The Stars My Destination - Alfred Bester

   1957; 258 pages.  Original Title: Tiger! Tiger!  New Author? : Yes.  Genre: Classic Science Fiction, Speculative Fiction, Space Opera.  Overall Rating : 8*/10.

 

    It’s the 25^th century, and if you were a visitor from way back in the 20^th century, you’d be amazed, but probably not particularly surprised, by how much things have changed.

 

    The biggest difference you’ll find is a recently-discovered innate human talent called “jaunting”, which is the ability to self-teleport.  You don’t even need the old Star-Trekkian transporter; you can do it all by yourself, if you've been taught how.  It utilizes a yoga-type technique: you memorize the exact coordinates of some place you’re already familiar with, visualize it in your mind, and will yourself to teleport.  Voila!  You're there!

 

    There are some limitations.  The maximum distance you can jaunt is 1,000 miles.  A few brave people tried to disprove that, and they all disappeared.  Also, you can’t jaunte through outer space.  No one knows why, but that’s the way it is.

 

    Those limitations prevent any shenanigans like jaunting to the other side of the galaxy, but it hasn’t stopped mankind from exploring the entire Solar System over the past 400 years.  The nearby planets have been visited and colonized; so have some of the moons of the outer planets.  And like most colonies in history, those ungrateful Outer Satellite colonists have revolted against Earth and its inner planet allies.  The result is an uneasy stalemate.  The terrestrial armies could really use some new game-changing technology.  Like a way to jaunte greater distances, for example.

 

    Curiously, a lone survivor, stranded in a derelict spaceship floating somewhere between Mars and Jupiter and close to death, just might just have the answer.

 

    It’s a pity he’s such a jerk,

 

What’s To Like...

    The Stars My Destination was published in 1956, but reads like a 1980’s space opera.  Our protagonist, Gulliver “Gully” Foyle, starts out as a complete antihero, indeed, one of the females he crosses paths with describes him as a “remorseless, lecherous, treacherous, kindless villain”.  And what a temper!  Gully can carry grudges to unbelievable extremes.  Part of the fun in the book was to watch him gradually change for the better, but even at the end, he’s hardly a choirboy.

 

    As with any good space opera, there are a bunch of plot threads spun throughout the tale.  Gully is fixated on destroying the spaceship “Vorga”, after they chose not to rescue him when he was stranded in deep space, for no apparent reason.  Some well-meaning bad guys (is that an oxymoron?) are desperate to get their hands on a rare super-explosive called “PyrE”; for reasons untold.  An outlander named Robin wants Gully to help her find her mom and sisters who are hiding somewhere on Earth.  A “burning man” keeps popping up out of nowhere at the most timeliest of times.  A blind albino woman sets Gully's heart a-flutter, but does she have some ulterior motive?  And will the war between the Inner Planets and the Outer Satellites ever be resolved?

 

    I liked the numerous chemistry references, since I’m a chemist by trade.  A number of Bromide salts get mentioned, along with Citric Acid and Methylene Blue.  Erlenmeyer flasks are a chemist's stock and trade, and the lab explosion Gully causes on page 127 brought back old memories.  I was intrigued by the concept of a “telesend”, aka: a one-way telepath.  They can beam their thoughts to others, but can’t receive any.

 

    The book’s title doesn’t get explained until the second last page, and is a subtle revision of one of Gully’s little poems, and nuance I missed until Wikipedia pointed it out.  We are treated to a couple instances of French, such as “Etre entre le marteau et l’enclume”, which I had to google.  I liked the “Megal Mood”  technique and the “Sympathetic Blocks”, and loved the “Scientific People” that Gully encounters who are marooned on an asteroid.  And thanks to Wikipedia, I found out the the last names of several characters are actually cities and small towns in the UK.

 

    The ending can best be described as “2001-ish”, and for me that's a positive thing.  Gully, faced with an annihilation scenario, finds an innovative way of dealing with it.  Most of the plot threads are tied up, although room is left for a sequel dealing with the Inner/Outer Planetary dispute.  I’m not aware of any sequel though.

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Charivari (n.) : a discordant mock serenade to newlyweds, made with pots, kettles, etc.

Others: Maladroits (n., plural).

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.5/5 based on 749 ratings.

    Goodreads: 4.10/5 based on 42,412 ratings and 2,742 reviews

 

Excerpts...

    He was in a bed.  The girl, Moira, was in bed with him.

    “Who you?” Foyle croaked.

    “Your wife, Nomad.”

    “What?”

    “Your wife.  You chose me, Nomad.  We are gametes.”

