The Maker of Universes - Philip José Farmer

   1965; 247 pages.  New Author? : No. Book 1 (out of 7) in the “World of Tiers” series.  Genres : Classic Sci-Fi; multiverses, pulp fiction.   Overall Rating: 4*/10.

 

    Robert Wolff is in his 60s and has just realized he is losing his mind.  Well, this sometimes happens to people his age, but it’s especially unfair to Robert, since he also has zero memories of the first twenty years of his life.

 

    His latest realization is also ill-timed.  He and his wife Brenda are doing a walkthrough of an empty house they’re considering buying for their retirement years.  And Robert keeps hearing a bugle playing behind one of the closet doors.

 

    Apparently neither his wife nor the real estate agent accompanying them hear the blaring horn, which is why Robert is sure he’s losing his mind.  Maybe he should just get it over with: open the closet door, discover there’s nothing there, and accept his mental deterioration.

 

    Don’t do it, Robert!  If that bugling you hear is unsettling, you’re going to freak out when you see what and who is causing it!

 

What’s To Like...

    The Maker of Universes is the opening volume in Philip José Farmer’s World of Tiers 7-book sci-fi series.  We tag along with our hero, Robert Wolff, as he gets dropped into a strange, multi-tiered world, ruled by a Lord who seems to like kidnapping beings from other dimensions and time-periods to populate his domain.  Each of the five tiers resembles a specific time and place in terrestrial history, but it would be a spoiler to give full details.

 

    The book is written in what I’d call “classic 1950s science fiction” style.  That means non-stop action, paper-thin character development, and a hero who can perform feats of bravery while attracting every female he meets.  Here, our protagonist is initially in his sixties, but magically tones-up and ages-down in the new universe he’s plopped into.

 

    There are lots of creatures for Wolff to cross paths with.  Some are helpful; others want to kill and eat him.  Philip José Farmer gives a name to just about every beast, being, or geographical area and I’m sure he amused himself greatly when doing this.

 

    The Maker of Universes may be written in classic-50s style which targets YA male readers, but Philip José Farmer does some tweaking to that to spice things up.  Lots of humanoids run around unclothed and several rolls-in-the-hay are hinted at.  Natives enjoy eating something called a punchnut, which is an alcoholic fruit, and chewing the leaves of a plant called dhiz, which turns their teeth black, gives their eyes a smoldering look, and slows down their physical motions.  Hmmm.

 

    The ending is typical for classical sci-fi tales.  The old Lord is vanquished, the new Lord assumes the throne, and Wolff is a changed man, and of course, for the better.  However, a chance still exists of thwarting all that, in the form of a cliffhanger ending, which is one of my pet peeves.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.2*/5, based on 132 ratings and 24 reviews.

    Goodreads: 3.82*/5, based on 2,094 ratings and 132 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    “The histoikhthys is handy.  They seem almost too much of a good thing.”

    “The Lord designed and made them for our pleasure and his,” Ipsewas replied.

    “The Lord made this universe?” Wolff said, no longer sure that the story was a myth.

    “You better believe it,” Ipsewas replied, and took another drink.  “Because if you don’t, the Lord will end you.  As it is, I doubt he’ll let you continue anyway.  He doesn’t like uninvited guests.”  (pg. 65)

 

    “I am as much the enemy of the Lord as you, and he hates me, he would kill me!  He knows I stole the horn and that I’m a danger to him.  His eyes rove the four levels of the world and fly up and down the mountains to find me.  And . . .”

    “Where is this horn you said you stole from the Lord?  Why don’t you have it now?  I think you are lying to save your worthless carcass!”

    “I told you that I opened a gate to the next world and that I threw it to a man who appeared at the gate.  He stands before you now.”

    Podarge turned her head as an eagle swivels hers, and she glared at Wolff.  “I see no horn.  I see only some tough stringy meat behind a black beard!”  (pg. 81)

 

“You Lords are a mean, crafty, sneaky bunch.”  (. . .)  “But I like your style, anyway.”  (pg. 239)

    The cussing is sparse in The Maker of Universes, just 16 instances in the entire book, and limited to damns and hells.  A possible rape is mentioned, and one of the females suffers a miscarriage.  Those sorts of things are atypical in old-time science fiction.

 

    There were a few typos, such as: decible/decibel; slivery/silvery; muscial/musical; carnivous/carnivorous; tired/tried; and wll/will.  I’d make a bigger fuss about this, except the paperback version I read was published in 1965, long before spellchecker existed.

