Eleven On Top - Janet Evanovich

    2005; 283 pages.  Book 11 (out of 31, soon to be 32) in the “Stephanie Plum” series.  New Author? : No.  Genre : Crime-Humor; Women Sleuths; Beach Read.  Overall Rating : 8½*/10.

 

    Stephanie Plum has quit her bounty hunting job!  She didn’t even give a two-weeks notice, she just walked in Cousin Vinnie’s bail bond office and turned in her handcuffs.

 

    Stephanie’s tired.  Tired of stalked by crazed killer, taunted by naked fat men, shot at, spat at, cussed at, and having her cars destroyed at an alarming rate.  She’s going to find a job with a lot less stress, a lot less violence, and hopefully a bit more pay.  It shouldn’t be too hard to find such a job, right?

 

    Right.  Well, her first new job was at a button factory, where she got fired on the first day for not showing up on time.  The second job was at Kan Klean, a dry-cleaning place and was similarly brief, due to Steph’s dispute with the owner.  The third job, at a fast-food called Cluck-in-a-Bucket, where employees are required to say “Have a clucky day” as customers depart, also canned her.  For burning down the place.

 

    Hmm.  Stephanie’s job history is turning into a nightmare.  I can’t wait to see how her fourth try at new employment turns out.

 

What’s To Like...

    Eleven On Top is the first book where Stephanie Plum isn’t working as a bounty hunter for her cousin Vinnie.  It was kinda neat to see her out on her own.  It’s not a spoiler to reveal that her friend and coworker Lula gets promoted to the vacant bounty hunter job, and it was fun to watch her step into Stephanie’s shoes.

 

    As usual for this series, the plotlines quickly multiply.  Steph finds herself being stalked by an unknown psychopath.  Four local, middle-aged men jump in their cars and simply disappear.  Stephanie’s sister Valerie is getting married and Steph’s been tabbed to be both the maid of honor and the music maestro—playing a cello solo.  The problem is she’s never played a cello in her life, but how hard can it be?  Last but not least, the Steph-Ranger-Morelli romance triangle continues to keep all three participants on edge.

 

    There is a plethora of characters to meet and greet; many new, many recurring.  Newly promoted Lula gets lots of ink; so do Grandmas Mazur and Bella.  The action starts right away as Stephanie finds notes and explosives presented to her by her stalker.

 

    The story is once again told in the first-person POV: Stephanie’s.  Eleven On Top was published in 2005, and some objects, such as phone books, landline phones, Tastykakes, and the Fosbury Flop, remind the readers of things which were once commonplace, whose glory days are long gone.

 

    The ending is exciting and twisty-yet-logical.  I knew a plot twist was coming, but it still surprised me (and Stephanie) how and when it unfolded.  The timing of some of the climactic events seemed a bit convenient, but hey, Stephanie has always had luck on her side.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.6/5 based on 8,874 ratings and 983 reviews.

    Goodreads: 4.17/5 based on 117,862 ratings and 2,539 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    “You were different,” he said to Valerie.  “I mean, you had a reason for being a dope.  Well, not a dope actually.  I don’t mean to say you were a dope.  Okay, you might have been a little dopey.  No, wait, I don’t mean that either.  Not dopey or dope or any of those things.  Okay, okay, just a teensy bit dopey, but in a good way, right?  Dopey can be good.  Like dumb blond dopey.  No, I don’t mean that either.  I don’t know where that came from.  Did I say that?  I didn’t say that, did I?”  (pg. 90)

 

    “Now that I’m a bounty hunter I’ve got a lot of demands on my time.  I’ve got a real nasty case that I’m working on.  I should be out tracking this guy down right now, only I figured I could take a break from it and help you out.”

    “What kind of case is it?” Val asked.

    “He’s wanted for AR and PT,” Lula said.  “That’s bounty hunter shorthand for armed robbery and public tinkling.  He held up a liquor store and then took a leak in the domestic table wines section.”  (pg. 108)

 

Kindle Details…

    The Kindle version of Eleven On Top presently costs $9.99 at Amazon.  The other e-books in the series range in price from $5.99 to $9.99, with the exception of Book 30, Dirty Thirty, which is discounted to $2.99 for a limited time.