    “What?”

    “Scientifically mated,” Moira said proudly.  She pulled up the sleeve of her nightgown and showed him her arm.  It was disfigured by four ugly slashes.  “I have been inoculated with something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.”

    Foyle struggled out of the bed.  (pg. 30)

 

    “Been busy, haven’t you?  Either you’re the Prince of Villains or insane.”

    “I’ve been both, Mr. Sheffield.”

    “Why do you want to give yourself up?”

    “I’ve come to my senses,” Foyle answered bitterly.

    “I don’t mean that.  A criminal never surrenders while he’s ahead.  You’re obviously ahead.  What’s the reason?”

    “The most damnable thing that ever happened to a man.  I picked up a rare disease called conscience.”

    Sheffield snorted.  “That can often turn fatal.”  (pg. 220)

 

“Most respectfully I singe your snaggle teeth.”  (pg. 55)

    There’s not much to nitpick about in The Stars My Destination.  There’s a fair amount of cussing (15 instances in the first third of the book), which is highly unusual for a 1950’s sci-fi novel, but I thought of it as a glimpse of things to come in this genre.

 

    Similarly, the reference to blacks as “Negroes” chafed me a bit, yet that was the proper terminology back when this book was published.  There are also a couple instances of sex, but they are implied and occur off-screen.

 

    The Stars My Destination is one of two of Alfred Bester’s most acclaimed science fiction novels (the other being The Demolished Man), and I thoroughly enjoyed it.  Science fiction has come a long way since the 1950’s, but that was what I read in my boyhood days.  I've been meaning to read something by Alfred Bester for quite some time, and I was not disappointed at all.  Alas, Bester's only penned a few full-length sci-fi novels are few and far between; he seemed to prefer writing short stories, and those are not my cup of tea.

 

     8 Stars.  The original title of this book was “Tiger! Tiger!”, which Neil Gaiman says he prefers in the book’s Introduction.  It’s worth taking time to read that 4-page section, although I’d recommend doing so after you’ve finished the book so you have a better idea of what Gaiman is talking about.

A Year in the Merde - Stephen Clarke

     2005; 276 pages.  New Author? : No, but it’s been a while.  Book 1 (out of 6) in the “Paul West” series.  Genres : Humorous Fiction; France; British Humor.  Overall Rating : 8½*/10.

 

    Paul West has just landed a great new job!  His new company wants him to head a team that will develop a chain of English tea rooms in France.  They are betting it’s going to be the next big thing.

 

    Paul was recruited because his last job was overseeing the development of a chain of French cafés in England.  Under his guidance, thirty-five new cafés were opened there.  His new employers hope he can duplicate that feat for them, but with English tea.  His new company, VianDiffusion, has organized a crack team for him to supervise.  The target is to open the first tea room a year from now.

 

    Of course, Paul will have to relocate to Paris, at least for the first year, but that shouldn’t be a problem.  He speaks a little bit of French, and has been assured that each of his team members speaks some English.  At 27 years old, Paul is eager for a corporate challenge, and anxious to work his charm of Parisian girls.  What could go wrong?

 

    Well, there’s a reason this book is titled A Year in the Merde.

 

What’s To Like...

   There are nine chapters in A Year in the Merde, with each covering a month of Paul’s life as he learns the tricks to living, working, and socializing in France.  We start with “Septembre”, which the French consider the beginning of the work year, when everybody is returning from three months worth of vacation, and go through “Mai”, when everyone goes back on vacation again.  For the most part, the story takes place in and around Paris, apparently in 2003-04, just after the West's second invasion of Iraq.

 

    The book is written in the first-person POV, Paul's, and is full of both self-deprecating humor (Stephen Clarke used to write comedy sketches for BBC-Radio) and keen insight into French culture (the author had also previously worked for a French press group).  The book reads like a memoir, but it’s not, although I suspect Clarke drew heavily from his own Anglo-Franco experiences.

 

    Stephen Clarke is a British author, so the text is replete with English expressions, which means you can doss down with toffs, engage in hoovering, wear your wellies, and freeze your bollocks off.  But the spellings have been “translated” into American, so you specialize, not specialise, in something.  Naturally, there is also a lot of French vocabulary for Paul (and the reader) to sift through.  It helps if you know a bit of French, but you don’t have to be fluent in it.

