Hope For the Best - Jodi Taylor

 

   2019; 461 pages.  Book 10 (out of 14) in the “Chronicles of St. Mary’s” series.  New Author? : No.  Genres: Time Travel; Humorous Fantasy; Historical Fiction.  Overall Rating: 9*/10.

 

    Madeleine “Max” Maxwell has been traded to the Time Police!

 

    Well okay, technically she’s been “seconded” to the Time Police, meaning St. Mary’s loaning Max to them for a while.  It’s sort of a goodwill gesture, aimed at improving the relationship between the two organizations.

 

    One of the weird things is that the Time Police office is based in the future, so Max gets to time-travel forward every time she goes to work.  How utterly kewl is that?!  But the bigger perk for Max is that she gets to be with her son, Matthew, who is being kept at the Time Police headquarters (“TPHQ”), protected by the Time Police from the evil bad guy, Clive Ronan.

 

    Looking after Matthew is not an easy job; see the second excerpt below.

 

What’s To Like...

    I enjoyed Max’s career move in Hope for the Best.  It seemed a nice way for Jodi Taylor to introduce the reader to her new “Time Police” series, the first book of which came out about five months after this one.

 

    It was interesting to watch Max and Captain Ellis learn to work as partners.  Their first adventure involves traveling to 16^th-century London to deal with a Temporal Anomaly.  The Time Police are there to “repair” the digression, even if that means using force.  St. Mary’s is there to record history.  Those differing motivations do not always mesh smoothly.

 

    Delightfully, there’s lots of time-jumping.  I counted ten chrono-hops, and that’s not including return jumps to St. Mary’s and/or TPHQ.  As usual, the book’s cover image gives a glimpse at two of those trips.  The smokestacks shown at the top are of the Battersea Power Station, as any fan of Pink Floyd’s “Animals” album will recognize.  We’ll let you wonder why the bottom image is simply a nest of eggs.

 

    It’s not a spoiler to reveal that two of my favorite characters in this series, Adrian and Mikey, play prominent roles in the storyline.  Grint the Grunt was also an interesting character, as were Hillary and Donald.  I chuckled at the mention of the sport of cheese-rolling on Cooper’s Hill, and liked learning why “Time is like a bluebell wood”.

 

    The ending is tense, twisty, and totally unexpected.  History is restored to its proper order, although not everybody at St. Mary’s, Max in particular, is happy about it.  The Time Police and St. Mary’s have a better understanding of each other, although I’d hardly call them bosom buddies.  Hope For the Best is both a part of a series and a standalone novel.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.7*/5, based on 5,408 ratings and 383 reviews.

    Goodreads: 4.32*/5, based on 7,706 ratings and 584 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    I knelt up to see better.

    Ellis pulled me down.  “Stay down.”

    “I can’t.  It’s my job.  I’m the historian.  I study historical events.  You’re the Time Police.  Go and count your crayons.”

    Someone behind me wondered aloud why they let me live.

    “I’ve no idea,” said Ellis.  “Perhaps she’ll come in handy one day.”

    “And if not?”  Was it my imagination or was there a hopeful note there?

    “Then you can kill her.”  (pg. 126)

 

    “Will you come and see me off?”

    “Of course.  Every wife always wants to know when her husband’s safely out of the picture.”

    “And I gather you’re on the move, too.”

    “Yes.  Because of what’s happening at St. Mary’s, Dr. Bairstow’s moved the schedule forwards.  I’m going back to TPHQ.”

    “Give my love to Matthew.  How’s he doing?”

    “He broke the Time Map.”

    “The boy’s a vandal.  He gets more like his mother every day.”

    “And then showed them how to put it right.”

    “The boy’s a genius.  He gets more like his father every day.”  (pg. 278)

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Firkling (v.) : searching; rummaging.

Others: Jellabiyas (n.).

 

I was well and truly up the River of Excrement and my canoe had no visible means of propulsion.  (pg. 352)

    The profanity is pretty sparse in Hope for the Best; I noticed just 11 instances in the first 20% of the book; all of which of the “milder” ilk.  Max pays a visit to a sex club late in the story, but it’s a rather tame experience.  I didn’t note any typos; so kudos to whoever the editor was.

 

    The series is written in British, not American; so there are a few weird words and spellings for us Yankee readers, including draughty, ploughed, ageing, and storeys.  I’m used to hoovering by now, but the abovementioned firkling stumped me.  Jellabiya is an Arabic term.

 

    That’s the nit-pickiest I can be with Hope for the Best.  It’s another fine time-travel tale with lots of wit, humor, thrills-&-spills, family drama, and, maybe best of all, historical fiction blended in.  I've yet to see any drop-off in the quality of the books in this series.

