The Rabbit Factor - Antti Tuomainen

   2019; 324 pages.  New Author? : Yes.  Book 1 (out of 3) in the “Rabbit Factor” series.  Genre : Nordic Noir; Finland; Suspense; Dark Humor.  Overall Rating : 8*/10.

 

    Henri Koskinen has been having a tough time lately.  He’s just been fired (well, requested to resign, technically) from his actuarial job, despite his stellar number-crunching performance.  The reason: his boss felt Henri wasn’t a team player.  Oh well, so what.  There’s lots of other places that will hire him.

 

    Apparently not.  After a week of job hunting, Henri is still unemployed and the bills need paying.  And then, some good news and some bad news arrive.

 

    The bad news is that Henri’s brother, Juhani, has passed away.  That’s sad, but in truth Henri and Juhani weren’t all that close.  The good news is that Juhani has bequeathed his earthly assets to Henri.  Actually, just a single asset.  It’s not a bunch of money; it’s an adventure park called YouMeFun.  Henri is now its owner.

 

    That’s not exactly the sort of job Henri is trained for, but at least it’ll pay the bills.  Hmm, maybe not.  The accounting books indicate Juhani has borrowed heavily to keep the park open, and now Henri is responsible for those debts.

 

    And he’s going to be astounded at the interest rate on those loans.

 

What’s To Like...

    Some sites call the genre of The Rabbit Factor “Nordic Noir”, and I kinda like that choice.  There are killings, but this is not a murder-mystery.  “Suspense” is also a good description, then throw in a bit of Romance, and sprinkle some lighthearted Wit throughout.  Overall, the book’s tone reminded me of Die Hard 1, if you remember that old movie.

 

    I loved that the protagonist is an actuary.  Henri tackles all his challenges analytically and mathematically.  Sometimes this works to his detriment, much like Sheldon’s cogitations on The Big Bang Theory.  Gradually, Henri starts to broaden his thought processes, thanks both to an appreciation of Monet’s paintings (that happened to me as well!), and a girl who addles his brain whenever he’s near her. 

 

    The book’s original language is Finnish, and was translated into English by David Hackston.  I think he did a superb job; just keep in mind we’re talking about “Across-the-Pond English”, and not “American”.  So Yanks will run into some weird spellings (storeys, yoghurt, whingeing), and odd phrases (zebra crossings, nappies, humming and hawing) along the way.  I loved that my favorite British expression, “and Bob’s your uncle”, shows up here, although I wonder what the original Finnish expression was.

 

    I chuckled when Scrooge McDuck was mentioned.  Are Disney characters popular in Finland?  The book’s title stems from a giant metal rabbit sign at the park that impacts the storyline.  The park features all sorts of rides/attractions that will appeal to young and old alike.  Each one comes with a catchy name, such as Komodo Locomotive, Crazy Coil, Banana Mirror, Trombone Cannons, and Furious Flingshot.  Again, I’m in awe of the wordplay here, and wonder what they were called in the original Finnish.

 

    The ending is good, and includes a couple of plot twists that explain how the park can be entertaining lots of customers and still be heavily in debt.  Henri’s life is on the upswing, as is YouMeFun, and there's a promise of more adventures involving both in the next book in the series, The Moose Paradox.

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Jaffa (n.) : a popular carbonated drink made in Finland.

Others: Chicane (n.).

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.4*/5, based on 1,928 ratings and 105 reviews.

    Goodreads: 3.79*/5, based on 4,451 ratings and 635 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    “I just realized I haven’t asked what you do for a living.”

    Laura’s words brought me back to the office.

    “I am an actuary,” I said.  “Well, I gave my notice two weeks ago.”

    “Because of YouMeFun?”

    I shook my head.  “I didn’t know about this park at the time.  I resigned because I couldn’t stand watching my workplace turn into a playground.   Then I inherited one.”  (pg. 47)

 

    “Can you embrace the gift of your team’s unique emotional success story?”

    “What?”

    “It’s an essential part of working life these days,” I say and, disconcertingly, I can almost hear Perttila’s voice.  “Your strength might lie in an area where a weaker person might become swept away.  That makes you a safe emotional harbour.  When strength and weakness combine, a collective synergy emerges from within both, creating successful, empathetic prosperity.”