 

    I enjoyed Paul’s visit to Montmartre (I’ve been there and it is awesome!), chuckled at the name of Paul’s previous company, “Voulez-Vous Café Avec Moi”, and guffawed at the reference to “Monsieur Stid” of the old TV show, The Avengers.  GMOs play a part in story, as does the threat of Mad Cow Disease in British beef, the French being dead set against both of these.  Marijuana gets a brief mention, as does the esoteric chemical “paracetamol”.

 

    The ending is good, albeit somewhat tame.  Paul’s work-year is done, and he has mixed feelings as he prepares to spend the upcoming summer back in England.  Despite his best efforts, he has become Frenchified.  The book closes at a logical spot: Paul has learned how to do business in France, and sets up Book Two in the series, Merde Actually, where Paul experiences another year of cultural enlightenment.  I read Book 2 back in 2012; it is reviewed here.

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Swish (adj., British) : fashionable, posh, sophisticated, expensive.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.2/5 based on 404 ratings.

    Goodreads: 3.54/5 based on 14,279 ratings and 1,249 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    The half-baguette was filled with slices of a suspicious-looking gray brown substance.

    “Sausage?” (…)

    “Yes.”

    I took one bite and spat it back in the foil.

    “It tastes – it smells – of merde!”

    Alexa thought this was hugely funny.  “Oh, please.  Not your favorite subject again.  This is the typical andouille.”

    She explained how they made it.  I took a swig of beer to clean my teeth.  Apparently, I’d just bitten into a pig’s rectum.  (pg. 59)

 

    Today it [the Arc de Triomphe] stands majestically astride a small island in the middle of one of Europe’s largest roundabouts, which is known as l’Etoile, or “the Star”.  The roundabout has twelve exits and is a massive quarter of a mile in diameter, which gives cars plenty of room to dash in at least twelve different directions at once.  As a star, l’Etoile is part black hole, part supernova.  Cars are sucked in, bounced crazily around, then expelled along one of the exits.  (pg. 139)

 

In France, cutting your lettuce when it’s on your plate is punishable by death. (pg. 107)

    There isn’t much to quibble about in A Year in the Merde.  There’s a fair amount of cussing, in both French and English (10 instances in the first 10% of the book), but then again, the title has “Merde” in it, so cusswords are to be expected.  There’s a bunch of references to sexual situations, but nothing lurid.

 

    Most of the French girls in the story can’t seem to wait to pounce on Paul and get him into bed, and some reviewers found this off-putting.  I admit that this didn’t seem realistic, but it makes for an interesting storyline, and to be fair, most of the femmes eventually get the better of Paul.

 

    Other reviewers were offended by all the pokes Stephen Clarke aims at French culture, and while that’s certainly true, it should be noted that he takes a lot of jabs at English culture as well, particularly when it comes to cuisine and culinary habits.

 

    A Year in the Merde was a treat for me.  I took 3 years of French at the local community college about 20 years ago, and have traveled to France three times, each trip lasting about a week.  My command of French is roughly equal to Paul’s, and a lot of things he encounters – such as stuffy waiters, striking workers, and communication difficulties – are things I experienced as well.  The book brought back fond memories, and for that I’m grateful.

 

    8½ Stars.  I was surprised to learn that Stephen Clarke has written another dozen or so books, half of them fiction, half of them non-fiction, all of them about France and/or England, and all of them humorous.  It is a rare treat to find his books at my local used-book stores, but I intend to go looking for some more of his works, just as soon as this pandemic has run its course.

The Sacrilege - John Maddox Roberts

   1992; 204 pages.  New Author? : No.  Book 3 (out of 13) in the “SPQR” series.  Genres : Murder-Mystery, Historical Fiction; Rome.  Overall Rating: 8*/10.

 

    These are busy times for Decius Caecilius Metellus the Younger (hereafter we'll just call him “Decius”).  He’s just arrived back home in Rome after a stint with the Roman army in Gaul, and thanks to some family string-pulling, he’s now a Senator.  But that’s not why he’s busy; new Senators are expected to show up for sessions, cheer and clap when appropriate, and otherwise keep their mouths shut.

 

    But when a Patrician friend is murdered, people look to Decius to find out who did it, since he’s known to have a flair for asking questions and poking his nose into things.  This will tie up Decius for a while, since no one can think of anybody who’d want to kill the Patrician.

 

    Then there’s that scandal at the recent “Rite of Bona Dea”.  The secret ceremony is off-limits to all males, yet Clodius, who Decius is not on good terms with, somehow wormed his way into it and has now fled the scene, since the penalty for such an infraction is death.  Again, People Decius is expected to look into the matter.  It’s going to be a challenge since Clodius is in hiding and all the women are sworn to secrecy about the ritual.

