Soul Music - Terry Pratchett

   1995; 3739 pages.  Book 16 (out of 41) in “Discworld” series.  New Author? : No.  Laurels : #151 in the “Big Read”.  Genres : Humorous Fantasy; Satire; British Humour.  Overall Rating : 9*/10.

 

    The music is magical in Ankh-Morpork.  Especially the tunes being played by a newly-formed group, “The Band With Rocks In”.  It has listeners tapping their feet, snapping their fingers, and swaying with the beat.  What’s next, people fainting in the aisles?

 

    The wizards at the Unseen University are concerned.  The magic emanating from The Band With Rocks In is not one of their incantations.  An investigation is called for.  They’ll soon get to the bottom of things.

 

    Meanwhile, the Grim Reaper himself, Death, has taken a leave of absence.  It falls upon his granddaughter, Susan, to fill in on a temporary basis, even though she has zero experience swinging the scythe.

 

    So in summary, it’s just another normal day on Discworld.  Let’s go see Band With Rocks In down at the local pub tonight.

 

What’s To Like...

    Soul Music is first and foremost Terry Pratchett’s salute to the 20^th century music business.  In a nutshell, he plops it down in Discworld, among its dwarves, trolls, wizards, gods, and magic, and postulates how similar its development would be when compared to our world.

 

    This includes such things as forming a band and recording its music so that you can listen to it anytime, anyplace.  A number of our-world music idols received subtle nods from Pratchett.  For instance, one character is named “Satchelmouth”, which I eventually realized could be condensed to “Satchmo”, jazz favorite Louis Armstrong’s sobriquet.  Similarly, Imp, a bard whose guitar-playing is magical, is referred to as looking a bit “elvish”.  Well, he is short in stature, but there is a second way to interpret that “elvish” comparison.

 

    It is also fascinating to watch the coming-of-age of Susan.  She starts out as a student at a girl’s boarding school, and has a unique talent – she can turn invisible whenever she’s bored.  What a great way to skip boring classes!  But being the step-grandchild of Death forces her to come to grips with the Facts of Death (as opposed to the Facts of Life), and learn to pick up the Scythe, ride grandfather's horse Binky, team up with a rodent called "Death of Rats", and carry her family duties.

 

    Most of the tale takes place in Ankh-Morpork, so a lot of familiar characters show up, including C.M.O.T. Dibbler, the Librarian (ook!), Lord Vetineri, and Corporal Nobbs and Sergeant Colon of the City Watch.  Being a chemist, I also enjoyed the several times that Chemistry is resorted to, including using the compounds Calcium Carbonate, Ammonium Chloride, and an rare chemical that my company used to manufacture, Ammonium Sulfide.  Wowza!

 

    As with any Discworld novel, the two main storylines rapidly split into a bunch of secondary ones, which keeps the pacing brisk.  As (almost) always, Terry Pratchett eschews the use of chapters , but that just means you can stop for the night at any paragraph break you encounter.  The ending is more heartwarming than exciting, and ties up all the plot threads tidily.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.5/5 based on 6,236 ratings and 432 reviews.

    Goodreads: 4.06/5 based on 84,620 ratings and 2,875 reviews.

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Plangent (adj.) : loud, reverberating, and often melancholy.

 

Excerpts...

    The class was learning about some revolt in which some peasants had wanted to stop being peasants and, since the nobles had won, had stopped being peasants really quickly.  Had they bothered to learn to read and acquire some history books they’d have learned about the uncertain merits of things like scythes and pitchforks when used in a battle against crossbows and broadswords.  (pg. 39)

 

    “He says to tell you,” said Albert wearily, “that a chit of a girl means a small girl.  He thinks you may have misheard me.”

    Susan hunched up in the chair.  Albert pulled up another one and sat down.

    “How old are you?”

    “Sixteen.”

    “Oh my.”  Albert rolled his eyes.  “How long have you been sixteen?”

    “Since I was fifteen, of course.  Are you stupid?”  (pg. 76)

 

“Never give a monkey the key to the banana plantation.”  (pg. 218)

    As is normal for a Discworld novel, there’s only a smidgen of mild cussing in Soul Music.  I counted just six instances in the first third of the book, all of which were eschatological ones, and there are no adult situations to shield juvenile eyes from.

 

    There were two punctuation typos: The/Then and Fit’s/Fits.  I thought there was a spelling typo (surelly/surely), but it turns out that Imp’s accent results in prolonged emphasis on any “L sound” in his speaking.  My only other quibble is that two of my favorite City Watch characters—Sam Vimes and Carrot—didn’t make it into the tale.

 

    That’s all I can nitpick about.  I always have high expectations when starting to read a Discworld book, and once again, Terry Pratchett did not disappoint me.  Only two books from the series remain for me to read (I’m not reading them in order), and it will be a bittersweet day whenever I finish the entire series.