    I can see Kristian doesn’t understand a word I’m saying.  There’s nothing to understand.  Even I don’t know what I’m talking about.  (pg. 133)

 

Kindle Details…

    The Rabbit Factor currently sells for $6.15 at Amazon.  The other two books in the series, The Moose Paradox and The Beaver Theory, are the same price.  Antti Tuomainen has English translations of at least four other standalone novels for you, ranging in price from $0.99 to $9.99.

 

The most successful people are those who talk the least sense and blame everybody else for it.  (pg. 255)

    There isn't a lot of foul language in The Rabbit Factor.  I noted just eight instances in the first third of the book, although the favorite one was the f-bomb.  Later on, there are at least three occasions involving “intimate relations”, so you probably don’t want little Timmy or Susie reading this book.

 

    The quibbles are minor.  Henri’s actuarial musings piqued my interest at first, but after a while, I just wanted him to loosen up and chill.  It also takes him an irritatingly long time to figure out he might be falling in love.

 

    But these are superficial gripes.  The Rabbit Factor was my introduction to Antti Tuomainen’s works, and his storytelling, character development, and clever wit kept me turning the pages.  I look forward to reading more of his books.

 

    8 Stars.  One of Henri’s pet peeves is when people call YouMeFun an Adventure Park instead of an Amusement Park.  He feels forced to explain to several people why those are not synonymous terms.  But you know the difference, right?  If not, see the comments.

Conrad Monk and the Great Heathen Army - Edoardo Albert

   2018; 219 pages.  New Author? : Yes.  Genres : Historical Fiction; Dark Humor.  Overall Rating : 7½*/10.

 

    The Danes are coming!  The Danes are coming.!

 

    We’d call them “Vikings”, except they’re coming by land, not sea.  Right now, they’ve almost made it to Medeshamstede Abbey, and when they get here, they’ll pillage and loot the place.  They’re a bunch of pagans, so they’ll also exterminate all the monks there, either by killing them or selling them in the slave market.

 

    Abbot Flory, the head of Medeshamstede Abbey, has done the sensible thing – gathered together everything and everyone of value and fled to a hiding place that was made just for an emergency like this.  The Abbey's most valuable asset is an ancient Holy Book, with a cover made of gold, and inlaid with jewels.  Flory's most pious and most trusted monks are accompanying him. 

 

    Brother Conrad has been left behind at the abbey.  Frankly, Abbot Flory will be thankful if the Danes take that wayward monk off his hands.  The Abbot has made sure no one told Brother Conrad about the secret hiding place.

 

    But what if Conrad finds out about the secret lair before the Danes capture him?  What if he realizes Abbot Flory considers him "expendable"?

    May the saints preserve us if that happens!

 

What’s To Like...

    Conrad Monk and the Great Heathen Army is set in the late ninth century CE, with England on its last legs trying to stave off the Danes who have already conquered every local kingdom except Wessex.  This tale chronicles the adventures of the rogue monk, Brother Conrad, and his pious but clueless companion, Brother Odo.

 

    The storyline may be a farce, but its adherence to English history is astounding.  Outside of our two protagonists, and the rest of the monastic staff, most of the other characters and settings actually existed.  There is a “Historical Note” section at the end of the book in which Edoardo Albert details what is real and what is literary license.  It is well worth reading.

 

    This was a quick, easy, and entertaining read for me.  Conrad’s endeavors are straightforward and highly optimistic.  He aims to locate and retrieve the Holy Book, come to the aid of his fellow monks (“it’s all part of the plan!”), kiss up to the Saxon leaders in Wessex, and try not to get killed by the marauding Danes.  He doesn’t succeed in all these endeavors, but he comes close.

 

    The author resides in London, so the book is written in “English”, not “American”.  I didn’t find that distracting at all.  It's written in the first-person POV (Conrad’s) and I loved the way the dark humor was cleverly woven into a pivotal time in British history.  The use of the subject of “piles” as a conversational ice-breaker made me chuckle, and enjoyed the mention of the town of Stane, which nowadays is called Staines, and is a place I’ve actually visited.

 

    The ending is both exciting and comical, which is no small literary feat.  Yes, Conrad saves the day, but it takes some clever and fortuitous tactics to do so.  The story closes with a satisfying epilogue, letting the reader know what is in store for Brother Conrad in the next chapter of his life.

