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2018; 346 pages. Book 1 (out of 4) in the “Adventures of Duke LaGrange” series. New Author? : Yes. Genres : Humorous Science Fiction; Space Opera.
Overall Rating : 7*/10.
Get ready for a new Dynamic Duo!
The main hero is Duke
LaGrange, a wisecracking bounty hunter from a colony planet called Nova
Texas. He’s not particularly physically
imposing, but he makes up for that by packing two deadly space firearms: a
Widowmaker sonic shotgun and a laser revolver.
His sidekick is a
silent-but-deadly Ninja warrior named Ishiro’shea. He’s from some backwater planet called Earth and claims to be of Irish-Japanese extraction, whatever that means.
Right now they’re doing what
most superheroes love to do: hanging out at the Why Not Saloon on the planet
Kelt, and famed for its wine, women (of all
sorts of intergalactic species), and interdimensional portals. And while Duke flirts with the females in the
crowd, Ishiro is engaged in his favorite pastime: lying on the saloon’s floor,
passed out drunk.
Life cannot get any better
than this.
What’s To Like...
How to Pick Up
Women with a Drunk Space Ninja is the first volume in a (presumably)
completed 4-book humorous sci-fi series. The two protagonists remind me of the Star Wars duo of Han Solo and
Chewbacca. Ichiro has taken a vow of
silence (it’s a ninja thing) so the banter between Duke and him is one-sided,
yet just like Solo and Chewie chitchats, it somehow works.
The opening scene takes place in a
galactic bar-&-grill, which is very similar to the one in the first Star Wars movie, save that the band playing is
a robotic metal group and the female flirt is an anthropomorphic musk ox. That gives you a good idea of the comedic
tone of the tale. But the primary plot
thread concerns our heroes reluctantly finding themselves forced into joining
an epic space quest; which again is very Solo/Chewie-ish.
I liked the
character-building. The good guys are
well-intended but rather inept; and the head bad guy may be
arrogant, yet he’s also somewhat charismatic.
The warfare scenario takes its cue straight out of Star Wars: the
“legitimate” (evil) empire has overwhelming military resources, but the “rebel”
(good) resistance has no reason to believe they can prevail, but they'll die trying
anyway.
The plotline is humorous,
twisty, and has enough action to keep the reader reading “just one more
chapter”. The loyalty of most of the
good guys—including Duke—is questionable at times, and both sides occasionally wonder if
they’re being manipulated by some higher Power.
The ending is decent; when all
appears lost, help comes crashing in from unexpected places, and in the end the bad
guys get their just desserts. The
aftermath is given in the second-to-last chapter, ties up the loose plot threads in a heartwarming manner. Things close where
things began, back at the bar-&-grill, with Duke and Ishiro contemplating their next
adventure.
Ratings…
Amazon: 4.1*/5, based on 285 ratings
and 52 reviews.
Goodreads: 3.85*/5,
based on 347
ratings and 44 reviews.
Excerpts...
“I am truly sorry. Is there anything else that I can help you
with?”
“You hairy Glyptodian bastard! Tell the Queen that I’m looking right down
its bright red gullet as we speak; not too far from the Keltian
atmosphere. I think she might want to
know.”
“You do make a valid point, Mr.
LaGrange. I will seek her out with
unrivaled haste. Do you mind if I place
you on hold briefly?”
“Yes, I mind, Earl!”
“Thank you.”
“No, I said, I do mind—”
The hold music interrupted and chimed away.
(loc. 716)
“Nice to meet you, Lo’n. I’ve heard so much about you.”
Duke awkwardly knelt down in an exaggerated
curtsy. Mo’a laughed.
“Is that right, off-worlder?”
“But of course. The great and all powerful Lo’n. Your exploits are known throughout the
universe. Entire races are sacrificed in
your honor every cycle. The mere mention
of your name can impregnate certain species.
Both male and female. You are a
god, my friend, a true god.”
Lo’n’s eyes locked on to Duke’s. Silence fell upon the group. Not even Mo’a chuckled.
“Off-worlder, I like you!” (loc. 2483)
Kindle Details…
Right now, How to Pick Up Women with a Drunk Space Ninja sells for $3.99
at Amazon. The other three books will each cost you $4.99. You can also pick up a short-story Space
Opera e-book by Jay Key, The Art of Negotiating
with Space Monsters, for just $0.99.
“Not to be a
nitpicker, but friends don’t attack each other with fire-covered spears.” (loc. 1289)
There’s a moderate amount of
cussing in How to Pick Up Women with a Drunk Space
Ninja, most of it of the “milder” variety. I counted 13 instances in the first 10%. The only adult situation I recall was one roll-in-the-hay
late in the story.
The favorite colloquial
expression in this part of the galaxy is “Holy
Hedgehogs!”, which made me chuckle each time it was used. Robin, Batman’s sidekick, would love that
phrase.
My main issue in HtPUWwaDSN was with the action scenes. A lot of the fight scenes involve Duke and
Ishiro taking on overwhelming numbers of baddies charging at them. But in most cases, Duke simply pulls out his equalizers, a pair of overwhelmingly deadly firearms, and confidently saves the day. And in the few cases where that’s not
sufficient, dei ex machina crash the
party in a most timely manner.
But hey, the same can be said
of Batman and Robin, in the old TV version
starring Adam West, and I used to love that show as a kid. It worked for that Dynamic Duo, and it works for Duke and Ichiro as well.
So give your thinking brain
the night off, read this book strictly for its entertainment value, and don’t
ask yourself any “what are the odds???” questions when our two heroes escape
yet another hopeless situation. You’ll
be glad you did.
7 Stars. One last thing. Early on, the catchphrase “damn skippy” is used. I love that expression, but always thought it was invented by Lula, in Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum series, but Google assures me it is a common phrase. I need to start using it more.