 

    9 Stars.  One last thing.  There may be no chapter divisions, but Terry Pratchett’s trademark Footnotes are still plentiful here.  Also, if you’re new to the Discworld series, there’s a handy Glossary in the back of the book, which closes with a Discworld Trivia Quiz.  Fantastic!

A Hat Full of Sky - Terry Pratchett

   2004; 406 pages.  New Author? : No.  Book 32 (out of 41) in the “Discworld” series.  Book 2 (out of 5) in the “Tiffany Aching” sub-series.  Genre : Fantasy; Humor.  Overall Rating: 8*/10.

 

    It’s time for Tiffany Aching to start her training to be a witch!  The first step is a big one—she’s going to leave home and move into her witch-tutor’s house.  This means saying goodbye to her parents for a while, even though she’s only eleven years old.

 

    Her tutor will be Miss Level.  Both of her.  We’ll explain that later.  Tiffany will also get to do a bit of socializing with other girls her age who are also training to be witches.

 

    Magic spells and flying brooms certainly sound exciting!  But keep your ears and eyes open, Tiffany.  Because there are other creatures out there who can sense when spells are being cast, and locate their sources.

 

    And not all of them have your best interests in mind.

 

What’s To Like...

    A Hat Full of Sky is the second book in a 5-volume YA coming-of-age fantasy series set in Terry Pratchett’s Discworld universe.  Book One, The Wee Free Men, introduced us to nine-year-old Tiffany, now it’s two years later.

 

    Being so young, Tiffany struggles with self-confidence and socializing with other girls, and it's fun to watch her progress in those areas over time.  She also learns that the essence of being a witch is more about caring about and rendering service to those in need in her neighborhood, not performing dazzling tricks.

 

    As with any Terry Pratchett novel, the character-building here is superb.  We are introduced to several local witches, each with their own quirks: one can’t make turns while flying on her broom; and Miss Level somehow has two simultaneous manifestations.  Oswald is a neat-freak ondageist (say what?!), and even the group of Pictsies called the Nac Mac Feegle, all have their own unique personalities.

 

    The tension in the storyline builds and leads up to a life-or-death confrontation between Tiffany and an unstoppable essence called “the hiver”, where the outcome-determining question is: how do you defeat something that is, by definition, invincible?  Things close with a festival called “The Witch Trials” where all the witches—whether they be initiates and old veteran hags alike—get to show off the tricks of their trade.  The story ends on Hogswatchday, a celebration on Discworld known as “the changing of the year”, or what you and I would call the Winter Solstice.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.8/5 based on 4,992 ratings and 598 reviews.

    Goodreads: 4.32/5 based on 76,926 ratings and 2,742 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    “PLN?” she said.

    “Aye,” said Rob proudly.  “We came prepared!  Look, it’s written doon.  Pee El Ner.  Plan.”

   “Er . . . how can I put this . . .” Miss Level mused.  “Ah, yes.  You came rushing all this way to save Tiffany from a creature that can’t be seen, touched, smelled, or killed.  What did you intend to do when you found it?”

    Rob Anybody scratched his head, to a general shower of objects.

    “I think mebbe you’ve put yer finger on the one weak spot, mistress,” he admitted.  (pg. 222)

 

    “I thought you might have a . . . a use for this.”

    The old woman slowly unwrapped the white paper.  The Zephyr Billow cloak unrolled itself under her fingers and filled the air like smoke.

    “It’s lovely, but I couldn’t wear it,” said Tiffany as the cloak shaped itself over the gentle currents of the clearing.  “You need gravitas to carry off a cloak like that.”

    “What’s gravitarse?” said Granny Weatherwax sharply.

    “Oh . . . dignity.  Seniority.  Wisdom.  Those sorts of things,” said Tiffany.  (pg. 396)

 

Kindle Details…

    A Hat Full of Sky sells for $13.99 at Amazon right now.  The other 40 books in the series range in price from $4.99 to $14.99, with no apparent pattern in the pricing strategy

 

It was dreadful when your own thoughts tried to gang up on you.  (pg. 308)

    A Hat Full of Sky contains zero profanity, zero gore, and zero adult situations.  The target audience is YA girls, so I expected this level of cleanliness, but if you’re not part of that target audience (and I’m not), you may find the story’s tone a bit “tame”.

 

    You might also find the pacing in the first half of the book, where Tiffany gets her first lessons in witchery, a bit slow.  But the second half of the story is vintage Pratchett storytelling, and is worth the wait.  I should also admit that I’m not reading these Tiffany Aching books in order, and I definitely got the feeling that was a mistake on my part.

 

    Although the story is set in Discworld, the only characters from the main series that play a role here are Granny Weatherwax and Death.  If your favorite character is someone like Carrot, Sam Vimes, or Rincewind, you might be a bit disappointed, although the Nac Mac Feegle do supply a fair amount of Discworld wit and hilarity to the tale.