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Tupping (v.) : bonking.  (British, slang).

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  3.8/5 based on 186 ratings and 24 reviews.

    Goodreads: 3.66/5 based on 145 ratings and 34 reviews.

 

Kindle Details…

    Conrad Monk and the Great Heathen Army presently sells for $2.99 at Amazon.  Edoardo Albert has several dozen other e-books at Amazon for your reading pleasure, both fiction and non-fiction, and ranging in price from $2.99 to $21.95.

 

Excerpts...

    “I am truly sorry,” said Edmund.  I would not have gagged you, but the Danes will soon be here, and I must be able to speak to them without interruption.”

    “Mmph, mmph!”

   “Do not worry.  I will remove the gag when the time comes so that you will have the chance to make your statement of faith.  But first, you must let me speak to the Danes.”

    “Mmph, mmph, mmph!”

    “Of course I will let you speak with them as well.”

    “Mmph.”

    “When the time comes for us to die as martyrs, in sacrifice for our people.”

    “Mmph, mmph, mmph, mmph!”  (loc. 1508

 

    The first thing Aethelred thought to do, when we arrived at where he was camped with his retainers, was to grab me round the throat and start squeezing.

    “Why didn’t you tell us the Danes had another way out of their camp?” he snarled at me, his eyes popping with rage.  “Are you a traitor, a spy?”

    Normally I would have answered by some jest or pun, or suggested by supercilious silence that the question was beneath my episcopal dignity, but I could not speak due to the king’s hands around my windpipe.  Nor could I affect clerical outrage on account of dangling in the air from my neck.  (loc. 2945)

 

“You know how it is: rumours fly while the truth is stumbling around trying to find the door in the stable.”  (loc. 3660)

    Conrad Monk and the Great Heathen Army is an incredibly clean novel.  I noted just two cusswords in the entire book, which greatly impressed me.  There’s one roll-in-the-hay, but it’s more comical than lewd.  And a prince gets urinated upon, but that was an accident.

 

    A lot of the storyline is devoted to Conrad’s glib tongue and his ability to spin persuasive lines of malarkey to Danes and Saxons alike.  This means there’s not a lot of action at first, which is surprising, given the all the warfare going or around our heroes.  But things build to a suitably-exciting climactic battle at the end, which should satisfy those readers (including me) who like thrills-&-spills in their historical fiction novels.

 

    7½ Stars.  The Epilogue hints at a sequel to Conrad Monk and the Great Heathen Army.  Wessex still stands but the Danes control the rest of 9^th-century England.  Some plot threads are left dangling for Brothers Conrad and Odo to address in their semi-roguish, semi-pious ways.  However ANAICT, their next escapade has not been penned yet.  Hopefully Edoardo Albert is working on it.

The Nix - Nathan Hill

     2016; 625 pages.  New Author? : Yes.  Genres : Dark Comedy; Family Secrets.  Laurels: 2016 Art Seidenbaum Award for First Fiction – Los Angeles Times Book Prize (winner), NBCC Leonard Award for Best Debut of the Year (nominated).  Overall Rating : 9*/10.

 

    It’s 2011, and Samuel Anderson is doing pretty good in life.  He’s an assistant professor of English at the Illinois university called “Chicago Circle”, striving to impart a spark of excitement for classic literature in college students whose interest is generally limited to doing just enough to pass his course for their Humanities credit.

 

    Since he's a nerdy English teacher, it’s not surprising that Samuel’s favorite pastime is playing an internet roleplaying game called Elfscape for hours on end.  He’s gotten pretty good at it, although the real pro is one of his fellow gamers known as “Pwnage”.  Samuel mostly plays the game at home during evening hours, although he occasionally sneaks online to play it on his university computer if no one is looking.

 

    Samuel is also an aspiring author, and was talented enough to receive a significant cash advance from a publishing company after winning a high school writing contest some years back.  Alas, his publishers are getting impatient, having waited several years now for him to write a bestselling debut novel for them.  But perhaps Samuel’s writer’s block is due to a dark secret he’s been carrying for years.

