A Dragon, A Gargoyle, and A Faery Walk into a Pub - Lisa Barry & Nicole Dragonbeck

    2024; 299 pages.  Book 1 (out of 4) in the “Dragon and Gargoyle” series.  New Author(s)? : Yes and Yes.  Genres : Adventure Fantasy; Dragons & Mythical Creatures Fantasy; Witches.  Overall Rating: 6*/10.

 

    Meet Detective Aiden Moss.  Director Warren is mighty proud to have him on the Dublin, Ireland police force.  Moss always obeys department rules and regulations.  He loves to write up reports.  He happens to also be a dragon.

 

    Meet Aiden’s partner, Detective Torloch “Loch” Doyle.  He has a short temper and a sharp tongue.  Director Warren frequently has to write him up for breaking department rules and regulations.  He hates to write up reports.  He happens to also be a gargoyle.

 

    You might wonder how well these two dissimilar agents get along with each other.  They have their moments of mutual irritation, but they’ve made things work.  For several centuries.  It helps that they have a mutual source of annoyance.

 

    Meet Rudy.  He's a youthful faerie blessed with the magical gift of being able to materialize out of thin air.  Much to the mutual annoyance of Moss and Doyle.

 

What’s To Like...

    If you like your fantasy novels to have a bountiful selection of magical creatures, you’re going to love A Dragon, A Gargoyle, and A Faery Walk into a Pub.  Besides the three mentioned in the title, you’ll crosspaths with leprechauns, harpies, vampires, minotaurs, witches, sirens, something called a púca, and a bunch more.  There’s even a crossword puzzle-loving ogre.

 

    The storyline starts out straightforward.  There’s a new drug in town which has mind-numbing side effects.  Literally.  Victims of the drug smell of magic (well, actually of coriander) and our heroes are charged with tracking down its source.  Things quickly get a lot more complicated with powerful forces determined to thwart the efforts of our detective duo, no matter what.

 

    The use of profanity is refreshingly sparse; I only noted 8 instances in the first third of the book.  In most cases where a cussword is called for, a “milder variant” was used, including shite, feck, arse, bollox, and biatch, and as such, I didn't count those as cussing.  I thought this was a great innovation, which could be used by any authors writing lighthearted stories.

 

    The tale is told in the third-person POV, alternating between Aiden and Loch, with one exception.  That might sound confusing, but I thought it worked quite well here.  The world-building and character development were both done well, and the pacing was brisk, without any slow spots in the storytelling.

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Púca (n.) : a mischievous spirit, often depicted as a shape-shifting creature.

Others: Skeevy; (adj.); Craic (adj.).

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.3*/5, based on 84 ratings and 10 reviews.

    Goodreads: 4.13*/5, based on 82 ratings and 11 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    “Our clothes were stolen.”

    Claudine looked at them in shock.  “Stolen?”

    “Yep.  One minute they were there, when we came back they were gone,” Torloch shrugged, then smirked “I guess someone wanted a free show.”

    Claudine did not appear amused.  “Guys, that’s bad.  Really, really bad.”

    “Why?  Torloch looked confused.  “It’s just a pair of jeans.”

    “Intimate items—items that have touched your skin—can be used in spells.  Tracking spells, binding spells, concealing spells,” Claudine counted them off on her fingers.  “Love spells.”

    “That last one doesn’t sound too bad,” Torloch said.  (loc. 1193)

 

    “If any of this turns out to be intentionally misleading, we’ll come back and find you,” Torloch said as he skimmed the names.  “And if you aren’t here, we’ll hunt you down, and drag you by the ears out of whatever hole you’re hiding in.”

    “What my partner means to say is thank you for your assistance, we’ll be in touch if we need anything further,” Aiden said, grabbing the gargoyle’s arm and wheeling him away.

    “No, his partner didn’t mean to say any of that,” Torloch protested.  “Don’t put words in my mouth.”

    “I have to put words in your mouth, otherwise there’s too much room for your feet,” Aiden muttered back as they made their way to the door.  (loc. 1632)

 

Kindle Details…

    A Dragon, A Gargoyle, and A Faery Walk into a Pub sells for $4.99 right now at Amazon, as do the other three books in the series.  There are also several “holiday-themed” novellas related to, but not part of this series, all in the $0.99-$2.99 price range, plus one full-length Halloween-themed entry for $4.99.