 

“I’m not a cakeaholic”. (. . .) “I only eat cake on special occasions.”  Like Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday . . .  (pg. 204)

    The cussword frequency is moderate in Eleven On Top, I counted 15 instances in the first 10%, mostly of the milder ilk. Later on a couple f-bombs show up.  There were also four rolls-in-the-hay, with one being a tripleheader.  None of them were rendered in graphic terms.

 

    I can’t think of anything to quibble about.  I didn’t spot any typos.  There was no progress on Stephanie’s romantic quandary, but hey, do we really want those tense relationships to be resolved?

 

    Eleven On Top is a fast-paced, action-packed blend of humor and crime-solving, with just enough romance blended in to attract the female readers without scaring off the male readers.  So far, I’ve been reading the series in chronological order, and the next book, Twelve Sharp, is on my Kindle awaiting my attention.

 

    8½ Stars.  One last thing.  For those who keep count of these things:  *Total cars trashed* during Stephanie’s sleuthing: Two.  About average for her.

Schrodinger's Gat - Robert Kroese

    2012; 206 pages.  New Author? : No.  Genres : Science Fiction; Quantum Physics.  Overall Rating: 6*/10.

 

    For Paul Bayes, the time has come to pack it in.  Or as Shakespeare would say: it’s time to shuffle off this mortal coil.  He’s divorced, his kids dislike him, and he’s discovered he’s a crappy writer.

    He’s now at the San Leandro BART train station, and the next local train is about to arrive.  People are milling around, trying to get a primo spot for getting on the train.  Paul intends to jump onto the tracks in front of the train as it approaches.  Death should be swift.

 

    Fair is fair, though.  Paul allows Fate to give him an out.  He flips a coin.  Heads, he stays on the landing platform.  Tails, he jumps.  Luck is with him, the coin comes up tails.

 

    But as he starts to prepare to jump, a girl nearby—a very pretty, nearby girl—cries out “No!”, and Paul comes to a stop.  Did the girl know he was about to commit suicide?  If so, how?  Is she psychic?  A guardian angel?  Inquiring suicidal minds want to know.

 

    But now she’s running away!  If he wants answers, Paul’s going to have to chase her down.

 

What’s To Like...

    Schrodinger’s Gat is an ambitious merging of an Action-Intrigue tale with Quantum Physics.  Quantum Physics is a bunch of weird phenomena that take place at the sub-atomic level.  In Schrodinger’s Gat, Robert Kroese imagines what it would be like if those weird phenomena could occur at our everyday level.

 

    If you’re unfamiliar with Quantum Physics, don’t despair.  When some new weird phenomenon is introduced, such as the “Double Slit Experiment”, the author cuts away to a scholastic explanation of it, and even bookmarks the beginning and end of the discourse should you wish to avoid such sciencey stuff.

 

    In addition, there's a clever Mythological aspect to the story, courtesy of an ancient Greek goddess named Ananke.  She's the personification of inevitability and compulsion, otherwise called “determinism”.  The central theme in Schrodinger’s Gat is “Free Will versus Determinism”, and it is fun to watch how our protagonist, Paul Bayes, struggles to come to grips with this.  For instance, if everything in this world is predetermined, and you commit actions that will cause harm or death to others, are you really guilty? 

 

    The story stops at a logical spot, with the friction generated by Free Will vs. Determinism leading to a major calamity.  The major plot threads remain unresolved, implying that a sequel will follow.  But as of now, I don’t think the author has any plans for that.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 3.8*/5, based on 321 ratings and 150 reviews.

    Goodreads: 3.55*/5, based on 460 ratings and 73 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    “The blue pill isn’t really working for me, in case you hadn’t noticed.  What’s the worst that could happen?  You tell me I’m actually a brain in a vat in a laboratory on Mars?  Because that’s a step up from where I’m sitting.”  I’m exaggerating, of course.  Finding out I was a brain in a vat would be pretty devastating.  And of course I don’t really think she’s going to tell me that.  But I get the feeling she’s trying to play Morpheus to my Neo, so I play along.  (pg. 13)

 

    “My point is that it is possible to duplicate quantum indeterminacy—true randomness—on a macro level.  Like with Schrodinger’s cat.  Some physicists believe there’s no reason you couldn’t actually carry out Schrodinger’s thought experiment and have an actual cat that is both dead and alive.  Well, there’s one reason, I suppose.”

