Pursuit of the Apocalypse - Benjamin Wallace

    2018; 187 pages.  Book 3 (out of 6) in the “Duck and Cover” series.  New Author? : No.  Genres : Post-Apocalyptic Thriller; Action-Adventure; Dark Humor.  Overall Rating : 9*/10.

 

    The chase is on!

 

    The bounty hunter Mr. Christopher has kidnapped the lovely Erica, and is on his way Alasis, where the Evil Lord Invictus will be happy to pay him handsomely for the fair maiden.

 

    Our hero, Jerry, aka “The Librarian” (his occupation before the bombs began to fall), aka Erica’s companion, is determined not to allow that to happen.  Mr. Christopher has a sizable head start, but Jerry has a souped-up Ford Mustang that is capable of jaw-dropping speeds.

 

    Mr. Christopher is aware he’s being pursued., and has taken steps to thwart that endeavor.  He’s placed some thugs in Jerry’s path, promising them money if they bring him the head of The Librarian.  Come to think of it, Lord Invictus has made the same offer to some of his minions.

 

    And let’s not forget that this is a post-apocalyptic wasteland.  There are plenty of mean and desperate people out there who will be happy to kill a lone traveler like Jerry, for no money whatsoever.

 

What’s To Like...

    Pursuit of the Apocalypse is Book Three in Benjamin Wallace’s 6-volume, maybe completed “Duck and Cover” series.  The reader travels along with both the chaser and the chased, through what used to be the American Midwest, and what is now devastated badlands where the few survivors of the nuclear war are trying to become civilized again.  At one point the chase goes through Amarillo, Texas, but it’s now known as Bomb City.

 

    A 200-page chase scene may sound a bit tedious, but Benjamin Wallace packs it full of exciting fight scenes, fascinating characters, bizarre critters, and some great imagery of what a post-apocalyptic civilization would look like.  The author’s world-building of a metropolis called Tolerance was particularly well done; their extensive “town rules” will leave most who pass through there confused and condemned. 

 

    Several of the characters encountered will keep you guessing whether they are “black hats” or “white hats”.  The ursinologist Martha Rainford and her trio of “houseguests” were fun to meet, and Coy and Willie added a neat comedic touch (think “Dumb and Dumber”, and see the first excerpt, below) that keeps the storyline's tone from becoming too dark.  I also liked that the women characters, both good and evil, are all "strong".  In a post-apocalyptic world, if you’re weak, you’re doomed.

 

    The straightforward plotline also allows Benjamin Wallace to subtly blend in some of his own views.  I chuckled at his opinions about Nickelback and NASCAR, and was happy to see that Play Stations had somehow survived the Armageddon.  The author also comes up with some great acronyms, including “CRAP” and “SSB”.  To learn what those stand for, read the book.

 

    The ending is suitably exciting and stops at a logical place in the saga.  Several readers hated one of the final storyline twists, but I’ve seen other movies/books have made use of the plot device, so I was okay with it.  To give any details about it would be a spoiler.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.4*/5, based on 664 ratings and 177 reviews.

    Goodreads: 4.12*/5, based on 860 ratings and 70 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    “So you’re saying a woman might get upset if she sees me looking at her boobs.  But the same woman might get mad if she sees me not looking at her boobs?”

    “Exactly.”

    Coy finally dropped his chin and, after a moment of trying to process the new information, shouted, “That doesn’t make any sense.”

    “Right.  So look but don’t look, and don’t look but do look.  But whatever you do, don’t get caught.”

    “Don’t get caught doing what?”

    “Looking.  Or not looking.  Or both.  Or either.”  (loc. 5231)

 

    A great many horrors were unleashed on the world when it ended with a bang.  Entire stockpiles of weapons were thrown about.  Everything from biological agents, experimental chemicals, and good old nuclear fallout drifted in the winds of the new landscape.  Some caused plants to grow wild and become sentient.  Others stripped the land of its vegetation altogether.  Some even turned dumb animals into brilliant tacticians.  But there never was such a thing as a dumb bomb.  (loc. 6447)

 

Kindle Details…

    Knights of the Apocalypse goes for $7.99 right now at Amazon.  The other books in the series also cost $7.99, except for Book 6, Champion of the Apocalypse, which is priced at $9.99.  You can also purchase the first three books in a bundle, for just $9.99, and which is how I read this.  Benjamin Wallace has penned several other series; those e-books are generally in the $7.99-$9.99 range.

 

“I was good at science.  I only barely failed it.”  (loc. 6782)

    The cussing is moderate.  I counted 14 instances in the first 20%, including a couple of f-bombs.  In the second half of the book, and after I had ceased counting them, the rate of profanity increases, thanks mostly to a character named Carrie.