 

“You do realize going to a pub and going to a pub to work are two very different things?”  (loc. 187)

    There a couple of things to quibble about.  First of all, typos abound.  A lot of them were punctuation slip-ups, plus things like diving/divining and this/his.  I was perplexed by several spelling inconsistencies, such as malarky/malarkey, fairie/faery, and Brennan/McBrennan.  These all fell into the “either way is correct category; but not both ways”.  Perhaps this is an inherent drawback of multiple authors, although good editing should catch these.

 

    The biggest issue was a ploy used in the ending, which I've never run into before.  There’s a whole chapter missing; and it’s the all-important climactic one.  At first I thought it was my faulty memory, from reading too late at night and all that.  Then I thought that somehow the printers and/or the conversion formatting process had waylaid it.

 

    But no, in the extras at the end of the book, an offer is made: “Want to know what really happened when Aiden torched the pub?  Click here to get the bonus chapter and jump onto our email list!”  Really?!

    I thought that closing with a cliffhanger ending was as low as one could get.  I stand corrected.

 

    6 Stars.  One last thing.  At one point a Latin phrase “in sanguine, vires et veritas” pops up.  The translation for it is: “strength and truth are in the blood”.  I suck at Latin.  Thank goodness for Google.

Speaks The Nightbird, Volume 2: Evil Unveiled - Robert McCammon

    2003; 418 pages.  Full Title: Speaks The Nightbird, Volume 2: Evil Unveiled.  Book 2 (or Chapter 24-44 in the newer, combined version of the book), out of the 5-book “Matthew Corbett” series.  New Author? : No.  Genre : Horror; Mystery; Witches; Demons; Suspense; Historical Fiction.  Overall Rating : 9*/10.

    Time is running out for Rachel Howarth.  She’s been tried by the magistrate, found guilty of being a witch, and will be burned at the stake five days hence.

    The magistrate’s young clerk, Matthew Corbett, believes Rachel is innocent, and is determined to prove it.  For that matter, he’s rather skeptical about the existence of witches at all.  Still, the evidence against Rachel is quite persuasive.

    For starters, both Rachel’s husband and Fount Royal’s minister have been murdered, clawed to death by an unknown beast, most likely some demon she summoned.  Then there are the various buildings in the town that have burnt to the ground, with the firefighting efforts seeming to have no effect on the infernos.  Surely this is the devil’s work.

    But the most damning evidence against Rachel are the sworn testimonies of three eyewitnesses, each of whom claims to have seen Rachel doing …um… nasty things with Satan himself.  None of the three give any indication that they’re lying, and one of them, little Violet Adams, is too young to think of such vile acts on her own.

    So Matthew has his work cut out for him, and not much time in which to do it.  And for the remaining townspeople of Fount Royal, who are watching their fledgling village turn into a ghost town due to that accursed witch, the five days until the burning at the stake can’t pass by soon enough.

What’s To Like...

    First off, let’s clarify things about this book.  It was originally written as two separate volumes, of which Speaks The Nightbird, Evil Unveiled is Volume 2.  The first volume, Speaks the Nightbird, Judgment of the Witch, is reviewed here.  The two volumes have since been combined into one book, and if you buy Speaks The Nightbird as a new book nowadays, you’ll get this combined version.  OTOH, if you pick it up in a used-book store, like I did, you could get either the combined book or one of the two individual volumes.

    The setting is the Carolina Colony in 1699, the same as in Book 1.  That one ended with lots of questions and no answers yet revealed.  The questions are:

    a.) Who is burning down the buildings in Fount Royal?

    b.) Who Is framing Rachel as a witch?

    c.) Is the Evil in Fount Royal of Natural or Supernatural origin?

    d.) Why is singing heard when Satan allegedly visits, and who’s singing?

    e.) Where did the innkeeper Shawcombe disappear to?

    f.) How did an Indian come into possession of a Spanish-minted gold coin?

       Robert McCammon wastes little time in starting to answer these in Evil Unveiled, and it’s fun for the reader to walk alongside Matthew, trying to make sense of all the weird things going on.  There are 21 chapters to cover 418 pages (chapters 24 thru 44 in the combined version), or if you’re reading it in your Kindle (I was), it starts at 55% in the combined book.  I once again was delighted  by the "Is it Natural or Supernatural?" aspect of the mystery, and I'll not give any spoilers about that here.

    I was again fascinated by the meticulous attention to historical detail.  But in addition to that, I liked the glimpse of the state of medical science back then.  The poor magistrate is at Death’s door, and the town doctor uses the latest medical practices to try to heal him.  Alas, these are things like leeches, a heat-&-vacuum blood treatment, applying a plaster, and last but definitely not least, something called a colonic.  I’ll spare you the details of this last one; let’s just say you’ll have a greater appreciation of the strides that have been made in the last 400 years in the medical field.