 

    On top of all that, someone just tried to poison Decius, via a furtive sprinkling of a white powder on his pastry.  How in Jove’s name will Decius solve all these mysteries, especially the one where he was the target?  Can things get any busier?

 

    Yes, they can.  And they do.  When more bodies are found.

 

What’s To Like...

    The Sacrilege is set in the city of Rome in the year 693 via Roman reckoning, or 70 BC via our dating.  It is an era chock full of notable Romans.  Julius Caesar is a youngster on the rise, Cicero and Cato are at the height of their Senatorial careers, and Pompey and his mighty army are camped just outside the walls of Rome, waiting for the Senate to ask him to lead a glorious parade celebrating his recent victories.

 

    The storyline is equal parts murder-mystery, historical fiction, and action-intrigue.  This is a turbulent time in the world – the Roman Republic is threatened by those who wish to turn it into a dictatorship, or even something new and bizarre - a triumvirate.  The ordinary citizens would much prefer to keep it a republic, but there are several nobles who are both powerful ambitious, and would love to rule as Emperor over the whole civilized world.

 

    The story is told in the first-person POV, Decius’s.  This is the book that introduces Hermes, a young slave who will also grow to be a friend that’s both insolent to, trusted by Decius.  I’m not reading the series in order, so it was neat to see how and when Hermes came in.

 

    I always enjoy the historical angle of the book in this series.  John Maddox Roberts uses a slew of Latin words in the text, and the 12-page glossary in the back comes in very handy.  I was surprised to learn the Romans had things like greenhouses and wigs, employed the use of fortune-tellers and Etruscan soothsayers, and even asked philosophical questions such as: “would men stop lying just because they’re dead?”

 

    The ending is good, with an ample amount of thrills-&-spills, including a requisite chase scene, and some always-appreciated plot twists.  Not everyone gets their just desserts, in fact almost no one does.  The plans and schemes of just about everybody, including Decius, fall through.  I loved it.

 

Excerpts...

    “Come here, boy, let’s have a look at you.”  The lad complied.  He appeared to be about sixteen, of moderate growth and wiry.  His face was narrow and foxy, with a long, thin nose that provided far too little distance between his eyes, which were an alarming shade of green.  His dense, curly hair grew to a sharp peak over his brow.  His whole look was shifty and villainous, with a touch of surly arrogance.  I liked him instantly.  (pg. 9)

 

    “Am I to understand that you have taken upon yourself one of your inimitable investigations?”

    “It helps pass the time,” I said.

    He grew very serious.  “Decius, my friend, I have known many men who courted death for the sake of glory.  Others do the same in pursuit of wealth, power or revenge.  You are the only man I know who does so as a sort of intellectual exercise.”

    “Every man finds his pleasures where he will,” I said, quoting an old saying I had often seen carved on tombstones.  (pg. 102)

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Recondite (adj.) : esoteric, abstruse, obscure.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.3*/5, based on 44 ratings.

    Goodreads: 4.07*/5, based on 1,079 ratings and 45 reviews

 

“It is always inadvisable to take liberties with the diet of professional killers.”  (pg. 65 )

    There are several nits to pick, none of which are show-stoppers.  For a 204-page book, you meet a lot of people, many of which have compound names, so a Cast of Characters would’ve been quite useful.  I was surprised to find a couple typos – danger/dagger, plaze/plaza, god/good – in this published paperback version.  Perhaps Avon Books needed a better editor; but then again, maybe these errors are all cleaned up in later editions.

 

    I only noted three instances of cussing – two poops and a penis – in the whole book.  There are a couple brief and subtle references to homosexuality (Decius refers to it as the “Greek” way), but they really play no part in the tale.  Homophobes and prudes can pretty much read in peace.

 

    The titular “Sacrilege”, while certainly a factor in the story, is not the main plotline; the four murders are.  Finally, there’s a deus ex machina near the end that conveniently documents all the reasons for the murders.  Without this godsend, Decius would not have solved anything, let alone have any proof.

 

    But that’s okay.  I read John Maddox Roberts stories mostly for the historical fiction and action-adventure, and within those genres, The Sacrilege is one fine novel.  I’ve got one more book from this series on my TBR shelf, which I'm looking forward to.  After that, I’ll either have to hit the used-book stores while braving the pandemic or hope that John Maddox Roberts occasionally discounts the Kindle versions.

 

    8 Stars.  The Sacrilege was my fourth SPQR book, and John Maddox Roberts has yet to disappoint.  If you like murder-mysteries set in ancient Rome, this is definitely a series to get into.

