Average Joe and the Extraordinaires - Belart Wright

    2014; 340 pages.  New Author? : Yes.  Genre : Fantasy; High School Literature.  Overall Rating : 4½*/10.

    Joe Black is having a perfect day.  He’s with his high school sweetie, Kate, and her younger brother, Mod; and they’re sitting in the local stadium, watching their home team play their arch rival.

    It’s a shame that something would happen to ruin Joe’s afternoon, but a huge explosion at the stadium during the game will do just that.  And in the mass stampede of frightened spectators that ensues, Joe spots security personnel shooting at a fleeing woman.

    I guess she could be the perpetrator, but hot dang, she’s gorgeous.  Joe is your average high school guy with a keen appreciation for female beauty, and in the mad rush to escape the stadium, he’s become separated from Kate.  So instinct tells him to help the damsel in distress.  Well, maybe it was the hormones talking, but same dif’, right?

    Besides, how much trouble could he get into by helping her?

What’s To Like...

    The primary storyline is great: an “average Joe” gets entangled in a much bigger set of schemes and counter-schemes, and despite his ineptitude (he is, after all, just average), he ends up playing a critical role in thwarting the baddies’ plans.

    There’s lots of action in Average Joe & The Extraordinaires, and it starts right away.  Joe is an interesting character study as his “averageness” is put to the test under heroic circumstances.  There’s some magic and fantasy woven into the story, but it doesn’t overwhelm the events of the plotline.  Indeed, if anything, there were times when I felt the magic-wielders were rather dim-witted about not using their talents more.  There’s also a mild sort of wit throughout the book that I found to be “just right”.

    The characters and setting are almost entirely high school-related, and perhaps that gives a clue as to the author’s age and writing style.  There’s too much telling and not enough showing, and the template for all the dialogue (Speaker, colon, quote) is awkward and leaves the text dull and flat.

    The high school scenes felt forced and over-the-top.  The cafeteria bullying just didn’t seem real to me; ditto for the teacher monitors who repeatedly looked the other way.  Then again, it’s been a while since my high school days; maybe things have gotten a lot tougher there.

    I don’t remember any cussing, and the romance is more puppy-love than R-rated.  There’s no drug-usage and the only alcohol passage involves the kids sneaking a couple of brewskies into the big game.  If that upsets you, you have issues.

Kindle Details...

    Average Joe & The Extraordinaires sells for $0.99 at Amazon.  Belart Wright has one other offering at Amazon, a short story called Story of K (59 pages), also for $0.99.  It appears a sequel is in the works for AJ&TE.

Excerpts...

    “Now Modicum’s likes include pretending to be Ronald Weasley, wishing he was Fleez and Dozz and sometimes Byron, girls he can’t have, and an unreachable popularity status.  His dislikes include himself, life, not feasting on souls, you, his haircut, his evil soulless ginger body, and having friends that won’t join team Badd Azz.  His favorite date spot is his mom and dad’s room cuz that’s where all the magic happens.  On Saturday nights, he likes to make out with his elbows, which is a talent really.  You ever try that?  It’s very difficult to do.  He also builds Taylor Swift idols with his Lego collection, prays for popularity, and watches whole seasons of Glee that he’s personally recorded and sings to."  (loc. 2236)

    He took notes on his current book, A Clockwork Orange, which Mrs. Lane, who was also a Psychology major, constantly raved about.  He couldn’t make heads or tail of it.  The main character, Alex, seemed more of a bad guy than anything else.  Joe never liked to root for the bad guy, so he didn’t see the point in reading this book.  All the same, he forced himself to take notes on it.  After a few hours, he noted that the good guys seemed to be more twisted than Alex himself.  (loc. 3244)

 “If anything happens to her I’m going to find you and besmirch you.”  “Besmirch?”  (loc. 390)

    The major weakness of Average Joe & The Extraordinaires is the ending.  There is none.  The story just kinda grinds to a halt in mid-plotline.  Some damsels in distress get rescued, at least temporarily, but that’s about it.  None of the threads get tied up.  To wit:

    Why are the baddies doing their nefarious deeds?  Why’s everything FUBAR at the high school?  How does the magic system work and why is it there?  What’s at the bottom of the stadium and how’d the subterranean levels get built there without anyone knowing about it?   What’s so special about Melissa?  About Liandra?  About Dahlila?  Who are the Extraordinaires and what’s their role in all this?

    I recognize this is conceived as the start of a series, and that some of these things are to be reserved for later books.  But nothing is resolved here.  Basically, the only thing that happens is that the reader gets introduced to the various characters in the saga.