 

    Overall, A Hat Full of Sky fully met my expectation for a Terry Pratchett YA novel, with some excellent insight for young readers about things like self-image and service to one’s fellow man.  Adults will likely find it thought-provoking as well.

 

    8 Stars.  One last thing.  When you’re given three wishes by a grateful genie or magic frog or fairy godmother, what should your third wish always be, according to Granny Weatherwax?  Answer is in the comments.

Wyrd Sisters - Terry Pratchett

   1988; 319 pages.  Book 6 (out of 41) in the “Discworld” series; Book 2 (out of 6) in the “Witches” subseries.  New Author? : No.  Genres :  Humorous Fantasy; Shakespeare Spoofery; British Humour.  Laurels: 135^th in The Big Read.  Overall Rating : 8*/10.

 

    It’s all a bit confusing.  King Verence can see himself lying at the bottom of a stairway.  His body is well-toned.  He’s kind of proud of that.  But why is he able to gaze upon himself from above?

 

    There’s a black-robed being at his side who’s explaining all this.  Something about King Verence now being a ghost.  But that’s silly.  He was alive just a minute ago, at the top of the stairs.

 

    Maybe that dagger sticking out of the middle of his back has something to do with it.

 

What’s To Like...

    Wyrd Sisters is part of the “Witches” subseries of Terry Pratchett’s fantastic “Discworld” series.  The story takes place in the Kingdom of Lancre, not the customary setting of Ankh-Morpork, which means there’s no Sam Vimes, Carrot, or Patrician to amuse us.  But the three witches, Granny Weatherwax, Magrat, and Nanny Ogg, do a fine job of weaving their own fascinating tale.

 

    Plus there are a bunch of new characters to help out: the ghost of King Verence, the Fool, Duke and Lady Felmet, Tomjon, Hwel, and a specter-seeing cat named Greebo.  And last but not least is the always entertaining grim reaper, Death.

 

    The main plotline chronicles the aftermath of King Verence’s demise.  But we also tag along with a traveling theater troupe, watch the three witches develop their coven and, for one of them, sample something called romance.  And despite a witchy rule of never meddling in the affairs of humans, the trio of hags quickly become entangled in the issue of who shall succeed the lately deceased King of Lancre.

 

    There are references throughout the text to several Shakespearean plays, most notably Macbeth.  I also sensed brief nods to Romeo and Juliet, as well as The Tempest, and other reviewers spotted several more.  But rest assured, even if you’ve never read any of the Bard’s plays, or read them and were unimpressed, you’ll still find Wyrd Sisters an entertaining tale.

 

    The book’s title is referenced twice along the way.  The text is chock full of Terry Pratchett’s delightful footnotes, and completely devoid of Chapter separations, another Pratchett trademark.  Death tries his hand at a new career, and Granny tries to understand why people go to watch plays.  You’ll also learn worst insult you can lay on a dwarf: “b’zugda-hiara”.  Its translation is given in the comments, due to its filthiness.

 

    All the plot threads converge to make a suitable ending.  Good triumphs, Evil is vanquished, and a nifty plot twist pops up just when you think you’ve figured out how everything’s going to turn out.  Wyrd Sisters is a standalone novel, as well as a part of a series and a subseries.

 

Kewlest New Word ...

    Orgulous (adj.) : haughty; bossy.

    Others: Hoyden (n).

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.6/5 based on 10,621 ratings and 696 reviews.

    Goodreads: 4.16/5 based on 117,976 ratings and 4,757 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    Vitoller shifted uneasily.  “I already owe Chrystophrase the Troll more than I should.”

    The other two stared.

    “He’s the one that has people’s limbs torn off!” said Tomjon.

    “How much do you owe him,” asked Hwel.

    “It’s all right,” said Vitoller hurriedly.  “I’m keeping up the interest payments.  More or less.”

    “Yes, but how much does he want?”

    “An arm and a leg.”  (pg. 227)

 

    “When’s the play going to be, then?” she said, moving closer.

    “Marry, I’m sure I’m not allowed to tell you,” said the Fool.  “The duke said to me, he said, don’t tell the witches that it’s tomorrow night.”

    “I shouldn’t, then,” agreed Magrat.

    “At eight o’clock.”

    “I see.”

    “But meet for sherry beforehand at seven thirty, i’faith.”

    “I expect you shouldn’t tell me who is invited, either,” said Magrat.

    “That’s right.  Most of the dignitaries of Lancre.  You understand I’m not telling you this.”  (pg. 260)

 

“Double hubble, stubble trouble, Fire burn and cauldron bub—"  (pg. 231)

    There’s never much to gripe about in a Discworld story, so I’m reduced to nitpicking.

