Wednesday, April 28, 2021

How The World Works - Noam Chomsky

   2011; 314 pages.  New Author? : Yes.  Interviewer: David Barsamian.  Editor: Arthur Naiman.  Genres : Political Science; History; Democracy; Interviews.  Overall Rating : 7½*/10.

 

   The United States of America.  Land of the free, Home of the brave.  A shining example of a successful democracy, although some nitpickers will tell you that we’re technically a republic.

 

    We've been taught that our purpose in life is to show the rest of the world that they too can be as wonderful as we are.  With liberty for all, and the freedom to choose whatever leaders they think will best govern their nation.  Ok, brave new world, that has such a nation as the USA in it!

 

    But what if the stuff we were taught in our US History and High School Civics classes is a bunch of hooey?  What if we actually live in a country where a powerful few control the government and its policies, and what we think of as a free election is really just a choice between two candidates both of whom will do whatever those powerful few tell them to and the heck with the opinions of the rest of us?

 

    Nah, that’s silly.  That’s something only the wacko conspiracy nuts would dream up.  We’d surely know if we, “the 98%”, were being duped, right?

 

    Noam Chomsky begs to differ.  He says we’re being brainwashed.  And that we don’t have any idea of how the world works.

 

What’s To Like...

    How The World Works is a 2011 compilation of four of Noam Chomsky’s earlier “short political books”.  They are:


        What Uncle Sam Really Wants  (1992)

        The Prosperous Few and the Restless Many  (1993)

        Secrets, Lies and Democracy  (1994)

        The Common Good  (1998)


    The text of How The World Works is only 314 pages long, which gives you some idea of how short those four individual books are.

 

    Noam Chomsky identifies himself as an “anarcho-syndicalist” and a “libertarian-socialist”.  Wikipedia has pages for both those labels, the links are here and here.  I found his views to be a curious mix of both left-wing and right-wing radical politics.

 

    On one hand, he’s convinced the world is being run by the IMF (International Monetary Fund), which has been a far-right pet theme since way back in their "John Birch" era.  Chomsky also has low opinions of both John F. Kennedy and Bill Clinton, much preferring the politics of Ross Perot.  On the other hand, he’s a staunch supporter of labor unions, the working class, and the Third World, and is unabashedly anti-imperialist.  These are all left-leaning positions.

 

    The text is mostly taken from a series of interviews done in the 1990’s (plus several of essays, I gather), which were then edited, abridged, and clarified to make them more reader-friendly.  “Clarified” doesn’t mean “altered”; it means things like when the text reads “President Bush”, it gets changed to “[first] President Bush]”.  Some of the questions sound like Noam Chomsky penned them beforehand and gave them to the interviewer, but that’s okay.

 

    Some of the topics are unavoidably a bit outdated at times – things like Nicaragua, Chile, the Cold War.  Even "SNCC", an acronym that anyone under the age of 50 probably won’t recognize, gets a brief mention.  I was surprised to see that the PBS channel gets criticized by the author, but delighted to “meet” Amilcar Cabral, a Guinean anti-colonialist with (essentially) the same name as this blog’s writer.

 

    I didn’t agree with all of Noam Chomsky’s opinions, such as his take on the Gulf War precipitated by Saddam Hussein’s invasion of Kuwait.  He’s also very much anti-Israel when it comes to the issue of Palestine.  I am not pro-Israel either, but Chomsky’s view makes it a black-or-white issue, and the Middle East situation is certainly a lot more complex than that.

 

    Still, it was fun to fact-check him via Wikipedia, and without a doubt, this book will give any reader a lot to think about.  There are enough historical examples of the US allying with despots to quell freedom movements (Vietnam, Chile, Nicaragua), to prove that the “American history” we are fed in school has been thoroughly whitewashed.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.5/5 based on 604 ratings.

    Goodreads: 4.15/5 based on 3,209 ratings and 274 reviews

 

Excerpts...

    As far as American business is concerned, Nicaragua could disappear and nobody would notice.  The same is true of El Salvador.  But both have been subjected to murderous assaults by the US, at a cost of hundreds of thousands of lives and many billions of dollars.

