Thursday, July 8, 2021

The Witcher: The Last Wish - Andrzej Sapkowski

   1993 (in Polish), 2007 (English translation); 281 pages.  Translator: Danusia Stok.  Book 1 (out of 8) in “The Witcher” series.  New Author? : Yes.  Genres: Fantasy; Anthologies; Sword and Sorcery.  Overall Rating : 7½*/10.

 

    I hear your question: what's a “Witcher”?  A wizard?  A druid?  A healer?  A sorcerer?  A cleric?  None of the above?  All of the above?

 

    Well, anyone who asks that must be living under a rock.  Netflix airs a TV series of it, and I’m 99% certain the book cover image to the left is from there; the show's one of their many megahits.

 

    The Netflix shows are based on an 8-book series that started it all, penned by Andrzej Sapkowski.  If he’s not your cup of tea, there are a bunch of spin-off books by other authors (with Sapkowski's permission) set in the same fantasy world.  If you prefer pictures with your reading, there’s also a line of Witcher comic books/graphic novels.

 

    Even if reading isn’t your shtick, you still have lots of options: there are video games, role-playing computer games, and even card games and board games, all based on the Witcher universe.  So the question is: how could anyone NOT know what a witcher is?

 

    Well, I didn’t.  That’s why I read the first book in the series, titled The Witcher: The Last Wish.

 

What’s To Like...

    The title The Witcher: The Last Wish is a bit misleading – the book is actually a collection of six short stories, all set in the Witcher world, with a seventh tale interspersed throughout the book in a “Frame Story” format.  What is a frame story, you ask?  Well, think of a Canterbury Tales or 1001 Arabian Nights format, where a bunch of "mini-tales" are set within a larger, overall “frame” story.

 

    To answer the question posed in the introduction, a witcher is primarily a hired monster-eliminator.  In most cases, that means slaying the critter, but our protagonist witcher, Geralt of Rivia, seems to specialize in finding more humane methods.  That’s of great importance if, say, the monster is really your daughter who’s been transformed by an evil curse.

 

    Geralt knows a modicum of magic – mostly reciting incantations while doing a finger-manipulation to make “signs”, such as the “Sign of Axii” (good for calming horses), the “Sign of Heliotrope”, etc.  But a witcher usually prefers fighting with a sword instead of a wand, and wizards and witchers mostly don’t like each other.  Indeed, witchers don’t get along with most people.

 

    There’s no shortage of fantasy creatures in these tales,  We meet dwarves, elves, strigas, rusalkas, vampires, a kikimora (already dead, thankfully), a deovel (devil), plus many others at least getting mentioned.  No hobbits/halflings have shown up yet, but I fully expect them to.  There are also gods and goddesses, although the only one here is a goddess called Melitele.  We also get a few references to well-known fairytales such as Cinderella, Rumpelstiltskin, Aladdin, and the Troll Under the Bridge

 

    So what separates these Witcher stories from the other gazillion fantasy books out there?  Well, here, monsters can talk and be polite.  Dandelion, Geralt’s bard buddy, prefers to play the bagpipes, not some stringed instrument.  We learn some words in Elvish, admittedly a nod to the Lord of the Rings, but here it was even more fun to learn to cuss in Dwarvish.


    The title of the book, which is also a name of one of the short stories, references the “third” of three wishes that every genie is forced to grant if you gain possession of him.  And what I liked most of all in these stories was the subtle strand of humor running throughout all the fantasy "epic-ness".

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Voivode (n.) : a military leader; a warlord (Slavic).
Others: Rosace (n.); Castellan (n.); Demijohn (n.).

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.7/5 based on 19,823 ratings.

    Goodreads: 4.12/5 based on 227,899 ratings and 15,250 reviews

 

“Things That Sound Dirty, But Aren’t…

    Carrypebble! Into the cesspool with the monster!”  “As you command.”  (loc. 1344)

 

Excerpts...

    “Two years ago peasants from some godforsaken hole near Mahakam were plagued by a dragon devouring their sheep, They set out together, battered the dragon to death with stanchions, and did not even think it worth boasting about.  But we in Wyzin are waiting for a miracle and bolting our doors every full moon, or tying our criminals to a stake in front of the palace, praying the beast stuffs herself and returns to the sarcophagus.”

    “Not a bad method.”  The witcher smiled.  “Are there fewer criminals?”

    “Not a bit of it.”  (loc. 237)

 

    “They’ve gone completely mad – the villages are teeming with girls, but they want humanoids.  Another asks me to kill a mecopteran and bring him a bone from its hand because, crushed and poured into a soup, it cures impotence-“

    “That’s rubbish,” interrupted Dandelion.  “I’ve tried it.  It doesn’t strengthen anything and it makes the soup taste of old socks.  But if people believe it and are inclined to pay-“  (loc. 2700)

 

Kindle Details…

    Right now, The Witcher: The Last Wish sells for $7.99 at Amazon.  Book Three in the series, Blood of Elves, sells for that price as well; the other six books in the series each go for $9.99.  Andrzej Sapkowski has also penned the first book in a new fantasy series called “The Hussite Trilogy”, The Tower of Fools, and it goes for $9.99, and Book Two of that series, Warriors of God, is scheduled to be released this coming October 19.

 

“I hope you die, you son-of-a-catfish.”  (loc. 3626)

    There are some quibbles.  I’m not the first one to pick this book up, expecting an epic fantasy tale, only to find out it’s a bunch of short stories.  Furthermore, to be honest, the first one left me unimpressed, and I was wondering what all the hoopla about this series was, and whether the rest of the books were also going to use this “frame story” template.

 

    Even worse, the seven tales are not story-chronological.  I suspect they’re in the order that Andrzej Sapkowski wrote them, and it made for some confusion.  An example: early on, Geralt bemoans the parting of the ways between him and a backstory-less female named Yennefer.  Then, much later on, we read about when the two of them first meet.  The timeline of Geralt and Dandelion meeting and teaming up is similarly non-linear.

 

    But the stories get longer as the book progresses, and the writing (translating?) gets better as well.  And although Book Two in the series, Sword of Destiny, is also a collection of short stories, the other six books are in standard epic-fantasy format.  I’m tempted to skip directly to Book Three.

 

    7½ Stars.  Despite the quibbles, The Witcher: The Last Wish accomplished exactly what I desired: it gave me a “feel” for the Witcher universe.  Most of the praise I’ve heard about it references the Netflix series (though I’ve been warned that its storyline is also non-linear), and I’m now prepared to give it a try.  But I still prefer reading to spectating, so I’m still going to be on the lookout for a discounted e-book or used paperback version of the third book, Blood of Elves.

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