Exile - R.A. Salvatore

    1990; 307 pages.  New Author? : No.  Book 2 (out of 33) in the Legend of Drizzt series.  Genres: Epic Fantasy; Dungeons & Dragons; Sword & Sorcery.  Overall Rating: 8*/10.

 

    The dark elf Drizzt Do’Urden is fleeing for his life.  All sorts of people want him killed.

 

    Some of them are his own kin.  There’s his three sisters: Briza, Vierna, and Maya; and his older brother, Dinin.  Briza’s the most dangerous.  She’s a high priestess, capable of some powerful, deadly spellcasting.

 

    Right now, Drizzt’s siblings are after him at the behest of his mother, Malice Do’Urden.  He’s to be caught and brought back to face judgment.  Malice is not someone you want mad at you.  Her proper title is “Matron Malice”, and she's the leader of House Do’Urden, one of the most powerful houses in Menzoberranzan.

 

    Still, Drizzt’s chances of eluding capture are decent.  He’s traipsing around in a huge maze of underground tunnels and caverns called The Underdark.  He’s explored the area a lot more than any of his siblings.  Alas, Drizzt has offended a more powerful foe than anyone in his family.  Lolth, aka “The Spider Queen”, the main deity of the Dark Elves.

 

    And let's face it: when a goddess is after you, you’re doomed.

 

What’s To Like...

    Exile is the second book in R.A. Salvatore’s Legends of Drizzt series.  It takes places ten years after the events in Book One, Homeland, which is reviewed here.  That means Drizzt’s been on the run for quite some time, although a decade is admittedly a small part of a dark elf’s lifespan.  His only companion is a magical panther named Guenhwyvar, but the cat lives on an astral plane and only comes when danger threatens Drizzt.  The loneliness of his exile is slowly killing Drizzt.

 

    The main plotline chronicles Lolth’s efforts, through Matron Malice, to destroy the renegade warrior.  But we also watch Drizzt try to make friends and find companions to join him in his wanderings.  That’s a difficult task, since befriending someone cursed by the gods generally means being marked for death as well.

 

    The story takes place almost entirely underground, with lots of critters and other races to cross paths with and often cross swords with as well.  The book cover shows Drizzt being threatened by a pack of illithids, nasty creatures whose name translates into “Mind Flayers”.

 

    I liked R.A. Salvatore’s lighthearted approach to naming some of the characters.  Yes, this is Epic Fantasy at its finest, but you have to smile when being introduced to someone named Belwar Dissenguip, Elviddinvelp, Bristan Fendlestick, and my favorite, King Schnicktick.

 

    The book is divided into 26 chapters, plus a very helpful prelude which gives a brief backstory of Book One.  The ending is spread out over the last three chapters.  As you’d expect, Drizzt successfully overcomes the threats to his life, but at some terrible and unexpected collateral costs.  Things close with a teaser for the next book in the series, Sojourn, with Drizzt contemplating a trip to the aboveground part of his world, to get better acquainted with what is perhaps the strangest race of creatures he’s met thus far.

 

    Humans.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.7/5 based on 6,828 ratings and 557 reviews.

    Goodreads: 4.23/5 based on 66,013 ratings and 1,522 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    “Get me information from Menzoberranzan, and quickly.  I like not the prospect of dark elves wandering about my front door.  It does so diminish the neighborhood.”

    Councilor Firble, the chief of covert security in Blingdenstone, nodded in agreement, though he wasn’t pleased by the request.  Information from Menzoberranzan was not cheaply gained, and it as often turned out to be a calculated deception as the truth.  Firble did not like dealing with anyone or anything that could outsmart him, and he numbered dark elves as first on that ill-favored list.  (loc. 1734)

 

    “Why do human wizards practice the art of magic at all?” Drizzt asked.

    Belwar shook his head.  “I do not believe that any scholars have yet discovered the reason,” he replied in all sincerity.  “A strange and dangerously unpredictable race are humans, and better to be left alone.”

    “You have met some?”

    “A few.”  Belwar shuddered, as though the memory was not a pleasant one.  “Traders from the surface.  Ugly things, and arrogant.  The whole of the world is only for them, by their thinking.”  (loc. 2555)

 

Kindle Details…

    Right now, Exile is selling for $7.99 at Amazon.  The other books in the series go for that same price.  R.A. Salvatore occasionally discounts a book or two, usually (but not always) from the first dozen books in the series.

 

“We do not consider friendship a debt.”  (loc. 1779)

    There’s very little profanity in Exile.  I noted less than a dozen cusswords throughout the whole book, most of which were “damn”.  When the circumstances called for swearing, the favorite phrase used was “magga cammara”, which means “by the stones”.  I don’t recall any “adult situations”.