 

    9 Stars.  One last thing.  At one point our heroes come riding in on what is described as “TWOC’d horses”.  Say what?  That acronym stumped me, so I googled it.  It turns out TWOC stands for “Taken Without Owner’s Consent”. Now you know.

Lost Is The Night - Greg James

   2014; 174 pages.  Full Title: Lost Is The Night: A Grim Dark Fantasy Adventure.  Book 2 (out of 3) in the “Khale the Wanderer” series.  New Author? : No.  Genres: Dark Fantasy; Time Travel.  Overall Rating : 7½*/10.

 

    Khale the Wanderer is a stranger in a strange land.  He seeks only shelter for the night, and if luck is with him, yon castle will take pity on him and let him sleep in the stable.  The castle guard that is approaching him will hopefully not try to kill him.

 

    “Master Khale, you are welcome to Castle Barneth.”  The guard somehow knows who he is?  Khale’s self-preservation reflexes go on full alert.

 

    “Come with me, if it pleases you.  The feast is begun and Lord Barneth awaits your company.”  Khale's jaw drops.  He, a lowly traveler, is on the guest list?  Surely this is a trap of some sort.  Can things get any weirder?

 

    “The feast is in your honour, and you are missed.”

 

What’s To Like...

    Lost Is The Night is the continuation of the journey of Khale, a sort of “Conan the Barbarian” protagonist.  It is the sequel to Under A Colder Sun, which I read a couple years ago, and is reviewed here.

 

    Despite the feast being already underway, there are priorities.  Khale is caked with dirt and foul odors from his journeying, and requests a bath, which the steward of Castle Barneth readily arranges.  The bathing amenities include Cacea, a beautiful maiden who will do the scrubbing of Khale.  We’ll let you guess whether other services are offered.

 

    The main storyline involves the subsequent adventures of both Khale and Cacea.  The book’s subtitle, “A Grim Dark Fantasy Adventure”, is quite apt.  The fantasy in this book, and indeed, this series, is not lighthearted, nor intended for kids.  Lord Barneth’s sigil is a red wheel with a crucified victim on it.  The tone of the book reflects that.

 

    I enjoyed the gradual evolution of Khale’s character.  He started out in this series a total anti-hero, but here we are seeing him learning to care about others and about the role he plays in the events unfolding around him.  Does he get to make his own decisions when Thoughtless Dark stands before him?  Or is he simply a meat-and-bones puppet on strings, being manipulated by a higher power?

 

    The ending is appropriately grim and dark, highlighted by an exciting fight scene.  None of the plot threads are resolved, but hey, that’s presumably what the next and final book, Hordes of Chaos, is for.

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Goetic (adj.) : pertaining to black magic or necromancy.

Others: Xanthic (adj.); Foetor (n.); Benighted (adj.).

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.1*/5, based on 52 ratings and 16 reviews.

    Goodreads: 3.82*/5, based on 38 ratings and 5 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    “Good evening, Master Khale.  I am Bartell, his Lordship’s steward, and I will attend to your needs.”

    Khale looked him over.  Dressed in blue-green silks, he looked, for all the world, like an over-embroidered cushion.  The wrinkles in his face wept dry tears of perfumed powder.  When the man smiled falsely at him, the Wanderer saw familiar signs of a life spent eating too many sweetmeats and loqma cakes.

    Rotten on the inside, fragrant as morning on the outside.

    He could taste the sin hanging in the air around this one.  (loc. 180)

 

    Murtagh was speechless as the nightmare thing before him finished pouring the last traces of itself from the bowl where it had been in repose.  The elongated mass rushed at him, a tide of black quicksilver moving across the chamber in a single, sinuous motion that consumed the space between them.  Its lipless mouth opened and continued to open, becoming a gaping wound that muttered to itself in the language of decayed silt and haunted mires.  (loc. 1638)

 

Kindle Details…

    Lost Is The Night sells for $2.99 at Amazon right now.  The other two books in the series go for the same price.  Greg James has several other series and standalone e-books available on Amazon, ranging in price from $0.99 to $2.99.

 

“Slow and predictable,” Khale mocked.  “You fight with too much honour.”.  (loc. 608)

    Surprisingly, I only counted eight cusswords in the first 25% of Lost Is The Night, although five of those were f-bombs.  There are several rolls-in-the-hay and references to three variations of the act of intimacy.  The experience on the red wheel is left to the reader’s imagination but not the outcome.

 

    The editing was good; I espied only one typo, “bows” instead of “boughs”.  As already mentioned, this book takes place immediately after the first book, and there are numerous back-references to events therefrom, so I’d suggest reading this series in chronological order and gearing up that you’re committing to reading all three books in the series.

 

    Finally, keep in mind the books in this series are all short.  The longest book is the first, at a mere 214 pages, and they get progressively shorter as the series continues.