 

    I was pleased to see that the rate of typos dropped off markedly compared Books 1 and 2.  I noted just three lapses, so kudos to whoever did the editing!

 

    That’s about all I can quibble about.  For me, Pursuit of the Apocalypse was another strong entry in this series, which I’m reading in order.  There’s plenty of action, zero slow spots, and lots of fascinating characters to meet as everyone struggles to remain alive in a world gone mad.

 

    9 Stars.  One last thing.  Coy and Willie have a brief but entertaining debate as to whether something called a “net gun” exists.  I’m happy to find out that such an apparatus does exist, much to the chagrin of another character.

The End of Antiquity - Nick Holmes

    2025; 263 pages.  Book 5 (out of 5, but eventually 6) in “The Fall of the Roman Empire” series.  Full Title: The End of Antiquity – The Last Days of Rome and the Rise of Islam.  New Author? : No.  Genres : Islamic History; Roman History; Non-Fiction.  Overall Rating : 9*/10.

 

    Really, the Roman Empire in the middle of the sixth century was in pretty good shape.  Yes, the capital city is now Constantinople, because Rome itself over in Italy has been sacked by barbarians several times.

 

    But under the Emperor Justinian, almost all of the land Rome held at its height had been recaptured.  The various barbarian tribes had either melted away, been pushed back into the hinterlands, bought off with tribute money, or given land within the Roman Empire and granted Roman citizenship.

 

    But various threats to the Empire were about to erupt.  Some of them were military in nature—those Germanic tribes were happy with tribute money, but who knows for how long?  In Asia the Turks and the Persians were itching to take some land away from the Romans.  And when they weren’t fighting outsiders, the armies and politicians of the Roman Empire regularly fought among themselves.

 

    But other dangers, more difficult to predict and see, were about threaten Constantinople’s existence.  For if all these factors start happening at once, who knows if the Roman Empire will survive?

 

What’s To Like...

    Nick Holmes divides The End of Antiquity into three sections, namely:

        Part 1. The Ice Age Cometh:  Chapters 01-08; 5%-27%.

        Part 2. The Last War of Antiquity: Chapters 09-16; 27%-54%.

        Part 3. The Children of Hagar: Chapters 17-27; 54%-87%.

 

    The series' timeline segues smoothly from the previous book, Justinian’s Empire.  Justinian passes away here in Chapter 3, and a bitter internecine war of succession erupts.  Eventually a Roman general named Maurice takes the throne and does a decent job of restoring the empire to its former glory.  Maurice is one of two main emperors focused on by this book, the other being Heraclius.  I had never heard of either of them, so this was quite an enlightening read for me.

 

    I love the attention Nick Holmes gives to a new force in the region—the incredible rise of Islam from out of nowhere to being the Roman Empire’s main threat.  There’s a lot of complex interplay between the Christian, Moslem, Jewish, and Persian religions, further impacted by a deep hatred between two major Christian sects: the Monophysites and the Chalcedonians.  The net result was a lot of "killing for God", further weakening the Empire.

 

    But things get further complicated.  We now have evidence that the Earth was hit by something called the “Late Antique Little Ice Age” somewhere around AD 536, which  caused massive crop failures in most of Eurasia.  The affected areas were subsequently hit with a deadly plague, probably a variant of the "bubonic plague", aka the “Black Death”, which greatly reduced their populations.

    Nick Holmes proposes that the global cooling was actually a boon for certain select civilizations thrive.  We’ll let you read the book to find out just who and where these lucky areas were, and why they’d prosper from global cooling when everyone else was suffering.

 

    The End of Antiquity closes with a conflict called “The Great Siege of Constantinople”, which lasted two years, and ended on a high note for the Byzantine (aka “Roman”) Empire by the defeat of a major Arab fleet and army.  For now, the Empire survives, and I’m wondering if the next book in this series will take us to AD 1453, a pivotal date in the history of Byzantium.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.3/5 based on 76 ratings and ?? reviews.

    Goodreads: 4.40/5 based on 40 ratings and 3 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    Its central character was the ambitious Lombard king Alboin who vied against his bitter foes, the Gepids (another Germanic tribe), while harbouring a passion for the Gepid king’s beautiful daughter Rosamund.  In 566, he allied with the Avars, and with their help defeated the Gepids and killed their king.  Rosamund was captured and, against her wishes, he married her and, according to legend, at the wedding celebration he forced her to drink from a cup made from her father’s skull.  As Alboin was soon to discover, this wasn’t the best way of ensuring a happy marriage.  (loc. 449)

 

    If Arab victory over the Romans was a surprise, even more surprising was their victory over Persia.