 

    There’s very little cussing in any Discworld novel.  I counted just four expletives in the first 50% of the book, and those were all of the “mild” variety.  Needless to say, there were no R-rated situations either.

 

    There were a few more typos than I’d expect in a book published by ROC Fantasy, a subsidiary of Penguin Books, including feel/feet, eves/eyes, Ramptoppers/Ramtoppers, and help/held.

 

    Finally, keep in mind that Terry Pratchett is a British author, so Discworld novels are written in English, not American.  Examples: mantlepiece/mantelpiece, theatre/theater, no-one/no one, grey/gray, and mid-air/midair.  It's always fun to learn a foreign language this way.

 

    For me, Wyrd Sisters was a delightful read; but then again, I say that about all Discworld novels, only two of which remain on my TBR shelf: Soul Music and The Truth.  If you’re looking for a lighthearted Fantasy series, one which you don’t necessarily need to read the books in order, I can’t think of any better one than this.

 

    8 Stars.  One last tidbit.  Early on, a reference is made to something called “droit de seigneur”.  It rang a bell, but I had to look it up, and I’ll let you do the same.  It brought back old memories of a 1965 Charlton Heston, The War Lord, where droit de seigneur plays an important part.  Jeez, I haven’t thought of that flick in decades.

Witches Abroad - Terry Pratchett

   1991; 320 pages.  Book 12 (out of 41) in the “Discworld” series.  Book 3 (out of 6) in the “Witches” subseries.  New Author? : No.  Genres : Fantasy; British Humour; Fairy Tales; Satire.  Laurels: 197^th in the Big Read.  Overall Rating: 8½*/10.

 

    Desiderata Hollow has died.  She was both a witch and a fairy godmother, and she's bequeathed her godmotherly magic wand to the young witch, Magrat Garlick, which surprised some of the more experienced witches such as Nanny Ogg and Granny Weatherwax.  But the wand came with a note and a task.

 

    “You must goe to the city of Genua.  I would of done thys myself only cannot by reason of bein dead.  Ella Saturday muste NOTTE marry the prins.”

 

    There was also a postscript: “PSPS Tell those 2 Olde Biddys they are NOTTE to come with Youe, they will onlie Ruine everythin.”

 

    There’s no doubt that the “2 Olde Biddys” refer to Nanny Ogg and Granny Weatherwax.  And there’s no doubt that Desiderata knew exactly how they’ll react to being forbidden to accompany Magrat.

 

    All three witches will be heading to Genua.

 

What’s To Like...

    Witches Abroad is Book 12 of Terry Pratchett’s 41-volume “Discworld” series.  I’m not reading them in order, and that doesn’t seem to be a handicap at all.  It’s also part of the 6-volume “Witches” subseries, of which I’ve now read all but one.  The three witches all get equal time in the spotlight here.

 

    In a nutshell, Witches Abroad is a take-off of the Cinderella fairy tale.  The book’s premise is that, for the characters in any such classic story there is no such thing as Free Will, they must adhere to whatever the storyline is.  Our trio of witches are determined to change those rules.

 

    Of course, they do not immediately embrace this task.  While traveling by broomstick to Genua, they cross paths with other tales, such as Snow White, Little Red Riding Hood, the Three Pigs, the Three Bears, the Wizard of Oz, and even the game of Clue.  Both the reader and the witches develop an empathy for the poor, doomed Big Bad Wolf in Little Red Riding Hood.

 

    The book is written in a mild form of English, not American, so you get some British spellings such as jewellery, defence, ante-room, and half-way, but it’s not a distraction.   And Nanny Ogg’s self-coined polyglot efforts are a wonder to behold.  One sample of her efforts is given below.

 

    The greeting “Wotcha!” always makes me smile when I come across in a book I'm reading.  Absinthe gets a brief nod, and it was fun the learn how to turn rocks into pumpkins.  An as is true of almost any Terry Pratchett novel, there are lots of witty footnotes and no chapters.

 

    The ending is vintage Pratchett:  clever without being obvious, and as exciting as a humorous fantasy climax can be.  The plotlines are all tied up and everyone gets their just desserts.  Witches Abroad is both a standalone novel as well as part of a series.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.7*/5, based on 3,511 ratings and 555 reviews.

    Goodreads: 4.22*/5, based on 82,370 ratings and 2,5134 reviews

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Eructate (v.) : to belch.

Others: Vouchsafed (v.).

 

 

Things That Sound Dirty But Aren’t…

    “Just twist the first thing you can grab, as the High Priest said to the vestal virgin.”  (pg. 263)

 

Excerpts...

    “It’s only a folk song, Esme,” said Nanny Ogg.

