2019; 262 pages. Book 6 (out of 7) in the “Lord and Lady
Hetheridge Mystery” series. New Author?
: Yes. Genres : Traditional Detective
Mysteries; British Crime Fiction. Overall
Rating : 7*/10.
Lord Tony Hetheridge and his wife, Lady Kate
Hetheridge have both left their London police careers behind, albeit for
somewhat different reasons. For Tony, it’s
to pursue his dream of being a "PI" (Private Investigator). To be his own boss, pick his own cases,
investigate and hopefully solve the crimes in whatever manner he deems best.
For Kate, the reasons are much
darker. In her final case for the
police, she was beaten nearly to death, leading to extended stays in the
hospital, and a year’s worth of grueling rehab.
The emotional injuries ran even deeper. Kate withdrew from the world, and now it doesn’t
seem like she'll ever come out again.
But now Kate’s ex-partner in the
police force, DI Paul Bhar, has just contacted them to see if they’d both want
to rejoin the severely understaffed detective force, even if on a temporary
basis. The investigation of a recent
murder could definitely use their experience and attention. Alas, neither of the Hetheridges are keen on
it.
Then Paul mentions that the
killer rigged up the most bizarre murder weapon he’s ever seen, and if they
don’t believe him, Tony and Kate should come right over to the crime scene and
judge for themselves.
And just like that, they’re back on the job.
What’s To Like...
Blue Christmas
is the sixth book in Emma Jameson’s Lord and
Lady Hetheridge Mystery series, but it's my introduction to this author. The story is set in London, and it's written in what
I’ll call “Harry Potter style”, meaning that the spellings are “American”, as
in: neighboring and offenses; as are the measurements (miles, not metres); but the lingo is decidedly “British”, as in: the
loo, ASDA, spendy, windcheater, half-five, prawn crisps, and many more,
the best of which are listed below.
The tale has a delightful “feel” of being in
England, so I was surprised to find out that the author is American. I learned that England’s equivalent of our "9-1-1" is “999”, that the “Michelin Man” has recently lost a lot of weight, and got
a chuckle when my favorite British phrase “and
Bob’s your uncle”, showed up. Alas, American
culture has infiltrated the UK. Both
Facebook and Skype come into play, Frasier is a popular TV show, and the
“STEM” educational curriculum is in use across the pond.
Amazon lists the genre as a “Traditional
Detective Series”, and that seems accurate, but cozy mystery fans will
also be comfortable with it, as I noticed only two instances of cussing throughout
the entire book. Yes, we get to see the
murder victim at the crime scene and yes, Kate and Tony have a couple of rolls-in-the-hay, but it’s all tastefully done.
The promise of “most bizarre
murder weapon ever” proved to be true, and suckered me into guessing the wrong
suspect. Tony and Kate both eventually
suss out the perpetrator, albeit via somewhat different paths of logic. In the end, they both discover that their transition back
into the London police system has gone rather smoothly.
Kewlest New Word ...
Skeevy (adj.) : unpleasant, squalid, distasteful.
Others: gimcrack (adj.); fanny about (v. Britishism);
giddy goat (n., phrase), winkle out (v., Britishism);
bog (n.,
Britishism); rozzers
(n., plural, Britishism);
skint (adj., Britishism); schtum (adj.);
up the duff (phrase); bellend (n., obscene).
Ratings…
Amazon: 4.5*/5, based on 2,290
ratings and 343 reviews.
Goodreads: 4.37*/5,
based on 1,743 ratings and 183 reviews.
Excerpts...
They were keenly aware that a case’s
evidence could be adulterated or destroyed altogether by witnesses, police
officers, or even medical personnel, and strove to photograph, bag, and
preemptively collect as much as possible.
Any break in the chain of custody would be exploited in court by the
defense. Such barristers certainly
weren’t above suggesting to a jury that if Constable Cockup had breathed on a
bloodstain, the DNA in the real killer’s blood might have magically
transmogrified into that of the poor, innocent man standing in the dock. (loc. 2089)
“I hope nobody takes offense, but look
around. Old man Galen was a bitter
pill. He dumped piss-pots in our garden
once a week. He chased dog-walkers. He used to taunt Selma about her oxygen tank
and say when you can’t breathe, take a hint and drop dead. He told one of Leona’s man-friends that she
had syphilis…”
“Ebola, actually, but the intent was the
same,” Leona broke in. “And that was my
ex-husband.” (loc. 2527)
“Your grandchild
will be a wog! We’re calling it Woggie
McWogface!” (loc.
1921)
There are some nits to
pick. Blue
Christmas focuses on both the mystery element – how to figure out who
murdered an old man when everyone in the neighborhood disliked him, and the human
element – will Kate ever be able to put the traumatic events of the previous
book behind her? Sadly, the balance of that focus is
heavily weighted towards the human issues.
In fact, the first 10% of the book is devoted exclusively to that. So if you’re anxious to get started solving the
murder case, as I was, you’ve got quite a wait at the outset.
There's not a lot of tension and excitement in the ending. All the suspects are called
to a neighborhood meeting where Tony and Kate present the results of their
investigations. The perpetrator is identified
on logical but flimsy evidence, yet conveniently and inexplicably gives a full and unforced confession. The whole thing felt contrived.
But perhaps I just haven’t
caught the gist of this series yet. Maybe the personal lives of our two protagonists are just as
important, and get just as much attention, as the crimes they
investigate.
We shall see. I’ve got two more books from
this series sitting on my Kindle, and I’m betting I’ll have a better idea of what a typical Emma
Jameson story entails after reading them.
7 Stars. Blue Christmas was my “Holiday read” for 2021, and I note in closing that the Epilogue was appropriately heartwarming and Christmassy in a Dickensian sort of way, with nary a “Bah humbug!” in sight.
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