 

    Nonetheless, I enjoyed Lost Is The Night.  It’s a fast-paced action-adventure tale with no slow spots, and the “grim dark fantasy” phrase in the subtitle let me know what to expect as far as R-rated material goes.  I’m curious to see how Greg James manages to resolve all the plotlines in a mere 163 pages of the final book, and will try not to wait two years to read the sequel.

 

    7½ Stars.  One last thing.  You’ll notice “time-travel” is listed as a genre for Lost Is The Night.  When you come to the end of the last chapter, you may, as I did, wonder where the heck the Time Travel was.  Not to worry, you still have the Epilogue to read.

An Argumentation of Historians - Jodi Taylor

   2017; 467 pages.  Book 9 (out of 14) in the series “The Chronicles of St. Mary’s”.  New Author? : No.  Genres: Time Travel; Humorous Fantasy; Historical Fiction.  Overall Rating: 8½*/10.

 

    It’s sad that it took so long.

 

    The Institute of Historical Research at St. Mary’s and the chrono-hopping law enforcement agency known as the Time Police share a common foe: Clive Ronan.  But thus far, the two groups have done too much fighting between themselves to even think about going after Clive.

 

    Until now.  The head of St. Mary's History Department, “Max” Maxwell has come up with a plan.  It’s risky, and hinges on Ronan’s insatiable greed for historical treasures, but it just might work.  And St. Mary’s and the Time Police will both play key roles in it.  All they have to do is cooperate with each other.

 

    And hope that Clive Ronan takes the bait.

 

What’s To Like...

    An Argumentation of Historians is the ninth book in Jodi Taylor’s series showcasing the time-traveling adventures of St. Mary’s historians.  One of the many reasons I’m hooked on this series is that there are always a bunch of time-jumps in the stories, many involving historically fascinating events.

 

    This book is no exception; St. Mary’s personnel make six time-jumps, three of which are for historical witnessing and recording, including one centered on one of my history idols, Alexander the Great.  The other three are done for personal survival reasons including one extended visit to 1399 CE, where Max, along with the reader, learn how to live day-to-day in Medieval times.  It was an enlightening experience.

 

    The text is written in the first-person POV, Max’s.  It is also written in English, not American, which means we Yanks will encounter odd spellings, such as wilfully and pedlar, and odd words, such as knackered and swive.  I love learning foreign languages.  The “Author’s Note” at the book’s beginning is worth taking time to read, and as always, the Dramatis Thingummy is both useful and entertaining.

 

    It’s always a treat when Adrian and Mikey show up at St. Mary's in their 12-foot-high teapot.  The acronym FOD was new to me; it’s the term time-travelers use for the occupational peril "Foreign Object Drop".  The question of “do Medieval castle gate open inward or outward” is examined by St. Mary’s historians, and the reader learns why this is an important detail.  It was also educational to learn the specific duties of a courtesan.

 

    The ending is twisty (is there a traitor in our midst?), exciting (fighting on rooftops), tense (falling from rooftops), and revealing (how does Clive Ronan anticipate every move of St. Mary's).  In short, it is superb.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.7*/5, based on 6,260 ratings and 470 reviews.

    Goodreads: 4.52*/5, based on 8,645 ratings and 671 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    “You appear to be setting up a scenario in which you almost invite Clive Ronan to swoop in and shoot you.”

    “Yes, sir,”

    “You don’t think that’s a little — obvious?”

    I can’t help it.  I’m a showman, too.

    I brought up the second part of my plan.

    He read it through.  And read it through again.  And read it through for a final time.  I waited patiently because every reading was a step nearer acceptance.  Finally, he looked over his desk at me.

    “I might find it quite difficult to apply the word “unoriginal” to this part of your proposed plan.”

    “Thank you, sir.”

    “That wasn’t a compliment.”  (pg. 60)

 

    “I don’t want any visitors.”

    “Just as well,” she said cheerfully, laying out pyjamas and a dressing gown.  “You’re not allowed any.”

    I was unreasonably annoyed because that was supposed to be my decision.  “Who said so?”

    “Dr. Stone.  He’s waiting for you if you want to go out and argue with him.”

    I humphed.  I’ve argued with Dr. Stone before.  It’s like trying to fill a bath without a plug.  There’s an enormous amount of effort and when you finally pause to get your breath back, absolutely nothing has happened and you realise you’ve been wasting your time.  (pg. 360)

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Caparisoned (adj.) : decked out in rich, decorative coverings

Others: Swive (archaic).

 

You could have heard a slipper-wearing mouse dance the fandango on a feather cushion.  (pg. 129)

    The profanity is pretty sparse in An Argumentation of Historians, just 17 instances in the first 50% of the book, about half of which were the common scatological term.

 

    There was a smattering of typos, most of which were things I’d have thought Spellchecker would catch.  Examples include: top/stop, ever/every, and of/off.  I’ll excuse Spellchecker for missing the two spellings of one of the characters: Midgely/ Midgeley.