    The historical relationship between Persia and Arabia was much closer than that between Rome and Arabia.  For the Romans, Arabia had always been of limited interest.  It was on the periphery of their empire and their consciousness.  They regarded it a little like they regarded ancient Scotland, or Caledonia as they called it.  Everyone knew where it was but no one wanted to go there.  (loc. 2441)

 

Kindle Details…

    The End of Antiquity is priced at $6.99 right now, as are the other four books in the series.  An earlier work of the author, The Byzantine World War is available for just $2.99.

 

“We beseech that they be received in appropriate manner by your superabundant Majesty, and be allowed to return to us.”  In other words, please don’t chop their heads off.  (loc. 1329)

    I admit it, I’m hooked on this series, and The End of Antiquity only reinforced that.  There is no profanity in the text, and no any adult situations.  The closest we come to such a thing is given in the first excerpt given above.

 

    A quibble might be made that the “Rome” of the “Roman Empire” doesn’t get much ink here.  But hey, although it’s been snatched away from the barbarians, it doesn’t really play a significant part in the events of the 6^th-8^th century Roman Empire.

 

    Nick Holmes’ writing style is both scholarly and folksy, an example of which is given in the second excerpt above.  His books are somehow informative without being dry, which is not an easy thing to do.  Here’s hoping that Book Six is coming along nicely.

 

    9 Stars.  One last thing.  One of the weapons that the Byzantines used to destroy the Arab fleet besieging Constantinople in 716-718 AD was something called “Greek fire”.  The formula for making Greek fire has been lost in the fog of Time, and no one yet has ever been able to rediscover it.  Rediscover it somehow, and you will achieve Fame and Fortune.

Odd Thomas - Dean Koontz

    2003; 421 pages. Book 1 (out of 7) in the “Odd Thomas” series.  New Author? : No, but it’s been a while.  Genres : Horror Fantasy; Ghosts; Suspense Thriller.  Overall Rating : 7*/10.

 

    20-year old Odd Thomas (yes, that’s his real name) can see dead people.  Sometimes they even reveal the terrible ways in which they died, and who killed them; unwilling to do so until justice is done..

 

    Odd Thomas keeps his “gift” secret from most of his fellow townspeople in Pico Mundo, California.  One of the exceptions to this is the Police Chief of Pico Mundo, Wyatt Porter, who appreciates Odd Thomas’s help in resolving these cold cases.

 

    Odd Thomas can also see strange creatures he’s dubbed “bodachs”.  Usually one or two of them show up right before someone dies violently.  Apparently, they like being spectators to the violence.

 

    But lately, the bodachs have been showing up in greater numbers in Pico Mundo.  Dozens at a time.  Hmm.

 

    That's probably not a good thing.

 

What’s To Like...

    Odd Thomas is written by in “memoir style” by the titular protagonist, apparently some years after the fact and at the urging of one of the secondary characters in the tale, Little Ozzie.  I presume we’ll find out the reasons for this in the subsequent novels in the series.  The story is set in the fictional town of Pico Mundo, located somewhere in southern California's Mojave Desert.

 

    I liked the way the story opens: an incident that introduces the reader to Odd’s talent as he helps the ghost of a little girl seeking justice.   After that, the main plotline gets rolling, with the appearance of an enigmatic character that Odd labels “Fungus Man”.   Is he alive? Dead?  Human?  Otherworldly?  Good? Demonic?  And above all, why has he come to Pico Mundo?

 

    Despite this being primarily a “Suspense Thriller” novel, Dean Koontz cleverly manages to keep the tone somewhat lighthearted.  One of Odd’s friends is the ghost of Elvis,  some of the story takes place in a chapel called the “Church of the Whispering Comet”, and, as anyone who’s ever worked in a cheap eatery (I have!) can tell you, learning to speak “diner lingo” is an art.  I also liked the author’s treatment of the “what happens if I mess with the ordained timeline” conundrum.

 

    The ending is both thrilling, and realistic.  The plans of the Evil Ones are stymied, but at a high cost.  The Epilogue will leave a lump in your throat.  The fate of one of the main characters remains unresolved, but I think this may be a teaser for the next book in the series.

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Farrago (n.) : a confusing mixture.

Others: Pyx (n.).

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.5/5 based on 10,863 ratings and x,xxx reviews.

    Goodreads: 3.99/5 based on 275,707 ratings and 8,911 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    When Chief Porter came back, he said, “Why is he vandalizing St. Bart’s?”

    “Don’t have a clue, sir.  He tried to trap me and Stormy in the church belfry—”

    “What were you doing in the belfry?”

    “Having a picnic, sir.”

    “I suppose that makes sense to you.”