 

    Overall, I found Exile to be a quick, yet entertaining read.  The pacing was quick, there was action aplenty, and the worldbuilding was once again fantastic.

 

    8 Stars.  One last plaudit for Exile.  The structure of the Dark Elves society is conspicuously matriarchal.  Women hold all the positions of power; there are high priestesses but no high priests; and Goddesses call the heavenly shots.  Males are generally regarded as dolts when it comes to spellcasting, and are really only useful when fighting is necessary.  I found this to be a refreshing deviation from the norm.

Sword of Destiny - Andrzej Sapkowski

   1993 (originally in Polish), 2015 (English translation); 374 pages.  Translator: David French.  Book 2 (out of 8) in “The Witcher” series.  New Author? : No.  Genres: Epic Fantasy; Anthology; Sword and Sorcery.  Overall Rating : 8*/10.

 

    Six more tales of the early adventures of the Witcher.  Back before he was featured in comic books, video games, role-playing quests, board games, and even a Russian rock opera called The Road of No Return.  Back when the only language the stories were issued in was Polish.

 

    This was in the early 90s when tales of the Witcher were only penned as short stories.  After a dozen or so of those, Andrzej Sapkowski, moved up to writing full-length novels, and still later his tales were translated into many other languages, including English.

 

    The short stories would be combined into two anthologies, each containing a half dozen tales.  I’ve read the first collection, The Last Wish; it is reviewed here.  I’ve finally got around to reading the second volume of those short stories, which is titled Sword of Destiny.

 

What’s To Like...

    The six tales in Sword of Destiny are:

1.) The Bounds of Reason (81 pages)

2.) A Shard of Ice (46 pages)

3.) Eternal Flame (50 pages)

4.) A Little Sacrifice (65 pages)

5.) Sword of Destiny (66 pages)

6.) Something More (59 pages)

 

    Unlike the selections in the first anthology, the stories here all seem to take place in chronological order.  They have other recurring characters besides the Witcher, who of course is in them all.  The bard Dandelion appears in 4 of the 6 tales, the sorceress Yenefer appears in 3, and the waif of destiny, Ciri, who I don’t recall being in the first anthology at all, makes her debut here via 2 of the stories.  I have a feeling these three will all continue to be present in the full-length novels that follow.

 

    Our heroes cross paths with a host of critters, including basilisks, dragons, dwarves, zeugls, halflings, dopplers, gnomes, mermaids, dryads, and myriapods.  All of them are worthy to be wary of.  There is some magic, including the Witcher’s ability to invoke certain “signs”, but sorcery is not necessarily a cure-all against a hacking-&-slashing warrior.  I liked that.

 

    The paperback version I read is written in English (translated, actually), not American, so you can fight with sabres, eat vittals and molluscs, be as barmy and nosey as you wish, and even carry a child pick-a-back.  The stories are set in various medieval-era villages, including one, Novigrad, which I presume references a present-day town in Croatia.  I enjoyed joining in with the Beltrane celebration in the Story 6, smiled smugly when halflings appeared in Story 3, was impressed by the mayor who haggled with the Witcher in Story 2, and snickered at the mention of cannabis, also in Story 2, where it is used as a balm/elixir.  Sure.

 

    All six stories were good, but my favorite was the first one, The Bounds of Reason, which is also the longest tale.  Without giving any spoilers, let us simply make the point that, while putting together a gang of thrill-seekers to go find and kill a dragon and divvy up the treasure trove it presumably is guarding, one of the group always has to confront the dragon first, and that poor soul almost always ends up burnt to a crisp.

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Snug (n.) : a small, comfortable public room in an inn or pub (a Britishism).
Others: Kilim (n.).

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.7/5 based on 30,294 ratings and 1,195 reviews.

    Goodreads: 4.28/5 based on 168,483 ratings and 9,356 reviews

 

Excerpts...

    “The Holy Book says,” Eyck said, now yelling loudly, “that the serpent, the foul dragon, with seven heads and ten horns, will come forth from the abyss!  And on his back will sit a woman in purple and scarlet, and a golden goblet will be in her hand, and on her forehead will be written the sign of all and ultimate whoredom!”

    I know her!” Dandelion said, delighted.  “It’s Cilia, the wife of the Alderman of Sommerhalder!”

    “Quieten down, poet, sir,” Gyllenstieren said.  (pg. 53)

 

    “I love her,” Agloval said firmly.  “I want her for my wife.  But for that she must have legs and not a scaly tail.  And it’s feasible, since I bought a magical elixir with a full guarantee, for two pounds of exquisite pearls.  After drinking it she’ll grow legs.  She’ll just suffer a little, for three days, no more.  Call her.  Witcher, tell her again.”

