The Rembrandt Stratagem - Kellie Austin

   2023; 288 pages.   New Author? : Yes.  Full Title: From the Paranormal Case Files of Bishop Kincaid: The Rembrandt Stratagem.  Genres: Pulp Fiction; Paranormal Fantasy; Superheroes.  Overall Rating : 8½*/10.

 

    What if lots of those creatures that you read about in fantasy novels really exist?  The good ones as well as the bad ones, the cute and fuzzy ones as well as the magical and threatening ones. Gnomes, and elves, trolls and vampires, centaurs and werewolves.

 

    Well, they’re all sentient beings, so chances are they’d interact and dwell among humans.  There’d be variants in each species – more than one type of vampire or werewolf; and they’d definitely be outnumbered by us humans, since we seem to reproduce at alarming rates.

 

    Because they’re visibly different from us, you’d almost certainly find hatred and bigotry among a subset of humans.  But that would be balanced by others of us who’d advocate mutual tolerance and cooperation.  And no matter what, all of us are mortal, we'll all die at some point.

 

    Well, not quite all, if you throw a few mythical figures into the mix—such as Prometheus—and a cosmic deity or two.  Then what kind of world would you end up with?

 

    In our case, you'd have the setting for From the Paranormal Case Files of Bishop Kincaid: The Rembrandt Stratagem.

 

What’s To Like...

    The Rembrandt Stratagem is set in and around an alternate New York City, and is the first book in a new Pulp Fiction series penned by Kellie Austin featuring a fascinating and enigmatic protagonist, Bishop Kincaid.  He’s blessed with some powerful talents, but he’s also got a rebellious streak and is presently in deep doo-doo with his supernatural superiors.  His character is definitely “gray”, which is how I prefer my fictional heroes.

 

    There are a bunch of interesting characters to meet and keep track of.  Gant, Bishop’s bodyguard and driver, is a Neanderthal; and Devin, one of Bishop’s fellow “grays”, is a Gorgon.  Kane and Abel are a pair of sentient knives.  Some of those who seem to be humans, aren’t; and even the Cosmic Spiral has a certain flair to its personality.  The main paranormal group in the tale, Vampires, come in several genetic variations.

 

    Like any good Pulp Fiction novel, the action starts in Chapter One, and the thrills-&-spills are nonstop from there on.  There’s plenty of intrigue as well.  Who’s targeting Bishop?  Where’s the governor?  Why’s someone killing mermen?  What’s with all the Moraturi disappearing?  And perhaps most important of all, how the heck do you kill a Moraturi Worm?

 

    There’s a smattering of romance mixed in with all the adventure.  Dani Darling is married to D.A. Dan Dickens, but she was previously hooked up with Bishop.  Dan and Bishop have to occasionally team up to accomplish mutual goals, and it is interesting to watch how they handle Dani, who by career is a reporter that’s always in search of a news story.

 

    Everything builds to an ending that’s full of exciting, to-the-death bloodshed on several fronts.  The world is saved, but it comes at a heavy cost.  The immediate evil is vanquished, but greater threats lurk in the shadows, waiting to manifest themselves in a sequel, which, I’m told, is in the works.

Ratings…
    Amazon:  *.*/5 based on 0 ratings and 0 reviews.

    Goodreads: *.**/5 based on 0 ratings and 0 reviews.

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Precession (n.) : the slow movement of the axis of a spinning body around another axis due to a torque (such as a gravitational influence) acting to change the direction of the first axis.

 

Excerpt...

    “You mentioned silver.  We have a connection.”

    “What connection, Kincaid?” said the Commissioner.  “You mean silver and a true Vampire?  I graduated from high school.  Got a C- in Paranormal vs. Genetic aberration.  Even I know that silver kills a true Vampire.  Not on Genetics, you see, only on natural bloodsuckers.”  He beamed with a sense of accomplishment on knowing information that illustrated why he was in his new position.

    “Right.  You’re a smart man, Mr. Ross, truly befitting for a man in your stature,” replied Bishop, feeding Commissioner Ross’s ego.  (loc. 1841)

 

    “I shouldn’t be telling you these things.  I’m breaking a vow of the eternal library.  See, I just made a choice that was the right one, no matter the cost of that decision.  I will accept the punishment for doing so.  You are of the gray, Bishop.  Don’t be an avatar of heroism because you feel guilt over events of the past, be an avatar because you choose to be a light in this world of shadows, darkness, and death.

    “Bishop, it’s all about choice.”  (loc. 3018)

 

Kindle Details…

    Right now, The Rembrandt Stratagem sells for $3.99 at Amazon.  This is Kellie Austin’s debut full-length novel, but she has also contributed two short stories to Charles F. Millhouse’s fantastic “Pulp Reality” series.

 

“Oh my god,” she screamed again.  “I’m going to die horribly twice!”  (loc. 2449)

    The cussing is impressively sparse in The Rembrandt Stratagem, just 11 instances in the first 50% of the book; and I noted only one “adult situation”.

 

    A couple of the secondary plot threads, such as the governor’s whereabouts and the Dan/Dani/Bishop triangle, remain unresolved at the book's end, but I presume these will be addressed in subsequent books in the series.  Bishop is a long way from achieving redemption by the Cosmic Powers, and I doubt that will happen anytime soon.

 

    The book could use another round of copy-editing.  The punctuation needs work, the Glossary needs alphabetizing tweaks, and a couple character names have two spellings (Kane/Cain, Devin/Devon).  All of this can easily be corrected in the next edition of the book.

