Napalm and Silly Putty - George Carlin

2001; 269 pages. According to the cover, it's a "#1 New York Times Bestseller". Genre : Humor. Overall Rating : C.

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A collection of short pieces by Carlin, and for the most part (ANAICT) taken from his past stand-up routines. It is better organized than its sequel, When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?, which is reviewed here.

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What's To Like...

The tone of N&SP is lighter than that of WWJBTPC. More importantly, it's funnier too. The best parts are once again the one-liners, dubbed "Short Takes". Some of the longer routines, such as the "Food" one (pg. 132), will make you laugh. Others, such as the one about "Time" (pg. 163) are both funny and thought-provoking.

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Alas, as with WWJBTPC, a lot of the stuff here is shock comedy. Carlin wants to show you that he can be witty about anything, including topics like rape and OJ Simpson. He wants you to know all the things that p*ss him off, which families he loathes, and why all kids are ugly. There's also a not-so-funny interview with Jesus. Some of N&SP works. Some of it doesn't.

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New/Cool Words...

George Carlin is not a good resource for expanding your vocabulary. The only N/C word was : Zeitgeist - the spirit of an age; the spirit of the times.

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Excerpts...

People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think. (pg. 9)

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I hope no one asks me to show them the ropes. I have no idea where they are. Maybe I could pull a few strings and find out. (pg. 189)

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(re airplane announcements) "Place the mask over your face and breathe normally." Well, no problem there. I always breathe normally when I'm in an uncontrolled 600-mile-per-hour vertical dive. I also sh*t normally. Directly into my pants. (pg. 15)

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Good, funny, occasionally smart, but essentially drivel...

That's a snippet out of the "Acknowledgements" section of the book, and probably a good, honest 7-word summation of it. N&SP tapdances the whole way between funny and crude. I have a feeling this is one of those rare books where it's better to listen to it as an audiobook (which I believe he narrates himself) than to read it. George Carlin was a talented stand-up comedian, and an absolute master of timing, wordplay, and inflections. All of that is lost here.

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We'll give this a "C", because it's better than WWJBTPC, which earmed a "D+". Read it only if you don't have access to his albums, DVD's, and/or audiobooks.

When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? - George Carlin

2004, 295 pages. Genre : Stand-up Comedy. Overall Rating : D+..

    WWJBTPC? is the last of three books that Carlin put out between 1997 and 2004. It also happens to be his last book period, since he passed away last June. It is the first Carlin book I've read, and is also available as an audio book, with Carlin himself doing the reading.

    .WWJBTPC? is a plethora of Carlin sketches, some of which are transcribed from his recent stand-up acts. It is less witty than I remember his performances. Wikipedia claims that he chose the title because it offends three major religions. Somehow, that seems to sum up the tone and intent of this book.

What's To Like...
    If you have ADD, this is a great read. The maximum length per sketch is about three pages. If he wants to expound on a longer theme (for instance : "euphemisms"), he breaks it down into smaller parts and distributes it throughout the book.

   .There are some funny parts. One of the best is the recurring "Bits & Pieces", which is simply a couple pages (each) of one-, two-, and three-liners. Here's one of them :

    "When it comes to God's existence, I'm not an atheist and I'm not an agnostic. I'm an acrostic. The whole thing puzzles me." Good stuff from the man who invented the term "frisbeetarian".

   .Oh yeah, Wal Mart initially refused to sell this book because it was too offensive. And the fundies are disturbed by it. Those are two good reasons to read it.

What's Not To Like...
    Frankly, 95% of WWJBTPC? isn't funny. Or even witty. It's just bitter. I know this is "shock comedy", and I know Carlin was heavily influenced by Lenny Bruce. But to be honest, I never found Lenny Bruce to be funny either.
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.Here's an example :
    "Incredibly, there was no Hitler. There is no record of any such person. It's true, there was a little German man with a small moustache who combed his hair to one side and started World War II. He also killed six million Jews. But he was not Hitler. He was, in fact, a shoemaker named Hank Fleck."
If there is redeeeming virtue and/or humor in that little diatribe, I can't find it.
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Talibanderson
    Maybe the audio book is more humorous. Other reviewers say his earlier two books, Brain Droppings and Napalm & Silly Putty, are better. I guess I picked the wrong book to get introduced to Carlin.
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    In the end, too much of WWJBTPC? just isn't funny. And reading a stand-up comedy book that isn't humorous is like watching Pamela Anderson do a Baywatch episode wearing a burqa. Both are pointless. Skip this one, but if you come across either of his other books, they may be worthwhile.