Grand Portage - Scott Seeger

   2019; 259 pages.  Full Title: Grand Portage: One Man’s Journey to Bring Nuclear Power to the World.  New Author? : Yes.  Genre : Intrigue, Technology Fiction  Overall Rating : 3*/10.

    Portage.  The dictionary defines it as “the carrying of a boat or its cargo between two navigable waterways”.

    Generally we envision it as involving a canoe, with a pair of outdoors enthusiasts toting one through a forest on their shoulders.  I think I vaguely remember a Three Stooges comedy routine utilizing portaging.  Lots of running into trees and Moe whupping up on Curly.

    But it can apply to transporting larger vessels as well.  Wikipedia has an excellent article on it, with some neat pictures including one where a warship is portaged.  You can read about it here.

    But let’s stop thinking small here.  How would one go about portaging a full-sized aircraft carrier?  A person would have to be nuts to attempt that stunt.

    Well, meet Tyler Chambers.  He must be nuts.

What’s To Like...

    The titular challenge in Grand Portage tickled my fancy: how do you go about moving a huge aircraft carrier across land?  The book’s cover shows you Scott Seeger’s proposed answer, which is an intricate system comprised of bulldozers, tow lines, other mechanical devices, and last-but-not-least, a bunch of giant inflatable “logs” on which to roll the ship across land.  It's a take-off on how historians think the huge stones of Stonehenge and the Great Pyramids were moved, and seems plausible to me.

    The protagonist, Tyler Chambers, is the inventor of the “pool noodle” (who knew those things had a name?!), and apparently is noteworthy enough to where a bunch of our present-day leading innovators – Richard Branson, David Sacks, and Elon Musk, to drop a few names – invite him to join their confabs.  Highly unlikely, but hey, this is a work of fiction.  But Chambers has some character flaws as well, most notably some serious relationship issues with his wife.  Overall, he’s a “gray” (albeit, more light than dark) character, and I like it when a book’s characters aren’t just boringly straight black or white.

    The writing style is good; the storyline was presented clearly and I don’t recall any telling/showing issues.  There’s a nice variety of settings, including New York City, Lake Superior and the Upper Midwest, Nevada, and a whirlwind trip to mainland China.  The internet satire sensation “The Onion” gets mentioned, as does the outdated “Peter Principle”, which had a brief-but-hyper heyday way back in my salad days.  Even the quality guru, Malcolm Baldrige, gets a nod, which was ironic, since both his first and last names are misspelled as “Malcom Baldridge”.

    There’s a fair amount of cussing and at least one roll-in-the-hay.  Amazon labels the book’s genre  as “Acton-Adventure”, but that’s inaccurate.  The only action spots are one minor barroom brawl, and one egg being thrown later on.  Finally, there’s a nice tip-of-the-hat by the author to the “Aubrey/Maturin” book series, which I’d never heard of, but which apparently lots of other have.  I'll have to go looking for some books from it whence next I hit the bookstores; the Amazon blurbs on them are quite interesting.

Kindle Details...

    Grand Portage currently sells for $2.99 at Amazon.  Scott Seeger has two other e-books available at Amazon; they go for the same price.  All three have a right-wing bent to them, so if you’re of that political persuasion, you might want to check them out.   

Excerpts...

    Quietude.  He was sealed in his library.  He ran his fingers along the spines of the books.  He inhaled and relished the smell of the books, an affirmation of these few precious moments before the party.  He reflected on how a time and place once existed when he found little value in reading beyond academia. Why read fiction which contributes nothing to your knowledge when a universe of fact existed to further yourself?  Tyler wondered how he could have ever thought that way.  (loc. 1583)

    “Hey, you go see carrier?  Tolkov?”  The man had a Slavic face and drank a clear liquid on the rocks.  He spoke with a thick Eastern European accent.

    “That right (sic), seeing the Tolkov.”

    “Ahh, amazing boat.  I serve in Russia Navy, never Tolkov, but Varyag.  That’s cruise missile and intel.”

    “Ah, what brought you to Northern Minnesota?”

    “Ahh friends, you know, the weather too.  Like Siberia only more tropical.”  (loc. 3438)

“I’m the guy shooting crap into space.  I roll over the unknown and leave the flat-earthers in my wake.”  (loc. 678)

     Alas, the writing in Grand Portage is good, but the storytelling is another matter.  In relative brevity:

    Pacing.  If the picture on the book cover is what attracts you, you’d better have patience.  That part of the story doesn’t start until 27%, and its time on center stage is disappointingly spotty.  Scott Seeger is unashamedly pro-nuclear power, and spends a lot of time telling you why he feels that way.  Since most readers will be expecting an Action/Adventure tale, these nukes-are-good sermons get tedious.

    WTF’s.  There were a bunch.  Firstly, although you can get from Lake Superior to the ocean in a boat, the system of locks has size limits, and I’m pretty sure an aircraft carrier won’t fit.  Secondly, you mean to tell me a Russian aircraft carrier can make it on a waterway half the width of the United States and along an international border without our defense and intelligence systems being aware of that?!  Unbelievable.  Thirdly, the whole “diplomatic immunity” issue is baloney.  If that were true, I think Russia (or us, or any other nation) could infiltrate any territory they bloody well please.  Finally, if you think that, on the spur-of-the-moment, you can fly a bunch of people in your private jet to mainland China just to badmouth their coal-energy system, without prior notice and visas, you’re crazy.

    Editing.  I’m a grammar-cop, and this was a painful read.  Errors like boarders/borders, discrete/discreet, Ms. Farnsworth’s first name morphing from Lana to Lara, Premier/Premiere, and an atrocious misuse (or lack of use, to be pedantic) of commas.

    There were other issues, but these were the major ones.   If beta-readers, editors, and/or proofreaders weren’t used in the writing of this book, those resources should be seriously considered.  If they were used, better ones should be found.

    3 Stars.  One last thing.  I found out about Grand Portage via a paid advertisement of Facebook,  The ad is gone now, but the text was succinct and something along the lines of “Download it.  Enjoy it.  Write a review of it.  Tell your friends about it.”  The main challenge for every indie author is to get noticed by prospective readers.  I don’t know how much a Facebook ad like that costs, but it seems to me a worthwhile investment, even if 99% of those who download it never write a review.