    There’s a reason for that.  The weaker and poorer a country is, the more dangerous it is as an example.  If a tiny, poor country like Grenada can succeed in bringing about a better life for its people, some other place that has more resources will ask, “Why not us?”  (loc. 400)

 

    Statistics about things like the quality of life, infant mortality, life expectancy, etc. are usually broken down by race.  It always turns out that blacks have horrible statistics as compared with whites.

    But an interesting study was done by Vicente Navarro, a professor at Johns Hopkins who works on public health issues.  He decided to reanalyze the statistics, separating out the factors of race and class.  For example, he looked at white workers and black workers versus white executives and black executives.  He discovered that much of the difference between blacks and whites was actually a class difference.  If you look at poor white workers and white executives, the gap between them is enormous.  (loc. 2146)

 

The problem with real democracies is that they’re likely to fall prey to the heresy that government should respond to the needs of their own population, instead of those of US investors.  (loc. 370)

    There are some quibbles.  From least important to most:

 

    There’s a 20-page Index in the back of the e-book, which would be really handy if you wanted to revisit a topic and/or quote from the book.  Unfortunately, there are no page numbers listed, and no links, rendering it essentially useless.

 

    There’s a lot of repetition and overlap.  But that’s to be expected since How The World Works is really just a four earlier books by the author squashed together.  What Noam Chomsky has to say about, say, China in a 1992 interview is not going change much when he's asked about it in a 1993 interview.

 

    Similarly, there’s not a lot of actual facts and references to substantiate the author’s claims of skullduggery.  He’ll mention that he read some book at some point in the past, which supports the point he’s trying to make, but he provides no direct quotes from it.  However, since most of the text is from an interview he's giving, that’s not surprising.  I expect someone writing a book to back up his allegations with hard facts, but I don’t expect someone giving a speech or an interview to do so.

 

    Overall, How The World Works gave me lots to think about but not much documentation to support its controversial assertions.  Perhaps some of Noam Chomsky’s other political science books do.  He’s written and published about a hundred such tomes.

 

    7½ Stars.  Noam Chomsky has also written 50+ books on Linguistics, several of which reside on my Kindle.  I'm leaning towards tackling one of those next.

Friday, April 23, 2021

Postmortem - Patricia Cornwell

    1990; 342 pages.  New Author? : No, but it’s been a while.  Book #1 (out of 24, soon to be 25) in the Kay Scarpetta series.  Genres : Serial Killer Thriller; Medical Thriller; Crime Fiction.  Laurels: Edgar Award (1991) – Best First Novel (winner).   Overall Rating: 9*/10.

 

    The city of Richmond, Virginia is in panic mode.  A serial rapist/killer is on the loose, the kind who likes to break into women’s bedrooms, tie them up, assault them, and then strangle them to death.

 

    Victim Number Four has just been found, and it is particularly embarrassing for the city police department.  It appears she heard the intruder and called 9-1-1 just before he broke into her house.  But the call was deemed a low-emergency, assigned a “priority four”, and it was a couple hours before a patrol car passed by her house.  By then the crime was committed, the house was dark, and the officer reported that everything seemed normal.

 

    The blowback on this goof-up by the police could be monumental.  There’s only one thing to do: find a scapegoat, someone unpopular within the department, and shift the blame and the focus there.  But who to pick?

 

    How ‘bout that mouthy new Chief Medical Examiner, Kay Scarpetta?

 

What’s To Like...

    Postmortem is the first book in Patricia Cornwell’s long-running “Kay Scarpetta” series, wherein we follow the examinations and investigations of a 40-year-old medical examiner in Richmond.  Kay is an “anti-hero hero”, which is my favorite kind of protagonist.  She smokes, is divorced, has family issues, and drinks, the latter including a glass of scotch almost every night when she gets home from work.  Amazingly, she’s not burnt out, but hey, she’s still new at her job.