    I liked the inclusion of “Greek Fire”, whose composition is truly a lost secret in History.  There’s some French again, which I always appreciate, although I have to nitpick at the phrase “La Florida”.  It’s “La Floride.”  I'm presuming that Spellchecker is at fault for that typo.  Chess once again makes an appearance, and this time with an opening move (with a pawn), which is more in line with opening theory, such as it was in 1699.

    There’s a fair amount of cussing, which fits in appropriately with the frontier setting, one roll in the hay, and one instance of brutal torture.  Evil Unveiled, aka “Part 2”, is not a standalone novel, but most likely you’ll be reading the combined version, which is a complete and self-contained tale.

Kewlest New Word...

Grisard (n.) : a grayish-black color (French).

Others : Vulpine (adj.); Luffing (v.); .); Cattawago (n., and a word not found anywhere else on the Internet except this book).

Excerpts...

    “What can you tell us of the witch?  Does she weep and wail at the prospect of burning?”

    The stew he was about to swallow had suddenly sprouted thorns and lodged in his throat.  “Mrs. Vaughan,” he said, as politely as possible, “if you don’t mind … I would prefer not to talk about Rachel Howarth.”

    Suddenly Cherise looked at him and grinned, her blue eyes gleaming.  “Oh, that is a subject I find of interest!”  Her voice was pleasingly melodic, but there was a wickedly sharp edge to it as well.  “Do tell us about the witch, sir!  Is it true she shits toad-frogs?”  (loc. 8834)

    “Everyone goes on,” he repeated, with a taint of bitter mockery.  “Oh, yes.  They go on.  With crippled spirits and broken ideals, they do go on.  And with the passage of years they forget what crippled and broke them.  They accept it grandly as they grow older, as if crippling and breaking were gifts from a king.  Then those same hopeful spirits and large ideals in younger souls are viewed as stupid, and petty … and things to be crippled and broken, because everyone does go on.”  (loc. 10471)

Kindle Details...

    The e-book version of Speaks The Nightbird (the combined version) is presently on sale at Amazon, for a mere $1.99.  The other books in the Matthew Corbett series go for $6.99, except for Book 2, The Queen of Bedlam, which sells for a whopping $13.99.  Robert McCammon has other books in the Horror genre as well; these e-books are all in the price range of $1.99-$10.99.  If you have patience, the author graciously and periodically puts a lot of these e-books on sale for $1.99, except for the other books in this series.  I should know, I’ve been keeping an eye out for those.

If this was indeed Hell, (…) no wonder everyone was in such a fever to make their reservations.  (loc. 11357)

   The quibbles are minor and mostly technical in nature.  It took me a couple chapters to remember which characters had done what in the first volume.  But their various roles came back to me quickly, and hey, if I’d  read the combined version, or hadn't waited two months to read Volume 2, this wouldn’t’ve been an issue.

    The page-numbering system doesn't work in the second half of the “combined” Kindle version.  Book 1 is okay, but Book 2 starts out at page 484, and never moves from there.  Yeah, I know.  Picky, picky.

    In a similar vein, the number of pages listed for each version seem contradictory.  The paperback format says it has 816 pages, which makes sense: a pair of 400+ page books combined.  But Amazon says the Kindle version only has 500 pages, while the “Mass Market” paperback has 482 pages.  Amazon doesn’t tell you how many pages are in the Hardcover version, but Barnes & Noble says there are 726 pages in it.  That’s quite a variance if you're trying to make sure you're getting the combined story.

    None of this has anything to do Robert MaCammon’s fine storytelling and writing skills.  The only nit I can pick in that regard is that it seemed like the thread involving the innkeeper, Shawcombe, didn't seem to contribute anything to the storyline, and its resolution seemed to occur a tad bit too conveniently.  But hey, Tolkien had his equally irrelevant Tom Bombadil tangent, and nobody, including me, gripes about that.

    9 Stars.  Same as for Book 1, Judgment of the Witch.   For me, this was a great introduction to Robert McCammon’s novels.  I have a couple more on my Kindle, and also one on my TBR shelf.  And here’s hoping the author will someday break from his current pattern, and occasionally discount the other books in the Matthew Corbett series.

Speaks The Nightbird, Volume 1: Judgment of the Witch - Robert McCammon

    2002; 483 pages.  Full Title: Speaks The Nightbird, Volume 1: Judgment Of The Witch.  Book 1 (or ½), of the 6-book “Matthew Corbett” series.  New Author? : Yes.  Genre : Horror; Mystery; Witches; Suspense; Historical Fiction.  Overall Rating : 9*/10.