 

    My biggest issue was with the storytelling itself.  Even for the 1950s-60s timeframe, it was terrible.  The plotline teemed with dei ex machina.  Wolff and his companions repeatedly travel hundreds of miles through perilous lands within a single sentence.  A bunch of the humans in the alternate dimension speak Mycenaean, an ancient Greek dialect, and wouldn’t you know it, so does Wolff!  And somehow, his newly-acquired muscle tone is bigger and better than anybody else’s.

 

    Then there are the ethical slurs.  The “negroid” fighters encountered are portrayed as stereotypical savages.  At one point, Wolff is encouraged to make some passes at the ladies at a social gathering, because if he doesn’t, “they’ll think you’re queer.”  And last but not least, Wolff—our hero!—cavorts with several beautiful well-endowed damsels in the new world, since he’s lost interest in his 60-ish wife because she’s fat and wrinkly.  No matter that he was fat and wrinkly too, before his coming to this dimension magically rejuvenated him.

 

    All these issues will make for a terrible read for any adult.  But I have a funny feeling I would’ve loved this book when I was 12 years old.

 

    4 Stars.  One last thing.  At one point (page 147), a chemical reference is made about water, calling it “hydrogen oxide.” Folks, you can call it “dihydrogen oxide’, or “hydrogen hydroxide”, but not “hydrogen oxide”.  Trust me.  I’m a chemist.

The Night of Four Hundred Rabbits - Elizabeth Peters

    1971; 343 pages.  New Author? : No.  Genres: Amateur Sleuth; Travelogue; Mystery-Suspense; Drug Lecture; Mexico.  Overall Rating : 4*/10.

 

    All in all, Carol Farley has coped well.  As a child, she was always closer to her dad than her mom.  George always read books to her, and they loved sharing giggles together at some of the funny parts.  Those were good times.

 

    Then, ten years ago, her dad disappeared.  Without a trace.  Without an explanation.

 

    But it didn’t crush Carol.  She’s a college student now, and has a boyfriend, Danny, to whom she’ll surely get married once she gets her degree.  Today, she’s just returned to school after Christmas vacation, and there’s a letter waiting for her.  Containing a newspaper clipping.  With a photograph.  Of her father.

 

    In good health.  In a tuxedo.  At some swank party.  Enjoying himself.  In Mexico City.

 

    Carol's path is clear.  It’s time to extend her Christmas vacation a few more days and take a trip south of the border.  And have a confrontation.

 

What’s To Like...

    The Night of Four Hundred Rabbits is written in the first-person POV, Carol’s.  It chronicles her trip to Mexico City to get some answers from her father.  On one hand she’s relieved, since paternal foul play can now be ruled out.  On the other hand, she’s pissed since it’s now obvious he voluntarily chose to desert his family a decade ago.

 

    The father-daughter meeting occurs fairly early in the book.  Unsurprisingly it spawns more questions than answers, the first of which of course is: who sent that newspaper clipping to Carol, and why, and how did they know her address?  From there, things quickly get more complicated.

 

    Since she’s in Mexico City, with boyfriend Danny, Carol decides to take in the sights, in particular the old Aztec ruins of Tenochtitlan.  Even though the info-dumps of these archaeological visits were awkwardly written, Carol's trips there were my favorite parts of the story.  Also, since Carol’s Spanish vocabulary is quite limited, it was amusing to watch her struggle to communicate with the locals, yet it was fun to watch her learn a few words in Spanish, as well as gain an appreciation for the Mexican culture and Aztec history.

 

    The ending is adequate but contrived.  The plans of the bad guys are thwarted, but that’s because they arrogantly reveal too much, thus making it easy for the good guys.  I call this the “Austin Powers syndrome”.

 

    The Night of Four Hundred Rabbits is a standalone novel, and quite a divergence from Elizabeth Peters’ more-famous Amelia Peabody series.  I was intrigued by the 400 Rabbits referenced in the book’s title, and which is given two explanations in the text.  To reveal those meanings would be a spoiler.

 

Excerpts...

    “They really dig blondes in the Latin countries.  You don’t think I’d let you go wandering off alone, do you?”

    “My hero,” I murmured, touching my cheek.

    “Your gigolo.  I don’t have a dime.”

    “Oh, stop that.”

    “What’s mine is yours, what’s yours is mine?”

    “Of course, I thought we agreed that money was the lousy root of all evil.”

    “Right.  The thing to do is spend it fast before it can corrupt you.”  (pg. 35)

 

    “I freaked out,” he said.

    “You sure did.”

    “What did I say?  Did you write it down?”

    “No.  You said that the universe was a vast cesspool of love.”

    “What?”