    The ASPCA?”

    She laughs.  “That too.  But I was thinking of the fact that the cat would have to be cooled to near absolute zero.”  (pg. 25)

 

Kindle Details…

    The Kindle version of Schrodinger’s Gat presently costs $4.99 at Amazon.  Robert Kroese has dozens of other e-books for your reading pleasure, primarily in sci-fi and fantasy genres.  Most of them sell for $4.99, with a few discounted to $0.99.

 

Death has its drawbacks, but it’s a pretty good excuse for missing appointments.  (pg. 45)

    I counted 22 instances of profanity in the first 5% of Schrodinger’s Gat, which I’d label excessive.  To be fair though, the frequency of cussing seemed to tail off after that.  I don’t recall any adult situations, although I would expect any sequel to have a romantic development betwixt Paul and Tali, the beautiful girl who interrupted his suicide endeavor.

 

    There were a few typos in the text, such as peer/pier, past/passed, big/bit, a prior/a priori, and build/built, but they were infrequent enough to not be a distraction.

 

    The main issue that I, and lots of other reviewers, have with Schrodinger’s Gat are the excessive scientific sermons about Quantum Physics.  Kudos to Robert Kroese for trying to blend scholarly science with thrills-&-spills.  Unfortunately, it just didn’t work.

 

    Without those Quantum Physics interludes, Schrodinger’s Gat is a novella-length quick and interesting read.  It would’ve been nice to have it lengthened by more Paul and Tali having further adventures including facing off against Ananke.  Maybe that can be addressed in a sequel.

 

    6 Stars.  One last thing.  One of my favorite Quantum Physics conundrums, called “the grandfather paradox” gets mentioned here.  It can be succinctly described as “what happens if you travel back in time  and assassinate your own grandfather?”  Since time-travel, both forward and backward, is predicted in Quantum Physics, this is something to think about when it’s 3 o clock in the morning and you can’t sleep.

Starter Villain - John Scalzi

    2023; 268 pages.  New Author? : No.  Genres : Humorous Science Fiction; Genetic Engineering; Intrigue-Satire.  Overall Rating: 8*/10.

 

    Uncle Jake has died!

 

    That means little to his nephew, Charlie Fitzer.  Uncle Jake had had nothing to do with the rest of the Fitzer family for the last few years.

 

    But Uncle Jake was very rich—he owned the third largest corporation that managed parking structures throughout the world.  And the lower class Fitzers were not worthy of his presence.

 

    So it was a bit surprising when one of his employees, Mathilda Morrison, called Charlie and asked if he would oversee Uncle Jake’s funeral service.  Which he agreed to do, since Uncle Jake apparently had no family.  And initially, things went smoothly at the funeral service.

 

    Until one of the guests took out a knife and started stabbing Uncle Jake’s corpse.

 

What’s To Like...

    Starter Villain is a standalone novel that is equal parts science-fiction, intrigue, and satire.  It’s not a spoiler to reveal that Uncle Jake also was part of a “Supervillain Cartel”, into which Charlie might be invited as a replacement, provided he proves himself worthy and willing.

 

    This might sound like a bum deal, but Charlie is a divorced, part-time substitute teacher, and lives from paycheck to paycheck.  His roommate is a pet cat.  It might be a good career move for Charlie to become a "starter villain".  Besides, “Hero” and “Villain” are relative terms.  What one person might call a crime, another might call an opportunity!

 

    Only John Scalzi would take a standard thriller storyline like that and blend a genetic engineering plot thread into it.  Thus we encounter typewriting cats; unionizing, smart-alecky dolphins; and sentient whales of questionable loyalty.  That may sound wacky, but Scalzi makes it work hilariously well.