 

    There’s a bunch of plot threads to follow, including (and without spoilers):

a.) Who’s killing these women in Richmond?

b.) Who’s leaking Medical Examiner information to the press?

c.) What’s with the glitter and the odor?

d.) How does the killer know when there are unlocked windows at the victims’ houses?

e.) Is there some hidden link between the victims, or are the killings random?

f.) Who’s been hacking into Kay’s computer and planting phony samples in the fridge?

g.) Who was the intended target in the Victim #5 case?

    All these threads were surprisingly easy to follow and keep straight.  Patricia Cornwell’s storytelling is Just. That. Good.

 

    Being an analytical chemist, I found the forensic chemistry details fascinating.  I also enjoyed stepping back in time to the 1990s, particularly the “ancient technology” in use back then.  Data storage is done via floppy disks, and company intranets were just getting started.  Gas stations still offer “full service”, and typewriters are as common as word processors when it came to writing up reports.  When you turned your computer on, the opening screen shows a “C prompt” because MS-DOS is the main operating system, and your reports are printed out on that ghastly green-and-white striped paper.  The police use tape recorders, not cell phones, to record conversations, and then transfer anything valuable to reel-to-reel.  My, how things have changed.

 

    I liked the character development.  The pesky newspaper reporter is not pure evil, the autopsy technician has to cope with being gay back when “coming out” involved considerable risk, and Kay's boyfriend is an attorney for state of Virginia, which makes them both vulnerable for conflict-of-interest issues.  The most interesting character of all was the cop, Sgt. Pete Marino, who is forced into having Kay as his de facto partner, a role neither one is crazy about.  Last but not least, for those of you who are Hallmark Christmas movie junkies, there’s a precocious ten-year-old girl, Kay’s niece Lucy.  Every Hallmark Christmas movie has a precocious little girl in it.

 

    Things build to an exciting ending, which includes a couple of neat twists.  The story is more of a police procedural than a whodunit.  The last 14 pages serve as an epilogue, neatly tying up some plotline loose ends.  Postmortem is told in the first-person POV (Kay’s), and is a standalone story in addition to being the start of a series that is still going strong after 31 years.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.6*/5, based on 2,268 ratings.

    Goodreads: 4.01*/5, based on 221,386 ratings and 3,068 reviews

 

Things That Sound Dirty But Aren’t…

    “She’s slow to warm up this morning. … So am I, for that matter.”

 

Excerpts...

    “If it’s a serial killer, Dr. Scarpetta, doesn’t that indicate it’s quite likely to happen again?”

    As if they wanted it to happen again.

    “Is it true you found bite marks on the last victim, Doc?”

    It wasn’t true, but no matter how I answered such a question I couldn’t win.  “No comment,” and they assume it’s true.  “No,” and the next edition reads “Dr. Kay Scarpetta denies that bite marks have been found on the victims’ bodies…”  The killer, who’s reading the papers like everybody else, gets a new idea.  (pg. 4)

 

    “This is Dr. Scarpetta, chief medical examiner in Virginia.”

    “Oh.  You grant licenses to physicians, then─̶”

    “No.  We investigate deaths.”

    A pause.  “You mean a coroner?”

    There was no point in explaining that, no, I was not a coroner.  Coroners are elected officials.  They usually aren’t forensic pathologists.  You can be a gas station attendant and get elected coroner in some states.  (pg. 207)

 

I examined his wife.  I literally held her heart in my hands.  (pg. 140 )

    There are some quibbles, but nothing serious.  First of all, keep in mind the being a medical examiner is not a job for the squeamish, and neither is reading a book about one.  Corpses get cut open and examined, inside and out, and odors from doing this are the norm in the workplace.

 

    None of the murders take place on-screen, but it is the duty of the state medical examiner to get to the crime scene as quickly as possible to make firsthand observations, and the reader gets to accompany as she does that.

 

    The break in the case – the recovery of a piece of clothing – seemed a tad bit too convenient, ditto for the fact that the perp has a rare medical condition.  But maybe those are the types of lucky breaks that lead to the catching the baddy in real life.  For instance, if you go to Wikipedia, and read about the (real) “BTK killer”, who only got caught because he didn’t realize that even when you erase a floppy disk, the original data is actually still there.