    “Hah! Said Granny Weatherwax.  “I should just say it is a folk song!  I knows all about folk songs.  Hah!  You think you’re listenin’ to a nice song about . . . about cuckoos and fiddlers and nightingales and whatnot, and then it turns out to be about . . . about something else entirely,” she added darkly.  “You can’t trust folk songs.  They always sneak up on you.”  (pg. 67)

 

    “We ought to be getting on,” she said.

    “Oh, I’m fed up with broomsticks,” said Nanny.  “More than a couple of hours on a stick and I’ve gone rigid in the dairy air.”

    She looked expectantly at the other two.  “That foreign for bum,” she added.  “Although, it’s a funny thing, in some foreign parts ‘bum’ means ‘tramp’ and ‘tramp’ means ‘hobo’.  Funny things, words.”  (pg. 101)

 

“Openny vous, gunga din, chop-chop, pretty damn quick.”  (pg. 76)

    There’s never anything to quibble about in a Terry Pratchett novel, and that holds true in Witches Abroad.  There is a sprinkling of mild cussing in the text, but I only counted five instances in the first third of the book.

 

    If the Discworld witches aren’t your favorite set of characters, you might be slightly disappointed.  Sam Vimes and the rest of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch are absent, ditto for the Librarian (ook!) and any of the wizards.  But there are zombies, vampires, familiars, and a voodoo practitioner to keep you turning the pages.  The character DEATH also pops up from time to time, although he doesn’t have much of an impact on the plotline.

 

    If you’ve never read any Discworld novels, this is as good of a starting point as any, although I’d say that about a couple dozen other books in the series.  The pacing is quick in Witches Abroad, and there’s lots of wordplay, humor, action, and keen Pratchett-inspired insight to keep you entertained.

 

    8½ Stars.  One quick example of the wordplay in Witches Abroad:  One of the characters, a little short fellow intent on wooing Nanny Ogg, is named Casanunda.  It took me an embarrassing amount of time to realize that that’s the opposite of the name Casanova.

Reaper Man - Terry Pratchett

   1991; 353 pages.  New Author? : No.  Book 11 (out of 41) in the “Discworld” series; Book 2 (out of 5) in the “Death” sub-series.  Laurels: 126^th in The Big Read (the top 200 books all-time in the UK).  Genres: Satire; Humorous Fantasy.  Overall Rating : 9½*/10.

 

    You know him.  The Grim Reaper.  Death personified.  Black robe, black hood, nasty-looking scythe.  He’s been around forever.  You don't want to meet up with him.  They say death and taxes are the only two sure things in life.

 

    But maybe the only certainty is taxes.  Because somehow, DEATH has just been forcibly retired.  Apparently his superiors, whoever they may be, are alarmed about his recent behavior.  Lately, DEATH has started to contemplate things.  Existential stuff.  Life and whatnot.  He’s developed a personality.  That interferes with his job performance.  Plus there have been other irregularities.  It’s time to replace him someone less irregular.  A new Grim Reaper.

 

    So see ya later, DEATH.  Time to ship you out to pasture.  Have fun finding out how other species – such as mortals – live out their brief lives.  Good luck on finding another job somewhere.

 

    Like on Discworld.

 

What’s To Like...

    Reaper Man is another fantastic novel in Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series, which placed fourteen of its books in the “Top 200” of something called The Big Read, a survey carried out in 2003 by the BBC to determine the best-loved novel of all time.  Reaper Man finished at #126, and is a brilliant blend of satire, humor, and keen insight into the deeper subject of our mortality.

 

    As usual, there are a bunch of storylines to follow.  DEATH does indeed find a job on Discworld, as a hired hand on a farm, where his ability to swing a scythe is a significant asset.  We also follow the afterlife misadventures of the wizard Windle Poons, who was so looking forward to experiencing reincarnation and investigate the mysterious proliferation of snow globes and shopping baskets. Then there are all those rocks and other inanimate objects that suddenly fly up from the ground and float in the air. Add in some pesky cusswords that breed, and you have just the right amount of plotlines to keep you turning the pages.

 

    Windle Poons and DEATH are the main protagonists, and this may be the story that introduces a character called The Death of Rats, and his lesser-known “mini-me” cohort, The Death of Fleas.  The wizards of the Unseen University play a major role here, which means lots of witty dialogue and plenty of magical bumbling.  I was also happy to see my favorite Discworld being, The Librarian, have a sizable role.  Oook!

 

    It was fun to watch DEATH experience his first hangover, and enlightening to learn how One-Man-Bucket got his name.  I liked Mrs. Cake, a true clairvoyant, but who can only “see” ten seconds into the future.  The talking mayflies were neat, albeit short-lived, and things like hemogoblins, anti-crimes, and autocondimentors just added to the zaniness.  Now if I could only get someone to teach me how to do the “Morris dance”.