 

    The “villain” aspect of the tale is also masterfully done.  The classic “Honor among thieves” adage doesn’t apply if there’s money to be made by double-dealing.  And the higher up the crime corporation ladder you are, the greater the odds that other crime boxes will conspire to take you down by taking you out.

 

    The ending is suitably exciting, over-the-top, and comes with several plot twists that I didn’t foresee.  The last chapter is an epilogue that ties up several plot threads.  Things close with a bonus short story that reveals "what happens after" with one of the main characters.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.5*/5, based on 15,847 ratings and 999 reviews.

    Goodreads: 4.11*/5, based on 105,255 ratings and 16,311 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    “Being a villain,” I said.

    “I told you, we don’t use that word in public.”

    “I don’t see why not.  It’s a perfectly good word.”

    “For public use it’s reductive,” Morrison said.  “Privately it offers some advantages.  Which you will be finding out soon.  But you won’t be doing much villainy anyway.  You’re needed for something else entirely.”

    I nodded.  “Useful idiot.”

    “I was going to say ‘administration.’”  (pg. 74)

 

    “Let’s start with what you call yourself,” I suggested.

    The dolphin chittered, and there was silence from the voice box.  “It doesn’t translate,” the dolphin said.  “It derives from hydrological states of water humans don’t experience directly and don’t have simple words for.  It would be something like ‘the one who can find a pure thread of water through the murk of an alluvial discharge into a bay.’”

    “You could go by ‘Ally’ for short,” I said.

    “Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you were asking me my name, not trying to figure out something short and infantilizing that you could call me.”  (pg. 112)

 

Kindle Details…

    The Kindle version of Starter Villain presently costs $11.99 at Amazon.  John Scalzi has several dozen other e-books for you, almost all of them in the Sci-Fi genre.  They generally are priced in the $4.99-to-$14.99 range.  He also offers several sci-fi short stories; those are mostly in the free-to-$2.99 range.

 

“Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.”  (pg. 165)

    The cussing in Starter Villain is moderate.  I noted 48 instances in the first half of the book, with f-bombs being the favorite cussword.  Later on, the waving of male genitalia is mentioned.  Meanwhile, the dolphins have coined their own disparaging phrases, such as f*cknugget, scrotemonkey, and bourgeois fistula.  I am in awe of their epithet inventing.

 

    I can’t think of anything else to nitpick about.  The pacing was good, there were plenty of plot twists, the blend of humor and intrigue was spot-on, and the genetic engineering and situational business ethics aspects give you something to muse about.  Sadly, I don’t think John Scalzi has any plans to develop this into a series.

 

    8 Stars.  One last thing.  At one point Rutgers University is mockingly referred to as the “Big Ten Doormat”.  The designation is justified, but I used to have a workmate who was a Rutgers alumnus.  He preferred to view the school as having the proper perspective regarding Sports and Academics.  The latter takes priority over the former.  I happen to agree with him.

The Inimitable Jeeves - P.G. Wodehouse

    1923; 281 pages.  New Author? : No.  Genres : Anthologies; British Humour; Classic Literature.  Overall Rating : 8½*/10.

 

    Allow me to introduce myself.  My name is Bertie Wooster and I’ll be your narrator of the stories in The Inimitable Jeeves.

 

    Jeeves is my valet, and serves me well.  He’s a very quiet person, but when asked, will offer a lot of helpful advice when my joie de vivre (as the French say) is being tested.  Yes, I speak French.  It is an inherent part of my Upper-Class social status.

 

     Jeeves and I make a fine team as I wend my way through the complex social circles of the titled peers of London.  I contribute the leadership and intellectual qualities necessary and Jeeves supplements this with his fine acumen of social decorum.

 

    Hmm.  Jeeves just heard me say that and rolled his eyes.  I wonder why.

 

What’s To Like...

    The Inimitable Jeeves  is a collection of eleven short stories from P.G. Wodehouse’s “Jeeves and Wooster” series.  All were previously published in magazines in 1918-1922, then cleverly stitched together to make a novel-length book that came out in 1923.  The majority of the stories take place in London, but there are also trips to France and New York City cleverly blended in.  It was fascinating to watch Jeeves and Bertie in those foreign locales.