 

    But enough of the nitpicking.  An Argumentation of Historians maintains the usual high standards of a Jodi Taylor novel: fast-paced, action-packed, historically-detailed, and lots of time-traveling.  This was part of a ten-volume paperback bundle given to me as a Christmas present by a friend a few years back.  I’m 90% of the way through it and have never yet been disappointed.

 

    8½ Stars.  One last thing.  Here’s a poser for anyone who has time-traveling acquaintances.  What’s the best method of communicating with someone who lives in the future?  Answer in the comments.

And The Rest Is History - Jodi Taylor

   2016; 432 pages.  Book 8 (out of 14) in the series “The Chronicles of St. Mary’s”.  New Author? : No.  Genres: Time Travel; British Humor; Historical Adventure.  Overall Rating: 9½*/10.

 

    Clive Ronan is the biggest enemy that the Historians at St. Mary’s (don’t call them time-travelers!) have.  He routinely jumps through the security measures of St. Mary’s as if they weren’t even there.  And today is no exception.

 

    He apparently knows what jogging path his archenemy Dr. Maxwell (“Max”) uses, and has plopped himself on it.  Clive meets her as she comes trotting along, and has a surprising proposal for her: how about a truce?

 

    Naturally, Max is leery of it.  Neither one trusts the other, and both have good reason not to.  But she agrees to meet in a very open place of Clive’s choosing.  Namely, the Egyptian desert, 25 centuries in the past.  What’s the worst that could happen?

 

    Well, either party could arrange a double-cross.  Saharan desert storms can be killers.  The Time Police, who don’t particularly like St. Mary’s or Clive, could try killing two birds with one stone.  And the anthropomorphic muse called “History” might override everyone else’s plans in order to keep the correct timeline unchanged.  And you really, really don’t want to mess with History.

 

    But don’t call it Time Travel.

 

What’s To Like...

    And The Rest Is History is the eighth book in the Chronicles of St. Mary’s series by Jodi Taylor.  To no one’s surprise, the hastily arranged meeting betwixt Max and Clive runs amok immediately.  Clive feels that Max set him up, and vows revenge.  And if you’re reading this series in order (which I am), you know an angry Clive is a dangerous Clive.

 

    There is a pleasant balance of time travel and personal interaction ion the storyline.  Various St. Mary’s employees are in various relationships with coworkers, which can be a hazardous situation when you’re traipsing all over the historical timeline.  I like how Clive’s character is being developed; his “all black” persona is starting to turn just a bit “gray”.

 

    Once again, Jodi Taylor doesn’t skimp on the time-traveling.  The reader is treated to eight chrono-hops, including one to the future, one by others to St. Mary's, and several of them chronicling events leading up to the historically crucial Battle of Hastings in 1066 CE.  Yes, this is fiction, but it’s obvious the author did some deep research of the lives and aspirations of both Harold Godwinson and William of Normandy, and I learned a lot because of that.

 

    And The Rest Is History introduces three new characters to the series.  The first is Max and Leon’s son, Matthew.  The storyline hints that since he was born at an impossible time (due to his time-traveling parents) he has some very unusual talents.  Then there’s Adrian & Mikey, who reminded me muchly of Bill & Ted from their most excellent adventure movie.  They make only a cameo appearance here, but I have a feeling all three of these will play important and recurring parts in this series.

 

    The ending is, as always, exciting, historically enlightening, and spine-tingling.  St. Mary’s and the Time Police, who tolerate each other grudgingly at best, are forced to team up to carry out a rescue endeavor which turns out to be quite a gory affair.  Once the crisis is resolved, both agencies are more than happy to get back to their normal bickering and feuding.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.6*/5, based on 5,774 ratings and 476 reviews.

    Goodreads: 4.44*/5, based on 9,083 ratings and 687 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    “Are you a glass half full or a glass half empty person?”

    I said, “Well, it depends where you are at the time.  The Technical Section will say never mind whether it’s half empty or half full, the glass was obviously too big in the first place.  Dr. Dowson will tell you it’s not contemporary to the time period and you should be using a goblet.  The History Department will enquire what bloody glass?  The Security Section will be gloomily surveying the broken shards on the floor, and Mrs. Mack will just tell you to get out of her kitchen.”  (pg. 111)

 

    It takes a lot to catch St. Mary’s off balance.  Over the years, we’ve been attacked, blown up, gassed — several times actually, because Professor Rapson just can’t work out where he’s going wrong — mobbed by swans, crushed and drowned by a runaway monolith, the list is long and we’ve risen above all of it.  We’re St. Mary’s, we say, and our proud boast is that we can handle anything, and that’s true, but you can imagine my surprise and consternation when, out of the blue, a bloody great teapot materialised.  Right in front of us.  Right in the middle of the South Lawn and flattening a croquet hoop at the same time.  (pg. 325)

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Firkled (v.) : searched; rummaged

 

I’ve been at St. Mary’s long enough for the kookaburra of caution to hover over my head occasionally.  (pg. 352)

    The cussing in And The Rest Is History is negligible.  There were only three instances in the first 25% of the book, all of them “hell”.  Later on a couple more profanities were used, mostly the scatological word.