    So here’s the proffered path forward.  Cut the length of this book in half.  Add it to whatever is coming in Book 2.  Make sure one or more of the plot threads gets resolved, and wrap it around an exciting tale that moves the "big picture" storyline forward.  Scrap the funky dialogue format.  Get some beta-readers that aren’t afraid to critique.  Now that the first draft is done (which is the creative, fun part), start polishing the text (which isn’t nearly as fun).  When done, polish some more.

    4½ Stars.  Despite the weaknesses, the core concept of Average Joe & The Extraordinaires has enormous potential.  But an engaging tale doesn’t just “flow” from the pen.  It requires lots of blood, sweat, and rewrites.

Pirate Latitudes - Michael Crichton

2009; 384 pages.  New Author? : No.  Genre : Action-Adventure.  Overall Rating :  8*/10.

    In 1665, Port Royal on the island of Jamaica is one of the few places in the Caribbean where the Union Jack proudly flies.  A sensible British subject living there might view that as a precarious situation.  But an optimistic British privateer would see it as lots of opportunities to "liberate" good from Spanish galleons.  And Captain Charles Hunter is definitely opportunistic.

What's To Like...
    The action is non-stop.  The plot twists are many.  The setting is vividly real, even if Crichton added a couple imaginary islands (and a critter) to the story.  The women are all strong characters.  Do not mess with them.  Especially the gay one.

    This is an early Crichton effort that was never published until its manuscript was found on his computer after his death.  Anecdotal evidence (see Wikipedia) indicates it was already around, at least as a rough draft, in 1979.

    As such, there are some things (such as the critter) that strain the limits of believability.  Also, the pacing is erratic - it seems to take longer to scale a not-indispensible cliff than to carry out the boffo ending.

Kewlest New Word...
None, really.  There were some technical terms, mostly about cannons.  That's about it.

Excerpts...
    Port Royal, in 1665, was a boomtown.  In the decade since Cromwell's expedition had captured the island of Jamaica from the Spanish, Port Royal had grown from a miserable, deserted, disease-ridden spit of sand into a miserable, overcrowded, cutthroat-infested town of eight thousand.  (pg. 9)

    "You are nothing," she sputtered, "but a bastard, a rogue, a cutthroat vicious rascally whore-son scoundrel."
    "At your service," Hunter said, and kissed her.
    She broke away.  "And forward."
    "And forward," he agreed, and kissed her again.
    "I suppose you intend to rape me like a common street woman."
    "I doubt," Hunter said, stripping off his wet clothing, "that it will be necessary."
    And it was not.
    "In daylight?" she said, in a horrified voice, and those were her last intelligble words.  (pgs. 91-92)

Jamaica ... "was not a region burdened by moral excesses."  (pg. 6)
    Keep in mind that Michael Crichton never intended for Pirate Latitudes to be published in its present form.  To bring it up to "Jurassic Park standards" would require some significant time and rewriting.  Perhaps he intended to do this "someday".

    It isn't "Cri-Fi", although the meticulous attention to detail brings the story to life and presages Crichton's later, polished works.   Pirate Latitudes is purely and simply a swashbuckling action story, with every pirate cliché possible woven into the plot.

    Therefore the occasional technical clunkiness is forgiven.  Michael Crichton is shown to be a master storyteller, even in the early days of his career.  If you liked Pirates of the Caribbean, but wished it had been a sconch less zany, Pirate Latitudes may be just your cup of grog.  8 Stars.

The Paris Vendetta - Steve Berry

2009; 472 pages.  New Author? : No.  Genre : Action.  Book #5 in Berry's Cotton Malone series.  Overall Rating : 8*/10.

    Cotton Malone's bookshop/home is crowded tonight.  Two hitmen have snuck in since he went to bed.  But they're not here to kill him.  Instead they're after an ex-Secret Service agent, Sam Collins, who also broke into Cotton's place after he went to sleep.

    Ah, but Rule #1 for bad guys is - never ever invade the home of the book's hero.

What's To Like...
    The action starts immediately and doesn't stop.  There are lots of storylines.  To wit : (01) Rommel's gold; (02) Napoleon's gold; (03) Evil finance experts rigging the global economy; (04) Henrik Thorvaldsen's revenge; (05) the world's most ruthless terrorist; (06) taking out the Eiffel Tower.

    Steve Berry does a good job interweaving these disparate plotlines, although at times it feels a bit forced.  Most of the book takes place in Paris, and that's always a plus with me.  He even sprinkles a bit of French dialogue in the book, although one gets the feeling that Berry's vocabulaire français is rather limited.  There are twists and surprises, and a well-crafted ending - precisely what you've come to expect from this author.