    “That was your best effort.  You said it seventy-nine times.  I counted.  While I was cleaning up the rug where you threw up.”  (pg. 201)

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.1*/5, based on 166 ratings and 25 reviews.

    Goodreads: 3.49*/5, based on 2,025 ratings and 91 reviews.

 

“Hotel,” I said, wishing to God I had taken Spanish instead of World Philosophy in my junior year.  (pg. 191)

    There’s only a smattering of profanity in The Night of Four Hundred Rabbits.  I counted just seven instances in the first third of the book, and they were all of the “milder” 4-letter variety.  Nor is there any sex, which is surprising since college-age Carol is traveling with her beau, yet takes time to mention that she is still a virgin.

 

    Drugs are another matter.  I came away feeling the author’s main purpose for writing this story was to rant about the mortal dangers of drug usage.  Yes, she takes a few jabs at pot, pep pills, and heroin; but mostly she rails against psychedelics of all kinds: mescaline, peyote, LSD, and psilocybin.

 

    As mentioned already, there are some blatantly amateurish info dumps, including a vague reference to Art Linkletter’s daughter’s fatal attempt to fly.  At one point, she also has Carol take an unintended acid trip.  Reading that, all I can say is it's evident that Elizabeth Peters’ research did NOT involve experiencing any hallucinations firsthand.

 

    I’d take a harsher stance on this, except it needs to be noted that The Night of Four Hundred Rabbits was written in 1971, when gazillions of young people were tripping out and Art Linkletter’s daughter had just jumped out of the sixth-floor of a building.

 

    The bottom line is: I found The Night of Four Hundred Rabbits to be a poor read; full of poor writing, poor storytelling, ill-fitting info dumps, and misleading opinions about hallucinogenic drugs.  I’d recommend this book only to those who think Reefer Madness (say what?!) is a great documentary film.

 

    4 Stars.  One last criticism.  On pages 221-225, the author lays down yet another rant, this time about the pointlessness of the game of chess.  Really.  That cuts me deeply since I’ve played and enjoyed chess all my life.  It is quite evident that Elizabeth Peters has never had the slightest urge to learn to play it.

Mad About Undead You - Carl S. Plumer

   2012; 285 pages.  Full Title: Mad About Undead You: A Zombie Apocalypse Love Story.  New Author? : Yes.  Genres : Humorous Dark Comedy, Zombie Apocalypse, Paranormal Romance.  Overall Rating : 4*/10.

 

    There’s something strange about the people out and about on the streets of San Francisco.  Donovan Codell is sure of it.  They stink to high heaven.  They have mega-zits.  They growl at people and gnash their teeth a lot.  If they see you, they shuffle towards you.  Not very fast, but very persistently.

 

    Maybe the waiter at the coffeehouse was right.  He said you can’t drink the city’s water right now, although he didn’t say why.  But his coffeehouse will only serve you juice or natural soda.

 

    Oh well, Donovan’s not going to let the locals spoil his day.  He woke up feeling great, in no small part because he had a beautiful girl sleeping beside him.  Nothing short of a zombie apocalypse is going to ruin his mood.

 

    Funny thing about that, Donovan.

 

What’s To Like...

    The setting for Mad About Undead You is the greater San Francisco area, including everything from the Haight-Ashbury neighborhood to several of the islands in the San Francisco Bay.  Donovan and his love interest, Cathren, run all over the place, trying to avoid getting torn to pieces by hungry brain-eaters, deranged scientists, and paranoid geezers.  The subtitle is accurate, this is a Zombie Apocalypse Love Story, but the emphasis leans heavily on the Undead, not the Romance.

 

    The action is nonstop, and loaded with plenty of dei ex machina and Hulk-like abilities to keep our two protagonists from being sliced and diced and chomped and stomped.  For the most part, anyway.  There aren’t a lot of characters to keep track of, and along the way you’ll learn a little bit of French, a little bit of Spanish, and a smidgen of Anglo-Saxon English.

 

    Being a chemist, I always like it when science works its way into a story.  So the rotten-eggs “sulfur odor” was neat, although for me, it triggers a “money to be made” reflex.  The “fertilizer bomb” is indeed powerfully real – it’s what was used in the Oklahoma City bombing.  IIRC, cryogenic “frozen heads” are also a real thing; I vaguely recall reading about a scandal involving cryogenic employees allegedly kicking one of those like a soccer ball, maybe even the one belonging to MLB Hall-of-Famer Ted Williams.