    The Carolina town of Fount Royal is dying, and everyone who still remains there knows why.

    Yes, people are succumbing left and right to the swamp plague.  So are the animals.  To say nothing of those two murders.  Plus the miserable jungle-like weather that seems to keep the sun from shining, which is ruining the crops.  But all of those things are effects, not causes.

    The cause is “her”.  The witch.  And the sooner she is hanged or burned at the stake – it doesn’t really matter which method is used now, does it? – the sooner the curse that is afflicting Fount Royal will end.

    But the town’s residents are civilized, law-abiding people.  The witch is in jail, and she's entitled to a fair and speedy trial.  It should only take a day at the most, after which she’ll be found guilty and sentenced to death.  So somebody get busy making the stake, chopping the wood, and lighting torches, cuz there’s gonna be a public burning real soon.  All that’s lacking is a judge.

    And he’s on his way from Charles Town.  He should be here any day now.

What’s To Like...

    Speaks The Nightbird – Volume 1: Judgment Of The Witch takes place in 1699, a few years after the onset of the Salem Witch Trials in New England.  The fictional (ANAICT) Fount Royal is a day or two's ride outside of the larger city of Charles Town, now modern-day Charleston, South Carolina. Back in those days there was no “North” or “South” Carolina, it was just the single colony.

    Robert McCammon is first and foremost a writer of the horror genre, but to be honest, I was more transfixed by the historical fiction aspect of Speaks The Nightbird.  When’s the last time you read a book that was set anywhere in American in 1699?  The attention to historical detail here is amazing, with now-archaic things like “toss ‘em boys” (a food), “black flaggers” (pirates), slide groat and wicket (boys’ games in those days), and the Spanish method of rolling tobacco leaves into cigars.

    The horror/mystery/thriller aspect of the book is just as good.  The fundamental question is whether the odd goings-on in Fount Royal are natural or supernatural in origin.  I very much enjoy books that keep you guessing about this.  Preston & Child employ the same motif in their Agent Pendergast series, and I’m a fan of them, too.

    I was impressed by the character development.  Our protagonist, Matthew Corbett, a young clerk and the assistant to the magistrate, is a fascinating study.  But the other major characters – the witch, the magistrate, Fount Royal’s founder, et al. – are also interesting people to meet and get to know.  As for the baddies, well, I can’t tell you anything about them because, other than Exodus Jerusalem (who may be more of a shyster than a baddie), they haven’t been identified yet.  More on this in a bit.

    The detailed descriptions conveyed to me a real “feel” for life in America in 1699.  I still haven’t figured out who-or-what “Jack One-Eye” is, but the “toss ‘em boys” food was explained on page 83, ditto for the enigmatic title on page 459.  I chuckled at the medicinal smoking of hemp on page 265; it is a rare treat to encounter some subtle humor in a horror story.  I also liked the chess game on page 193.  My only quibble is the assertion that Matthew’s first move was with one of his knights.  While not impossible, it would be rare for either player making their first move with anything but a pawn in 1699.  Still, Matthew says he was self-taught, so perhaps that explains his odd choice.

    The trial (technically. a hearing) begins on page 219.  The testimony against the accused witch is compelling; even Matthew is forced to admit that.  There is a lot of cussing and explicit sex, so you probably don't want little Tommy or Suzy reading this book.  None of the threads are tied up, but the book ends at a suitably-chosen spot.

Kewlest New Word...

Toss ‘em Boys (n.; phrase) : greasy roast chicken, so named because of the manner in which the fowl is caught.  Google it..

Others : Caliginous (adj.); Sippet (n.).

Excerpts...

    “Alice Barrow has taken to bed as well.”

    “Alice Barrow?”  Bidwell turned from the window to face the other man.  “Is she ailing?”

    “I had cause to visit John Swaine this morning,” Winston said.  “According to Cass Swaine, Alice Barrow has told several persons that she’s been suffering dreams of the Dark Man.  The dreams have so terrified her that she will not leave her bed.”

    Bidwell gave an exasperated snort.  “And so she’s spreading them like rancid butter on scones, is that it?”

    “It seems to be.”  (pg. 57)

    “How old are you?”

    “Twenty years.”

    “Have you always been so curious?”

    “Yes,” he answered.  “Always.”

    “From what I saw today, the magistrate doesn’t appreciate your curiosity.”