    “I’ve already told her twice.  She said absolutely no, she doesn’t consent.  But she added that she knows a witch, a sea witch, who is prepared to cast a spell to turn your legs into a handsome tail.  Painlessly.”

    “She must be insane!  She thinks I would have a fishy tail?  Not a chance!”  (pg. 184)

 

“To me, frankly speaking, you are equally loathsome.”  “Thank you.”  (pg. 40)

    It’s hard to find anything to grouse about in Sword of Destiny.

 

    There’s a moderate amount of cussing: I noted 27 instances in the first 20% of the book, and I’m curious as to how a translator handles Polish-to-English cusswords.  I imagine scatological and copulative vocabulary exists in both languages, but what about eternal judgment ones?

 

    That’s all I can complain about.  Yes, it is an anthology, and those are rarely as good as an author’s full-length novels.  But that just makes me anxious to start in on Book 3 of the series, Blood of Elves, which is not an anthology, and which I have on my Kindle.

 

    Summing up, Sword of Destiny was a pleasant reading surprise for me.  The writing/translating was masterfully done, and the dialogue was once again rich in Andrzej Sapkowski’s wit and humor.  None of the stories dragged, and deeper subjects, such as destiny and honor, are explored without the text becoming preachy.

 

    I’m tempted to take a look at the Netflix adaptation of the series, just to see how well the author’s literary skills segue onto the silver screen.

 

    8 Stars.  Sword of Destiny was the winner of the 2012 Tahtifantasia Award for Best Foreign Fantasy book released in Finland.  You say you’ve never heard of that?  Me neither, but it is nice to see that Wikipedia has a posting for it, and that Finland appreciates the labors of those who do Polish-to-Finnish translations.

Homeland - R.A. Salvatore

 

    1990; 315 pages.  New Author? : Yes.  Book 1 (out of 37, soon to be 38) in the Legend of Drizzt series.  Book 1 (out of 3) in the Dark Elf Trilogy series.  Genres: Epic Fantasy; Dungeons & Dragons; Sword & Sorcery.  Overall Rating: 8*/10.

    Some drow elves are born great.  Some achieve greatness.  Some have greatness thrust upon them.

 

    For the drow elf Drizzt Do’urden, the first isn’t true – he's the third son (“thirdboy”) of a minor House of Elves in the city of Menzoberranzan, and they normally are sacrificed immediately to the Spider Queen deity Lolth.

 

    It’s also doubtful that anyone will thrust greatness upon him.  More likely a dagger will be thrust between his ribs by one of his elder brothers as a preventative measure against Drizzt doing the same to them to climb up the House’s succession ladder.  Such things are natural occurrences in familial politics in Menzoberranzan.

 

   That leaves achieving greatness as the only option.  But only under a strictly-monitored upbringing: starting with being a house servant until age 15, then 5 years under the tutelage of a weapons master, followed by 10 more years at the Tier Breche Academy learning all about fighting, wizardry, and properly serving the merciless goddess Lolth.  Drizzt quickly becomes a stellar student there.

 

    Except for obeying the “properly serving” aspect.

 

What’s To Like...

    Homeland is the first book in R.A. Salvatore’s epic fantasy series “The Legend of Drizzt”.  There are now 38 books in this series, which are further divided into subsets consisting of 2-5 books apiece.  The setting ties in closely with Dungeons-&-Dragons’ (“D&D”) Forgotten Realms role-playing games.  This is epic fantasy at its finest, with lots of fantasy races (at least 20 of them here), artifacts, magic, Houses of Nobility, and schools of learning to keep the reader’s attention.

 

    Homeland serves as an introduction to the series.  The story commences with the Matron Malice, ruler of House Do’urden, pregnant, and eventually giving birth to Drizzt, whom we then follow through his three decades of training and first couple of combat operations on behalf of the goddess Lolth.  That might sound like a significant portion  of someone's existence, but the typical lifespan of an elf is a millennium or so.

 

    The world-building is superb.  The realm of the drow elves is entirely underground (“the Underdark”) and spending any time aboveground where the hated “surface elves” dwell (you and I would call them “faeries”) is a grueling experience, due to a big orange ball of fire in the sky.  The drow elf realms are matriarchal, which is a pleasant change of pace.  The ruling matron usually takes a (male) patron, mostly for offspring purposes, and can dump him for another at any time if he becomes boring.

 

    Daughters comprise the ruling succession line, with the non-eldest ones becoming prime candidates for the roles of high priestesses.  Females are generally much better at magic than males, and are also usually (but not always) more powerfully built as well.  High priestesses are clairvoyant, which means a male drow elf with a rebellious streak has to be careful of both what he says and what he thinks.  Drow elves are almost always paranoid – all other races are enemies to be slain, and all activity must be guided by the dictates of the Spider Goddess Lolth.