 

    The music references to the Dead Kennedys, Prince’s “Purple Rain”, and Bob Marley’s “No Woman No Cry” were neat; Carl S. Plumer obviously has fine musical tastes.  You’ll learn the value of knowing how to drive a stick shift and what the verb “jonesing” means.  And if you think zombie humans are scary, just wait till you come face-to-face with zombie sharks.

 

    Mad About Undead You is a standalone novel, with short chapters: 77 of them covering the 285 pages of the e-book version.  I didn’t find a sequel, but in looking at Carl S. Plumer’s author’s page on Amazon it appears the book was re-issued with a new title, Zombie Ever After – A Satire, in 2015.  The first four chapters, shown in the “Look Inside” section on the Amazon page looked identical to Mad About Undead You.

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Klatch (n.) : a social gathering, especially for coffee and conversation.  (a Yankeeism)

 

Things that Sound Dirty But Aren’t…

    “Let me get your tongue and put it on ice.”  (loc. 855)

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  3.5/5 based on 29 ratings and 29 reviews.

    Goodreads: 3.42/5 based on 91 ratings and 19 reviews

 

Excerpts...

    A large group of people formed a circle in the middle of the road, their backs to Donovan and Cathren.  The couple stopped, transfixed, and studied the people in the crowd.  Oozing wounds dotted the beings’ flesh.  Open sores pocked their necks, arms, backs.  Rotting skin dripped to the ground.  A couple of them had bits of bright white bone showing through, like headlights in a tunnel.

    “What’s going on?” said Cathren.  “Who are they?  They look so sick.  Are they lepers?  Are they hurt?  Should we help them?”

    “Water drinkers,” Donovan said darkly.  “Unfiltered tap water drinkers.”  (loc. 236)

 

    The brain-eaters were more than halfway down the stairs now.  Donovan aimed and squeezed the trigger.

    Nothing.  The safety was on.  Who would leave the safety on in the middle of a zombie apocalypse?

    He released the safety and tried again.

    Click.

    The zombies were almost upon him.

    Who would leave an unloaded shotgun in the middle of a zombie apocalypse?  (loc. 2745)

 

Kindle Details…

    Mad About Undead You is presently unavailable as an e-book in Amazon, but Carl S. Plumer has three other e-books at Amazon, all in the paranormal genre, and ranging in price from free to $3.99.

 

“Money is no object. (…) In other words, I have no money.”  (loc. 4811)

    Sadly, there is a lot to quibble about regarding Mad About Undead You, which accounts for the low ratings at both Amazon and Goodreads.  The book screams for a better backstory (what the heck is the military doing while zombies are running amok?) and the storytelling has way too many dei ex machina to be believable.  Other weaknesses include:

 

    Cussing.  There’s a lot of it.  I counted 20 instances in the first 10% of the e-book.  There’s nothing wrong with some well-placed cusswords, but excessive use of them is usually a cheap substitute for better writing.

 

    Similes.  They get used ad nauseam here.  In the six pages comprising Chapter 17, for example, the phrase “as if” gets used seven times.  Similes using “like” (“the heat of the doorknob stung her fingers like a serpent bite”) are also overused.

 

    Science Errors.  “HO₂” is not hydrogen peroxide.  “H₂O₂” is.  And there aren’t “over 2,000 trace elements”.  There may be thousands of compounds or molecules, but elements are limited to the 100+ that are listed in the Periodic Table.  Yes, this is nitpicky.  But I’m a chemist.

 

    The Ending.  It’s unsatisfying.  The story ends abruptly with our heroes conveniently finding a haven that’s too good to be believable, and is temporary at best.  Neither the zombie apocalypse nor the health of our protagonists are resolved.  But to be fair, at least it wasn’t a cliffhanger.

 

    Despite all this, I still enjoyed this book.  Donovan and Cathren are interesting characters, and any scenario with hordes of zombies running all over San Francisco is going to be entertaining.  But Mad About Undead You is in bad need of a major rewrite.  And don’t tell me that I’m missing the point, that it’s supposed to be a satire that’s not to be taken seriously.  Satires still need to be coherent and well-written.

 

    4 Stars.  One last thing.  The book cover shown in my Kindle shows a girl’s face with a raven (or crow) in the background.  A google search failed to come up with a single hit for this image.  Instead, the book cover shown above come up, and IMHO, it gives a much better idea about the tone of Mad About Undead You.  But it amazes me that the original Kindle cover image has completely disappeared from the Internet.

Grumpy Old Wizards - John O'Riley

   2013; 350 pages.  Book 1 (out of 7) in the “Grumpy Old Wizards” series.  New Author? : Yes.  Genres : Paranormal and Urban Fantasy.  Overall Rating : 4*/10.