    Matthew said, “He appreciates the truth.  Sometimes we arrive at it from different routes.”  (pg. 281)

“Better the company of wolves than the cryin’ of saints.”  (pg. 29)

   Speaks The Nightbird, Volume 1 is not a standalone story, despite being 28 chapters and 483 pages long.  Normally I’d carp about that, but in researching this book, I discovered that if you pick this up new nowadays, you’ll find it to be 800+ pages in length, and is actually Volumes 1 and 2 combined.  That includes the e-book version.

   So it appears I have a very early edition of the book (the publisher is Pocket Books).  Indeed, the blurb in the back exhorts the reader to be sure not to miss Speaks The Nightbird, Volume 2: Evil Unveiled, which is/was "coming out next month”.

   

    Which means the only thing I have left to quibble about is the Wikipedia entry for Robert McCammon.  It really needs to be updated and fleshed out a bit.  The author has issued at least one more book since the Wikipedia article was last updated.

    9 Stars.  Frankly, if the only thing I can gripe about is the author’s Wikipedia page, you just know I thoroughly enjoyed the book.  Highly recommended, and that's from someone who doesn’t read much in the horror genre.  My OCD will demand that I read “Volume 2” at some point in the near future.

Equal Rites - Terry Pratchett

1987; 254 pages. Book #3 in the Discworld Series. Genre : Comedic Fantasy. Overall Rating : B-.

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There are two immutable truths in Discworld : 1.) Wizards are men, and 2.) Witches are women. That is, until a dying wizard bequeaths his magic staff to the about-to-be-born eighth son of an eighth son (which we all know will become a sourceror), and that son instead turns out to be a first daughter. The village witch, Granny Weatherwax, tries to set things right again, but eventually has to admit that it will take some assistance from the stuffy old wizards at the Unseen University.

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What's To Like...

The realms of witches and wizards are introduced into the Discworld saga. There are also some great new "concepts", such as Borrowing (where a witch enters the body of an animal such as a bird, and uses it for a time while coexisting with the animal's mind), and Headology (wherein, if you act like a witch, talk like a witch, and dress like a witch; people will see you as a witch without you having to perform any witchcraft). Finally, Pratchett adopts a new strategy - writing stories with themes and object lessons.

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Where's Waldo?

Waldo isn't here. Neither are Rincewind, Twoflower, the Luggage, and Cohen the Barbarian. All of whom were major characters in the first two books. There are dwarves and humans here, but no golems, werewolves, dragons, or vampires. This is also before any of the Night Watch show up, and there's no sign of the Patrician.

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Granny Weatherwax becomes a major character, and the banana-loving librarian is here. But the two other major figures in Equal Rites - Eskarina and Simon - are once and done. And ANAICT, the major lesson here (Equal Rights) doesn't stick either. In subsequent books the wizards are all men, and the witches are all women.

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New/Kewl Words...

Pratchett books are always vocabulary-builders.

Inglenook : a corner by the fireplace. Jollop : a strong liquor or medicine. Tannoy : a type of public-address system. Heterodyne : having alternating currents of two different frequencies that combine to make two new frequencies. Alembic : an obsolete piece of labware that once was used for distillations. Souk : the open-air market in an Arabian city. Incunable : Ancient books produced in the earliest days of printing. Topiaric : concerning the art of clipping trees or shrubbery into recognizable shapes, such as animals. Pillion : the seat behind the rider of a horse or motorbike (or in this case, a broomstick). Cowin : Some sort of term of familiarity. Evidently a Pratchettism, as googling it didn't help.

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Excerpt...

She let the animal go and looked out at the scenery again for a long time - the barge was passing between high orange cliffs now, banded with so many colours of rock it looked as though some hungry God had made the all-time record club sandwich - and tried to avoid the next thought. But it persisted, arriving in her mind like the unexpected limbo dancer under the lavatory door of Life. (pg. 103)

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"There's no such thing as a female wizard!"

Equal Rites seems like both a once-only tangent and a pivotal book in the Discworld series. Most of the characters won't be seen again. Yet there is direction here - Pratchett seems to be saying the focus will be on Discworld itself, not on a particular character, such as, say, Rand al'Thor in the Wheel Of Time saga. And the zaniness already present will be supplemented by themes and morals.

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Equal Rites will probably never be anyone's favorite Discworld volume, and I don't suggest it as the first-read for anyone new to the series. But it's still an entertaining read. We'll give it a "B-", and recommend it to all geeky readers (such as me) who like to watch the Discworld universe as it gradually adds new personalities, places, and species.