 

    Finally, if you’re a serial killer trying to avoid arrest, DO NOT attempt to make the main person pursuing you your next victim!  Not in real life; not in a book!  Even though it makes for an exciting ending.

 

    9 Stars.  Don’t let my quibbles deter you from picking up Postmortem.  I found it to be a spine-tingling thriller, with a wonderful set of characters, and I got a great “feel” for the life of a medical examiner.  I’ve only read one other book from this series, Black Notice (Book 10), and that was back in 2015 (the review is here), but I now have a couple more of the books on my Kindle, and I’m looking forward to getting better acquainted with the series.

Saturday, April 17, 2021

Paint Your Dragon - Tom Holt

   1996; 312 pages.  New Author? : No.  Genres : Mythopoeic Fantasy; Humorous Fantasy; Satire.  Overall Rating : 8*/10.

 

    Saint George and the Dragon.

 

    Everybody knows the legend.  On one hand we have the hero, clad in shining armor and wielding a gleaming sword.  On the other hand, we have the beast, covered in impregnable scales, sporting claws that can slash through anything, and breathing white-hot fire.  Sometimes there’s also a princess that needs rescuing, sometimes not.  Sometimes the dragon is hoarding ill-gotten jewels, sometimes not.

 

    It’s the classic case of Good vs. Evil, and in order to be a heroic saga, Evil must, at least on the surface, objectively be the heavy favorite.  It’s five times the size of our puny knight, and its weapons and body-plating should easily carry the day.

 

    But of course, it doesn’t.  Against all odds, the knight wins, not because he’s faster or more powerful than the dragon, but because he’s nobler and purer and whatnot.  In short, because he is the embodiment of Good.  So says the tale, and hey, the winners get to write the legends.

 

    But what if the dragon was actually the good guy …er… beast?  What if the knight wins because he cheats?  And what if that only comes to light centuries later?

 

    There’s only one thing to do:  Arrange a rematch.

 

What’s To Like...

    Paint Your Dragon is another cleverly-contrived mythopoeic novel by Tom Holt in which he blurs the Good-vs-Evil aspect from a famous historical myth and creates an entertaining reevaluation of the story.  Holt wrote about 20 of these in the 1987-2002 timespan, I’ve read about half of those, and I’ve yet to be disappointed by any of them.

 

    The tale has the usual structure for his books in this genre: we follow multiple and widely-disparate storylines which keep us wondering if and how he’s ever going to coherently tie them together.  Here the main storyline is of course St. George and the Dragon, but a talented sculptress is then added to liven things up.  Then other plotlines arise: a “time-marketer” in England who will sell you extra time at an exorbitant price; a busload of demons heading to Nashville for a much-needed vacation; sixteen statues in Italy (including Michelangelo’s “David”); and a speck of dust which somehow acts as the puppet-master in all the mayhem.

 

    The tale is set for the most part in England (Birmingham gets major billing), with brief excursions to Italy and Mongolia.  As always, there is an abundance of Tom Holt's wit and zaniness to keep you entertained.  Some of the characters die, but death here is a rather temporary thing.  Body-snatching abounds, of both the animate and inanimate kinds.  You’ll learn how to go forward and backward in time (Holt’s physics is easier to grasp than Quantum physics), how many angels can dance of the head of a pin (hint: it depends on what dance they’re doing), and why you don’t see dragons nowadays.

 

    The book is written in English, not American, so besides the usual spelling differences, you meet pillocks with holdalls; and keep shtum so you don’t get nutted.  People can be dozy or cozzy and things can be naff.  You’re expected to know who Alf Garnett is, greet others with “Wotcher!”, cry out “Strewth!” if you're surprised, and keep studying this strange language for yonks.

 

    The story has a typical Tom Holt ending: he somehow manages to deftly tie up all those plotlines, and wraps things up in an unpredictable manner.  Like the rest of Tom Holt’s mythopoeic tales, this is a standalone novel, with no sequel needed.