 

    The major characters here - the drow elves (including Drizzt’s family) and their scheming and competing Houses – are essentially “black hats”.  The main plotline is Drizzt coming to grips with that, the problems this realization causes him, and the difficult decisions he then has to make.  He crosses paths with a couple characters in the same quandary, which helps him try to resolve these difficulties.

 

    The ending is epic, exciting, D&D-ish, but without any plot twists to throw things askew.  That may sound like a criticism, but if you’ve ever participated in a D&D roleplaying game (I have), you’ll appreciate devising a well-thought-out plan of action that results in a well-deserved conclusion.  The book’s primary goal is attained – Drizzt is born, trained, introduced to the combat and intrigue of the Underdark, and is now ready for (at least) 37 more adventures.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.7/5 based on 3,964 ratings and 1,076 reviews.

    Goodreads: 4.25/5 based on 81,356 ratings and 2,777 reviews

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Weal (n.) : well-being, prosperity, happiness.

 

Excerpts...

    He put his head down and charged the mirror.

    Perhaps it was a teleportation door to another section of the city, perhaps a simple door to a room beyond.  Or perhaps, Alton dared to imagine in those few desperate seconds, this was some interplanar gate that would bring him to a strange and unknown plane of existence!

    He felt the tingling excitement of adventure pulling him on as he neared the wondrous thing—then he felt only the impact, the shattering glass, and the unyielding stone wall behind it.

    Perhaps it was just a mirror.  (loc. 623)

 

    Only twenty-two of the original twenty-five in Drizzt’s class remained.  One had been dismissed—and subsequently executed—for a foiled assassination attempt on a high-ranking student, a second had been killed in the practice arena, and a third had died in his bunk of natural causes—for a dagger in the heart quite naturally ends one’s life.  (loc. 2370)

 

Kindle Details…

    Right now, Homeland sells for $7.99 at Amazon.  The other 37 books in The Legend of Drizzt series run anywhere from $7.99 to $14.99, with the newer books being the more expensive.  $14.99 is the pre-order price for Book 38, which is scheduled to be released this coming August.

 

“I do not wish to waste my time conversing with a magical mouth.”  (loc. 808)

    There’s not much to gripe about in Homeland.  The book was surprisingly clean: I counted only nine cusswords in the first 33% of the book, all of them eschatological (“hell” and “damn”).  There is some violence, naturally.  I don't recall any “adult situations”.

 

    Most of the “made-up words” (piwafwi, thoqqua, svirfnebli, illithid, yochlol, et al.) are clearly explained when they first appear, but it took me a while to figure out what a “dweomer” was.  It’s a magic spell or ward.  I suspect I neglected to highlight its meaning when it first cropped up.

 

    Thanks to the book's cover image, the fate of Guenhwyvar was pretty obvious to me.  I was surprised though that it is not a made-up name, being a variant of the girl’s name “Guinevere”.  Now I just need to figure out how to pronounce it.

 

    That’s about it for the nit-picking, and those are all pretty miniscule.  I’ve been meaning to read something by R.A. Salvatore for quite a while now, and this introduction to his signature work lived up to my expectations.  I have a feeling that the Drizzt books get even better now that the worldbuilding is done and the (initial) main characters have been introduced.

 

    8 Stars.  Homeland is a standalone novel in addition to being the start of a 38-book series, full of magical beings, dodging life-threatening monsters and nasty spells.  There's even a subtle strand of humor woven into the story, as the first excerpt above demonstrates.  I think I'm gonna like The Legend of Drizzt.

House of Chains - Steven Erikson

   2002; 1,015 pages.  New Author? : No.  Book #4 (out of 10) in the Malazan Book of the Fallen series.  Genres : Epic Fantasy; Sword & Sorcery; Military Fantasy.  Overall Rating: 8*/10.

 

    A convergence is coming.  A gathering of forces building into an epic conflict.  A select few can feel it, and even  sense its location: it will take place in the barren wastes of the Raraku Desert.

 

    At the earthly level, it will pit two massive armies against each other.  On one side, the army of the Malazan Empire, commanded by the Adjunct Tavore, the Empress’s Chosen One.  Facing them, the Army of the Apocalypse, commanded by Sha’ik, the Whirlwind Goddess’s Chosen One.  A number of fringe characters will also be drawn into the fray, few in number but great in impact.

 

    But some of the mages can sense a higher level of convergence as well, involving the “Houses” of various gods and goddesses.  A new House trying to establish itself, which complicates things.  No one, not even the resident gods, is quite sure what new deity is behind this.