Kewlest New Word...
 Marplot : a meddlesome person whose activity interferes with the plans of others.

Excerpts...
    "Here's another reality," she said.  "Wars have always been financed by debt.  The greater the threat, the greater the debt."
    He waved her off.  "And I know the next part, Eliza.  For any nation to involve itself in war, it must have a credible enemy."
    "Of course.  And if they already exist, magnifico."
    He smiled at her use of his native tongue, the first break in his granite demeanor.
    "If enemies exist," she said, "but lack military might, money can be provided to build that might.  If they don't exist-"  She grinned.  "-they can always be created."  (pgs. 28-29)

    History is prophecy, looking backwards.  (pg. 49)

There is nothing more deceptive than an obvious fact.  (pg. 124)
    For all its action, The Paris Vendetta is more of a "relationship" book.  Thorvaldsen's obsession with avenging his son's death puts a critical strain on his several-books-long friendship with Cotton, who ultimately will have to choose where his loyalty lies - with his friend (who saved his life) or with his country.

    The action itself is a little less exciting than in the previous books in this series.  First, financiers are inherently somewhat boring as villains.  Second, while I'm sure I'd be thrilled to uncover Napoleon's treasure, it pales a bit cri-fi-wise to Alexander the Great's Tomb, the library at Alexandria, and a lost city beneath Antarctica.

    So for me, this wasn't quite as gripping as the previous book, The Charlemagne Pursuit, reviewed here.  Then again, I gave that one 10*/10, and perfection is difficult to maintain.  The Paris Vendetta may not be the best book in this series, but it's still pretty darn good.  8 Stars.

Black Order by James Rollins

2006; 506 pages. #3 in the "Sigma Force" series. Author's real name : Jim Czajkowski. Genre : Action, Adventure. Overall Rating : "B".
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At a monastery in Nepal, the lamas go beserk - killing and eating each other, and drawing weird signs on the walls with their blood. In Copenhagen, Denmark, someone wants an old Bible enough to burn down a bookstore and kill the proprietor. In South Africa, a mythical man-eating beast (a ukufa) seems to be prowling a game preserve, and munching on little old ladies. The prologue is set in the closing days of WW2 Poland, where we find Nazi scientists trying to destroy their secret research project before the Russian forces overrun them.
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How do all these storylines connect, and who or what is the Black Order? That's what Sigma Force wants to know.
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What's To Like...
There's non-stop action and the characters are interesting. The Cri-Fi puzzles are believable and there are some "gray" bad guys (is that an oxymoron?). The Sigma Force folks are kind of a combination scientists and spec-ops agents. How cool is that? And because the storyline follows a team of protagonists (instead of just a single hero), there is bad-a$$ action happening in several places simultaneously.
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At times, the good guys and their exploits can stray just a bit too close to being a Dirk Pitt knock-off. And after 450 pages of constant chases, fighting, mystery, and escapes; the ultimate resolution kind of staggers to a finish.
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Kewl/New Words...
Provenance : a history of the ownership of something. Etiology : in a medical sense, the study of causes. Paroxysmal : accompanied by a sudden outburst of emotion or actions. In this case, it was shivering.
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Excerpt...
"A bit of the old bait and switch. Took me all day to find a Bible the right size and shape. Course I had to tinker with it a bit afterward. But then all it took was lots of tears and shouting, a bit of fumbling..." She shrugged. "And Bob's your uncle, it was done." (pg. 153). What can I say - I love the phrase "and Bob's your uncle".
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And take a little off the top...
This was my first James Rollins book. The heroes, especially their against-all-odds escapes were at times a bit too over-the-top for me. But that's a personal opinion only. The style reminded me of a cross between Steve Berry (who I like) and Clive Cussler (who I find to be so-so). If you like both those authors, you'll probably find Black Order to be great.
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Ditto for the climax, where they're trying to find a cure for what ails one of the heroes. I found it a letdown; you might not. Overall, this was a page-turning book that kept my interest until the very end. We'll give it a "B" and endeavor to see how other books by Rollins compare to this.

The Venetian Betrayal - Steve Berry

2007; 550 pages. Book #3 of Berry's "Cotton Malone" series. Genre : Action-Thriller; Cri-Fi. Overall Rating : A-.

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Someone's collecting a group of ancient medallions that were minted to commemorate Alexander The Great's semi-victorious campaign in India. They're doing this by stealing them out of museums, then torching the buildings to cover up the thefts. Cotton Malone becomes involved when he's included as part of the kindling at one of the heists.

