandria in its prime as Decius nakes his rounds investigating the murder.

    The story is told in the first person, and John Maddox Roberts gives our hero and abundance of wry wit.  Decius has some entertaining insights about religious cults (and religions in general) and political intrigue, which is the same in any age.  He also treats the subject of slavery evenly - horror stories are avoided, and Decius' slave, Hermes, is both a servant and a confidant.  But Decius is also aware that Hermes would bolt at the first chance if he was sure that he wouldn't be caught again.

Kewlest New Word...
Sistrum : a musical instrument of ancient Egypt consisting of a metal frame with transverse metal rods that rattle when the instrument is shaken.  See the Wikipedia article on it here.

Excerpts...
    The previous generation of Ptolemies had assassinated one another nearly out of existence, and an irate Alexandrian mob had finished the job.  A royal bastard, Philopator Philadelphus Neos Dionysius, who was, in sober fact, a flute-player, had been found to fill the vacant throne.  For more than a century Rome had been the power broker in Egypt, and he appealed to Rome to help shore up his shaky claim and we obliged.  Rome would always rather prop up a weak king than deal with a strong one.  (pg. 11-12)

    "That is the Temple of Baal-Ahriman, although in better days it was a respectable temple of Horus.  I would recommend that you avoid it, Senator.  It is a cult brought here by unwashed foreigners, and only the lewdest and most degraded of Alexandrians frequent it.  Their barbarous god is worshipped with disgusting orgies,"
    Hermes tugged at my arm.  "Let's go!  Let's go!".  (pg. 72)

A murder!  How thrilling!  (pg. 53)
   You'll find The Temple of the Muses in the Mystery section of your local bookstore or library, but if you read it for that, you'll be disappointed.  The key breakthrough moment is extremely contrived, and other logically important discoveries (such as a mercenary army training secretly in the desert) get mind-bogglingly ignored.

    OTOH, if you read this a historical fiction, you'll find it a fascinating story.  There's plenty of action, lots of intrigue, and a look at daily life in Ptolemic Egypt that you won't find anywhere else.

    At 200 pages, this is a quick read, and even though it is part of a series, it stands on its own quite nicely.  I liked it better than the Lindsey Davis 'Marcus Falco' book I read (reviewed here).  We'll give it 8 Stars, and if I run across any more of the series in the bookstores, I'm sure I'll pick them up.