 

    But stirring beneath all of this is an even deeper level of convergence, one that has an “elemental” feel, one that could easily sway the battles between both the puny mortals and the petty deities.  Its source is the Raraku Desert itself.

 

What’s To Like...

    House of Chains, Book 4 in Steven Erikson’s epic fantasy series, is the sequel to Book 2, Deadhouse Gates, which I read three years ago and is reviewed here.  Books 1 and 3 are thus far a separate storyline, and I’m getting the feeling that this “alternating settings” technique is going to continue through most of this series.

 

    Here we follow the trials and travails of a number of characters, often traveling in pairs or small groups (a necessity if you want to inject dialogue into the text), as they are drawn slowly and inexorably toward the impending mega-battle. The opening portion of the book  introduces a new character, Karsa Orlong, who cuts a path of blood and destruction through various tribes that have the misfortune of being neighbors to his own clan.  In effect this amounts to a giant prologue, spanning about a quarter of the book, before we get to the main “convergence” storyline.

 

    The book is written in English, not American, with the usual weird-looking (to us Yanks) spellings like ageing, behaviour, offence, armour, no-one, and abraiding.  Yet oddly enough, the “ize-words”, such as realized, apologize, and recognize are spelled the American way.  This puzzled me until I discovered that Steven Erikson is Canadian.

 

    As always, the world-building, character-development and wittily thought-provoking dialogue are all superbly done.  That’s not an easy undertaking when you have a gazillion beings wandering all over the place on their way to Raraku, but Steven Erikson is up to the task, and I deeply appreciate the inclusion of a Dramatis Personae in the front and a Glossary in the back. 

    The ending is a mixed bag.  After more than 800 pages of herding the combatants to a meeting point, the final battle turns out to be somewhat less than epic.  But it does take around a hundred pages to cover it, and it kept me turning the pages the whole way.  It says something about Steven Erikson’s writing skills that he can pull this off, again and again, in this every-other-book storyline.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.7*/5, based on 1,415 ratings and 381 reviews.

    Goodreads: 4.34*/5, based on 41,219 ratings and 1,393 reviews

 

Kewlest New Word…

    Knout (n.) : a whip used to inflict punishment, usually causing death.

 

Excerpts...

    Karsa spoke in a low voice, “Torvald Nom, listen well.  A warrior who followed me, Delum Thord, was struck on the head.  His skull cracked and leaked thought-blood.  His mind could not walk back up the path.  He was left helpless, harmless.  I, too, have been struck on the head.  My skull is cracked and I have leaked thought-blood—”

    “Actually, it was drool—”

    “Be quiet. Listen.”  (pg. 171)

 

    “And that crossbow can lob cussers far enough?  Hard to believe.”

    “Well, the idea is to aim and shoot, then bite a mouthful of dirt.”

    “I can see the wisdom in that, Fid.  Now, you let us all know when you’re firing, right?”

    “Nice and loud, aye.”

    “And what word should we listen for?”

    Fiddler noticed that the rest of his squad had ceased their preparations and were now waiting for his answer.  He shrugged.  “Duck.  Or sometimes what Hedge used to use.”

    “Which was?”

    “A scream of terror.”  (pg. 753)

 

“It’s all a waste of breath, soldiers.  Sooner or later, we’re all marching in wide-eyed stupid.”  (pg. 850)

    The quibbles in House of Chains are minor and for the most part are the same ones I had with Deadhouse Gates.

 

    There’s a lot of intrigue in the story, but until we reach the final showdown, not a lot of action.  So if you’re looking for a hack-&-slash adventure, you’ll probably be disappointed, at least for the first 90% of the book.

 

    There are (fictional) pithy quotes at the start of each chapter, but this time around they didn’t do much for me.  There’s only a smattering of cussing (8 instances in the first 20%), and once again it’s mitigated by a number of colorful expressions invoking the locale deities, such as: “Beru fend!”, “Hood’s dripping tongue!”, “Fener’s tusks!”, and “Hood’s balls!”  In addition, there is a rape or two, and a molester of little girls who eventually gets his comeuppance.

 

    Lastly, my favorite group, the Bridgeburners, get very little ink here.  To be fair, most of them are dead, and those few who still live have been outlawed by the Malazan Empire.  A couple of the surviving members – including Quick Ben and Hedge – make cameo appearances, while others – such as Fiddler, Kalam, and Cuttle - are either using aliases or hiding out.  Late in the story, we do get one revelation about the Bridgeburners that gives me hope that some of the dead ones, Whiskeyjack and Dujek Onearm in particular, may resurface somewhere down the line.