 

    As always, I greatly appreciated Jodi Taylor’s inclusion of a Dramatis Thingummy.  Here, however, it felt like the list of “Security Department” personnel was for some reason omitted.  The spelling typos were few: see/seen, though/thought, and, incredibly, Ort cloud/Oort cloud.  Punctuation typos were more numerous: at least one missing comma, one missing period, and a slew of missing “close quotation marks”.

 

    But these be quibbles.  And The Rest Is History was sheer delight to read, and fully deserving of those lofty Amazon and Goodreads ratings listed above.  The series shows no sign of succumbing to the “let’s just crank another one out” syndrome, I’m so wrapped up in this set of stories, I haven’t even had time to explore Jodi Taylor’s related series: “The Time Police” (5 books) and the “Frogmorton Farm” series (2 books).

 

    9½ Stars.  Acronym Appreciation Moment.  On page 317, the acronym SPOHB is used, which is short for Society for Preservation of Historical Buildings.  Shortly thereafter, the acronym BDSM is used, causing everyone at St. Mary’s to get all excited.  It turns out it stands for… well, we’ll let you read the book to find out, but its not what you think.

They Came and Ate Us - Robert Rankin

   1991; 336 pages.  Full Title: They Came and Ate Us – Armageddon II: The B Movie.  Book 2 in the “Armageddon Trilogy” series.  New Author? : Goodness, no.  Genres : Humorous Absurdism; Time Travel; Weird Fantasy.  Overall Rating : 7½*/10.

 

    Quick, how do you stop an NHE (that’s “Nuclear Holocaust Event” for you Earthlings) after it’s already happened?

 

    Well, as any Phnaarg can tell you, you send someone back through time, or forward in time for that matter, and have him kill whoever was responsible for the NHE.

 

    But what if the assassination attempt fails?

 

    Then you resend your guy and have him try again.  Or send some other person.  Or both.

 

    But that’s messing around with the original timeline!  I thought we weren’t allowed to do that.

 

    The taboo against spawning timeline anomalies is literary laziness preached by sci-fi authors who are afraid it will spread confusion.  Ignore those sissies.

 

    Gee, I don’t know.  It still sounds kind of risky.

 

   Well, ask yourself this: if someone did screw around with the original timeline, how would you know?

 

What’s To Like...

    They Came and Ate Us is vintage Robert Rankin absurdism.  The storyline is engaging and despite being confusing to start out with, it clarifies into several main storylines by the halfway point.  The primary plot threads are:

 

    Who zapped Rex Mundi a half century into the past, and why?

    Can Rex and Jack Doveston succeed in preventing the 1999 NHE, and how?

    Why is Elvis obsessed with killing Wayne Wormwood, and how come he repeatedly fails?

 

    There are talking dogs and sentient bean sprouts.  There are shakers and hackers and demons.  There are a slew of time paradoxes and fourth-wall asides.  The author himself sneaks in, cleverly disguised as one of the characters.

 

    I was pleased to see that there are also some of Robert Rankin’s trademark running gags and obscure (at least to us Yanks) British trivia.  Fangio’s bar makes a brief appearance; so does the inscrutable fighting art called Dimac.  Jim Pooley and John Omally have cameo roles near the end of the book, which makes me wonder if they’ll play a larger role in the sequel.  Trivia-wise, I had to look up both Frankie Howerd and Ray Harryhausen.

 

    They Came and Ate Us is the sequel to Armageddon – The Musical, and if both books reside on your TBR shelf, I highly recommend reading them in order.  I did, but alas I read Book 1 way back in 2013 and thus remembered almost nothing about it.  Thankfully, Robert Rankin provides a brief recap of that tale early on here (pgs. 7-8), for which I am very much grateful.

 

    The ending is over-the-top and replete with plot twist after plot twist.  Earth is saved from the 1999 NHE.  Or is it?  I guess I’ll have to read book 3, The Suburban Book of the Dead, to make sure.

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Yobbo (n.) : a cruel and brutal fellow. (English slang)

Others: Librams (n., plural); Putting Pay (v.), Prial (n.); Bunged the readies and seen all right (British slang, for which I never did suss out the meaning).

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.3/5 based on 81 ratings and 16 reviews.