Expecting Someone Taller - Tom Holt

   1987; 231 pages.  New Author? :Nos.  Genres : Humorous Fantasy; Norse Mythology; Satire.  Laurels: nominated for the 1991 Crawford Award.  Overall Rating : 7½*/10.

 

    It was nighttime, he was driving home on a dark country road, and the animal suddenly appeared in his headlights.  It was a badger and Malcolm had no choice but to run it over.  He probably killed it, but best to stop anyway and check for damage to the car.

 

    There was one small dent, which elicited a small “damn” from Malcolm’s mouth.  Then a voice said, “so how do you think I feel?”  Which was spooky because there was no one else around.

 

    Except the badger.

 

    Who was not really a badger, but Ingolf, the last of the Frost Giants, Master of the World, and who had just become mortally wounded, thanks to Malcolm’s unwitting help.

 

    Woohoo, Malcolm!  Thus far your life has been the epitome of mediocrity, but that’s about to change.  I wonder if this is the luckiest day of your life, or the unluckiest .

 

What’s To Like...

    Expecting Someone Taller was Tom Holt’s first humorous fantasy novel, preceded only by two contributions to E.F. Benson’s “Lucia” series.  It is based on Richard Wagner’s “Der Ring des Nibelungen”, a set of four operas, with tinges of Lord of the Rings and A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court thrown in for good measure, plus a ton of witty dialogue and dry humor.

 

    The protagonist is Malcolm Fisher, a very ordinary fellow who, via an ironic wrinkle at the hands of Fate, finds himself the new Master of the World.  He even inherits some neat artifacts – Wagner’s magical “Ring” and something called "the Tarnhelm", aka “the Helmet of Darkness”.  These give him some neat superpowers – he can make himself invisible, become a shape-shifter, transport himself anywhere, read other people’s thoughts, and communicate with birds.  Alas, he also inherits something called “The Curse of Alberich”, plus a bunch of new enemies, most of which are Norse deities.

 

    The title references Ingolf’s disappointment of being laid low by such an ordinary human.  For those of us who have never watched Wagner’s music dramas, the backstory to the Rings of the Nibelungs is given on pages 24-26.  Most of the characters with weird names, such as Albrich and Ortlinde, come from that opera, with a couple more, such as Wotan, from Norse mythology.

 

    The story is set in England, and since Tom Holt is a British author, it’s not surprising to find that the book is written in “English”, not “American”.  So things might be lacklustre or moulded and a cornet is an ice cream cone, not a musical instrument.  I knew about cheques, kerbs, Sellotape, and hoovering,  but horseboxes, trafficators, spongebags, and nobbling were all new to me.  So was a financé, although methinks that one was a typo.  There's also get a smattering of German vocabulary, and some neat-sounding places in England to visit, such as “Nether Stowey”.

 

    The ending is good, a bit anticlimactic, and yet totally unexpected.  To quote Thought and Memory, a pair of Wotan’s ravens: “Happy ending and all.”  Expecting Someone Taller is a standalone novel, all the plot threads get suitably resolved, and there's no need for a sequel.

 

Excerpts...

    ”I’d better get you to a hospital,” said Malcolm.

    “Don’t bother,” said the giant.  “Human medicine wouldn’t work on me anyway.  My heart is in my right foot, my spine is made of chalcedony, and my intestines are soluble in aspirin.  I’m a Giant, you see.  In fact I am – was – the last of the Giants.”

    The Giant paused, like a television personality stepping out into the street and waiting for the first stare of recognition.

    “How do you mean, Giant, exactly?  You’re very tall, but …”

    The Giant closed his eyes and moaned softly.  (pg. 4)

 

    “Just out of interest,” said Malcolm, “did you design the human race?”

    “Correct.  As I was saying…”

    “Ten out of ten for the Ears and Eyes,” said Malcolm, “the Feet and the waste disposal system not so hot.  Friday afternoon job, I always thought.”

    “You are thinking of the hardware, Mr. Fisher, which is the result of the evolutionary process, and for which I claim no credit or otherwise.  My work was entirely concerned with the software, what you would call the feelings and the emotions.”  (pg. 170)

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Nobble (v.) : to try to influence or thwart someone by underhanded or unfair methods.

Others: Stemma (n.);  Cornet (n., food); Spongebag (n.); Trafficator (n.).

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.4*/5, based on 83 ratings.

    Goodreads: 3.82*/5, based on 4,064 ratings and 123 reviews.