 

    8 Stars.  ANAICT, “Malazan Book of the Fallen” is a completed series, which means I’m 40% of the way through it.  Book 7, Reaper’s Gate, is on my TBR shelf, but I don’t have Books 5 and 6, Midnight Tides and The Bonehunters. I may have to venture out into the Covid-infested world to find these.

The Witcher: The Last Wish - Andrzej Sapkowski

   1993 (in Polish), 2007 (English translation); 281 pages.  Translator: Danusia Stok.  Book 1 (out of 8) in “The Witcher” series.  New Author? : Yes.  Genres: Fantasy; Anthologies; Sword and Sorcery.  Overall Rating : 7½*/10.

 

    I hear your question: what's a “Witcher”?  A wizard?  A druid?  A healer?  A sorcerer?  A cleric?  None of the above?  All of the above?

 

    Well, anyone who asks that must be living under a rock.  Netflix airs a TV series of it, and I’m 99% certain the book cover image to the left is from there; the show's one of their many megahits.

 

    The Netflix shows are based on an 8-book series that started it all, penned by Andrzej Sapkowski.  If he’s not your cup of tea, there are a bunch of spin-off books by other authors (with Sapkowski's permission) set in the same fantasy world.  If you prefer pictures with your reading, there’s also a line of Witcher comic books/graphic novels.

 

    Even if reading isn’t your shtick, you still have lots of options: there are video games, role-playing computer games, and even card games and board games, all based on the Witcher universe.  So the question is: how could anyone NOT know what a witcher is?

 

    Well, I didn’t.  That’s why I read the first book in the series, titled The Witcher: The Last Wish.

 

What’s To Like...

    The title The Witcher: The Last Wish is a bit misleading – the book is actually a collection of six short stories, all set in the Witcher world, with a seventh tale interspersed throughout the book in a “Frame Story” format.  What is a frame story, you ask?  Well, think of a Canterbury Tales or 1001 Arabian Nights format, where a bunch of "mini-tales" are set within a larger, overall “frame” story.

 

    To answer the question posed in the introduction, a witcher is primarily a hired monster-eliminator.  In most cases, that means slaying the critter, but our protagonist witcher, Geralt of Rivia, seems to specialize in finding more humane methods.  That’s of great importance if, say, the monster is really your daughter who’s been transformed by an evil curse.

 

    Geralt knows a modicum of magic – mostly reciting incantations while doing a finger-manipulation to make “signs”, such as the “Sign of Axii” (good for calming horses), the “Sign of Heliotrope”, etc.  But a witcher usually prefers fighting with a sword instead of a wand, and wizards and witchers mostly don’t like each other.  Indeed, witchers don’t get along with most people.

 

    There’s no shortage of fantasy creatures in these tales,  We meet dwarves, elves, strigas, rusalkas, vampires, a kikimora (already dead, thankfully), a deovel (devil), plus many others at least getting mentioned.  No hobbits/halflings have shown up yet, but I fully expect them to.  There are also gods and goddesses, although the only one here is a goddess called Melitele.  We also get a few references to well-known fairytales such as Cinderella, Rumpelstiltskin, Aladdin, and the Troll Under the Bridge. 

 

    So what separates these Witcher stories from the other gazillion fantasy books out there?  Well, here, monsters can talk and be polite.  Dandelion, Geralt’s bard buddy, prefers to play the bagpipes, not some stringed instrument.  We learn some words in Elvish, admittedly a nod to the Lord of the Rings, but here it was even more fun to learn to cuss in Dwarvish.

    The title of the book, which is also a name of one of the short stories, references the “third” of three wishes that every genie is forced to grant if you gain possession of him.  And what I liked most of all in these stories was the subtle strand of humor running throughout all the fantasy "epic-ness".

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Voivode (n.) : a military leader; a warlord (Slavic).
Others: Rosace (n.); Castellan (n.); Demijohn (n.).

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.7/5 based on 19,823 ratings.

    Goodreads: 4.12/5 based on 227,899 ratings and 15,250 reviews

 

“Things That Sound Dirty, But Aren’t…

    “Carrypebble! Into the cesspool with the monster!”  “As you command.”  (loc. 1344)

 

Excerpts...

    “Two years ago peasants from some godforsaken hole near Mahakam were plagued by a dragon devouring their sheep, They set out together, battered the dragon to death with stanchions, and did not even think it worth boasting about.  But we in Wyzin are waiting for a miracle and bolting our doors every full moon, or tying our criminals to a stake in front of the palace, praying the beast stuffs herself and returns to the sarcophagus.”

    “Not a bad method.”  The witcher smiled.  “Are there fewer criminals?”

