Lords and Ladies - Terry Pratchett

   1992; 281 pages.  Book #14 (out of 41) in Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series; Book #4 (out of 6) in the “Witches” sub-series.  New Author? : No.  Genre : Humorous Fantasy; Satire; Humorous Fiction.  Overall Rating : 10*/10.

    Yippee!  We’re going to a wedding, and not just any old affair.  It’s gonna be a royal wedding.  King Verence II of Lancre is getting married to Magrat Garlick.  It’s a good pairing.  Verence used to be court jester; now he’s the king, and pretty new to the job.  Magrat is a witch in good standing with her peers, Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg, but she’ll be leaving that vocation for a more lucrative one: Queen of Lancre.

    They’re both good people, but without doubt there’ll be an adjustment period.  Verence knows little about women in general, and Magrat has zero training in how a queen is supposed to act.  She’ll need to learn to let others do everything for her, and how to use the “Royal One”.  You know: “One wishes that one’s feet could have one’s socks put on them by someone.”  Forsooth.

    This is going to be a huge occasion.  All sorts of people from all sorts of places on Discworld will be attending.  The wizards will send some of their foremost members, and of course, Magrat’s witchy colleagues will be there as well.  There’ll be delegations of dwarfs and trolls, and lots of family and friends.

    Unfortunately, there are rumors that some wedding-crashers are on their way.  Elves.  Nasty, icky, uppity, unwelcome elves.  Including one who is particularly hostile to Verence and Magrat: the elvish queen, and who views Lancre as her own rightful territory and isn’t in a sharing mood.  To be fair, the two realms do coexist in the same multidimensional time/space "continuinuinuum".

    And as any beekeeper can tell you, there can only be one outcome when two queens are buzzing around in a single hive.  One of them must be eliminated.

What’s To Like...

    Lords and Ladies is Terry Pratchett’s spoof of Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream.  I read another take-off of this play earlier this year; which is reviewed here.  Coincidentally, I saw that play many years ago, also done in a spoofy style, and it was hilarious.

    The wizards, the Librarian (Oook!), and the witches all get star billing here, which for me was a real delight.  I enjoyed being introduced to a bunch of Nanny Ogg’s family; I don’t recall meeting them before.  And I was astounded to learn that Granny Weatherwax and Archchancellor Ridcully have a “history”.

    Terry Pratchett weaves several storylines together in his usual deft style.  The central story is Magrat’s coping with the upcoming nuptials, but of equal importance is the breach in the barrier between our world and that of the elves, the latter being euphemistically referred to as the titular "Lords and Ladies".  We also watch Granny Weatherwax come to grips with her own mortality: she’s growing older and more fragile, all the while having to contend with younger, stronger, upstart rivals.  Meanwhile, on a lighter note, Nanny Ogg has to deal with a small-in-stature, enamored suitor who won’t take “no” for an answer.

    Lords and Ladies is written in the usual Pratchett format, which means there are no chapters, lots of witty footnotes, and humor aplenty.  There is an Author’s Note at the start of the book, wherein those who aren’t reading the Discworld series in order (that includes me) are given a helpful backstory of the characters and events leading up to this.

    Multiverses and Schrodinger’s Cat are again present; Quantum Physics is a recurring theme in Discworld novels.  Other highlights include henges, crop circles, the much-coveted dried frog pills, The Long Man, a cameo appearance by DEATH, and, on a more personal level, agrochemicals.  I work for an agrochemical company.

    The ending is satisfying, witty, and suitably twisty.  Everyone gets their just desserts, for better or for worse.  There is even a semblance of an epilogue at the very end (not an easy thing to do when there are no chapters), and I thought it was a perfect way to close.

Kewlest New Word. . .

Garderobe (n.) : a small storeroom in a medieval building, used for safekeeping clothes or other valuables.  Also, the lavatory in a medieval building.

Others : Incunibles (n., plural, and slightly misspelled); Chicane (n.); Mackko (adj., huh?)

Excerpts...

    “Halt!  Who Goes There?” he said.

    A ringing voice came up from below.

    “It’s me, Shawn.  Your Mum.”

    “Oh, hello, Mum.  Hello, Mistress Weatherwax.”

    “Let us in, there’s a good boy.”

    “Friend or Foe?”

    “What?”

    “It’s what I’ve got to say, Mum.  It’s official.  And then you’ve got to say Friend.”

    “I’m your mum.”

    “You’ve got to do it properly, Mum,” said Shawn, in the wretched tones of one who knows he’s going to lose no matter what happens next, “otherwise what’s the point?”

    “It’s going to be Foe in a minute, my lad.”  (pg. 108)

    “The thing about elves is they’ve got no … begins with m.”  Granny snapped her fingers irritably.

    “Manners?”

    “Hah!  Right, but no.”

    “Muscle?  Mucus?  Mystery?”

    “No.  No.  No.  Means like … seein’ the other person’s point of view.”

    Verence tried to see the world from a Granny Weatherwax perspective, and suspicion dawned.

    “Empathy?”

    “Right.”  (pg. 117)

 “Chateau Maison?  Chat-eau … that’s foreign for cat’s water, you know.  (pg. 176)

    This is yet another Discworld novel that I can’t find anything to quibble or gripe about.  I think that the late 80’s and early 90’s were the Golden Era of Pratchett’s writing:  in addition to Lords and Ladies and several other stellar Discworld novels in this period, he also co-authored Good Omens with Neil Gaiman (in 1990), and which will shortly be released as a movie.

    Overall, Lords and Ladies seemed a bit darker in tone than the other Discworld books written during this time in Pratchett's career.  Perhaps that presaged the tone of his later books in this series.  It seemed like more characters got killed than normal; that isn’t a negative, just an insight.  And my hat’s off to anyone who can make elves and unicorns into terrifying creatures.

    10 Stars.  Highly recommended.  The stack of Discworld books on my TBR shelf has dwindled to about a half dozen, and I’m going to be pretty bummed when they've all been read.