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Meretricious (adj.) : apparently attractive but having in reality no value or integrity.

Others: Parthenogenetically (adv.); Banjax (n.); Myrmidon (n.); and many others.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.5*/5, based on 20 ratings.

    Goodreads: 3.76*/5, based on 615 ratings and 23 reviews.

 

Things that Sound Dirty but Aren’t…

    Please, can I put my clothes back on now, Miss Frobisher?  I’m going blue.” (loc. 3478)

 

Excerpts...

    He [Dragon George Cody] it was who first justified the clearances by saying that the knights stood for good and the dragons stood for evil, and, in his own terms, he was right.  The knights were, after all, soldiers of the Church, ultimately searching for the Grail, and the dragons were getting in the way and, by deviously getting killed and eaten by the locals, giving aid and comfort to the hostile tribesmen.  Besides, George pointed out, dragons burn towns and demand princesses as ransom.

    The dragons, referring to the Siege of Jerusalem, the Sack of Constantinople and a thousand years of dynastic marriages, said, Look who’s talking.  But rarely twice.  (loc. 866)

 

    There’s an urban folk-myth that says that every time a child says he doesn’t believe in dragons, somewhere a dragon dies.  This is unlikely, because if it was true, we’d spend half our lives shovelling thirty-foot corpses out of the highways with dumper trucks and the smell would be intolerable.  Slightly more credible is the quaint folk-theorem that says that the higher up and away you go, the less rigid and hidebound the rules become; it’s something to do with relativity, and it limps by for the simple reason that it’s far more trouble than it’s worth to disprove it.  (loc. 4984)

 

You can get paranoid, thinking too hard about coincidences.  (loc. 2472 )

    The quibbles are few and nitpicky.  There is some cussing - 16 instances in the first 20% - but a lot of time the made-up cussword “shopfloor” is substituted, as in “What the shopfloor!?”.

 

    Some reviewers complained that following all those plotlines got confusing.  There’s some merit to this, but if you've read any of Tom Holt's novels before, you're aware that this is his usual style, and you don’t open the book when you’re dead tired.

 

    Finally, if you were hoping for a tie-in to the musical and/or film, Paint Your Wagon, ANAICT, there is none.  Then again, I’ve never watched either version of PYW, so what do I know.

  

    8 StarsPaint Your Dragon is another great piece of story-retelling by Tom Holt.  It entertained me throughout and also raises some interesting questions about – beyond the telling of St. George and the Dragon – how blindly you should trust those "winners" in history who then purport to write an objective account of the matter.   More to follow concerning that in a bit, via a review of my first book by Noam Chomsky.

Monday, April 12, 2021

Blood Meridian - Cormac McCarthy

   1985; 351 pages.  Full Title: Blood Meridian or The Evening Redness in the West.  New Author? : No.  Genres : Westerns; Historical Fiction.   Overall Rating: 7*/10.

 

    Perhaps now's a good time for our protagonist, "the kid", to heed the advice of Horace Greeley and “Go west, young man”.  It’s 1847, and he’s only fourteen years old, but Tennessee holds no future for him, and anywhere west of Memphis sounds like the Land of Opportunity.  So he opts to run away from home.

 
    Somehow the kid survives, and two years later he joins a band of mercenaries led by a man named Glanton, albeit mostly to avoid spending the rest of his life in prison.  Glanton’s gang makes its money by collecting bounties on Apache scalps of any kind: male or female, young or old, warrior or civilian; and it’s kind of hard to tell an Apache scalp from any other Indian scalp, or even a Mexican scalp for that matter.

 

    So saddle up, kid, and be sure to practice your shooting.  Scalp-hunters aren't very popular with anyone, and if the locals won’t sell you their food, you’ve no choice but to forcibly take it from them.  You do what you have to in order to go on living, and you get used to leaving piles of corpses in your wake.

 

    Don’t let it bother you that the line between right and wrong often becomes very blurry.

