Out of the Soylent Planet - Robert Kroese

   2017; 242 pages.  Full Title: Out of the Soylent Planet (A Rex Nihilo Adventure).  Book 0 (out of 4) in the “Starship Grifters” series.  New Author? : No.  Genre : Science Fiction; Spoof.  Overall Rating : 8*/10.

 

    Rex Nihilo and Sasha.  A wheeling-dealing con artist and an incapable-of-lying android.  A pair of cosmic connivers.  The Galactic Malarchy’s maladroit malady.  And the two main characters in Robert Kroese’s hilarious “Starship Grifters” series.

 

    But inquiring minds want to know: when, where, and how did they first meet up?  When you encounter them in Book One (reviewed here), they’re already a two-man, um, well… one-human-one-robot… dynamic duo, gallivanting around the universe in search of moneymaking opportunities and gullible marks.  Well, that’s what Rex is doing anyway; Sasha job seems mostly to be to talk Rex out of going through with his hastily-conceived and poorly-executed scams.

 

    Now at last we are given the answers.  Out of the Soylent Planet is the prequel to this series, even though it is chronologically the third book, publishing-wise.  So slip on your space suit, hop into your hovercar, and don’t forget to pack your lazeweapon of choice.

 

    We’re going adventuring with Rex and Sasha!

 

What’s To Like...

    There’s no drop-off in quality in Out of the Soylent Planet just because it’s a prequel; there’s just as much wit, slapstick spoofery, and  birskly-paced action as in the first two books.  The story is short, just 202 pages covered by 27 chapters, but there's also a 40-page bonus short story, The Chicolini Incident, tacked on, and it’s just as much fun to read as the main tale.

 

    The story is once again told in the first-person POV by Sasha.  Other than her and Rex, I recognized only one other recurring character: the Malarchian bad guy Heinous Vlaak, although it’s been a couple of years since I read the first two books in this series.  Happily, there are a bunch of new folks to meet and greet: some baddies, such as Bergoon the Grebatt and Andronicus Hamm; some goodies, such as MASHER-7719 (aka “Bill”) and my favorite newcomer, a shambler named Stubby Joe, who’s the green beastie you see of the book’s cover.

 

    I was impressed that the old Broadway play “A Streetcar Named Desire” could be worked into the story; ditto for the BeeGees disco hit “Stayin’ Alive”.  There are a couple nods to Sci-Fi movies; the book’s title clues you in to one of them.  And the acronyms used are both clever and droll, as are the assortment of critters encountered.

 

    You’ll experience the sublime joy of eating oodles and oodles of creamed corn, and learn that the best job to have on Jorfu is that of a "Soylent Wrangler".  The second-best job is being a Quality Assurance supervisor, a career near and dear to my heart.  And for pun enthusiasts, there is an unforgettable and lengthily-contrived one near the end of the story.

 

      The ending is sufficiently clever, as Rex saves the day with one of his many spur-of-the-moment schemes.  He and Sasha escape their troubles and blast off to further adventures, leaving a couple of grudge-holding baddies in their wake, screaming for revenge.

 

    The Chicolini Incident is also worth your time, with lots of humor to keep you turning the pages.  Rex attempts a multiple-phase arms deal scam, and the usual mayhem and unexpected twists arise.  In his foreword, Robert Kroese warns that The Chicolini Incident is guilty of a cliffhanger ending, and explains why, but I thought the tale ended at a logical place.

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Sophistry (n.) : The use of fallacious arguments, especially with the intent of deceiving.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.2/5 based on 96 ratings.

    Goodreads: 4.11/5 based on 294 ratings and 42 reviews

 

Excerpts...

    “Now many of you have probably heard that you’re going to be literally ground up and made into SLOP,” Sloppy continued.  “Let me assure you, nothing could be further from the truth.  Setting aside the occasional industrial accident, there is simply no possibility you’ll be ground up and made into SLOP as long as you remain a productive Ubiqorp employee.  And when your productive output falls below a minimum threshold, you’ll be painlessly euthanized, pulverized and added to the soil additive mixture in our plantations.”

    “Well, I feel better,” said Rex.  (loc. 1955)

 

    “I am in love with Stubby Joe,” Bill announced.  “I am sorry, Mistress Ono.  I do not believe things are going to work out between us.”

    I was too stunned to respond.  Rex said what we were all thinking.  “You realize you’re a robot and Stubby Joe is a talking plant, right?”

    “Love transcends such categories,” Bill said, taking one of Stubby Joe’s tentacles in his giant, pincer-like hand.  (loc. 3525)

 

Kindle Details…

    Right now Out of the Soylent Planet costs $4.99 at Amazon.  The other books in the series all sell for $4.99 apiece.  Robert Kroese has more than a dozen other e-novels, some in other series, some standalones, and ranging in price from $2.99 to $13.99; as well as several short stories for $0.99.

 

“Have you ever spent three days in a wuffle field, watching for skorf-rats trying to run off with your squishbobbles?”  (loc. 175 )

    There’s not much to quibble about in Out of the Soylent Planet.  The primary plotline – Rex and Sasha’s attempts to escape from a slave planet, might seem somewhat modest, but the main purpose of the book is to present a plausible backstory for our two protagonists, and in that regard it succeeds nicely.

 

    There’s a smidgen of mild cussing, which is the norm for this series, and a miniscule dab of romance, albeit interspecies-to-the-extreme in nature, which you can get a glimpse of in the second excerpt, above.

 

    Finally, one of the running gags throughout the book is Rex’s persistent mangling of Sasha’s name.  Surprisingly, this clears up about ¾ through the story, only to start up once more near the end.  I thought there was some significance to this – like Rex beginning to accept Sasha as an equal - but if so, it wasn’t consistent since it didn’t last.  Oh well, let’s chalk that up to me overthinking things.

    But none of this nitpicking is significant.  Out of the Soylent Planet was a fast, fun read for me, and my only regret is that there's only one more book in the series, The Wrath of Cons, that I haven't read.  It came out in October 2018, and since Robert Kroese hasn't published any more Rex Nihilo adventures since then, I'm going to assume this is a completed series.

 

    8 Stars.  On a personal note, I chuckled out loud about a company mentioned early on by Rex called “Gro-Mor”, apparently a galactic agricultural company, since Rex mentions that they employ irrigation bots.  A long time ago, the company I worked for did business with a company called Gro-Mor (with one minor spelling variation), also in an agrochemical capacity, and it was spooky to see them pop up again here.