 

    Enough of the nitpicking.  The Rembrandt Stratagem is a fine debut entry in the Pulp Fiction genre by Kellie Austin.  It’s filled with lots of excitement, interesting characters, and a truly unique world setting.  Bishop Kincaid is a character I can empathize with: he made difficult choices a long time ago and now is steadfastly willing to live with the cosmic retribution that he knew would inevitably follow.  That might sound “dark”, but I think the book’s message is: despite all the hatred, bigotry, and violence we have to face every day, in the end, by choosing to confront and overcome it, we can make the world a better place.

 

    8½ Stars.

Burn Baby Burn - James Maxey

    2011; 205 pages.  Full Title: “Burn Baby Burn, A Supervillain Novel”.  Book 2 (out of 3) in the “Whoosh! Bam! Pow!” series.  New Author? : Yes.  Genre : Superheroes; Fantasy; Sci-Fi; Romance.  Overall Rating : 7½*/10.

 

    Let’s face it, being a supervillain sucks.  Royally.

 

    Oh sure, sometimes the baddie is more interesting than the superhero.  Batman is boring compared to the Riddler or the Penguin.  Catwoman may be sexier, but in the end, you know Batman’s going to prevail.  Spiderman never loses to Doctor Octopus, no matter how many times Doc Ock goes up against him.  Lex Luthor may be an evil genius, but Superman always outsmarts him.  Not even my favorite supervillain, the imp from the fifth dimension, Mister Mxyzptlk, (try saying that five times real fast) has ever overcome the Man of Steel.

 

    The truth is: if you’re a supervillain, you’re shafted.  You may live to fight another day, but that just means you’ll fail again.  Your motives are predestined to be bad, and the only thing you can look forward to is a superhero arriving on the scene just in time to thwart your plans.  Just once I’d like to hear someone say, “this was a fine, fine day to be a supervillain.”

 

    That happens in Burn Baby Burn.

 

What’s To Like...

    In Burn Baby Burn, the two protagonists, Pit Geek and Sunday, are both legitimate supervillains.  They rob banks and kill cops and innocent bystanders, all in the name of destabilizing the world.  Yet their underlying motives and sense of honor aren't far from those of the three superheroes sent to bring them in, dead or alive, and both sides’ superpowers are roughly equal.

 

    Burn Baby Burn is the middle tale in a three-book series.  There are a couple references to characters and events from Book 1, which I haven’t read, and I don’t think I was missing much.  The title refers to the female protagonist, who goes by various monikers, including Sunday, Sunny, Sundancer, Burn Baby, and Baby Burn.  She can fly, create mini wormholes, and shoot fire out of her hands.  Pit Geek can generate space warps, is immortal, and can swallow just about anything and everything.  Incredibly, the three superhero antagonists have even greater superpowers.

 

    A lot of the story is set in the Carolinas, plus a brief visit to Guantanamo.  You’ll also visit a newly-formed island country called Pangea, inhabited by super-intelligent chimps.  The action is fast-paced, and there are lots of neat gadgets such as the “Regeneration Ray Gun”.  I have to admit I didn’t “get” a play on words in a character’s name, “Rex Monday” but James Maxey explains it a bit later.

 

    The ending was good, with lots of excitement and some keen twists that made the resolution of the super-fighting completely unexpected to me.  This is a short-&-fast read, and for me it was a page-turner as well.  It’s a standalone story, and part of a series only to the degree that a few of the characters might make it into the following book.

 

Excerpts...

    “Everyone dies.  Everyone.”

    “You don’t.”

    “Yeah,” he said.  “I do.  A little every day.  You ain’t looking at a living man.  You’re looking at a corpse too stupid to call it quits.”

    “You keep saying you’re stupid,” she said, brushing her hair back from her face, “but the more I listen to you, the more I suspect you’re secretly kind of smart.”

    “That’s just my dumbness rubbing off on you,” he said.  (loc. 2014)

 

    “You drove your vehicle into my vehicle.  You met my attempt at telepathic communication with an act of violence.  The kinetic energy of your weapon shattered my form and lodged my components within the matrix of your nervous system.”

    “Vehicle?” said Pit.  “You were driving a damn purple elephant down a dark highway!  I wouldn’t have hit you if you’d been in something with headlights.”  (loc. 3320)

 

Kindle Details…

    Burn Baby Burn is currently priced at $2.99 at Amazon, the same as the other two books in the series.  James Maxey has a couple dozen other “comic-book style” e-books and bundles; they range in price from free to $4.99.

 

“The dung you fling at your enemy sticks beneath your own nails.”  (loc. 3114 )

    There are a couple quibbles.  There’s a bunch of cussing – 18 instances in the first 20%, which is where I stopped counting – and some “adult sexual situations”.  It makes me wonder who the target audience is.  The R-rated stuff will attract adult readers, but does it come at the cost of losing the juvenile crowd?

 

    Of greater concern are the typos.  There were enough of them for it to be distracting.  Her/Here, he/his, its/sits, skid/skidded, jacked/jacket, petal/pedal, etc.  Plurals often included an apostrophe, Sao Paulo changed gender to Sao Paula, the chemical acid/base indicator is “pH”, not “ph”, and one character’s last name was “Christenson” one time and “Christianson” the next.  Most of these are just spellchecker errors, and if there were proofreaders involved, they should be shot.

 

    Despite the editing issues, I enjoyed Burn Baby Burn.  It kept me interested throughout, had lots of thrills and spills,, and James Maxey’s witty writing style fully suits this “superhero” story.  So if you’re hankering for a return to your comic book “youth”, but are now too “adult” to be caught doing so, Burn Baby Burn is a perfect fit for you.

 

    7½ Stars.  We’ll close with a supervillain tip from Sunny.  If your superpower happens to be bursting into flame, remember to strip first before using it.  It’ll save you a ton of money for new clothing to replace what you were wearing which gets incinerated when you turn yourself into a blowtorch.