    “Not a bit of it.”  (loc. 237)

 

    “They’ve gone completely mad – the villages are teeming with girls, but they want humanoids.  Another asks me to kill a mecopteran and bring him a bone from its hand because, crushed and poured into a soup, it cures impotence-“

    “That’s rubbish,” interrupted Dandelion.  “I’ve tried it.  It doesn’t strengthen anything and it makes the soup taste of old socks.  But if people believe it and are inclined to pay-“  (loc. 2700)

 

Kindle Details…

    Right now, The Witcher: The Last Wish sells for $7.99 at Amazon.  Book Three in the series, Blood of Elves, sells for that price as well; the other six books in the series each go for $9.99.  Andrzej Sapkowski has also penned the first book in a new fantasy series called “The Hussite Trilogy”, The Tower of Fools, and it goes for $9.99, and Book Two of that series, Warriors of God, is scheduled to be released this coming October 19.

 

“I hope you die, you son-of-a-catfish.”  (loc. 3626)

    There are some quibbles.  I’m not the first one to pick this book up, expecting an epic fantasy tale, only to find out it’s a bunch of short stories.  Furthermore, to be honest, the first one left me unimpressed, and I was wondering what all the hoopla about this series was, and whether the rest of the books were also going to use this “frame story” template.

 

    Even worse, the seven tales are not story-chronological.  I suspect they’re in the order that Andrzej Sapkowski wrote them, and it made for some confusion.  An example: early on, Geralt bemoans the parting of the ways between him and a backstory-less female named Yennefer.  Then, much later on, we read about when the two of them first meet.  The timeline of Geralt and Dandelion meeting and teaming up is similarly non-linear.

 

    But the stories get longer as the book progresses, and the writing (translating?) gets better as well.  And although Book Two in the series, Sword of Destiny, is also a collection of short stories, the other six books are in standard epic-fantasy format.  I’m tempted to skip directly to Book Three.

 

    7½ Stars.  Despite the quibbles, The Witcher: The Last Wish accomplished exactly what I desired: it gave me a “feel” for the Witcher universe.  Most of the praise I’ve heard about it references the Netflix series (though I’ve been warned that its storyline is also non-linear), and I’m now prepared to give it a try.  But I still prefer reading to spectating, so I’m still going to be on the lookout for a discounted e-book or used paperback version of the third book, Blood of Elves.

Memories Of Ice - Steven Erikson

   2001; 913 pages.  New Author? : No.  Book 3 (out of 10) in the “Malazan Book of the Fallen” series.  Genre : Epic Fantasy; Sword & Sorcery.  Overall Rating : 8½*/10.

    A new scourge, incredibly large, has appeared out of the south, threatening the Malazan-controlled city-states in northern Genabackis.  It calls itself the Pannion Domin and the citizens of all cities in its path will be subjected to unimaginable horror.

    The choice is conversion or death.  To convert means to never eat food again.  Your only source of sustenance is cannibalism.  You feast on those who decline to convert.  The conversion rate is impressive, but you soon run out of victims to devour.  Then there's only one thing to do.  Go north and conquer another city.  And tell those hapless citizens to convert or die.

    The Pannion Domin seems unstoppable, but if there is any hope at all, the northern powers will need to unite and conduct a coordinated attack.  Sadly, none of them trust each other, and everyone seems to have hidden agendas.

    That includes the small but famed fighting force known as “Onearm’s Host”, which unfortunately is currently considered to be a renegade Malazan army.  They’re a veteran bunch, and their motto is “First in, last out.”  They’d be a logical choice to spearhead to counterattack on the Pannion Domin.

    Unfortunately, whoever leads the charge will most likely suffer grievous casualties.  The odds are rather slim of anyone in the “first in” group being alive to be the “last out”.

What’s To Like...

    Memories of Ice is Book 3 in this series and is the follow-up to the storyline started in the initial book, Gardens of the Moon, which is reviewed here.  My favorite set of characters in this sword-&-sorcery world, Whiskeyjack and his Bridgeburners, are once again in the spotlight.  But as usual, Steven Erikson weaves a bunch of seemingly disparate plot threads into a gritty and fascinating tale.  To wit:

1.) The Bridgeburners and others try to stop bickering, and unite to oppose the Pannion Domin.

2.) Gruntle and others guard and guide a caravan through dangerous territory.

3.) Lady Envy, Tool, and Toc the Younger form a small but deadly fighting force.

4.) The T’lan Imass respond en masse to a summoning.

5.) Quick Ben seeks to save the Sleeping Goddess.

6.) Ganoes Paran is about to be promoted, whether he wants it or not.

7.) Anomander Rake goes MIA.

    The threads all start quite far apart from one another, their individual intents are “fluid”, and it’s fun to read/watch as they gradually converge.  In lesser hands, the story would get annoyingly confusing, but the author handles it all deftly.  It helped to have a handy Dramatis Personae at the start of the book, and an equally useful Glossary in the back.