 

What’s To Like...

    Cormac McCarthy is best known for his 2006 post-apocalyptic novel The RoadBlood Meridian is an earlier effort, published in 1985; it originally got a lukewarm reception but with time gained literary respect, to the point of where many now view it as the McCarthy's magnum opus.


    The overall timespan of the book is 1847-1878, the majority of the book covers a single year: 1849.  It is a pivotal year in the kid’s life, and most of the action takes place south of the border, often around the city of Chihuahua.  I liked the "feel" that Cormac McCarthy’s descriptions create for northern Mexico in those tumultuous days.  The three warring factions – the Apaches, the Mexicans, and the American guns-for-hire - are about equal in fighting strength and none of them trust the others one bit.  McCarthy portrays them all in an equal moral light, and I liked that.  When others are trying to kill you and food is scarce; there is no room for noble qualities, no matter what your ethnicity.

 

    Wikipedia says the theme of Blood Meridian is “the warlike nature of man”, and I’m inclined to agree.  There’s tons of violence in all sorts of forms: rape, murder, torture, scalping, fighting, starving, and even decapitation.  This is not a book for the squeamish.  The dying is not limited to the combatants – women, children, and babies are slain alongside the men, and any animal that wanders into this story is almost certainly about to die.

 

    Scalp-hunting is a dangerous profession and a lot less lucrative than you’d think.  Casualties run high in Glanton's militia and the remnants of the gang eventually drift north into the present-day American Southwest, making stops at Tucson, the Yuma ferry crossing, and San Diego.  By the end of that trek, the gang no longer exists; it’s every gunslinger for himself.

 

    The book is a wordsmith's delight – McCarthy sees no reason to use an everyday word when a high-falootin’ one is available, and it works quite well here.  Unsurprisingly, a lot of the dialogue is in conversational Spanish, given the settings.  McCarthy rarely supplies a translation of it, but I was usually able to suss out what was being said.

 

    I chuckled at the “Better Living Through Chemistry” lessons - when the gang runs out of gunpowder, a batch is made from the surrounding elements, and later on, when a medical knock-out agent is needed, the new wonder-drug of the times, ether, is used.  The fortune-telling scene involving tarot cards was interesting, and while I already knew about Fredonia, I had to look up Gnadenhutten in Wikipedia.  Finally, for the second time this year and my life, “charivari” showed up in the book I was reading.

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Jornada (n.) : an arduous usually one-day journey across a stretch of desert.

Others: Parricide (n.); Sprent (v); and dozens more.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.5*/5, based on 3,949 ratings.

    Goodreads: 4.16*/5, based on 113,698 ratings and 10,215 reviews

 

Excerpts...

    “I said are you quits?”

    “Quits?”

    “Quits.  Cause if you want some more of me you sure as hell goin’ to get it.”

    He looked at the sky.  Very high, very small, a buzzard.  He looked at the man.  “Is my neck broke?” he said.

    The man looked out over the lot and spat and looked at the boy again.  “Can you not get up?”

    “I don’t know.  I ain’t tried.”

    “I never meant to break your neck.”

    “No.”

    “I meant to kill ye.”  (pg. 10)

 

    “So what is the way of raising a child?”

    “At a young age,” said the judge, “they should be put in a pit with wild dogs.  They should be set to puzzle out from their proper clues the one of three doors that does not harbor wild lions.  They should be made to run naked in the desert until…”

    “Hold now,” said Tobin.  “The question was put in all earnestness.”

    “And the answer,” said the judge.  “If God meant to interfere in the degeneracy of mankind would he not have done so by now?  Wolves cull themselves, man.  What other creature could?  And is the race of man not more predacious yet?”  (pg. 153)

 

“I was afraid I was goin’ to die and then I was afraid I wasn’t.”  (pg. 74 )

    Blood Meridian was a slow, difficult read for me.  Cormac McCarthy has a unique writing style that you’ll either love or hate.  The use of quotation marks, apostrophes, and hyphens is taboo; and capitalizing proper nouns is arbitrary.  For the sake of clarity and my own grammar OCD-ness, I added them in the excerpts above.  Run-on sentences proliferate; and each chapter starts with a bunch of little notes that annoyingly (for me, anyway) give away any surprises that are about to occur.

