Stormy Weather - Carl Hiaasen

   1995; 384 pages.  Book 3 (out of 7) in the “Skink” series.  New Author? : No.  Genres : Crime–Humor; Florida Crime-Noir; Beach Novel; Satire.  Overall Rating: 8½*/10.

 

    It’s probably not a good idea to book a week’s vacation in Florida during hurricane season.  But that’s what honeymooners Max and Bonnie Lamb did.

 

    And sure enough, a killer hurricane—the weatherman called it the nastiest one in years—just ripped through the Miami area, wreaking havoc on everything in its path.  That’s okay though, since Bonnie and Max are staying at Disney World, a couple hundred miles north of all the destruction.

 

    Now Max has a romantic idea: let’s drive down to Miami and videotape the aftermath of the storm’s fury.  We’ll concentrate on house trailers.  If we’re lucky we might even film some dead bodies.  Maybe we can sell the footage to CNN.

 

    Besides, the storm is no longer in the area.  What possible harm can come of this?

 

What’s To Like...

    Stormy Weather is the third book in Carl Hiaasen’s Florida noir “Skink” series.  Skink is hands down my favorite Carl Hiaasen character; he’s a former governor of Florida who suddenly quit one day and disappeared into the swamps and marshes.  But he's still alive and well, a fact he trusts with only a very few companions.

 

    Several people in Stormy Weather get killed in addition to the hurricane victims, but this is not a whodunit.   The reader witnesses who the perpetrators are, and the fun is guessing which ones will pay for their misdeeds, and which ones will get away.  You might be surprised by some of those outcomes.

 

    A bunch of storylines are quickly introduced, staffed by a bunch of quirky characters.  Carl Hiaasen then jumbles up both plots and people, and mirthful mayhem ensues.  In the hands of a lesser author this might get tedious and confusing, by Hiaasen handles it deftly.  A couple of budding romances also pop up, but this doesn’t overshadow the book’s main genre: humorous Florida crime-fiction.

 

    The ending has a couple of neat twists, and does a good job of tying up all the story threads.  True love wins out, Skink disappears back into the hinterlands, and after the requisite insurance claims have been filed, repairs commence on homes and house trailers.  Owners can rest assured that their domiciles are now “hurricane-proof”.

    Yeah, sure.

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Plangently (adv.) : in a loud, reverberating, and melancholy way.

Others: Spavined (adj.).

 

Excerpts...

    “She tried to cut out my kidneys one night in the shower.”

    “That’s the scar on your back?  The Y.”

    “At least she wasn’t a urologist.”  He closed the book and picked up the channel changer for the television.

    Bonnie said, “You cheated on her.”

    “Nope, but she thought I did.  She also thought the bathtub was full of centipedes, Cuban spies were spiking her lemonade, and Richard Nixon was working the night shift at the Farm Store on Bird Road.”

    “Drug problem?”

    “Evidently.”  (pg. 91)

 

    He lifted her chin.  “This is not a well person.  This is a man who put a shock collar on your husband, a man who gets high off frog slime.  He’s done things you don’t want to know about, probably even killed people/”

    “At least he believes in something.”

    “Good Lord, Bonnie.”

    “Then why are you here?  If he’s so dangerous, if he’s so crazy—”

    “Who said he was crazy.”  (pg. 224)

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.4*/5, based on 3,109 ratings and 418 reviews.

    Goodreads: 3.97*/5, based on 18,108 ratings and 1,078 reviews.

 

“The world doesn’t stop for a hurricane.”  “No, (…) but it wobbles.”  (pg. 68)

    The text of Stormy Weather is rife with profanity.  I counted 43 instances in the first 10% of the book, which extrapolates out to a gazillion or so.  There are also a number of references to “adult situations” and some racial pejoratives.

 

    But that’s just par for the course for a Carl Hiaasen novel.  This is my ninth novel by him, and I really like his storytelling and writing style.  The plotlines are complex, yet not confusing.  The action is fast-paced.  The satire is witty.  Best of all are the author’s perspectives on the business activities in his native state, warts and all.  And let’s face it, Florida being battered by hurricanes is an annual occurrence.  You can view that as a chronic drawback, but enterprising souls will see it as opportunities get rich quick via what some people might call scams and rip-offs.

 

    8½ Stars.  Here’s a Spanglish phrase that cropped up in the story: “Sale del carro con los manos arriba!”  Look up its translation.  It may come in handy someday.