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What's To Like...

It's a "busy" book, with a bunch of storylines. To wit : a search for Alexander The Great's grave; finding a cure for HIV; political intrigue in a newly-formed Alt-History nation in Central Asia made from the various "-stans" there (Kazakhstan, Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, etc.); a secret order of Venetian businessmen; the re-invention of Greek Fire; and last but not least - what's so cotton-pickin' important about those medallions?

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Berry deftly interweaves all these lines. The action is non-stop, there are a bunch of red-herrings, and a zillion plot-twists. The tale teeters on having too many twists - is the one character a septuple or an octuple agent? But it keeps you on your toes.

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All this action and plot comes at the cost of character development - everyone is either black or white. Indeed, one of the main characters, Irina Zovastina, starts out "3-D gray", but towards the end she's "2-D black". One of her (wounded) soldiers heroically saves her, and she rewards him by shooting him in the head. Actually, she ends up killing lots of her fellow black-hats, yet is curiously averse to offing any of the good guys/gals.

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Kewl New Words...

Most of the new words were technical ones - dealing with architecture, medical research, etc. Some of these were : Mullioned (divided by vertical bars of wood or stone, such as a 'mullioned window'); Campanile (a bell tower, usually as a separate structure); Cartonnage (a type of material used for Egyptian funeral masks, consisting of layers of linen or papyrus and covered with plaster).

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Excerpt...

And you, adventurer, for my immortal voice,

though far off, fills your ears, hear my words,

Sail unto the capital founded by Alexander's father,

where sages stand guard.

Touch the innermost being of the golden illusion.

Divide the phoenix.

Life provides the measure of the true grave.

But be wary, for there is but one chance of success.

Climb the god-built walls.

When you reach the attic, gaze into the tawny eye,

and dare to find the distant refuge.

(pg. 130. this is the riddle to be solved)

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It was a Berry good book...

I liked The Venetian Betrayal, even if there were a couple eye-rolling moments. The cri-fi aspect (finding a cure for HIV) was done well enough to where one reviewer felt compelled to tell us why Berry's solution doesn't work. Well duh. Too many twists is much to be preferred over too few. The characters could've been developed a bit more, but then we'd have a 900-page tome. We'll give it an "A-", and note that the next book in the series, The Charlemagne Pursuit, is sitting on my TBR shelf.

Cross Country - James Patterson

2008; 406 pages; 158 chapters. Genres : Action-Crime; Airport Novel. Overall Rating : C.

   .When two families in Washington D.C. are hacked to pieces with machetes, it's up to Detective Alex Cross to track down the killers. And he's determined to do so, since one of the victims is his ex-GF. The trail leads to Africa, where the tables are turned, and Cross finds hinself treading on the home turf on a lethal, well-connected foe.

.What's To Like...
    Not enough action in the last book you read? Then this one's for you. It's no exaggeration to say that every page has some sort of killing, beating, shooting, chase, or other assorted danger.

.It's also obvious that Patterson wanted to write about the plight of Africa, a continent that seems to be cursed by God. He manipulates the story to take Cross to places like Nigeria, Sierra Leone, and Darfur. He also manages to avoid blatant stereotyping. Our hero is a black cop, raising two kids, and living together with his GF. And Al-Qaeda terrorists don't get blamed for any of killings.

.OTOH, there are some serious lapses of believability. Two families get the benihana treatment, and the CIA says, "Back off; we'll handle this"? Sorry, but that would never happen. Then Cross decides to handle it on his own (cliché!) and flies to Nigeria, but without seeing any need to contact the authorities there for help? Uh-uh; not a chance.

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Finally, there's the Ultimate Evil himself. Most of the foes in the earlier Alex Cross stories are complex, crazy, and diaboloically clever. Our UE here has all the personality of Idi Amin.

.The Bane of Authors - Airport Novels.
The best way to read this book is as an airport novel. Pretend you're boarding a plane; shut down your brain; and go with the flow. You'll be done in no time - the PCQ ("Patterson Chapter Quotient") here is about 2½ (406 pages ÷ 158 chapters), and half of each Chapter Title page is blank space. If you try to read it as anything else (say, as a piece of literature), you'll rate this book very low.

.So I'm giving Cross Country a "C", because it was enjoyable escapism, and because Patterson deserves kudos for trying to give us a glimpse of the horrors going on in Africa. But if you've never read one of Patterson's Alex Cross books, this is not the one to start with. Instead, pick up Pop Goes The Weasel, Jack And Jill, or Along Came A Spider to see how good of a story he used to write.