 

Love, the songwriter says, is the sweetest thing, and too many sweet things can make you feel slightly sick.  (pg. 134 )

    It’s hard to find anything to nitpick about in Expecting Someone Taller.  The cusswords are few a far between; I counted only five over the first quarter of the book.  I don’t recall anything even remotely close to being R-rated.  This may not be Tom Holt’s finest novel, but it’s an impressive debut effort.  The worst I can say is, “the bird dies”.

 

    Overall, I enjoyed Expecting Someone Taller, but then again, I’m hooked on Tom Holt novels.  And in a bit of serendipity, I was pleasantly surprised this morning to find a slew of his e-books discounted at Amazon.  That is a rare event, and I took advantage of it by adding a couple of them to my Kindle – May Contain Traces of Magic and Nothing But Blue Skies.  Thank you, Mr. Holt, sir, for the discounts!

 

    7½ Stars.  Add 1 Star if you’re familiar with Der Ring des Nibelungen.  I'm not, and have no intention of ever being so, but I got the impression I was missing a lot of nuances in Expecting Someone Taller because of that.

Season of the Harvest - Michael R. Hicks

   2012; 372 pages.  Book One (out of three) in the “Harvest” trilogy.  New Author? : No, but it’s been a while.  Genres : Techno-thriller, Action-Intrigue.  Overall Rating : 7*/10.

 

    FBI Special Agent Sheldon Crane is about to die.  He’s trapped in a dead-end corner of a dark underground tunnel, and that which is chasing him is but a couple minutes away.  Poison is already shooting through his body, and may well finish him off before his pursuer arrives.

 

    His fate is sealed and he accepts that.  But there’s still a small amount of precious time to do something that might make his death worthwhile.

 

    Crane is carrying a Glock 22 , the standard weapon issued to FBI agents.  It won’t do him any good against the thing that’s stalking him, but he still has a couple ammunition magazines for it.  He carefully empties one of them and pulls a small plastic bag from his pocket containing a handful of ordinary-looking corn kernels.  But these are very valuable seeds, and worth more than his life.

 

    He selects four of the kernels and gingerly inserts them into one of the magazines, places a single bullet over them, and slams the magazine into the Glock.  He then reseals the bag holding the remaining kernels, and swallows it.  He's certain his pursuer will dismember his corpse in search of the stolen corn, but perhaps when it discovers the baggie, it’ll be content with recovering that and won’t bother inspecting the Glock.

 

    Well, his executioner has just rounded a corner and spotted him.  It’s time for Special Agent Sheldon Crane to die.

 

What’s To Like...

    Season of the Harvest is an action-intrigue-technothriller-adventure set against a backdrop issue of “what's the matter with GMOs?”.  GMO is an acronym for “Genetically Modified Organisms”, a hot-button topic in agribusiness right now, but don’t be misled, the thrills-&-spills take precedence here, not the speculative science.

 

    The baddies, nicknamed “harvesters”, are formidable foes: imagine an “Alien/Predator” hybrid that can also do shapeshifting.  Our protagonist, FBI Special Agent Jack Dawson, has two main tasks: a.) figure out who killed his Agent Crane (and why); and b.) figure out what’s so important about a couple kernels of corn.

 

    I thought Michael R. Hicks did a thorough job of researching the storyline.  The reader gets to some snippets in both Russian and Norwegian, two languages that rarely make it into novels.  The GMO/non-GMO issue was presented evenly, a necessity when dealing with such a controversial topic.  The weaponry details, including the “willie petes” and “bouncing bettys”,  also seemed accurate, although I’m a poor judge of that.

 

    Being a chemist, I loved that chromatograms got a brief mention, and I was amused by the “law of unintended consequences”.  There are plenty of acronyms, my favorite being “BUFF” (Big Ugly Fat F**ker).  A lot of the story takes place in the confines of an old missile silo complex, which reminded me of Hugh Howey’s epic, Sand.

 

    The book is divided into 35 chapters, plus a prologue and epilogue, covering 372 pages.  Chapter 24 introduces a scenario that is chillingly similar to our current Covid crisis, which is spooky, given that this book was published in 2012.  The extras in the back include a brief promo for the sequel ("Bitter Harvest") and an Afterword from the author, which we’ll discuss in a bit.

 

    The ending is exciting, twisty, with lots of action and a fascinating glimpse into how our government might spin a doomsday story around to keep us ordinary citizens comforted, content, and completely clueless.  The epilogue is excellent, being a kind of “what happened to…” for some of the main characters.  Parts of the ending left a lump in my throat, and even though there’s a “hook” that sets up the book’s sequel, this is a standalone novel.