 

   Long ago, his mother deserted him and his father.  No warning, no reason given.  She packed her bags, kissed young Samuel on the forehead, split the scene in the middle of the night, and never returned.  Where could she be?

 

    Samuel’s about to get an answer to that.  Some crazy lady’s just been arrested for assaulting a presidential candidate after throwing rocks at him in a Chicago public park.  Yes, it might be a coincidence - someone with the same name as Samuel’s mom.  But let’s be real here, how many other people can there be named Faye Andresen-Anderson?

 

What’s To Like...

   The main storyline in The Nix follows the efforts made by Samuel to learn why his mom ran off years ago, but there are long detours into the lives of several secondary characters, namely Bishop, Bethany, Samuel’s grandfather Frank/Fridtjof, Alice, and Pwnage.  The book is divided into ten parts, with varying numbers of chapters in each of those (89 chapters total), and with the time settings bouncing around between 2011 (the book’s present-day), 1988, and 1968.  Samuel meets his mom in Part 3, but that conversation mostly generates more questions instead of answering some things.

 

    I’d describe the writing style as “Proustian” – long, run-on sentences abound that are surprisingly easy to follow (unlike Proust’s), but nevertheless make for slow reading.  Indeed, in one chapter (Part 8.3) with only two sentences: the first one is eight words long; the second one spreads out over ten pages or so. Kerouac would be jealous.

 

    The mammoth sentence is just one a number of literary capers that Nathan Hill uses.  Other examples: a.) chronicling the thoughts going on in the head of a person suffering from Alzheimer's; b.) discussing the four types of problems and/or people (see below); c.) detailing the sixteen ways to defend yourself if you're caught by your professor plagiarizing an essay for a homework assignment; and d.) simulating a “Choose Your Own Adventure” for Samuel, leaving the reader to guess its last choice.

 

    If this all sounds confusingly complex, fear not: despite The Nix being Nathan Hill’s debut novel, the writing is masterly.  I suspect the 1968 protests in Chicago at the Democratic National Convention, which figure prominently into the storyline, are before his time, although he seems to want to keep his age a secret – neither Wikipedia nor Amazon lists it.  Yet that was during my college years, and I felt he captured the mood perfectly.  Ditto for his descriptions of things like college dormitory living, the “free love” era in the late 60s, and the grittiness of going on patrol during the occupation of Iraq.

 

    I also loved the way Nathan Hill works an incredible amount of trivia into the story.  There are a slew of Book, Music, and Video Game references, including Allen Ginsburg (who is also a character in the book), Basho, Phil Ochs, Sun Ra, Max Bruch (who?), Mega Man, and Missile Command.  The “Chucky the Camel and the Campbell’s soup can” incident is both surreal and enlightening.  Things like the drowning stone, the “maarr”, TMJ, Max Bruch, and the pronunciation of “Pwnage” were new to me.  I liked that things like solfege, sulfides, and synesthesia got mentioned, and I suspect that things such as Molly Miller, the iFeel social app, and the “Pleisto Diet” are all products of the author's fertile imagination.

 

    The ending is twisty, eye-opening, and heartwarming.  Samuel’s life has definitely changed, hopefully for the better.  Things stop a t a logical point, but very few plot threads are tied up.  That doesn't surprise or disappoint me – if you’re telling a story of a family, it is more realistic to end with “they continued on” than “they all lived happily ever after”.  What did impress me was Nathan Hill’s ability to tie all the plot threads together into a coherent conclusion.  The life stories of Pwnage, Laura, Faye, Samuel, Frank, and Bethany all merge together seamlessly.

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Prognathic (adj.) : having jaws or mouth parts that project forward to a marked degree.

Others: Concomitant (adj);  Panopticon (n); Pullulation (n); TMJ (acronym).

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.2/5 based on 1,391 ratings.

    Goodreads: 4.07/5 based on 60,804 ratings and 7,580 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    “You can’t fail me because it’s the law.”

    “This meeting is over.”

    “You can’t fail me because I have a learning disability.”

    “You do not have a learning disability.”

    “I do.  I have trouble paying attention and keeping deadlines and reading and also I don’t make friends.”

    “That’s not true.”

    “It is true.  You can check.  It’s documented.”

    “What is the name of your learning disability?”

    “They don’t have a name for it yet.”