    “Yes, sir.  It’s nice.  We have dinner up there a couple times a month.”

    “Son, I don’t ever want to catch you having dinner on the courthouse flagpole.”

    “Maybe just hors d’oeuvres, sir, but never dinner.”  (loc. 1955)

 

    “No gun,” I insisted.  “We’ll just cruise and see what happens.”

    “Why are you afraid of guns?”

    “They go bang.”

    “And why is that a question you always avoid answering?”

    “I was probably shot to death in a past life.”

    “You don’t believe in reincarnation.”

    “I don’t believe in taxes, either, but I pay them.”  (loc. 2064)

 

Kindle Details…

    Odd Thomas currently costs $3.99 at Amazon.  The rest of the books in the series are all priced in the $5.99-$7.99,range.  Dean Koontz has oodles of other e-books for your horror-genre reading pleasure, most of which are in the $2.99-$9.99 price range.

 

“Odd, my beautiful cow exploded.”  (loc. 1459)

    The profanity in Odd Thomas is light; I counted just seven instances in the first 25% of the book, all of which were of the “milder” ilk.  There was an allusion to child molestation, though.  I didn’t spot any typos, which is a rarity for me.  Kudos to those who did the editing.

 

    My main quibble is with the storytelling.  There were way too many plot tangents which slowed everything down.  Some examples:

    We dwell much too long on Odd’s coworkers at the Pico Mundo Grille.

    Ditto for the background information about Odd’s parents.

    Ditto for a late-appearing (97% Kindle) co-conspirator.

And many more.  None of these impacted the storyline, so all created slow spots.

 

    Still, the basic concept of the storyline was innovative; the setting and world-building kept my interest, and the character development of both the good guys was superb.  Odd Thomas’s psychological make-up was particularly well done.

 

    Amazon discounts on the e-books in this series are for some reason few and far between.  But if the sequel, Forever Odd, ever shows up at a reduced price, I’ll probably grab it and give this series another try.

 

    7 Stars.  One last thing.  For some odd reason, Amazon has removed or relocated their "Reviews" totals.  They still list the "Ratings" totals.  Hopefully, this is a temporary omission.

Sinister Magic - Lindsay Buroker

    2020; 250 pages.  Book 1 (out of 9) in the “Death Before Dragons” series.  New Author? : No.  Genres: Humorous Fantasy; Dragons; Urban Fantasy.  Overall Rating: 9*/10.

 

    Meet Val Thorvald.  She works for the government as a bounty hunter, specializing in eliminating magical beings.  But it’s all top secret, so don’t go telling anyone about this.  Val is half-human and half-elf, which is a definite asset in this business.  She can learn spells and detect magical creatures when they’re nearby.

 

    She’s also got some way-kewl weapons.  One is a long sword she’s named “Chopper”.  Another is a submachine pistol called “Fezzik”.  But her most lethal weapon is Sindari.  He’s a giant-sized tiger from a magical otherworld, whom she can summon telepathically.

 

    So if you’re a rogue magical creature here in this dimension, you better beware of Val and Sindari.  Go back to the magical realm and be thankful you still exist.  Unless you’re a dragon.  They can easily whup Val and Sindari simultaneously with one wing tied behind their back.  No one in their right mind messes with dragons.

 

    Heh.  Guess what kind of creature just crossed Val’s path this morning.  And it was also doing bounty hunter work, in fact chasing after the same wyvern she is.  Professional jealousy is about to reach a new level.

 

What’s To Like...

    Sinister Magic is the first book in Lindsay Buroker’s 9-book, Humorous Fantasy “Death Before Dragons” series.  It is set in the Pacific Northwest, mostly in the Seattle area, which was also true of the other book I’ve read by this author, Marked By Magic.  I suspect this is Lindsay Buroker’s stomping grounds.

 

    If you like your Fantasy reads to feature a wide variety of beasts and magical beings, you’ll enjoy Sinister Magic.  In addition to the ones mentioned above, there are werewolves and trolls, vampires and golems, a kraken and a manticore, and elves aplenty.  The human population is aware that some of magical critters are traipsing around in this world, although their numbers are grossly underestimated.

 

    The storyline is a nice break from the standard “gotta save the world” trope.  Val’s bounty-hunting efforts are temporarily supplanted by the need to find a cure for, and the cause of, her employer’s cancer.  Val is also undergoing therapy sessions with a shrink, which so far are having mixed results.  And now there’s a small matter of getting her jeep down from the top branches of a 40-foot tree.

 

   I loved the interaction between the two main protagonists—Val and a shape-shifting dragon nicknamed Zav.  Dragons usually get portrayed as evil creatures, but here Zav and Val both ethically “gray”.  Indeed, at one point they debate as to the proper handling of captured criminals.  Should they be incarcerated for rehabilitation purposes or summarily executed?  Guess who favors rehab.