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Waldo (n.) : a remote manipulator, as for puppets, operated either mechanically or electronically.

Others: Prang (v., British); Flechette (n.).

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.2/5 based on 1,348 ratings.

    Goodreads: 3.63/5 based on 4,402 ratings and 361 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    “We call them harvesters,” she began.  “We don’t know what they’re really called, or if they even have a name for themselves that we could comprehend, so we had to come up with something.  Gregg coined the term, and it stuck.”

    “Haven’t they…” Jack began, suppressing his revulsion at the thing’s natural appearance, “…haven’t they ever said anything about who they are or where they come from?”

    “Nothing we were willing to believe,” she said.  (loc. 2327)

 

    “What are we going to do about this?”

    “We’ve already got an assault team ready to go in,” Ridley told him.  “All they need is your go-ahead.”

    “A team?” Curtis said angrily.  “A team?  I want bloody overwhelming, irresistible force!”

    “A hundred and fifty heavily armed FBI agents is ‘bloody overwhelming irresistible force,’ Mr. President,” she replied evenly.  (loc. 5307)

 

Kindle Details…

    ANAICT, Season of the Harvest is always free at Amazon.  The other two books in the series go for $4.95 apiece.  In addition, Michael R. Hicks has a nine-book Science Fiction – First Contact series titled In Her Name, with two of its books for free and the other seven for $4.95 apiece..

 

“Conquest is expensive; extermination isn’t.”  (loc. 1930 )

    There are a few quibbles  You can tell pretty quickly who the baddies and who the goodies are.  A couple black-hats eventually “turn”, which is a plus, but you can generally tell their friend-or-foe status from if they don’t like Jack or Jack doesn't like them. Also, if they’re not given a name when introduced, their life expectancy is probably very short.  And if any doubts remain, turn them over to the cats.  

 

    There’s a lot of cussing in the book: I counted 26 instances in the first 10% of the book, and it didn’t seem to let up after that.  The editing is excellent, except for one glaring glitch: the paragraphs aren’t justified.  However, I suspect this was a function of converting the word-processor version into the Kindle-format.

 

    Some of the naysayers at Amazon and Goodreads had negative didn't like the “aliens” plot twist, but I thought it was clearly hinted at early on and worked nicely.  Others seemed perturbed by the anti-GMO slant, but so what?  It makes for an exciting storyline.

 

    The quibbles didn't stop me from enjoying Season of the Harvest. I found it to be an easy and engaging read.  I can’t say that the writing “pulled me in”, but neither was it a slog.  Michael R. Hicks does all the right literary things to keep the action flowing and the reader entertained.

 

    7 Stars.  Michael R. Hicks has strong and passionate feelings against GMOs being so prevalent in our present-day food chain.  Happily, instead of bogging down the storyline with long-winded preaching, he chooses to lay out his case in the Afterword.  I happen to disagree with his views, but I enjoyed reading his persuasive presentation of them.

Hot Six - Janet Evanovich

   2000; 336 pages.  Book 6 (out of 26, soon to be 27) in the Stephanie Plum series.  New Author? : No.  Genres : Crime-Humor; Women Sleuths; Beach Novel.  Overall Rating : 8*/10.

 

    For bounty hunter Stephanie Plum, business is pretty good right now.  Uncle Vinnie, the proprietor of Vincent Plum Bail Bonds, has given her four FTA’s (“Failure To Appear”) to round up, deliver, and collect the bounty money.

 

    Three of them – Lenny Dale, Morris Munson, and Walter “Mooner” Dunphy -  look like pretty routine jobs.  Morris Munson might have some tendencies, but that just means Stephanie will pack a firearm when she goes to get him.

 

    The fourth assignment is going to be significantly more challenging.  Carlos Manoso was caught on security videotape leaving a crime scene soon after a murder was committed.  The police consider Carlos a "person of interest" in the case, which probably means they'll arrest him as soon as they get their hands on him.  Unsurprisingly, Carlos has declined to meet with them.

 

    Carlos is better known as “Ranger”, and he’s both Stephanie’s sometimes love interest and bounty hunter mentor.  Can the student really outwit the master and bring him in?  Can she keep her emotions in check while doing so?  Did Ranger commit the murder?  And last but not least, was he really so clumsy as to get caught by a surveillance camera at a crime scene?

 

    Stephanie’s life is about to get steaming hot.

 

What’s To Like...

