2012; 382 pages. Full Title: The Broke Ass Brigade: Living With
Asperger’s in the Savage Side of the American Dream. New Author? : Yes. Genres : Biographies & Memoirs; Vocational
Humor. Overall Rating: 6*/10.
Ah yes, working in a Big-Box
store. I’ve never done it. The closest I came was working one summer in a grocery store, stocking shelves, bagging groceries, and carrying customers’
purchases to their cars—and boats—in 115-degree heat.
I had a friend who worked in
one for a few years, though. I remember
him telling how, if you worked day-shift, which meant being there when the
store opened, all the employees were required to gather in a circle beforehand
and sing the company song. Management
picked one lucky employee to lead the singing, and he better do it
enthusiastically.
He laughed was he told me how
all the employees would try to hide behind each other, hoping that management
would just pick whoever they happened to notice first. He said there was lots of shoving and
elbowing in efforts to make oneself hard to see.
The
Broke Ass Brigade chronicles Don Romonov’s experiences working in a Big-Box
store. In comparison to him, my friend
got off lightly.
What’s To Like...
The term “Big-Box Store” applies to megastores
such as Target, K-Mart, Sam’s Club,
and Walmart—huge square-footage
buildings wherein shoppers can find just about anything they need. Don Romonov’s memoir, The Broke Ass Brigade actually opens with him at his previous
job, a fast food one, which he quickly leaves.
At the age of eighteen, Don
takes what he hopes is an upward career jump: going to work at an undisclosed
superstore. He quickly becomes
disillusioned and on 11/95/03 begins to keep a journal. His entries are divided into 28 sections, and things close with his departure from the Big-Box.
The writing style—in the
first-person POV, of course—is fascinating blend of humor, contemplation, and
absurdism. This may be a megastore, but
it caters to the dregs of society. Bums,
drunks, and nut cases abound, all of them looking for a free meal and things to
swipe. Store security is sparse and lax;
and the store’s management tries to reach its impossible quotas by periodically
firing half the employees and telling the remaining ones to work twice as fast
and twice as hard.
Don and several of his
co-workers become friends after discovering they share some common interests,
such as gaming and booze. Other
co-workers and regular customers are given nicknames, such as “Lil Bit”, “Janet Prime”, “Other Steve”, “King of
Mullets”, “Count Chocula”, and “Obi
Wan”. That latter one becomes
Don’s mentor, and trains him in the art of being a store detective. The author frequently crosses paths with
weird-acting customers; the details of their antics and the epithets with which Don dubs
them are fascinating.
The book’s title refers to a
small clique of store employees. The author sprinkles a fair amount of music references throughout the book. His tastes theein are quite eclectic; I guarantee
you’ll find some of your favorites mentioned.
I also learned a new acronym—FNG—I’ll let you figure that one out. Things close with the author finally finding
another job, although I don’t recall any details being given about it. Presumably it was a step upward.
Ratings…
Amazon: 3.8*/5, based on 28 ratings
and 23 reviews.
Goodreads: 2.86*/5,
based on 21
ratings and 5 reviews.
Excerpts...
So, upon having helped catch some
shoplifters—even though it’s not my job—I want to address a few things
concerning shoplifting. Shoplifters, try
better. It’s hard to beat you down when
I’m laughing so hard. Here are a few
examples:
When trying to make counterfeit money,
remember to print on both sides. Just
saying.
Do not try to hide things you cannot
feasibly hide. A computer box does not
fit in your sweatpants.
Do not act suspicious. Asking things like “Do those cameras work?”
or “Is your security guard armed?” kind of tip me off that you’re about to
wreck our sh*t. (pg. 80)
I messed with her. I said, “Let the ruling classes tremble at a
(the word “communist” goes here, but I removed it because it was too obvious)
revolution. The proletarians have nothing
to lose but their chains. They have a
world to win. Working men of all
countries, unite!”
She laughed naively, saying, “Oh, that’s an
interesting quote. Who said that?”
I told the truth on this one. “Karl Marx,” I said.
She said, “Oh, I love the Marx
Brothers! The guy with the horn is
hilarious!” (pg. 139)
Who shoplifts at
six thirty in the morning?” (pg.
303)
It came as no surprise
that there’s a lot of cussing in The Broke
Ass Brigade; I counted 28 instances in the first 10% of the book,
including 10 f-bombs. Ethnic slurs also
crop up; as do references to sexual practices and parts. Typos occur with such frequency that they
become a distraction.
The fact that the author
suffers from Asperger’s syndrome is cited in the book’s subtitle, but I saw
very little evidence of it impacting the storytelling. Then again, I know very little about
Asperger’s, save that it is a learning disability and now has a newer name. The author mouths off to
wacko-acting and/or light-fingered customers, but I doubt that can be blamed on his affliction.
There’s not much storyline progression
in the storyline. Don Romonov wants out
the first day of his job; and retains that aspiration until his last day
there. But hey, this is a memoir, not a
novel; there wasn’t any career progression in the author’s life during this period.
Despite the drawbacks, I
enjoyed The Broke Ass Brigade. I
too had several menial jobs as a teenager—dishwasher (one job washing by
hand, one job washing by machine), busboy, gas station attendant—so Don
Romonov’s work woes brought back old memories.
If you had a similar low-paying, crappy job or jobs as a teen, this book might resonate with you as well.
6 Stars. One last thing. Amazon’s audiobook version of The Broke Ass Brigade lists this an a “Satirical Literature & Fiction” book. I certainly hope this is not a piece of fiction.