 

    The ending was poignant, thought-provoking, and left a bit of a lump in my throat, which is rare for a Discworld tale.  All the major plotlines are tied up, although some of the secondary ones carry over into further installments.  Once again there are lots of hilarious footnotes and zero chapter divisions, which is the norm for Discworld books.  Reaper Man is both a standalone novel and part of a 41-book series.

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Apposite (adj.): apt in the circumstance, or in relation to something.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.7*/5, based on 2,151 ratings.

    Goodreads: 4.24*/5, based on 92,504 ratings and 2,997 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    Something wonderful, if you took the long view, was about to happen.

    If you took the short or medium view, something horrible was about to happen.

    It’s like the difference between seeing a beautiful new star in the winter sky and actually being close to the supernova.  It’s the difference between the beauty of morning dew on a cobweb and actually being a fly.  (pg. 35)

 

    The wizards said that, as followers of the light of wisdom, they owed allegiance to no mortal man.

    The Patrician said that this may well be true but they owed a city tax of two hundred dollars per head per annum, payable quarterly.

    The wizards said that the University stood on magical ground and was therefore exempt from taxation and anyway you couldn’t put a tax on knowledge.

    The Patrician said you could.  It was two hundred dollars per capita; if per capita was a problem, de-capita could be arranged.

    The wizards said that the University had never paid taxes to the civil authority.

    The Patrician said he was not proposing to remain civil for long.  (pg. 82)

 

“Tell someone you’re dead and they look at you as if they’ve seen a ghost.”  (pg. 125)

    Finding something to quibble about in a Discworld novel is always a tough task, but here goes.

 

    There’s a small amount of cussing in Reaper Man (only 8 instances in the first half of the book), and even then it’s limited to the milder epithets, including the cleverly polytheistic adjective: “godsdamn”.

 

    There are a couple of literary plugs for Terry Pratchett’s book The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents, which is amazingly prescient, since it came out in 2001, ten years after Reaper Man was published.  But I read the HarperTorch edition, which came out in 2002, and I suspect they made the sly insertions.

 

    Finally, there were a couple of typos, which is rare for a published book: on/an, anymore/any more, and a weird “Δ60” notation on page 122.  I’m guessing that’s some sort of esoteric shorthand in publishing lingo.

 

    So much for nitpicking.  IMHO, Reaper Man is one of the top books in Terry Pratchett's superlative Discworld series, and is comedic fantasy at its finest.  I highly recommend it, and the entire series for that matter, to any and all.

 

    9½ Stars.  One last note.  There is a bit of a love story in Reaper Man, which is a rare occurrence in a Discworld novel.  It was partly responsible for the lump in my throat at the end of the book, and demonstrates just how versatile of a writer Terry Pratchett was.

Thief of Time - Terry Pratchett

   2001; 357 pages.  New Author? : No.  Book 26 (out of 41) in the “Discworld” series.  Genre : Satire; Humorous Fantasy; Time Travel.  Laurels: 152^nd in The Big Read (the top 200 books all-time in the UK); Locus Award nominee (2002).  Overall Rating : 9*/10.

    Time.  The fourth dimension, according to some; the eighteenth to others.  Like the other dimensions, it can be stretched, sped up, stopped, diced-&-sliced, and even rearranged.  Most humans don’t even notice this.  We say things like, “it seems like only yesterday” or “where does the time go” or “the meeting today went on forever” without realizing that those phenomena are really occurring.

    On Discworld a mystical brotherhood called the History Monks are charged with making sure Time runs smoothly.  A tweak here, a cut-&-paste there, and let's make sure that tomorrow happens according the great cosmic plan.  But actually the main task of the History Monks is to see that tomorrow happens at all.

    Jeremy Clockson is a clockmaker; hands down the best one around.  He’s just received the most lucrative order and greatest challenge of his career: to build a clock made entirely of glass.  It’s never been done before, because no one could figure out how to make one key part – the clock's spring – out of anything but metal.  But if there's anyone who can get around that obstacle, it’s Jeremy.

    According to legend, a clock made entirely out of glass would allow you to capture Time herself.  That would be a neat trick, but dangerous.  Because if you caged up Time in such a device, and then it broke, Time would stop.

    Forever.

What’s To Like...

    Thief of Time is Terry Pratchett’s playful examination of the dimension of Time.  Various characters can go tripping around in it, and the History Monks are adept at regulating it.  If you like Time Travel science fiction novels, you’ll love Thief of Time.

    As usual, there are multiple storylines smoothly blended together.  A shadowy group called “the Auditors” hire Jeremy to build a super-accurate clock, but their reasons are shrouded in secrecy.  Susan, the granddaughter of Death, is charged with stopping Jeremy’s project, although not really told why.  The neophyte Lobsang Ludd is going to learn the mystical “Way of Mrs. Cosmopilite”, but his guru is the monastery's lowly janitor.  Nobody’s sure who Lady LeJean is, let alone what she is.  And when Armageddon looms, it’s time for the Five Horsemen of the Apocalypse to saddle up and ride, even if they’d just as soon not.