 

    It isn’t easy being a Category Six Wizard.  The world loves and hates your powers, both at the same time.

 

    On one hand, your magical affinity for recent thoughts and residual strands of spells makes you a valuable tool for detectives at a crime scene.  On the other hand, ordinary people fear your otherworldly abilities, so they force you to wear a ring which acts kind of like a house-arrest anklet: if you start to radiate too much magical energy, it knocks you out.

 

    That’s the situation 84-year-old Josephine O’Connor finds herself in.  She’s on call as a consultant to the local Siesta Key (Florida) police department.  They use her services a lot, but except for her 28-year-old grandson and detective Jake, nobody else on the force is comfortable having her around.

 

    Maybe it’s her looks.  One advantage of being a Category Six Wizard is that you age very slowly.  Josephine looks like a 30-year-old.  Or maybe they’re scared of her ability to perform telekinesis.  I’d would be too if I knew someone could pick me up and move me around without physically touching me.

 

    Well, everybody better kiss and make up, because there’s a serial killer loose in Siesta Key, and his magic appears to be every bit as powerful as Josephine’s, if not stronger.  If she can’t overcome his spells and bring him in, who can?

 

What’s To Like...

    I liked the backstory premise in Grumpy Old Wizards – that some years back something called “the Disaster” happened, releasing a bunch of psychometric energy which imbued some, but not all, humans with varying degrees of wizardly powers.  Those powers are rated in categories  ranging from one to six, with six being the highest.  Any wizard can get a temporary bump in their power level, a “fix” if you will, by tapping into something called a power vortex, but this is against the law, as it scares the "normal", magic-less humans.

 

    There are only three power vortexes in the United States.  Two of them are in Sarasota, Florida and Seattle, Washington, convenient placements for the book's storyline.  But the third location – Sedona, Arizona -  made me chuckle, since I live in Arizona.  Sedona really is claimed by New Agers to be a mystic power mecca, with lots of psychic festivals held there throughout the year.

 

    There is no gender bias in John O’Riley’s wizard system – they can be male or female and have equal power potential.  The magic in the story is introduced immediately: Josephine is summoned to a murder-by-spellcasting crime scene to lend a psychic hand in the investigation.  Things quickly get deadly between the killer and Josephine, and she's also hampered by a growing addiction to the power vortex along with the threat of incarceration if the police become aware of her “feedings”.

 

    The ending is so-so.  The evil wizard is revealed, and the expected spellcasting duel ensues.  There aren’t really any twists to the final battle, and I felt the outcome was kind of arbitrary.  I found the book’s title to be quite clever and “catchy”, but if it had any tie-in to the story, I missed it.

 

    There are 21 chapters covering 350 pages, including an neat epilogue which isn't listed in the Table of Contents.  The story ends at 91% Kindle, with a bunch of extras in the last 9% including an "Author’s Note" and a sneak peek at the next book in the series, Corruption.  The book comes pretty close to being a "cozy"; I counted only 5 cusswords in the first quarter of the e-book; plus one instance of brief nudity later on that would hardly qualify as R-rated.

 

Kindle Details…

    Right now, Grumpy Old Wizards sells for $2.99 at Amazon.  The other six books in the series go for $3.99 apiece.  John O’Riley offers another half dozen or so books for your Kindle, all priced in the $3.94-$3.99 range.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 3.5*/5, based on 504 ratings.

    Goodreads: 3.30*/5, based on 1,397 ratings and 198 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    “I enjoyed your visit to the crime scene this morning.  Did you do anything else interesting today?”

    “I ran into Spot while grocery shopping,” Josephine told him.

    “What happened?”  Jake’s brown eyes twinkled with anticipation and amusement.

    “I made his pants fall down.”  (loc. 158)

 

    “Robert and I have an understanding.  We’ve decided not to antagonize each other anymore,” Josephine said.

    “Really?” Alice said.  “I’m surprised to hear that.  You sounded like you weren’t going to take him up on his offer of a truce the last time you talked about him.”

    “My life is too complicated without making new enemies.  I have a serial killer to catch and an enforcer breathing down my neck,” Josephine said.  “I’d like to kick Morgan’s ass and shove him down a flight of stairs.”

    “You’re awful violent today,” Alice teased.  “I think you need to drink less coffee.”  (loc. 2344)

 

 

“I don’t think I like my subconscious very much.”  (loc. 1757)

    Unfortunately, as many other reviewers at Amazon and Goodreads have noted (leading to the low ratings listed above), Grumpy Old Wizards has some significant weaknesses.

