Aye, Robot - Robert Kroese

    2017; 267 pages.  New Author? : No.  Book Two (out of 4, if you include the prequel) in the Starship Grifters series.  Genre : Spoof; Science Fiction.  Overall Rating : 7½*/10.

    Something’s wrong with Rex Nihilo lately.  His trusty robot sidekick, Sasha, is sure of it.  He’s too nice, and way too generous.  He doesn’t miss a chance to freely give some possession of his to anyone and everyone he meets.  And for a wheeling-dealing, what’s-in-it-for-me shyster like Rex, that’s totally out of character.

    This has been going on ever since they landed here, on Beltran Prime.  Maybe it’s due to something in the air, or in the water, or in the booze.  Maybe it was going on sometime before they landed, but curiously, neither Sasha nor Rex can recall anything from before Beltran Prime.  It’s strange that this bout with amnesia has affected them both, since Sasha, being a robot, doesn’t eat, drink, or breathe.

    Things are getting serious.  Rex has just given away the last of their money, so who knows where they’ll stay or how Rex will pay for his next meal.  It’s time to jump in their spaceship, and get out of here.

    Oops.  Rex just gave away their spaceship to a couple of religious cultists passing by.

    Now what?

What’s To Like...

    Aye, Robot is the sequel to Starship Grifters, which I read last year and reviewed here.  Rex and Sasha, our two protagonists, are back, along with the sexy Pepper Mélange and the dastardly Heinous Vlaak.  There are a slew of new characters as well.  Ensign Boggs joins Rex’s crew; so do a pair of robotic constructs, Donny (who likes to talk in the third person) and Steve-the-Parrot (just call him “Squawky”).  There are new baddies as well.  Space pirates.  Lots of them.

    If you read Starship Grifters and liked it, this is more of the same.  The pace is frenetic, the action is non-stop, the wit is Monty Python-ish, and the antics are over-the-top.  The plot meanders all over the place.  I was almost halfway through the book before I figured out what the main storyline was.

    Like any good space opera, the reader is treated to a bunch of planetary settings, including: Xagnon, New Borculo Nova, Schufnassik Six, and the ambiguously-labeled Secret Pirate Lair.  The spaceships also have intriguing names: Coccydynia, our heroes’ Flagrante Delicto, and the Chronic Lumbago.  Acronym lovers will thrill to learn the meanings of SLACS, WACS, IGA, HIM, and most-importantly, SASHA.

    The Sp’ossels are back, and I gather they will be recurring adversaries for Rex and Sasha, which I think is great.  Ditto for Heinous Vlaak.  There’s a new cult called the "Collective of the Inverted Ego", but I suspect they’re limited to being in this story only.  The "Retbutlerian Jihad" made me chuckle, and as a chemist, I’m interested in seeing where I can get some of the elemental "Zontonium".  Rex’s extended banter with the vendor about four arms and forearms is as hilarious as any Abbot & Costello routine.

    The story is told in the first person POV (Sasha’s), and 40 chapters cover the 258 pages, meaning there's a good place to stop about every 6½ pages.  The closest this book comes to being R-rated are a couple uses of the word “hell”, the galactic drug, Pheelsophine; and a mention of pain meds.  Aye, Robot is a standalone story, part of a 4-story series, and reading the books in order does not seem to be a requisite.

    The ending is suitably over-the-top, with everything working out for the good guys.  The main story thread is resolved, and there’s a teaser for Rex and Sasha’s next adventure, The Wrath of Cons, which was published last October.  The prequel, which is actually the third book in the series that Robert Kroese wrote, is called Out of the Soylent Planet, and awaits my attention on my Kindle.

Excerpts...

    “What are you seeing, Rex?” HIM asked.

    “It’s … it’s so beautiful,” Rex gasped, staring into empty space above the box.  His eyes were welling with tears.

    “We can’t see it, Rex,” said HIM.  “What is it?”

    “It’s… I can’t even describe it,” Rex said, his voice barely above a whisper.

    “Please try.”

    “It’s like someone mixed matter and energy together in a cosmic cocktail mixing glass, filled the glass with cubes of time, and then strained it into a martini glass the size of the universe.”

    HIM frowned.  “You’re seeing…”

    “A cosmic martini,” said Rex, still wide-eyed.  “My God, it’s full of olives.”  (loc. 403)

    “Mister Primate, sir,” said Rex, “If I may interject a moment, I think you’ll find once you’ve reviewed the evidence in my possession that Vlaak’s actions were fully justified and that he is, in fact, a bona fide hero of the Malarchy, deserving of medals and suchlike.”

    “Who are you?” the Primate demanded.

    “Rex Nihilo, Your Poignant Vibrancy.  And can I just say what an honor it is to meet an unquestioned despot such as yourself?  The way you subdue the entire galaxy with an iron grip is truly inspirational.”  (loc. 3608)

Kindle Details...

    Aye, Robot currently sells for $4.99 at Amazon.  Books One and Three are also $4.99, while Book Zero, the prequel, but the third book written, goes for $0.99.  Robert Kroese offers three other fantasy/sci-fi/satire series (Mercury, Iron Dragon, Land of Dis) and a couple of standalone mystery/sci-fi novels.  Most of his books are in the $0.99-$4.99 range, but the two mysteries are $7.99 and $13.99.

“Don’t get philosophical with me, you clockwork Kierkegaard.”  (loc. 225)

    The last 60 pages of Aye, Robot is a novella titled The Yanthus Prime Job, which starts at 77% and stars Pepper Mélange as a daring jewel thief.  The tone is darker and there are fewer yuk-yuks.  This is more of a “how’s she gonna pull the heist off” tale.

    The gem to be stolen is called the “Emerald of Sobalt Prime”, and the story is still set in the Rex Nihilo universe.  Pepper of course has lots of futuristic gadgets at her disposal, such as contact lenses that double as video-recording devices.  But the museum's security department also has access to that level of technology and builds some pretty sophisticated defenses for the gem.  The drug “Uforium” replaces Pheelsophine, and the ending has a couple of neat twists.

    I found The Yanthus Prime Job to be a great “extra” to Aye, Robot, and now wonder if some of Robert Kroese’s other series are more serious in nature.  I just assumed they were all as crazily over-the-top as the Rex Nihilo ones.  Fortunately, I have at least one book from each of his series on my Kindle, so I have no excuse not to investigate.

    7½ Stars.  Aye, Robot is a lighthearted book that isn’t intended to be taken seriously.  It’s aim is to be delightfully absurd and hold the reader’s interest, and it succeeds nicely on both of those counts.