 

    The ending is exciting, yet not over-the-top, and I liked that.  The main plotline are tied up, but some of the secondary ones, such as Val’s therapy and her relationship with Zav, are left open, presumably to encourage the reader to read the sequel, Battle Bond.  I have it on my Kindle, and I’m eager to read more of this series.

 

Kewlest New Word…

Obstreperous (adj.): noisy and difficult to control.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.5*/5, based on 9,676 ratings and 897 reviews.

    Goodreads: 4.12*/5, based on 11,611 ratings and 1,046 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    Nin returned with a brochure and several business cards.  “Please give these to Zoltan and let him know that if he needs any weapons made, or if any of his fellow vampires need them made, I can accommodate him.  Also, I am thinking of branching out into magical armor.”

    “If he doesn’t try to bite my neck the instant we meet, I’ll give these to him.”

    “Of course he will try to bite your neck.  You are the hated Mythic Murderer.  But please also give him my brochure as a favor to me.”  (pg. 132)

 

    “Here.”  I set the containers of bath beads down beside Zav’s foot.  “Throw some of those down when you get a chance.”  I backed away slowly, not wanting the dark elves to notice.  “And try to keep them distracted.  Keep saying arrogant things.”

    Zav looked over his shoulder, pinning me with his glare.  “I do not take orders from law-breaking mongrels who do not acknowledge the supremacy of dragons.”

    “Yeah, say stuff like that.”  I gave him a sarcastic thumbs-up.  “You’re a natural.”  (pg. 217)

 

Kindle Details…

    Sinister Magic presently sells for $0.99 at Amazon.  The next two books is this series cost the same amount; books 4-9 go for $4.99 apiece.  Books 1-3 are also available as a bundle, which inexplicably goes for $9.99 right now.  Lindsay Buroker has many other individual e-books and bundles for your Urban Fantasy reading pleasure.  The discrete books are generally in the $0.99-$4.99 range, the bundles are mostly priced at $9.99.

 

“You hatched backward from your egg, you one-winged gimp.”  (pg. 16)

    There’s a moderate amount of cussing in Sinister Magic; I noted just 14 instances in the first 25%.  An f-bomb made a later appearance.  I don’t recall any “adult situations” cropping up in the storyline, nor any typos.  Kudos to whoever does the editing for this book.

 

    I gather that this is not the first Lindsay Buroker series to feature Val.  The protagonist in the other book I’ve read by this author was Arwen Forester, so now I’m curious as to how many other books have Val in them.

 

    Val’s age is given as “40-ish”, and one Amazon reviewer had doubts about a middle-aged heroine being physically up to the challenges of crossing bounty-hunting paths with formidable magical critters.  But I think the answer to that is that Val’s blood is half-elven, and a 40-year-old elf is physically in her prime.

 

    Sinister Magic thoroughly entertained me  The action starts immediately, there’s plenty of thrills-&-spills, and the snarky banter definitely kept me turning the pages.  I highly recommend this book to anyone in the mood for a lighthearted Harry Dresden-type fantasy.

 

    9 Stars.  One last thing.  A one point, Val is forced to add some Epsom salts to the concoction she’s making.  She correctly recalls that the chemical name for the is Magnesium Sulfate.  CHEMISTRY comes to the rescue once again!

The Case of the Toxic Spell Dump - Harry Turtledove

   1993; 408 pages.  New Author? : No.  Genres: Historical Fantasy, Alternate Timelines, Science Fiction.  Overall Rating: 7½*/10.

 

    Something rotten is going on at the Devonshire dump, located in the northern part of Angels City.   We know that indirectly, based on the sudden increase in the number of birth defects in the surrounding neighborhoods.

 

    The EPA—that acronym stands for Environmental Perfection Agency— higher-ups have instructed their local agent, David Fisher, to start an investigation.  Pay a friendly visit to the dump, find out who the major dumpers are, then call on those companies and find out exactly what they’re disposing.

 

    Inspector Fisher has been instructed to keep his probing low-key and non-threatening.  And especially not to communicate anything he finds to anyone except the EPA higher-ups.  Because whatever is causing those birth defects is almost certainly magical.  What makes the EPA think that?

 

    Three of those cases involve newborns with an extremely rare disease called apsychia, a term no mother wants to hear.  It means her baby has been born without a soul.

 

What’s To Like...

    The Case of the Toxic Spell Dump is a standalone novel set in a parallel world to our own.  The geography is the same, but that world has two realities: a mundane dimension like we have, imaginatively called “This Side”; and a magical dimension, called the “Other Side”, where all sorts of spells, hexes, potions, gods, and otherworldly creatures that go bump in the night exist.