 

    In brief, the writing is weak, especially the dialogue portions.  The showing/telling issues are quite distracting.  The storytelling meanders.  The plotline starts out with a serial killer murders investigation, but rapidly get bogged down in the inventing and casting of all sorts of spells.  Worst of all, the characters, whether they be good, bad, or secondary, are simply boring.  If you compare, say, this book’s characters of Josephine, Helen, Alice, and Detective Morgan with Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum, Lula, Grandma Mazur, and Detective Joe Morelli, the contrast is striking.

 

    I have to wonder how much time was spent on polishing the manuscript, and whether any beta readers, editors, and/or proofreaders were used in the writing of Grumpy Old Wizards.  If so, their collective job performance leaves a lot to be desired.  Don’t take my word for all these gripes; go read the Amazon and Goodreads reviews for yourself.

 

    4 Stars.  Grumpy Old Wizards has the potential to be a fascinating Urban Fantasy novel, but is in need of some serious polishing and revising, perhaps with even a ghostwriter/editor brought in.  It’s possible the writing improves as the series progresses, but I doubt many readers will take the gamble.

The Beginning of This, The End of That - Part 1: The End - James Matteson

   2012; 366 pages.  New Author? : Yes.  Genre : Mythopoeia, Dimension-Hopping, Fantasy Alt History.  Overall Rating : 4*/10.

    Well, it’s been a bit of a jolt for Alysa and Ewan; they’ve fallen through a hole from the 21^st century to some sort of 7^th-century Alternate Universe, where gods and legends both big and small, seem to be running the show.

    The good news is, they’re mostly Greek and Norse deities, and if you know your mythology, you’ll realize that humans were on pretty good footing with those kinds of immortals.  Still, one has to wonder why Fate has brought Alysa and Ewan here, and whether they’ll ever get back home again.

    And then there’s the aliens from outer space.

What’s To Like...

    The Beginning of This, The End of That is an ambitious debut effort by James Matteson.  Per his Amazon blurb, his primary focus is on the role of “story” (read: myths and legends) in society, and you will find all kinds of tales mashed together here.  There were the Norse and Greek myths and gods, of course; but you can also see traces of Alice Through The Looking Glass, The Last of the Mohicans, and perhaps a trace of the Old Testament.  One of the Gnostic greats, Marcion, shows up; and even Mithra gets some ink.  Those are plusses for me.

     The writing style is straightforward, and if you like chants and poems in your stories, you’ll be tickled pink here.  The underlying storyline concept is original, and I liked that Alysa and Ewan had very different outlooks on life and very different natures.  The world-building is ambitious, with the reader being treated to locales such as Frigga’s grove, the White City, and Tartarus (the Underworld).  I wouldn’t say the Matteson's universe drew me into it, but it was adequate for the tale.

    Alas, it’s all downhill from here; both the writing mechanics and the storytelling are weak, and I can see why other readers failed to make it through the book.

    Mechanics.  There were a lot of typos, and that became a distraction.  The author claims to have written over 100 technical documents, yet doesn’t know the difference between “lightning” and “lightening”?  C’mon now.  I’ll look past affect/effect errors, and even hanger/hangar, but when the name of one of the characters goes from Beor to Boer, and it isn’t caught, that’s just poor editing.

    Then there’s the “big word syndrome”: piceous, atramentous, apetalous, hathoritic, pantokratic, and a slew of others.  They felt clunky and ill-fitting, as did the apparent need to give the Latin technical name for every piece of flora and fauna.  Happily, the BWS tapered off once the story got rolling.

    Storytelling.  It frequently loses its focus, and that makes for a number of slow spots.  A kidnapping by pirates becomes a treatise on business ethics.  Five professors give us a discourse on truth.  And if I want to hear a Sunday sermon, I’ll go to church.

Kewlest New Word…

Oppugn (v.) : to call into question the truth or validity of something.

Others : too many to list.

Excerpts...

    “If you are not tinkeards,” asked their host, “why then have you come to the White City?”

    “We are here looking for a poet,” Ewan offered.  Gunhild looked at him, disgusted.

    “Well, that should be easy,” said Goggigwr, “there are very few poets left in the city.”

    “Why is that?” Alysa questioned.

    “They have no employers,” he responded.  “If they don’t become musicians, college professors, or take religious orders, they can find no paying work.”  (loc. 3196)

   “So, since we parted at the Temple of the Golden Toad, what has happened to you?”