    “That’s convenient.”  (loc. 881)

 

    They wondered how many people would be showing up for the protest.  Five thousand?  Ten thousand?  Fifty thousand?  He told them a story.

    “Two men went into a garden,” he said.  “The first man began to count the mango trees, and how many mangoes each tree bore, and what the approximate value of the whole orchard might be.  The second man plucked some fruit and ate it.  Now which, do you think, was the wiser of these two?”

    The kids all looked at him, eyes as blank as lambs.

    “Eat mangoes!” he said.  (loc. 7512)

 

 

Kindle Details…

    Right now, The Nix sells for $12.99 at Amazon.  I felt very fortunate to find it when it was temporarily on discount a couple months ago.  This appears to be Nathan Hill’s only novel to date, which surprises me in light of The Nix’s phenomenal reception back in 2016.

 

“Any problem in a video game or in life is one of four things: an enemy, obstacle, puzzle, or trap.  That’s it.  Everyone you meet in life is one of those four things.” (loc. 3382)

    The quibbles are minor.  The reason for the book’s title eludes me.  A “nix” is a gnomish fairy-tale creature, and its presence in the story is tenuous at best.  There’s a “Discussion Questions” section in the back of the book, and is first one is “why the title”?  If I was in Samuel’s “Intro to Lit” class, I'm afraid I'd flunk that essay question.

 

    There’s a fair amount of cussing, and some references to sexual abuse and explicit sexual practices.  I thought it fit in nicely with the mood of the story, but prudes may disagree.  The main plotline, as mentioned, is Samuel’s family investigations, but there were times, such as when we’re riding along with his friend Bishop on patrol in Iraq, when I wondered just where the story was going.

 

    Finally, on an editing note, there seemed to be an equal split between the spellings of protesters/protestors.  Either is correct (English is a goofy language), but you’d think Nathan Hill would’ve chosen one way or the other, not both.  Admittedly, I’m scraping the bottom of the barrel when I’m griping about this sort of thing.

 

    9 Stars.  A great book which lived up to the hype I'd heard about it, and highly recommended.  I’d been wanting to read The Nix for quite some time, but my local libraries never had any copies in stock.  So it was a treat to find it discounted recently at Amazon.

Inspector Hobbes and the Curse - Wilkie Martin

   2013; 355 pages.  Book 2 (out of 4) in the “Unhuman” series.  New Author? : No.  Genre : Dark Humor; Werewolves; Humorous British Detective Cozy Mystery Fantasy.  Overall Rating : 7½*/10.

    Someone – or something – has just killed a sheep.  It sounds like a pretty small, dull crime to investigate, but Andy Caplet tags along with Inspector Hobbes anyway.

    Someone – or something – has been killing pheasants.  Maybe the sheep-killer likes to vary its source of nourishment.  Or maybe the two cases are completely unrelated.  That seems like something that Hobbes should be able to figure out without too much difficulty.

    Skeleton Bob says he saw a huge cat prowling around the countryside last night.  Maybe that’s what’s been killing the critters.  Or maybe Skeleton Bob is trying to throw Hobbes off the track, since he's known to occasionally partake in poaching.  That makes him a prime suspect in all of this.

    There is one very strange facet to the investigation though.  Inspector Hobbes has a nose that’s as good as a bloodhound’s..  No one is quite sure why, and no one wants to ask him about it.  Yet in sniffing around while looking for clues in these killings, Hobbes keeps finding, then losing, the scents.

    Curiouser and curiouser.

What’s To Like...

    Inspector Hobbes and the Curse is the second novel in a (completed?) four-book “paranormal sleuthing” series with Andy playing Dr. Watson to Inspector Hobbes’s Sherlock Holmes.  It is written in the first-person point-of-view, Andy’s, which is entertaining since he’s subject to more pratfalls than a Chevy Chase routine.

    Wilkie Martin neatly weaves a slew of plotlines together, namely:

a.) Who’s killing the sheep and pheasants?

b.) Did Skeleton Bob really see a big cat?

c.) What’s behind the hidden door in Inspector Hobbes’s basement?

d.) Who, or what, are Violet and Felix?

e.) Why would someone want an elephant transported to Brighton?

f.) Who killed the hot-headed neighbor, and why?

g.) Who killed the thug, and why?

h.) Who, or what, is Hobbes?