 

    The two Sides are interconnected, which means magic-containing things can be imported into This Side, bought and used, but that inevitably generates waste which needs to be properly disposed of a dump.  As is true in our reality, the key word is “properly”.

 

    The story is set in what we call Los Angeles, which over there is called Angels City.  Harry Turtledove gleefully renames/reinvents all sorts of nations, religions, places, and other items; as one would expect in an alternate world with an alternate timeline.

 

    So here, the Aztecian nation still survives; as does Carthage.  The Mithraism religion still exists, so does a Zoroastrian one.  In the Angels City area, you can visit Saint Ferdinand’s Valley via the Saint Monica Freeway.  To get there, you hop on your flying carpet; but you still do your airborne “driving” on designated streets, since without them, three-dimensional travel would be dangerously chaotic.  And as you might guess, a “spellchecker” has an entirely different function.

 

    For most of the book the reader tags along with David as he tries to figure out what is causing the increase in birth defects.  Lots of companies use the Devonshire dump for magical waste disposal, all of them resent them being suspected of improper dumping.  Things build to a tense, two-stage ending (Chapters 10 and 11), where magic and deities are invoked to take corrective measures.

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Geas (n.) : an obligation or prohibition magically imposed upon a person.

Others: Curandero (n.), Burin (n.).

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.4/5 based on 256 ratings and 66 reviews.

    Goodreads: 3.87/5 based on 937 ratings and 87 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    “You may accompany us if you like, Miss Adler.”

    “How generous of you,” Judy said.  I knew she’d have accompanied us whether Kawaguchi liked it or not, and gone off like a demon out of its pentacle if he tried to stop her.  The irony in her voice was thick enough to slice.  If the legate noticed it, though, he didn’t let on.  I wondered if the Angels City constabulary wizards had perfected an anti-sarcasm amulet.  If they had, I wanted to buy one.  (loc. 1119)

 

    “Listen, let me call you back.  I think somebody’s at the door.”

    I went out to see who it was: most likely one of my neighbors wanting to borrow the proverbial cup of sugar, I figured.  But somebody wasn’t at the door, he was already inside, sitting on a living room chair.  I could still see the chair through him, too, so it was somedisembody.  (loc. 2337)

 

The trouble with technology is that, as soon as it solves a problem, the alleged solution presents two new ones.  (loc. 1476)

    The profanity in The Case of the Toxic Spell Dump is pretty light; I noted just five instances in the first 10% of the book, all of which were mild, “four-lettered” terms.  Later on, the “female dog” expletive gets used a couple times, plus a strong cuss-phrase in Spanish which I thought was kewl.  There are also a few rolls-in-the-hay, but tastefully done.

 

    There were a few typos, such as care/cares, now/not, ration/ratio, were/where, though/thought, and knew/know, but not enough to be a distraction.

 

    For me, the mystery-solving angle was pretty blah.  David visits the main customers of the dump, one by one, but it’s not until about ¾ of the way through the book that he catches a lucky break, and e even that one felt forced.  The ending was so-so as well.  Chapter 10 saw deities duking it out, which was rather exciting, but then David squares off against the Ultimate Evil, and emerges victorious with remarkable ease.

 

    But hey, I read Harry Turtledove for his fabulous alternate-world-building, not for over-the-top, superhero-type excitement.  And I also read Harry Turtledove for his witty repartee, suitable-for-YA storylines, and groan-inducing puns.  The Case of the Toxic Spell Dump did not fail in any of these areas, plus it was a treat to see the quantity and the diversity of mythical creatures that the author works into a tale as he combines both Alt-History to Alt-Fantasy.

    7½ Stars.  One last thing.  My favorite character in The Case of the Toxic Spell Dump, was David Fisher’s coworker and EPA lab analyst, Michael (don’t call him Mike) Manstein and his Laboratory Field Testing skills.  Quality Control ROOLZ!!

Assassination Vacation - Sarah Vowell

   2006; 255 pages.  New Author? : No.  Genres : Travelogue; American History; Non-Fiction; Biographies.  Overall Rating: 8½*/10.

 

    Four United States presidents were assassinated during their time in office: Abraham Lincoln, James Garfield, William McKinley, and John F. Kennedy.  Each time, America was stunned and went into a state of shock and mourning.

 

    In every case, authorities concluded a lone gunman was responsible.  In two of those assassinations, Lincoln and Kennedy, the killer also perished: John Wilkes Booth during the ensuing manhunt, and Lee Harvey Oswald during his incarceration phase. In the Garfield and McKinley slayings, the shooter was put on trial and subsequently hung.  There was no national mourning for any of them.