    Goodreads: 3.89/5 based on 1,411 ratings and 16 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    In the year 2050 planet Earth finally got the chance to enjoy Armageddon.  It had originally been scheduled to occur in 999 and after that fell through, in 1999.  However, due to certain legal loopholes in the original contracts and God moving in the mysterious way he is known and loved for, the thing didn’t get under way until 2050.

    But when it did it was a real showstopper.  Cracking special effects, flaming chariots, angelic hosts, fire and brimstone, the whole kith and caboodle and the kitchen sink.  All in glorious Buddhacolour and broadcast live as it happened.  (pg. 7, and the opening paragraphs.)

 

    “Perhaps it can’t be done.”

    Elvis made a bitter face.  “What do you mean?”

    Rex turned to meet his eyes.  “Perhaps it is impossible to change history.  The Phnaargs tried it with you but it didn’t work.”

    “But I fooled the Phnaargs.  I am here and now.”

    “Perhaps you would have been here and now anyway, which is why you are.  If you follow me.”

    “I surely do.”  Elvis surely didn’t.  (pg. 126)

 

Sam voiced certain words to the effect that the junior officer’s cranium was in fact a male reproductive organ and flung the handset aside.  (pg. 12)

    There’s a moderate amount of profanity in They Came and Ate Us.  I counted 11 instances in the first 10% of the book, 5 of which were scatological in nature.  Later on, there were at least four references to male genitalia and its various functions.

 

    In addition to deciphering the British idioms, the punctuation takes some getting used to.  Across the pond, dialogue is in single quotation marks, not double.  There was an abundance of missing commas in direct quotes here.  Example: ‘And back to you in the studio Ramon.’  Us Yanks were taught to absolutely positively put a comma after the word “studio”.  This type of omission happens so frequently (yet not always), that I was left wondering if there are different rules for it in Britain.

 

    Finally, keep in mind that absurdism rules the roost here.  The crazier and more convoluted the storyline is, the better its entertainment value.  If complex and confusing plot threads bug you, you might want to eschew Robert Rankin's books.

 

    But I confess, I’m a Robert Rankin fanatic.  I’d be disappointed if he wrote a book where I wasn't kept on my toes trying to follow what's going on.  They Came and Ate Us may be a challenging read, but for me it was also a delightfully satisfying one.

 

    7½ Stars.  They Came and Ate Us was published in 1991.  Did Robert Rankin somehow foresee the rise of a prominent 21^st-century American politician?  Check out pages 152-53 and judge whether the person they’re talking about bears an eerie resemblance to one of our present-day newsmakers.

Lies, Damned Lies, and History - Jodi Taylor

   2016; 399 pages.  Book 7 (out of 14) in the series “The Chronicles of St. Mary’s”.  New Author? : No.  Genres: Time Travel; Humorous Fantasy; Historical Fiction.  Overall Rating: 9*/10.

 

    Chief Operations Officer “Max” Maxwell is leaving St. Mary’s!!  Well, it’s an amiable parting, and there’s a good reason for it.  Max is going to have a baby quite soon.

 

    She’s already on the “restricted list” when it comes to St. Mary’s primary function: time-traveling into the past to record historically important events.  Max is still allowed to chrono-hop, but she’s not allowed to go on any mission that might involve warfare or violence of any kind.  It’s for the baby’s well-being.

 

    Max understands the restriction, but it means the only assignments she gets are boring ones.  Such as her latest one: going to watch the coronation of some British king who’s in a scandalous marriage.  Ho.  Hum.

 

    But Max has a long history (pun intended) of having the time-jumps to which she’s assigned turning into dangerous adventures with harrowing escapes.  And there’s no reason to think that’s going to change just because an unborn child is coming along for the ride.

 

What’s To Like...

    Lies, Damned Lies, and History is the seventh book in Jodi Taylor’s excellent and exciting 14-book time-travel series, The Chronicles of St. Mary’s, where inept historians are the heroes is spite of their efforts.  Max is the main protagonist, and while Trouble usually finds her as she’s jaunting around the time-space continuum, here she willingly and knowingly creates her own bad mojo, and takes several coworkers down with her.

 

    Once again, Jodi Taylor conjures up all sorts of time-jumps for our historians.  There are nine chrono-excursions here, with Max being involved in eight of those, albeit quite unwillingly in one of them.  Almost all of the destinations here are within the borders of Great Britain, which is a bit unusual; normally one or two of the time-jumps are to places beyond the English isles.

 

    The story is written in the first-person POV, Max’s, which is true for the entire series.  I love the attention to detail in Jodi Taylor's tales.  It may sound trite, but I really can envision the historical settings presented in these books.  It’s also a plus that the text in these books sparkles with plenty of wit and a bit of snarkiness, yet also oozes with interpersonal tension.