    I’m happy to say that you'll find all these questions answered in this book, save one.

    The story is set in the present-day greater London area.  There’s a nice variety of critters to meet and flee from, including (but not limited to) werewolves, vampires, troglodytes (huh?) and even a muppet (double-huh?).  Wilkie Martin is British, and it was fun to be “immersed” in English daily life, such as ginger beer, pork rolls with apple sauce, Sugar Puffs, and calling “999” for an emergency instead of “9-1-1”.

    I enjoyed attending the First Annual Grand Sorenchester Music Festival, even if things did get out of hand.  Hobbes and Mrs. Goodfellow say they attended the 1967 Monterrey Festival and hung out with the hippies, so I wonder how the two festivals compare to each other.  And I’m almost tempted to get the audiobook version of this book just  to hear Hobbes do his rendition of Puff, The Magic Dragon.  Amid all the craziness, Wilkie Martin subtly examines some more-serious themes, namely spousal abuse and the manliness of hunting.

    Inspector Hobbes and the Curse is written in English, not American, and there are a slew of new terms for common items to suss out, including: doddle, moggy, jacket potato, pong, fly sheet, footwell, settles, bin liner, skint, bleeper, scarper, AGM, spotty herbert, dust-dancers, cutlery draw, shufti, picnic hamper, stodge, going to the Casualty, skip, ‘having me on’, pebble-dashed, top up, nutters, lay-by, slowcoach, selvedge, tosser, punters, dozy, bacon-butties, and ‘trying it on’. 

    The ending is decent, with an fair amount of excitement mixed with a twist or two to keep everyone on their toes.  A good bottle of wine gets wasted, and some of the baddies get away, but that’s the way the biscuit crumbles, and perhaps those evildoers might appear in the subsequent books.

Kewlest New Word ...

Spotty herbert (n., phrase.) : a foolish person.  (a Britishism)

Others: Moggy (n., British); Doddle (n., British).

Excerpts...

    “He damn near blew my head off once, when I was picking nuts in the woods by his hedge.”

    “Why?” asked Hobbes.

    “Because I like nuts.”

    Hobbes chuckled.  “No, why did he shoot you?”

    “He said he mistook me for a stray dog.”

    “But dogs don’t pick nuts.”

    “That’s what I told him.”  (loc. 5566)

    A tongue of hot red flame hurled him and the door across the cellar and, though it all happened so fast, I’m sure he whooped just before he slammed into the back wall.  There was a deafening roar, a flash of heat and a rumble.

    I picked myself up, coughing in the dust haze.

    “Well,” said Hobbes, standing up, rubbing his elbow, “that would have been more fun if the wall hadn’t got in the way.”  (loc. 10318)

Kindle Details…

    Inspector Hobbes and the Curse presently sells for $4.99 at Amazon.  Books 3 and 4 in this series also go for $4.99, while Book 1 is only $2.99.  Alternatively, you can get Books 1-3 in a bundle (which is how I’m reading these) for $8.09.

“Hanging round crematoriums always gives me an appetite.”  (loc. 7648 )

    There’s nothing major to quibble about in Inspector Hobbes and the Curse.  Wilkie Martin calls this a “Humorous British Detective Cozy Mystery Fantasy” and who am I to argue with him?  Still, if you’re a “cozy” enthusiast, you may find the cussing, which albeit is minimal in quantity, to be out-of-place.

    Also, if you’re reading this book for its mystery element, you may be disappointed.  I figured out the “who did what and how and why” early on.  Andy Caplet is not the brightest bulb in the chandelier, but I found it hard to believe that Inspector Hobbes took so long to figure things out.

    However, all this is nitpicking.  I think it’s better to read Inspector Hobbes and the Curse for its zany “Jeeves-like” humor, not its whodunit.  When you take that approach, you’ll likely find this to be an excellent read.

    7½ Stars.  Subtract ½ Star if you don’t like books written in “English”.  I happen to think it’s a delightful way to learn a "foreign" language.

Driving Me Nuts - P.J. Jones

    2011; 206 pages.  New Author? : No.  Genre : Dark Humor.  Overall Rating : 7*/10.