 

    Then there are the lengthy landscape descriptions.  Yes, they set the scene, but the plotline stagnates while you read about the countryside, and this got tedious after a while.  There’s only so many new ways you can describe the Sonora desert and the mountains that surround it.

 

    After more than 250 pages being devoted to the events of 1849, the next three decades of the kid's life are squeezed into a mere 30, and the story grinds to a rather ambiguous ending.  The kid runs into an old acquaintance in a bar in Texas; a philosophical discussion ensues; and a mess is made in the outhouse.  Exactly what that mess consists of is not disclosed; the reader is left to draw his own conclusion.  Things wrap up with an epilogue that even Wikipedia doesn’t try to explain.

 

    7 Stars.  If you can make it through all the gore and tedium of the scalp-hunting campaign in Mexico, you'll arrive at the Yuma ferry crossing, where the pacing picks up nicely, and the storyline becomes very interesting.  Alas, even that blessing is relatively short-lived, nevertheless I'd still call Blood Meridian a worthwhile read.  I’ve never been keen on the traditional "Hollywood western" genre, and here the setting and time period were refreshingly different.  The book's back cover blurb notes the story is “based on historical events”, and since I’m a history buff, I ended up enjoying it, despite the weird writing style and interminable descriptions.

Tuesday, April 6, 2021

Inspector Hobbes and the Gold Diggers - Wilkie Martin

   2014; 293 pages.  Book 3 (out of 4) in the “Unhuman” series.  New Author? : No.  Genre : Dark Humor; Paranormal Fiction; Humorous British Detective; Cozy Mystery.  Overall Rating : 8*/10.

 

    Someone tried to swipe all the gold in Grossman’s Bank!  Fortunately, Inspector Hobbes was quickly on the scene and saved the day by recovering the loot.  Now he’s the media’s latest hero, and every reporter in the area is parked on his front porch, wanting to interview him.

 

    Unfortunately, Inspector Hobbes is a very publicity-shy individual, and understandably so.  His past in somewhat blurry: he seems to have been around for more than a century.  And he has some rather bizarre personal habits that he’d like to keep private.  Things such as eating raw meat fresh off the bone, and running wild whenever there’s a full moon.  Shining a television spotlight on him is probably not in his best interest.

 

    So maybe it would be prudent of him to use up some vacation time, leave town, and quietly get away from it all.  Venture to someplace way out in the sticks, pitch a tent, and take up hiking as a hobby.  His buddy Andy Caplet can go with him.  I'm sure it won't be long before the media finds a new idol to chase after, and they'll forget all about Hobbes.

 

    Sounds like a plan.  About the only thing that could spoil things is if that out-of-the-way spot has some gold issues of its own.  But what are the odds of that?

 

What’s To Like...

    Inspector Hobbes and the Gold Diggers is another fine effort in Wilkie Martin’s fun paranormal “Unhuman” series.  Andy once again serves as our narrator, and plays “Watson” to Inspector Hobbes’s “Holmes”.  All of my favorite characters are back, including Featherlight Binks, Billy Shawcroft, Mrs. Goodfellow, and of course, Hobbes’s faithful pooch, “Dregs”.

 

    Once again there are a bunch of storylines to keep our heroes on their toes, including:

a.) Who tried to steal the gold the first time?

b.) Who succeeded in stealing it the second time?

c.) What happened to Mrs. Duckworth’s husband?

d.) How did Andy “lose” two days?

e.) Why does Hobbes find the ordinary-looking rocks around Blackcastle so interesting?

f.) Why is somebody trying to hurt Mrs. Duckworth?

 

    Wilkie Martin lives in the Cotswolds section of England where the series is set; thus the book is written in “English”, not “American”.  So things can be squiffy, poncey, or even manky; people say “wotcha” when meeting each other (we really need to start using that word here in the US); there are bizarrely-named things such as windscreens and wheelie bins; and you can be “turfed” out of your room, but hopefully not “nutted” by someone.  I love reading stories in a foreign language such as English.