    It's also neat that none of the characters in this series are completely black or white.  Max knows she’s doing something wrong and accepts the inevitable consequences.  Conversely, the "black hats" Time Police may be ruthless in dealing with those who alter the timeline in any way, but theirs is a dirty job that someone has to do.

 

    The book is written in English, not American.  That leads to some odd spellings and punctuation, but you’re also rewarded with a bunch of quaint British expressions, such as “knees-up”, “a bit of a kick around”, “cack-handed pillock”, “shame about the gob”, “complete girl’s blouse”, “banging on about me”, and my personal favorite “and Bob’s your uncle”. By comparison, our American “dialect” is sadly lacking in such colorful idioms.  And we won’t even mention the esoteric Latin-sounding expression “Illegitimi non carborundum”.  Yeah, you’ll want to google that one.

 

    The ending is reasonably exciting and includes a tension-filled race against time as well as a nifty plot twist that both Max and I never saw coming.  Everything works out for the good guys; although it can be said that everything pretty much works out for the bad guys too.  I like those kind of endings.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.7*/5, based on 5,863 ratings and 496 reviews.

    Goodreads: 4.42*/5, based on 9,919 ratings and 642 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    “I think we’ve done everything we can, don’t you?” he said.

    I nodded.  “Yes, I think so.”

    “As I always say – whatever the task you’re about to undertake, you should never neglect the basics.  Doesn’t matter what you call it – staff work, advance planning, spadework, foreplay – a little effort at the beginning always pays dividends in the end.”

    “Does Helen know you refer to your romantic interludes as spadework?”

    He looked over his shoulder.  “You’re not going to tell her, are you?”  (pg. 127)

 

    “Dr. Maxwell.  Advise us of your location.”

    The words bounced off the valley walls.  I was willing to bet if there ever had been anyone in the village below they weren’t there now.  They probably thought their gods were speaking to them.  It’s interesting to think that every major religion that claims to have heard the voice of their god might well have heard nothing more than the Time Police ordering some unfortunate to surrender at once, or be zapped with one of their sonic thingies.  I took a moment to wonder whether they could actually be responsible for the parting of the Red Sea, told myself not to be so bloody stupid, and staggered to my feet.  (pg. 380)

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Juggins (n.) : one easily victimized; a simpleton.  (British; informal)

 

Never again would I tease Roberts about his bum-fluff.  (pg. 161)

    There’s just a scant amount of cussing in Lies, Damned Lies, and History.  I counted only 8 instances in the first quarter of the book, the most common one referencing an excretory product.  Later on, one f-bomb appeared, as well as an informal reference to a female mammary organ.

 

    I only just two typos: th/the and Halcombw/Halcombe, and one missing close-quotation mark.  Kudos to the editor(s) for a job well done.  That’s all the nitpicking I can come up with.

 

    I found Lies, Damned Lies, and History to be another fine effort in this series.  I’ve been reading the books in order, and have yet to be disappointed in any of them.  They are all equal parts time-travel, historical fiction, and wry British humour, with hints of romance and save-the-world adventure blended in.  That’s a great recipe for a bestselling series.

 

    9 Stars.  I should mention that Jodi Taylor has at least three other series for your reading pleasure: The Time Police (5 books), Frogmorton Farm (4 books), and Elizabeth Cage (3 books).  I’ve snagged a couple of e-books from two of these series, but haven’t read any of them, mostly because I’m hooked on this St. Mary’s series.  That’s a first-world problem, I admit, but a pleasant one to have. 

What Could Possibly Go Wrong? - Jodi Taylor

   2015; 390 pages.  Book 6 (out of 14) in the series “The Chronicles of St. Mary’s”.  New Author? : No.  Genres: Time Travel; Humorous Fantasy; Historical Fiction.  Overall Rating: 9½*/10.

 

    Congratulations are in order for Madeleine “Max” Maxwell!  She’s recently been appointed Chief Training Officer at St. Mary’s Institute of Historical Research.

 

    A group of five new recruits has just been assigned to her, and she’s already mapped out a series of time-jumps with a sufficient variety of places, times, tasks, and difficulties by which the newbies will hopefully learn the rewards and risks of St. Mary's core business: chronicling historical events, while at the same time, Max will evaluate the leadership, decision-making, and team-building qualities in each recruit.

 

    Admittedly, Max’s new role is somewhat of a head-scratcher.  Her own time-traveling experiences have been “eventful”, although “chaotic” would perhaps be a more apt description.  Oh well, the first couple of scheduled chrono-hops should be tame affairs, with the trainees being limited to being merely observers and note-takers, and from a comfortable distance away from peaceful events.

 

    What could possibly go wrong?

 

What’s To Like...

    The main storyline in What Could Possibly Go Wrong? is straightforward: the reader gets to share in the misadventures of Max’s training sessions with her first group of rookies.  There is also a secondary plotline, however, which consists of investigating whether there is a double-agent operating within St. Mary’s.  Max will be kept busy.