   There are several riddles and puzzles to figure out: What is the name of the Fifth Horseman of the Apocalypse, what is “Rule #1”, and what the Lu-Tze’s “Fifth Surprise”?   The book is written in typical Terry Pratchett style: lots of wit, lots of magic, a fair amount of footnotes, and several semi-serious topics to muse upon, such as the end of the world, which is scheduled for next Wednesday, and not even Death himself can stop it.

    You’ll meet an enlightened yeti (which is kinda redundant, since all of them are enlightened), learn what to do when there’s a Time Leak, and become aware of the Zen-ness of the phrase “I was not born yesterday.”  You’ll also discover that Time is not just a dimension; she’s also a being who once had a son.  The title reference is given on page 351, and for the ladies, there’s even a hint of Romance between Lobsang and Susan. 

    The ending is satisfying: the world is saved (come on, that’s not a spoiler, there are fifteen books in the series after this one), the riddles are solved, all the plot threads are tied up, and most, but not all, of the characters live to see another day.  Thief of Time is a standalone novel, as well as part of the always fantastic Discworld series.

 Kewlest New Word ...

Played Hob With (v., phrase) : caused disruptions (for someone or something).

Others: Oleaginous (adj.).

Excerpts...

    As a hobby, mountains appeal to those people who in normal circumstances are said to have a great deal of time on their hands.  Lu-Tze had no time at all.  Time was something that largely happened to other people; he viewed it in the same way that people on the shore viewed the sea.  It was big and it was out there, and sometimes it was an invigorating thing to dip a toe into, but you couldn’t live in it all the time.  Besides, it made his skin wrinkle.  (pg. 41)

    “The poet Hoha once dreamed he was a butterfly, and then he awoke and said, ‘Am I a man who dreamed he was a butterfly, or am I a butterfly dreaming he is a man?” said Lobsang, trying to join in.

    “Really?” said Susan briskly.  “And which was he?”

    “What?  Well … who knows?”

    “How did he write his poems?” said Susan.

    “With a brush, of course.”

    “He didn’t flap around making information-rich patterns in the air or laying eggs on cabbage leaves?”

    “No one ever mentioned it.”

    “Then he was probably a man,” said Susan.  (pg. 250)

“After everyone panics, there’s always got to be someone to tip the wee out of the shoe.”  (pg. 321 )

    It’s hard to nitpick about anything in Thief of Time.  There’s a smattering of cussing – a few damns and a couple hells – but that’s about average for any Discworld book.  There are no chapters, but there are lots of scene-shifts, so you can always find a convenient place to stop.  An Igor plays a fairly prominent role in the story, and they always talk with a lithp.  That can get old after a while, but hey, it’s not nice to thay thingth about the way other people thpeak.

    Thief of Time is a "one-off" book in this series in that its setting is unique, and most of the characters are new.  Sam Vimes and the Night Watch are completely absent, and the only witch is Nanny Ogg, whose part in the story is rather small.  Susan and Lu-Tze show up in one or two other Discworld tales, and Lobsang is unusual in that he makes a “jump” after this book to the Terry Pratchett/Stephen Baxter Long Earth collaborative series.

    9 Stars.  Thief of Time was rated #152 in the BBC-sponsored poll “The Big Read”, taken in 2000 to determine what British readers felt were the best-loved novels of all time.  More than 750,000 votes were cast, and you can see the results here.  Fifteen of Terry Pratchett’s Discworld novels are ranked in the top 200.   That is both incredible and well-deserved.  If you’ve never read a Discworld book, this is as good of a place to start as any.

Lords and Ladies - Terry Pratchett

   1992; 281 pages.  Book #14 (out of 41) in Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series; Book #4 (out of 6) in the “Witches” sub-series.  New Author? : No.  Genre : Humorous Fantasy; Satire; Humorous Fiction.  Overall Rating : 10*/10.

    Yippee!  We’re going to a wedding, and not just any old affair.  It’s gonna be a royal wedding.  King Verence II of Lancre is getting married to Magrat Garlick.  It’s a good pairing.  Verence used to be court jester; now he’s the king, and pretty new to the job.  Magrat is a witch in good standing with her peers, Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg, but she’ll be leaving that vocation for a more lucrative one: Queen of Lancre.

    They’re both good people, but without doubt there’ll be an adjustment period.  Verence knows little about women in general, and Magrat has zero training in how a queen is supposed to act.  She’ll need to learn to let others do everything for her, and how to use the “Royal One”.  You know: “One wishes that one’s feet could have one’s socks put on them by someone.”  Forsooth.

    This is going to be a huge occasion.  All sorts of people from all sorts of places on Discworld will be attending.  The wizards will send some of their foremost members, and of course, Magrat’s witchy colleagues will be there as well.  There’ll be delegations of dwarfs and trolls, and lots of family and friends.