 

    But then comes the remembering part.  What should you do to memorialize the slain presidents?  Heroic statues of the presidents come to mind, but what about the bullets, the blood-soaked clothes, and a lock of presidential hair?  For that matter, what about those sorts of things taken from the assassins?

 

    Sarah Vowell decided to find out.

 

What’s To Like...

     Assassination Vacation is first and foremost a travelogue.  Sarah Vowell travels up and down the eastern United States, sometimes alone, sometimes with friends when she can talk them into it.  The book of her experiences is divided into five sections, namely:

    00. Preface (page 1)

    01. Abraham Lincoln (page 19)

    02. James Garfield (page 121)

    03. William McKinley (page 187)

    04. Robert Todd Lincoln (page 239)

 

    As can be seen, the biggest attention is rightfully paid to Abraham Lincoln.  He was the first POTUS killed in office, had just finished presiding over a heart-wrenching Civil War, and his killer came from a nationally-known acting family.  James Garfield and William McKinley were presidents that most people, including me, know very little about.  Robert Todd Lincoln was Lincoln’s son, who, through incredible odds, was in the vicinity of all three of the aforementioned slayings.

 

    I loved the historical aspect of the book.  Sarah Vowell gives the reader lots of interesting details about each president – where he grew up, what his politics were, and where his life came to an end.  I was impressed that the author also took time to investigate the lives of the assassins.  What was their life like, why did they do it, how did they manage to accomplish the assassination, and what rationale did they express during the limited time after they were apprehended.

 

    Sarah Vowell has an “informal” writing style that I thoroughly enjoy.  This is not a dry presentation of American history.  The reader gets to hear her thoughts as she rummages through museums and tourist traps, and searches for hard-to-spot memorial plaques on nondescript walls.  She often shares her tastes in music (which I found eclectic and excellent).  Last but not least, the she taught me the proper pronunciation of one of the assassins’ last names:  Leon Czolgosz.  Yeah, good luck guessing that one; we’ll divulge it at the end of this review.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.3*/5, based on 1,176 ratings and 446 reviews.

    Goodreads: 3.93*/5, based on 47,128 ratings and 4,142 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    In a museum across town there is another object that is the best indication of the esteem for Lincoln I have ever seen—more than the marble tomb, more than even the marble Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C., more than any book, statue, lock of hair, bloodstained collar, top hat, or plaque.

    Any old forgettable rich guy might warrant a marble tomb, an obelisk, or elaborate sculptures after death, but you know you are regarded with a ridiculous, religious amount of awe when they put your dug-up drainpipe in a museum.  (pg. 109)

 

    The wounded president was moved onto a mattress, his head held in the hands of a washroom attendant.  But, as Laurie Anderson put it, “It’s not the bullet that kills you, it’s the hole.”  Garfield might have survived the shooting but for what happened next.  Namely, that various physicians summoned to the scene, especially Dr. D.W. Bliss, searched for the bullet’s location in Garfield’s back by poking their grimy fingers into the wound, rooting around in the presidential innards.  (pg. 160)

 

“You sockdologizing old man-trap.”  (pg. 46, and yes, that’s a real word.)

    There’s just a modicum of cussing in Assassination Vacation.  I counted just ten instances in the entire book, and they were mostly the result of direct quotes from persons Sarah was talking to.

 

    It should be noted that although four presidents have been assassinated while in office, only three are discussed here.  There’s almost nothing about John Kennedy being shot in Dallas.  I was okay with this; I’m old enough to remember where I was when this happened: in 8^th-grade civics class.  But younger readers may be disappointed that his assassination wasn’t investigated for this book.

 

    Also, please keep in mind that Sarah Vowell isn’t shy about voicing her political views in Assassination Vacation.  We won’t say what they are, but right-wingers should probably give this book a pass.

 

    Overall, I enjoyed Assassination Vacation., both for its delightful travelogue aspect and its informative history aspect.  It was easy-reading, witty, and above all, tremendously informative.

 

    8½ Stars.  One last thing.  Per the author, the name “Czolgosz” is pronounced “shol gosh”.  Now you know.

Fall of the Dark Magicians - Marlin Williams

     2025; 569 pages.  New Author? : No.  Genres : Action-Adventure; Dark Fantasy; Time Travel.  Overall Rating : 9½*/10.

 

    Stephanie Richardson has had enough.  Her husband Gerald is is not only involved in illicit arms deals, but he’s a wife-beater as well.  She’s been living comfortably off his money, but it’s no longer worth it.

 

    It’s time to go away, to get as far from Gerald as she can.  Maybe find some out-of-the-way island in the South Pacific where she can sit back, relax, and make a new life for herself.