    Hot Six has two main plotlines: 1.) figure out how Ranger fits in with the crime he's a suspect in, and 2.) if he didn't do it (and let's face it, we can safely assume that), then who did?  As usual, a large dose of romantic comedy is provided by Stephanie because she has the hots for both Ranger and Detective Joe Morelli.  But here the mayhem is augmented by: a.) Grandma Mazur who moves in with Stephanie, b.) a goofy golden retriever who moves in with Stephanie, c.) a pair of inept thugs assigned to tail her, and d.) the crazy antics by the stoner called Mooner.

 

    Once again the story is told in the first-person point-of-view (Stephanie’s).  There are 15 chapters, plus a prologue (we’ll get to that in a bit) covering 336 pages, so roughly 21 pages per chapter.  There’s a fair amount of cussing throughout the book, about half of which has to do with fecal matter and its source, but that's the norm for a Stephanie Plum book.

 

    The plot moves briskly along the whole way, and Janet Evanovich sprinkles in a bunch of interesting side plots, which range from criminal activity (there’s a major mob presence in this part of New Jersey), to hilarious situations, such as the dog-poop auction in Chapter 7.

 

    Lula gets to ride along with Stephanie a lot, and that’s always a plus.  Rex the Hamster is back, and Uncle Vinnie has lots of things to stress out about.  Mooner and Bob are both new, and personally I’m hoping they become recurring characters.  I learned that a “Tech-9” is an assault weapon, which also explains the stage name of the rapper Tech N9ne, whom I happen to like.  Donald Trump and Rocky-&-Bullwinkle both get mentioned, Stephanie goes to a Star Trek party that turns ugly, and we witness what has to be the shortest dognapping caper on record.  I also should mention that, even though they’re a crime family, I loved the names Alexander Ramos gave his three sons: Hannibal, Ulysses, and Homer.

 

    The ending is good, with sufficient excitement plus a couple of neat twists I didn’t see coming.  Ranger gets off the hook - well, that isn’t really a spoiler now, is it? - and the love triangle of Stephanie, Morelli, and Ranger remains unresolved, which also isn’t a spoiler.  Not everyone gets their just desserts (yes, I know technically it should be “deserts”, but I prefer the two-S spelling), and Mooner and Dealer receive an unexpected reward.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.7/5 based on 1,051 ratings.

    Goodreads: 4.19/5 based on 117,489 ratings and 2,428 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    “You see, Carol was coming out of the Frederick’s of Hollywood store, and she was flustered because she’d just gotten some sexy panties.”

    “Is this going to be embarrassing?”

    “Do you get embarrassed easily?”

    “What’s the point to all this, anyway?”

    “I was hoping you’d drop the charges.”

    “No way!”

    I sat down in the chair by his desk.  “I’d consider it a special favor.  Carol’s a friend.  And I had to talk her off a bridge this morning.”

    “Over panties?”

    “Just like a man,” I said, eyes narrowed.  “I knew you wouldn’t understand.”

    “Hey, I’m Mr. Sensitivity.  I read The Bridges of Madison County.  Twice.”  (pg. 32)

 

    “You don’t actually think I’m your wife, do you?”

    His mouth pulled back into a loopy grin.  “No, but if they think I’m really flipped out I can plead insanity.  Poor distraught husband goes berserk.  I’ve laid all the groundwork with you.  Now all I have to do is carve you up and set you on fire, and I’m home free.”

    “You’re crazy!”

    “See, it’s working already.”  (pg. 166)

 

“He’s dead all right. (…) The giveaway is those three holes in his forehead.”  (pg. 227 )

    There’s not much to nitpick about.  There’s a short prologue at the very beginning, which answers an epilogue teaser from the previous book.  If you’re reading the series in order (and I am), it’ll make sense, but if you aren’t – and frankly, I think they can be read in any order – you’ll wonder what the heck it has to do with anything.

 

    The only other thing that bothered me a bit was the stereotyping of the Arab thug, Habib.  But Hot Six was published in 2000, a year before the 9-11 tragedy, and it was a different world back then.

 

    This series is now up to 26 books, with #27 due out later this year.  I suspect that at some point, it will start to feel like the stories are “same-old, same-old”, but that hasn’t happened yet.  As long as Janet Evanovich keeps introducing new criminals for Stephanie to catch, new lovably weird characters to stir things up, and new situations for her family and friends to drive her crazy with, I’ll remain an avid and loyal reader.

 

    8 Stars.  For those veteran Stephanie Plum readers who keep count of the vehicles that she totals in each book, there was only one here (her Honda Civic gets torched), although she’s an accomplice in three more.