    Ruckus and Fred sure are a couple of guys who like to live life on the wild side.  For a good time they drive over to the used-book store and then to the Dairy Queen for ice cream.

    Yeah, I know, that doesn’t exactly make you hear “Born To Be Wild” as background music.  But Fred and Ruckus are both inmates at the Shady Grove Home for the Mentally Insane, and leaving the premises is a major no-no.

    To boot, their choice of wheels is a ’69 Mustang convertible, which belongs to Mr. Otis, one of the caretakers at Shady Rest.  And when he’s neck deep in triple tequila peach lime smoothies, he’s in no condition to tell whether anyone is joyriding around in his automobile.  So while Mr. Otis is snoozing, the boys can go cruising.

    But when one of the female inmates horns her way in on the action, you can bet it’s gonna lead to trouble, Especially since she’s got an agenda of revenge.

What’s To Like...

    Driving Me Nuts is a fast and easy read.  The action starts immediately, and continues throughout the whole book.  For the most part, we see things from Ruckus’s POV, with Fred and Apple (the female femme fatale) also getting prominent ink.  There aren’t a lot of other characters to keep track of, but they're an interesting bunch, especially Preacher and Mama Louise.

    Except for the Epilogue, the entire storyline consists of a single night of avenging antics, as Apple squares things away with a number of tormentors from her past.  Fred is little more than a drooling puppy, so it is up to Ruckus to somehow get the threesome, and the ’69 Mustang convertible, back to Shady Grove in one piece and with no one the wiser.  Yeah, like that has any chance of happening.

    This is my third P.J. Jones book; the other two are reviewed here and here.   Of the three, I liked this one the best.  The tone is darker here, and at just over 200 pages, it is the longest book I’ve read by this author, with the most complex storyline of the three.  For me, it was a “broadening” of Ms. Jones’ literary repertoire, even though it predates the other two books.

    There is a lot of cussing, and a bunch of unsavory and/or adult topics such as child molestation, rape, oral sex, jerking off, and erections.  If these offend you, you would be well-advised to stay away from Driving Me Nuts. or any of P.J. Jones’s stories for that matter.  It is her natural genre to write in an R-rated manner.  To do differently would be akin to asking Allen Ginsberg to only write G-rated poems.

    There is a way-kewl Author’s Note at the front of the book.  Despite the multitude of mayhem, the ending ties everything up in a relatively happy manner.  This is a standalone novel; AFAIK, P.J. Jones has not written any series.  Some of us think that’s a plus.

Excerpts...

    Mr. Otis didn’t always break the rules.  Lights out at nine-thirty.  That was one rule Ruckus wished he would bend.  No pissing on lunch trays.  That was another rule.

    One of Ruckus’s biggest pet peeves was inconsistency.  Either break all the rules or none at all.  People and their ‘socially acceptable behavior’ bothered him.  (loc. 69)

    “Are you sure you’re not my dad?”

    “Fred,” Ruckus grumbled.  “Your dad has your green eyes.  Garth Vader has brown eyes.”

    Vader straightened his bony shoulders and puffed up his chest.  “Do you find fault with my anatomy?”

    “Brown is nice,” Fred interjected.  “Brown is the color of tree branches.”

    Vader nodded.  “And the stain in my intergalactic underpants.”  (loc. 1022)

Kindle Details...

    Driving Me Nuts sells for $2.99 at Amazon.  P.J. Jones has a number of other books available for the Kindle, ranging from $0.99 to $3.99.  She is also part of “The Eclective”, a group of short story writers, and many of their anthology offerings are free.

“I don’t recall proliferating any life forms on this planet.”  (loc. 1022)

    There are some minor quibbles.  I thought there were a couple sections that could've been strengthened by "showing” instead of “telling”.  And the writing style might best be described as “very straightforward”.  Some additional polishing would’ve made this a really delightful read.

     But, as with the R-rated stuff, this is all inherent to the author’s writing style.  The added polishing and showing would be technical improvements, but perhaps in the end, it just wouldn’t be the real P.J.

    7 Stars.  Don’t let the quibbles dissuade you from reading Driving Me Nuts.  The bottom line is that I found it to be fast-paced, both dark and funny (a somewhat dicey combination of genres), and the most ambitious literary effort yet that I’ve read by P.J. Jones.