 

    The training missions result in nine separate time-jumps, which is about double the usual amount for a Chronicles of St. Mary’s novel, and the destinations will be a literary treat for any reader who’s a history buff.  As usual, I was blown away by Jodi Taylor’s incredibly realistic descriptions of the various places-&-times visited.  They felt very realistic to me, much to my delight.

 

    The book is written in English, not American, which is always a treat.  Besides the usual spelling variants: despatched, furore, sceptically, plough, sabre-tooths, etc., there were a number of British phrases and slang that had me asking Google for a "translation", including: oik, grassed up, bottle out, plonker, and the colorful like a tramp on a kipper, whose meaning I never did suss out, even after consulting a friend of mine who has lived all her life in Merrie Olde England.

 

    Once again, I very much liked the variety of chrono-hopping destinations.  We won’t spoil the storyline by listing them here, but the book cover image above gives you a clue as to the first two places visited.  The Sonic Scream and Time Map were both fascinating innovations, and I had fun deciphering the Latin phrase “Quomodo cogis comas tuas sic vider?”

 

    All the perils encountered in the time-travel excursions lead to a successful and satisfying end.  History is not changed, which is one of the ironclad rules when chrono-hopping for St. Mary’s.  The five trainees, plus Max, are all evaluated, and we’ll simply note that not everyone passes muster.  Some good guys perish along the way, some evildoers succeed in plying their skullduggery, and there’s a neat “hook” at the very end that will whet your appetite for Book 7: Lies, Damned Lies, and History.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.7*/5, based on 5,916 ratings and 535 reviews.

    Goodreads: 4.42*/5, based on 10,191 ratings and 606 reviews.

 

Things That Sound Dirty, But Aren’t…

    “I’m not wearing anything whose design is based on Bashford’s testicles.”

 

Excerpts...

    We’re St. Mary’s.  We don’t scream.  Although we do tend to be a cause of screaming in others.  So when a yelping Bashford raced past, followed by a stampede of St. Mary’s staff, all of them shrieking contradictory instructions, you could say my attention was caught.

    “My feet are melting!  My feet are melting!”

    I gestured to my trainees to remain where they were.  The sooner they got used to this, the better.  I had no clue what was going on.  Given those involved, it could be anything from a reconstruction of some medieval torture device to a re-enactment of the famous scene from The Wizard of Oz.  (pg. 15)

 

    “Max, I think you should stay behind.”

    I turned slowly.  “What did you say?”

    “I think you should stay out of this.”

    “Because?”

    “Because if something goes wrong then one of us is still able to get back to St. Mary’s.”

    “I appreciate your reasoning, but if we all end up under arrest then a mature and respectable female can more easily facilitate our path to freedom.”

    “Not sure we’ll be able to find one at this short notice.”

    “I’m going to ignore that comment.”  (pg. 188)

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Grass up (v.) : to tell the police about the criminal activity of someone.

Others: Recce (n.); Plonker (n.); Firkle (v.), Artic (n.); Oik (n.).

 

“Why has Miss Sykes entitled her report, ‘How Mr. Atherton Lost His Trousers’?”  (pg. 382)

    Finding things to cavil about is always a challenge in this series.

 

    The text is refreshingly clean; I noted just two cusswords in the first 20% of the book, and there's one roll-in-the-hay later on.  The editing is topnotch.  I caught only one typo: “The stared” instead of “They stared”.  I thought I saw a second one, using span as the past tense for spin instead of spun.  But upon researching it, it turns out “span” is an archaic verb form, and therefore a valid option.

 

    Besides the already mentioned British colloquialisms, there were several English cultural references, including Horlicks, The Archers, and someone “losing her bottle”.  These might disrupt the storyline flow for some American readers, but personally I thoroughly enjoyed these "hiccoughs."

 

    At book's end, a couple of the plot threads remain unresolved, including the identity of a several millennia-old historical figure who apparently also was once employed by St. Mary’s.  One or more trainees are shown to have ulterior agendas, but the identities of those who caused this remain hidden.  I suspect these issues will be addressed in the sequel, though.

 

    But I quibble.  What Could Possibly Go Wrong? has lots of wit, lots of grit, lots of action, and lots of human interactions, all of which kept me reading “just one more chapter” at night.  Romance takes a backseat to the time-traveling here, the previous Ultimate Bad Guys are no-shows, and the Time Police make only a cameo appearance.  Sounds awkward, but somehow it all works wonderfully.  I’m hooked on this series.

 

    9½ Stars.  One last bit of trivia.  At one point, a visit is made to a place in Siberia called Pleistocene Park.  I thought it was a fictional take-off of Jurassic Park!  I was therefore astounded to find out that it really does exist, and is located in present-day Siberia.  Really!  Wiki it.