 

    Food names are equally esoteric.  Toad-in-the-hole is explained below, but you can also chow down on chapatti, vindaloo, or hotpot, and wash it all down with a pint of scrumpy.  Apple dumplings are also on the menu, with which I'm already familiar, and they are mouth-wateringly yummy.  Andy acquires a love interest at long last, and finally learns Hobbes’s full name, and (apparently) what sort of creature he is.  I don't recall meeting Sid Sharples before but he's now one of my favorite characters.  You want him on your side in a fight even if he thinks he's a vampire.

 

    The ending is suitably exciting and twisty, with Andy being both a help and a hindrance to Hobbes’s best-laid plans.  The last couple chapters are really an epilogue, tying up some (but not all) of the plot threads, and posing some new questions which, presumably, will be addressed in Book 4, Inspector Hobbes and the Bones.

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Toad-in-the-Hole (n., phrase.) : a dish consisting of sausages baked in batter.  (a Britishism)

Others: Scrumpy (n., British); Emetic (adj.); Sticklebacks (n., plural); Balaclava (n.)

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.7/5 based on 264 ratings.

    Goodreads: 4.22/5 based on 1,112 ratings and 70 reviews

 

 

Excerpts...

    “What the heck is this?”

    “Hedbury Best Bitter,” said Billy.

    “Jeez!  What’s their worst bitter like?  It’s warm and it tastes like … I don’t know what the heck it tastes like.  Is there something wrong with it?”

    I cringed, expecting Featherlight to explode at the slur.  Billy reached under the counter for the steel helmet he’d taken to wearing in times of crisis as Featherlight turned to face her.

    “She didn’t mean it,” I said.  “She’s just not used to British beer.  She’s from America.”  (loc.13726.  Note: all location numbers are from the bundle version of Books 1-3.)

 

    “The Butcher of Barnley delivered some of his best pork and leek sausages last night and the lass is making toad in the hole.”

    “Last night?”  Doesn’t he always deliver punctually in the afternoons?”

    “Normally, but he was delayed.”

    “Really?  Why?”

    “He slipped and sat on the mincer.  It meant he got a little behind in his sausage making.”  (loc. 14674)

 

Kindle Details…

    Inspector Hobbes and the Gold Diggers sells for $4.99 at Amazon right now, as do Books 2 and 4.   Book 1 goes for $2.99.  Books 1-through-3 can also be bought as a bundle for $8.09.  Wilkie Martin offers two other e-books at Amazon: Razor, a fantasy-thriller for $4.99; and Relative Disasters, a short book of “silly verse” (the author's words, not mine) for children for $2.99.

 

“Does Daddy often bring home freaks off the street?”  (loc. 12913)

    There's not much to nitpick about in Inspector Hobbes and the Gold Diggers.  As already mentioned, not all the plot threads are fully resolved, but I suspect that’s deliberate and serves as a teaser for the next book in the series.  Also, the manner in which the two "Gold Diggers" storylines are tied together seemed a bit too convenient to be believable.  Finally, although the reason for Hobbes's "strangeness" is revealed here, I for one am still skeptical about it. 

 

    But none of that matters; Inspector Hobbes and the Gold Diggers was a page-turner for me, and the things that matter most – the action, the witty dialog, the character development, and above all, the groan-inducing puns – are all here in abundance.  The pace is brisk and there are literally no slow spots in the story.  If you're in the mood for a light, funny, cozy mystery with "unhuman" critters walking around amongst blissfully unaware mortals, this book, and this series, is for you. 

 

    8 Stars.  Three books down, one to go.  My biggest fear is that this is an already-completed series.  Book 4 came out in 2016, since then Wilkie Martin hasn't published any more adventures involving Inspector Hobbes and Andy Caplet.  Is it possible that they've been put out to pasture?  Say it ain't so, Wilkie!