The Bourne Betrayal - Eric Van Lustbader

2007, 717 pages. Genre : Action. Overall Rating : C.
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.  When Arab extremists kidnap his only friend in CI (Covert Intelligence), it's up to Jason Bourne to find and rescue him. But the kidnappers have already invaded Bourne's mind, and they are able to anticipate his every move.

What's To Like...

    The book is constant action, so at 717 pages, you're certainly getting your money's worth. There's a plethora of plot twists to keep you reading. As with any Bourne novel - there are well-described locations (Ethiopia, Odessa, Istanbul) to fall in love with. There are four major plotlines going on at the same time, yet you have no trouble keeping track of them.

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What's Not To Like...
    There's a lot of action, but not much progress. The core of the trilogy written by Robert Ludlum - the inner struggle between the assassin Jason Bourne and the "normal" David Webb - is missing here in book #5. Only Jason Bourne exists.

.The technical portions of the story will strain your limits of believability. EvL's attempt to write ebonics is just irritating. Then there are all those spy-novel clichés.
...

.Three clichés I've had my fill of... (and they're all here!)
1. Western Girl falls in love with Arab terrorist. This is always the kiss of death. If the evil BF doesn't kill her first-hand, he betrays her and the last thing she sees is his uncaring face. Just once I'd like to see a different ending. Maybe she betrays him. Maybe she perishes, fighting by his side. I don't care. Any new angle will do.

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2. The hero mistakenly thinks he killed an innocent bystander. Of course, he didn't. Evil people did and made it look like he did. For goodness sake, Bourne's an assassin. There is bound to be some collateral killing. If he wants to cry in his beer afterwards, so be it. But enough of the "only evil bullets kill innocent people" concept.

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3. The Ultimate Evil deliberately lures the hero to his central headquarters so he can finish him off. This sounds like something out of a bad Austin Powers movie. Folks, if I'm the UE, there's no way I'll ever let the hero get within 100 miles of my HQ, let alone show him the way. If we're going to duke it out, we'll do it out in the boonies somewhere, so that if/when the hero kills me, my evil plan will still go forward.

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Overall Rating : C
    In retrospect, this story should not have had the Bourne name associated with it. There's nothing inherently wrong with clichés and unbelievable technology. Clive Cussler enthusiasts have enjoyed them for decades. But the Ludlum-penned Bourne trilogy doesn't rely on Batmanesque gizmos, and is really about one man's reconciling his polar-opposite inner beings. The Bourne Betrayal has strayed a long way from Ludlum's premise. It is a decent read, as long as you are able to think "Dirk Pitt" instead of "Jason Bourne".

The Bourne Identity - Robert Ludlum

Overall Rating : A-.

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Thanks to the Matt Damon movie, The Bourne Identity is undoubtedly Robert Ludlum's best-known novel. A bullet-riddled-yet-still-alive guy gets plucked out of the briny and discovers he's got a bad case of amnesia. He spends the rest of the book/movie trying to regain his memory; dodging bullets from (and then killing) a slew of professional assassins; and attempting to figure who is so all-fired anxious to kill him.

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What's To Like...

The book is radically different from the movie, so there's a totally new plot and ending. In fact, the only similarities between the two are :

.1.) Our hero has amnesia.
2.) The heroine pulls a "Patty Hearst", gradually morphing from unwilling kidnappee to active GF and confederate of Jason Bourne.
3.) There is an outfit called Treadstone.

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The plot is complex; the action is non-stop; and the book is a page-turner. There is both a good climax and a "door" left open for a sequel or two.

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What's Not To Like...

I'm still nonplussed about the amazing foresight of Jason Bourne to have the number of his Swiss bank account implanted in his hip. Sheesh, how convenient.

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The Treadstone in the book (which is very different from the movie's version) seems to be suicidally lax in security when it comes to high-level meetings.

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Lots of other people b*tched about the movie being so different from the book, and this is probably valid if you read the book first. I didn't, so this isn't an issue for me.

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Sequel, Threequel, Fourquel, Fivequel...

Ludlum of course mapped this out to be a trilogy, so one should expect some huge loose ends at the conclusion of Bourne-1. In addition to the Bourne Supremacy and Bourne Ultimatum, a guy named Eric van Lustbader has penned another two books in the series (after Ludlum was so rude as to die), titled The Bourne Legacy and The Bourne Betrayal.

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So if you can't get enough of the saga, there's a couple thousands pages-worth of sequels out there. I'll take it one book at a time. Bourne-1 was a great read. We'll see if Bourne-2 can keep up the pace.