Thursday, March 19, 2020

Thief of Time - Terry Pratchett


   2001; 357 pages.  New Author? : No.  Book 26 (out of 41) in the “Discworld” series.  Genre : Satire; Humorous Fantasy; Time Travel.  Laurels: 152nd in The Big Read (the top 200 books all-time in the UK); Locus Award nominee (2002).  Overall Rating : 9*/10.

    Time.  The fourth dimension, according to some; the eighteenth to others.  Like the other dimensions, it can be stretched, sped up, stopped, diced-&-sliced, and even rearranged.  Most humans don’t even notice this.  We say things like, “it seems like only yesterday” or “where does the time go” or “the meeting today went on forever” without realizing that those phenomena are really occurring.

    On Discworld a mystical brotherhood called the History Monks are charged with making sure Time runs smoothly.  A tweak here, a cut-&-paste there, and let's make sure that tomorrow happens according the great cosmic plan.  But actually the main task of the History Monks is to see that tomorrow happens at all.

    Jeremy Clockson is a clockmaker; hands down the best one around.  He’s just received the most lucrative order and greatest challenge of his career: to build a clock made entirely of glass.  It’s never been done before, because no one could figure out how to make one key part – the clock's spring – out of anything but metal.  But if there's anyone who can get around that obstacle, it’s Jeremy.

    According to legend, a clock made entirely out of glass would allow you to capture Time herself.  That would be a neat trick, but dangerous.  Because if you caged up Time in such a device, and then it broke, Time would stop.

    Forever.

What’s To Like...
    Thief of Time is Terry Pratchett’s playful examination of the dimension of Time.  Various characters can go tripping around in it, and the History Monks are adept at regulating it.  If you like Time Travel science fiction novels, you’ll love Thief of Time.

    As usual, there are multiple storylines smoothly blended together.  A shadowy group called “the Auditors” hire Jeremy to build a super-accurate clock, but their reasons are shrouded in secrecy.  Susan, the granddaughter of Death, is charged with stopping Jeremy’s project, although not really told why.  The neophyte Lobsang Ludd is going to learn the mystical “Way of Mrs. Cosmopilite”, but his guru is the monastery's lowly janitor.  Nobody’s sure who Lady LeJean is, let alone what she is.  And when Armageddon looms, it’s time for the Five Horsemen of the Apocalypse to saddle up and ride, even if they’d just as soon not.

   There are several riddles and puzzles to figure out: What is the name of the Fifth Horseman of the Apocalypse, what is “Rule #1”, and what the Lu-Tze’s “Fifth Surprise”?   The book is written in typical Terry Pratchett style: lots of wit, lots of magic, a fair amount of footnotes, and several semi-serious topics to muse upon, such as the end of the world, which is scheduled for next Wednesday, and not even Death himself can stop it.

    You’ll meet an enlightened yeti (which is kinda redundant, since all of them are enlightened), learn what to do when there’s a Time Leak, and become aware of the Zen-ness of the phrase “I was not born yesterday.”  You’ll also discover that Time is not just a dimension; she’s also a being who once had a son.  The title reference is given on page 351, and for the ladies, there’s even a hint of Romance between Lobsang and Susan. 

    The ending is satisfying: the world is saved (come on, that’s not a spoiler, there are fifteen books in the series after this one), the riddles are solved, all the plot threads are tied up, and most, but not all, of the characters live to see another day.  Thief of Time is a standalone novel, as well as part of the always fantastic Discworld series.

 Kewlest New Word ...
Played Hob With (v., phrase) : caused disruptions (for someone or something).
Others: Oleaginous (adj.).

Excerpts...
    As a hobby, mountains appeal to those people who in normal circumstances are said to have a great deal of time on their hands.  Lu-Tze had no time at all.  Time was something that largely happened to other people; he viewed it in the same way that people on the shore viewed the sea.  It was big and it was out there, and sometimes it was an invigorating thing to dip a toe into, but you couldn’t live in it all the time.  Besides, it made his skin wrinkle.  (pg. 41)

    “The poet Hoha once dreamed he was a butterfly, and then he awoke and said, ‘Am I a man who dreamed he was a butterfly, or am I a butterfly dreaming he is a man?” said Lobsang, trying to join in.
    “Really?” said Susan briskly.  “And which was he?”
    “What?  Well … who knows?”
    “How did he write his poems?” said Susan.
    “With a brush, of course.”
    “He didn’t flap around making information-rich patterns in the air or laying eggs on cabbage leaves?”
    “No one ever mentioned it.”
    “Then he was probably a man,” said Susan.  (pg. 250)

“After everyone panics, there’s always got to be someone to tip the wee out of the shoe.”  (pg. 321 )
    It’s hard to nitpick about anything in Thief of Time.  There’s a smattering of cussing – a few damns and a couple hells – but that’s about average for any Discworld book.  There are no chapters, but there are lots of scene-shifts, so you can always find a convenient place to stop.  An Igor plays a fairly prominent role in the story, and they always talk with a lithp.  That can get old after a while, but hey, it’s not nice to thay thingth about the way other people thpeak.

    Thief of Time is a "one-off" book in this series in that its setting is unique, and most of the characters are new.  Sam Vimes and the Night Watch are completely absent, and the only witch is Nanny Ogg, whose part in the story is rather small.  Susan and Lu-Tze show up in one or two other Discworld tales, and Lobsang is unusual in that he makes a “jump” after this book to the Terry Pratchett/Stephen Baxter Long Earth collaborative series.

    9 StarsThief of Time was rated #152 in the BBC-sponsored poll “The Big Read”, taken in 2000 to determine what British readers felt were the best-loved novels of all time.  More than 750,000 votes were cast, and you can see the results hereFifteen of Terry Pratchett’s Discworld novels are ranked in the top 200.   That is both incredible and well-deserved.  If you’ve never read a Discworld book, this is as good of a place to start as any.

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