    Unfortunately, there are rumors that some wedding-crashers are on their way.  Elves.  Nasty, icky, uppity, unwelcome elves.  Including one who is particularly hostile to Verence and Magrat: the elvish queen, and who views Lancre as her own rightful territory and isn’t in a sharing mood.  To be fair, the two realms do coexist in the same multidimensional time/space "continuinuinuum".

    And as any beekeeper can tell you, there can only be one outcome when two queens are buzzing around in a single hive.  One of them must be eliminated.

What’s To Like...

    Lords and Ladies is Terry Pratchett’s spoof of Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream.  I read another take-off of this play earlier this year; which is reviewed here.  Coincidentally, I saw that play many years ago, also done in a spoofy style, and it was hilarious.

    The wizards, the Librarian (Oook!), and the witches all get star billing here, which for me was a real delight.  I enjoyed being introduced to a bunch of Nanny Ogg’s family; I don’t recall meeting them before.  And I was astounded to learn that Granny Weatherwax and Archchancellor Ridcully have a “history”.

    Terry Pratchett weaves several storylines together in his usual deft style.  The central story is Magrat’s coping with the upcoming nuptials, but of equal importance is the breach in the barrier between our world and that of the elves, the latter being euphemistically referred to as the titular "Lords and Ladies".  We also watch Granny Weatherwax come to grips with her own mortality: she’s growing older and more fragile, all the while having to contend with younger, stronger, upstart rivals.  Meanwhile, on a lighter note, Nanny Ogg has to deal with a small-in-stature, enamored suitor who won’t take “no” for an answer.

    Lords and Ladies is written in the usual Pratchett format, which means there are no chapters, lots of witty footnotes, and humor aplenty.  There is an Author’s Note at the start of the book, wherein those who aren’t reading the Discworld series in order (that includes me) are given a helpful backstory of the characters and events leading up to this.

    Multiverses and Schrodinger’s Cat are again present; Quantum Physics is a recurring theme in Discworld novels.  Other highlights include henges, crop circles, the much-coveted dried frog pills, The Long Man, a cameo appearance by DEATH, and, on a more personal level, agrochemicals.  I work for an agrochemical company.

    The ending is satisfying, witty, and suitably twisty.  Everyone gets their just desserts, for better or for worse.  There is even a semblance of an epilogue at the very end (not an easy thing to do when there are no chapters), and I thought it was a perfect way to close.

Kewlest New Word. . .

Garderobe (n.) : a small storeroom in a medieval building, used for safekeeping clothes or other valuables.  Also, the lavatory in a medieval building.

Others : Incunibles (n., plural, and slightly misspelled); Chicane (n.); Mackko (adj., huh?)

Excerpts...

    “Halt!  Who Goes There?” he said.

    A ringing voice came up from below.

    “It’s me, Shawn.  Your Mum.”

    “Oh, hello, Mum.  Hello, Mistress Weatherwax.”

    “Let us in, there’s a good boy.”

    “Friend or Foe?”

    “What?”

    “It’s what I’ve got to say, Mum.  It’s official.  And then you’ve got to say Friend.”

    “I’m your mum.”

    “You’ve got to do it properly, Mum,” said Shawn, in the wretched tones of one who knows he’s going to lose no matter what happens next, “otherwise what’s the point?”

    “It’s going to be Foe in a minute, my lad.”  (pg. 108)

    “The thing about elves is they’ve got no … begins with m.”  Granny snapped her fingers irritably.

    “Manners?”

    “Hah!  Right, but no.”

    “Muscle?  Mucus?  Mystery?”

    “No.  No.  No.  Means like … seein’ the other person’s point of view.”

    Verence tried to see the world from a Granny Weatherwax perspective, and suspicion dawned.

    “Empathy?”

    “Right.”  (pg. 117)

 “Chateau Maison?  Chat-eau … that’s foreign for cat’s water, you know.  (pg. 176)

    This is yet another Discworld novel that I can’t find anything to quibble or gripe about.  I think that the late 80’s and early 90’s were the Golden Era of Pratchett’s writing:  in addition to Lords and Ladies and several other stellar Discworld novels in this period, he also co-authored Good Omens with Neil Gaiman (in 1990), and which will shortly be released as a movie.

    Overall, Lords and Ladies seemed a bit darker in tone than the other Discworld books written during this time in Pratchett's career.  Perhaps that presaged the tone of his later books in this series.  It seemed like more characters got killed than normal; that isn’t a negative, just an insight.  And my hat’s off to anyone who can make elves and unicorns into terrifying creatures.

    10 Stars.  Highly recommended.  The stack of Discworld books on my TBR shelf has dwindled to about a half dozen, and I’m going to be pretty bummed when they've all been read.