 

  Although even there, she’d have to watch over her shoulder, always fearing that Gerald might find her.  If only she could fly away to someplace even further away.  To another world, even.

 

    Hmm.  Be careful what you wish for, Stephanie.  Sometimes, they have a way of coming true in unexpected ways.

 

What’s To Like...

   Fall of the Dark Magicians is Marlin Williams’ latest offering in the epic-fantasy genre.  If limited to six words, I’d describe it as “Lord of the Rings Meets Dune”.  Our protagonist, Stephanie, is a reluctant “Chosen One” who struggles against impossible odds to return a powerful artifact to its proper place, thereby saving a world or two.

 

    I loved the time-&-dimension travel mechanism.  Unlike most sci-fi chrono-hopping devices, using this one is rather dicey.  Oh, you’ll get zapped to a faraway cosmos alright, but good luck trying to figure out just where and when you'll get dropped into, those are variables.

 

    Just like in LOTR, the group of supporting (and opposing) characters are diverse and fascinating.  Some of them provide a bit of comic relief, others offer metaphysical pointers, and still others threaten imminent destruction to Stephanie and her cohorts.  One even stirs a romantic interest in her.  The character development of all of these is impressive; none of them are the same person by story’s end, albeit for a few, that's because they’re dead.

 

    Action and adventure abound, but Marlin Williams imbues some lightheartedness into the tale as well.  Two of the characters are curiously named Ida March and Rue Bella, a number of the chapter titles are wittily dubbed, and at one point Stephanie’s vegetarianism is sorely tested.  Several mystical oddities from this dimension are also referenced, including the Philadelphia Experiment and Chavin de Huantar. Both of those were new to me.  Look them up in Wikipedia; they will amaze you.

 

    Everything builds to a tense, exciting climax, with several  plot twists that will keep Stephanie, and the reader, on their toes.  Plot threads are resolved in what I call a “stutter-step” fashion, and that’s always a plus.  The Epilogue is both satisfying and heartwarming, and things close with a catchy little teaser for a sequel.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.8/5 based on 14 ratings and 14 reviews..

    Goodreads: 5.00/5 based on 2 ratings and 1 review.

 

Excerpts...

    “I shall have my revenge!”

    “Do not be a fool,” Shylite said, whirling to face his companion.  “That will only get you killed.”

    “I can have no peace without it,” Kamal told him.

    “Then go with my blessings,” Shylite replied.  He paused.  “But I will not join you.”

    “Where will you go?”

    “After I find my tribe,” said Shylite.  “We will hide.”

    “And continue to live a coward’s life, hiding like a rat inside a cave?” Kamal asked him.

    “There are worse things,” said Shylite.

    “Like what?”

    “Death.”  (pg. 96)

 

    I could’ve had you executed, like the others.  But that would’ve been . . . wasteful.”

    Stephanie’s voice came out low and steady.  “You think I’m part of a prophecy.”

    “I think you’re a variable,” Badra said flatly.  “And variables are dangerous.  They don’t fit the pattern.  They cause chaos.  But sometimes . . .”  She stopped in front of her.  “Sometimes chaos has its uses.”

    Stephanie met her gaze, unblinking.  “I’m not yours to use.”

    Badra tilted her head slightly.  “We’ll see.”  (pg. 465)

 

 

Kindle Details…

    Fall of the Dark Magicians currently sells for $5.99 at Amazon.  Marli Williams has seven other e-books for your reading pleasure, including novels, short story collections, and anthologies.  They range in price from $0.99 to $9.99.

 

“John Grinder is a man built out of scars.  Most of the time, he forgets he’s still bleeding.”  (pg. 113)

    There’s only a light amount of profanity in Fall of the Dark Magicians; I counted just 15 cusswords in the first 25% of the book.  There are a couple instances of drug usage, including Stephanie’s introduction to opium, but in no way is the partaking of drugs encouraged.

 

       There were some typos, the most glaring of which were several cases of misspelled character names: Caliamr/Calimar, Grider/Grinder, and Stehanie’s/Stephanie’s, but these weren’t frequent enough to be distracting.  Oh yeah, and if you're an animal lover, be warned: the horse dies.  So does the prairie dog.

 

    Overall, I thought this was a great read.  The writing is polished; the action is plentiful and the pacing was page-turning fast.  Fall of the Dark Magicians is a standalone novel, but I have a sneaking suspicion it is also the start of a series, which I am very much looking forward to.

 

    9½ Stars.  One last thing.  At one point, Stephanie resorts to Faraday’s Law in order to save the day.  Ultimately it was unsuccessful, but that was due to personnel issues, not scientific ones.  SCIENCE ROOLZ!!