    The character development is phenomenal.  Sixty or more beings – whether living, dead, undead, magical, or ascendant – are each given unique and memorable personalities.  The world-building is equally impressive.  There are two maps at the start of the book, but frankly, I found Erikson’s descriptions to be sufficient to “feel my way” across the various lands.

    There’s a nice blend of recurring characters and new ones.  Paran now assumes a more significant role, and Kruppe continues to be an enigmatic figure.  I think Gruntle, the Mhybe, Norul, Anaster, and Ormulogun are all new characters, they were all fun to meet, and I suspect they’ll all have a significant impact on the saga.  Ditto for the weird-and-fascinating fighting group called the “Motts Irregulars”, whom I can only describe as “hillbilly fantasy”.

    The fighting scenes are limited to the battles over two cities – Capustan and Coral.  Both are protracted struggles, and you won’t feel cheated when it comes to epic thrills-&-spills.  Some good guys die, some bad guys survive, and everyone that’s mortal begins to get the creepy feeling that they’re just puppets being manipulated by gods who have their own agendas.  I liked that concept.

    The book closes nicely, with 200 pages or so about the fighting in Coral.  The main issue – the threat posed by the Pannion Domin – is resolved, albeit at a terrible cost in lives.  Steven Erikson catches the reader up on where all the main (surviving) characters intend to go from here, and lays down some teasers for events that I assume will take place in Book 5.  Book 4, House of Chains, will follow up on events in the completely separate storyline in Book 2, Deadhouse Gates (reviewed here, and resides on my TBR bookcase, awaiting my attention..

Kewlest New Word ...

Geas (n.) : an obligation or prohibition magically imposed upon a person.  (Irish).

Excerpts...

    “Hey, you could break my nose again – then we could straighten it and I’d be good as new.  What say you, Stonny?  Would the iron petals of your heart unfold for me?”

    She sneered.  “Everyone knows that two-handed sword of yours is nothing but a pathetic attempt at compensation, Harllo.”

    “He’s a nice turn at the poetic, though,” Gruntle pointed out.  “Iron petals – you couldn’t get more precise than that.”

    “There’s no such thing as iron petals,” Stonny snorted.  “You don’t get iron flowers.  And hearts aren’t flowers, they’re big red, messy things in your chest.  What’s poetic about not making sense?  You’re as big an idiot as Buke and Harllo, Gruntle.  I’m surrounded by thick-skulled witless fools.”

    “It’s your lot in life, alas,” Gruntle said.  “Here, have some tea – you could do with … the warmth.”  (pg. 98)

    “I intend to retire, to disappear if need be.  I’m done.  With all of this.  Some log cabin in some frontier kingdom, a long way from the Empire.”

    “And a wife swinging a pot at your head.  Marital, domestic bliss – you think Korlat will settle for that?”

    Whiskeyjack smiled at the High Fist’s gentle mockery.  “It’s her idea – not the pot-swinging – that’s your particular nightmare, Dujek.  But all the rest … all right, not a log cabin.  More like a remote, wind-battered keep in some mountain fastness.  A place with a forbidding view.”

    “Well,” Dujek drawled, “you can still plant a small vegetable garden in the courtyard.  Wage war against weeds.”  (pg. 738)

“Beru fend me.  I underestimate even the true idiots in this company.”  (pg. 345)

     The quibbles are few.  There’s some cussing, but not a lot, using both our own standard expressions and some more imaginative Malazan-world ones (such as “Togg’s balls!”), and I thought it fit in nicely with the gritty “War is Hell” tone of the story.  There is also one instance of sexual assault, but it is handled as discreetly as possible.

    There are two maps – one of the city of Capustan, the other of the continent of Genabackis – at the start of the book, but I’d still like to see one showing the whole world.  Also, Steven Erikson seems to have a couple of choice words that he uses whenever he can – efficacy, susurration, surcease, acuity, dissembling, coruscating – but IMO, they’re all way-kewl words.

    Finally, the book is written in English, not American, so “none the less” is three words, “no-one” has a hyphen, and your scepticism might be wilful, loth, labouring, or smouldering.  Reading a story in a "foreign" language might not be to everyone’s taste, but I’ve always enjoyed tales by British authors.

    8½ Stars.  ANAICT, the Malazan Book of the Fallen is a completed 10-volume series, disregarding prequels and novellas.  I’m still thoroughly enjoying the stories, but I note that, as is true for more writers of epic fantasy, the books get longer as the series progresses.  The last 5 books seem to all be in the 1200-1300 pages length.  One should choose sagely before entering into any epic fantasy series.