    “Nothing too exotic,” Ewan said, looking down the path after Frigga.  “We were lost at sea, rescued by pirates, washed ashore on the island of Aig, traveled to Spyral Castle, escaped from Hades over the Bifrost bridge.”  (loc. 6421)

Kindle Details...

    The Beginning of This, The End of That, Part 1: The End presently sells for $9.99 at Amazon, which seems quite steep to me.  The implied sequel has apparently not been written yet, and Amazon carries no other books by James Matteson.

 “What is the point of magic if it is not the force the gods themselves to do your will?”  (loc. 5082)

    I tried to reconcile the author’s stated purpose for this book – examining the role of story in society – with the storyline, and  I finally decided that the choice of genre doomed it from the start.  At first glance, fantasy would seem to be an excellent format for showcasing myths.  But the problem is the readers of fantasy want an entertaining tale, not a literary exegesis.  And the latter is what you get, particularly if you take the time to read the “commentator notes”.

    This is all a shame, because the basic premise of The Beginning of This, The End of That is nothing short of fantastic.  But the execution of that premise disappoints.  I don’t know what the author’s approach was in writing this book, but I get the feeling that some beta readers and a decent editor would’ve significantly improved things.

    One last thing.  Although the story ends at a logical place, it is obvious, even from the title (“Part 1”), that a sequel was planned.  It’s been almost four years since TBoT,TEoT-Part1:TE was published; it seems safe to assume a sequel will not be forthcoming.  Which means there really isn’t much point in reading Book One.

    4 Stars.  Add 1 Star if a sequel should ever be published; add another 1 Star if this book undergoes some major rewriting.  The storyline is so fascinatingly engaging that if it ever got more emphasis than the technical considerations, this could be the start of a fine series.

The Fall of House Nemeni - M.D. Kenning

 

   2012; 222 pages.  Full Title : The Fall of House Nemeni (Allmother’s Fire).  New Author? : Yes.  Genre : Science Fiction (sez I); ClockPunk (sez the author).  Overall Rating : 4*/10.

    Fallen, fallen, fallen is the great house Nemeni.  Domin, the head of this powerful family, and his wife, Vinessi, are gone.  Domin’s brother, Genissi, has fled for his life, taking Domin’s three children to safety with him.

    But that was ten years ago.  The children are now grown.  Their assumed identities have held.  And revenge still smolders in their hearts.

What’s To Like...
    The world-building is innovative – a bunch of islands floating in the air (see book cover) between two suns – One Above, One Below.   The islands are inhabited; and you can travel by airships from one to another without any breathing difficulties.  This solar system setup boggles my scientific mind, but let’s not get too hung up on the astrophysics of it.  After all, this is fantasy.

    All of the characters are well-developed.  The book starts out with lots of action – Domin fleeing for his life.  There is an interesting interplay of Magic (“Clockwork Grand Laws”) versus Religion ("Cogs of the Universe”).  Spells versus prayers.  M.D. Kenning presents them on equal terms, which I like.  The ending doesn’t tie up all the threads, but it does logically set up the next book in the series.

    Alas, there are some serious issues with TFoHN, starting with the typos.  Theirs/There’s; Lead/Led (the two tenses are not spelled the same); Than/Then; plus dozens more.  I normally don’t comment on typos because self-published authors can rarely afford professional proofreaders.  But their frequency here really detracts from the story.

    Then there are the run-on sentences.  These are by nature clunky, but the author seems averse to using commas.  This makes the run-ons almost unfathomable unless you read them multiple times.  One example : Even the food that was now sitting warmly in Genissi’s belly as he reclined on a velvet laden couch and watched the kids talk excitedly together had been delivered to their door that lead inside the tavern (not the one that lead to the door in the alley) by one of the inn’s maids and she did not see who received the meal later.  Wow.  There are lots more like that.

    Finally, there is too much Telling, and not enough Showing.  There are pages upon pages devoted to what’s running through the various characters’ minds.  It would have been much stronger to convey these thoughts via actions in the storyline.

Excerpts...
    Three words.
    Caution.
    Focus.
    Discipline.
    These were the bywords of the Nemeni family, and three words could not sum up Genissi any less in most people’s eyes.
    Gadfly.
    Layabout.
    Drunk.
    Those were much more accurate descriptors of the laughing stock of the Nemeni family.  (loc. 463)

    Sivana of course had no way to know for sure exactly how much time had passed.  The rotten smell of her own sick being on her clothes however invited the possibility she was not in a spiritual afterlife.  Not once in the teachings or songs did she remember anything about vomit existing in the Sun Below or in the arms of the Allmother.  (loc. 3722)

Kindle Details...
    The Fall Of House Nemeni sells for $2.99 at Amazon.  This is reportedly Book 1 of a trilogy.  M.D. Kenning has one other book available for the Kindle – Mandatory Paradise – also for $2.99.  I think the latter is unrelated to the Nemeni storyline.