 

    The main theme explored in The Inimitable Jeeves is True Love.  Bertie’s childhood friend, Bingo Little, repeatedly falls into this sad state (see the second excerpt below), but it happens occasionally to Bertie himself (thanks to his Aunt Agatha), and once even to Jeeves.  Bertie’s cousins, Claude and Eustace, also fall hopelessly in love, but their problem is that they both become enamored by the same lass simultaneously.

 

    Romance is not the only theme in town.  Claude and Eustace are adept at talking Bertie into heavy wagering—they themselves are usually broke—on such things as “the Egg ‘n Spoon Race” and “the Great Sermon handicap”.  You can guess the outcome of Bertie’s wagering.

 

    Being a quasi-anthology, there isn’t really a distinct ending to The Inimitable Jeeves—just a final short story.  But it’s a good choice.  Bingo gets married; Bertie goes crazy; Jeeves saves the day; and everybody ends up happy.  To give details would entail spoilers.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.5/5 based on 3,987 ratings and 299 reviews.

    Goodreads: 4.20/5 based on 31,203 ratings and 2,548 reviews.

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Eftsoons (adv.) : soon afterward; shortly; once again (archaic).

Others: Mazzard (n.); Persiflage (n.); Vergers (n.); Ḕpris (adj.; French); Bally (adj.); Rummy (adj.).

 

Excerpts...

    “By great good luck I have found the very wife for you, a girl whom I have only recently met, but whose family is above suspicion.  She has plenty of money, too, though that does not matter in your case.  The great point is that she is strong, self-reliant and sensible, and will counterbalance the deficiencies and weaknesses of your character.  She has met you; and, while there is naturally much in you of which she disapproves, she does not dislike you.”  (loc. 695)

 

    “Oh, Great Scott! I said.  “Don’t tell me you’re in love again.”

    He seemed aggrieved.

    “What do you mean—again?”

    “Well, to my certain knowledge you’ve been in love with at least half a dozen girls since the spring, and it’s only July now.  There was that waitress and Honoria Glossop and —”

    “Oh, tush!  Not to say pish!  Those girls?  Mere passing fancies.  This is the real thing.”

    “Where did you meet her?”

    “On top of a bus.”  (loc. 1528)

 

Kindle Details…

    The main Kindle version (there are a number of options) of The Inimitable Jeeves is priced at $0.51 at Amazon right now.  Amazon markets it as part of a 16-book series labeled Jeeves & Wooster, but only nine of the 16 volumes are available in e-book format.  They range in price from free to $12.99.

 

It seems rummy that water should be so much wetter when you go into it with your clothes on than when you’re just bathing.  (loc. 827)

    As you’d expect from a 1923 humorous novel, the profanity in The Inimitable Jeeves is pretty light.  I counted just seven instances in the first third of the book; all of them of the milder ilk.  There are no f-bombs and no adult situations.  This is spoofery for the sake of comedy.

 

    The book is written in 1920s English, not American, and which I thoroughly enjoyed.  Some of the new (at least for me) words are given above; others included chemmy, coves, and chappie.  It’s always fun to learn a foreign language.

 

    The only quibble I can come up with is the page-numbering.  I read The Inimitable Jeeves on my Kindles—I have two of them—and both made a mess of the page counts.  My older Kindle simply refused to give pages and/or text locations.  My newer Kindle started counting pages about 75% of the way through the book.

 

    But I pick at nits.  This is my fifth “Jeeves” book (although the first since 2012), and I’ve enjoyed them all.  There’s something about wry British humor that tickles my funny bone, and P.G. Wodehouse excels at keeping me laughing out loud.

 

    8½ Stars.  One last thing.  P.G. Wodehouse also excels at coming up with scintillating character names.  Some used here are: Honoria Glossop, Daphne Braythwayt, Old Lord Bittlesham, Cyril Bassington-Bassington, Charlotte Rowbotham, and Cynthia Wickhammersby.  Are those fantastic appellations or what?!