“Are you touched by the Sun Below?” (loc. 1784)
    For me, The Fall of House Nemeni comes off as a novel-worthy concept, but still in rough-draft form.  That’s unfortunate because, although the basic plotline grabbed my interest, the project is incomplete.

    The writing needs to be polished up (add commas, break up the long sentences).  A good editor/proofreader needs to be utilized (a writer doing this himself just doesn’t work).  Finally, the first-draft needs some beta-readers.  Mom and Aunt Martha won’t cut it – it needs people who will tell you what is confusing, clunky, and/or just plain boring.  And every five minutes, the phrase “Show!  Don’t Tell!” should be mentally chanted.

    Admittedly, polishing, proofing, and rewriting are not as fun as creating the first draft, but they’re just as vital.  This will be a great book - and a great series - once those steps are taken.  4 Stars.  For now.

New Atlantis - Francis Bacon

1627; 52 pages (but I Kindled it).  New Author? : Yes.  Genre : Philosophy.  Overall Rating : 4*/10.

    Setting sail from Peru in the 1620's, a ship of explorers runs smack dab into a fierce Pacific storm.  Just when all hope appears lost, the crew finds an island haven.  And it's not even deserted; it has towns, fresh water, lush farmlands, and white, English-speaking  inhabitants - all living in harmony with each other.

    So how did they get here?  And how is it they know so much about Europe, when no one in Europe has seen or heard of them?  Most of all, why does everything seem so perfect here?

What's To like...
    Forget the plotline; New Atlantis is really Bacon's musings on how to achieve a Utopian society.  He drapes a bare-bones story around it so that he doesn't sound preachy, which is quite clever.

    Francis Bacon was, among other things, a scientist (the father of the "scientific method" or empiricism), a statesman (Lord Chencellor), and an ardent (Anglican) churchgoer.  The world of New Atlantis reflects this.  Those who govern do so only to promote the welfare of the people.  Science and Engineering invent things that make life better, with no adverse side-consequences.  And Jews and Christians co-exist here, each offering fervent prayers to their respective gods.  Children honor their parents, the land yields an abundance of food, and the natives freely share with our band of bedraggled sailors.  What more can you ask for?

    New Atlantis also allows Bacon to share some views on things like the origins of the "uncivilized" New World natives, homosexuality, and polygamy.  He also makes some startling technological predictions.  Things like glasses, airplanes, submarines, hearing aids, amplifiers, telescopes, miscroscopes, and genetic engineering.

Kewlest New Word...
Boscage : a growth of trees or shrubs; a thicket.

Excerpts...
    "But thus you see we maintain a trade not for gold, silver, or jewels; nor for silks; nor for spices; nor any other commodity of matter; but only for God's first creature, which was Light: to have light (I say) of the growth of all parts of the world."  (pg. 23; 49% on Kindle)

    "I have read in a book of one of your men, of a Feigned Commonwealth, where the married couple are permitted, before they contract, to see one another naked.  This they dislike; for they think it a scorn to give a refusal after so familiar knowledge: but because of many hidden defects in men and women's bodies, they have a more civil way; for they have near every town a couple of pools, (which they call Adam and Eve's pools) where it is permitted to one of the friends of the men, and another of the friends of the woman, to see them severally bathe naked."  (pg. 32; 68% on Kindle)

Happy are the people of Bensalem. (pg. 27)
    Bacon's use of a seafaring storyline is both clever and a drawback.  His vision of Utopia is fine and dandy, and well thought out.  But readers want to see it put to the test.  What will happen if the crops fail; if a despot comes to power; or if the European empires become aware of New Atlantis's location?  A lush island in the middle of the South Pacific would be a vital place to take on fresh provisions.  Worth conquering, and worth fighting to keep.  Utopias are fragile.

    New Atlantis is short, which is the main reason I read it.  It's the first book I downloaded to my Kindle, and I wanted to get comfortable with the bells-&-whistles of the device.  If the Kindle wasn't for me, at least I'd find that out in 50 pages, not 500.

    It was interesting to read about 17th-century philosophies and ideals; and Bacon's technology predictions are eeerily insightful.  But Bacon is not a novelist, and New Atlantis screams for some tension, some bad guys, or some paradise-threatening drama.  You shooda hired an editor, Sir Francis.  4 Stars, but I do like my Kindle.