2008; 321 pages (but only 299 of
that is text). Full Title: “Stupid Wars: A Citizen’s Guide to Botched Putsches,
Failed Coups, Inane Invasions, and Ridiculous Revolutions”. New Authors? : Yes & Yes. Genres: History; War; Military History; Non-Fiction. Overall Rating : 9*/10.
Stupid Wars.
They happen occasionally. Sometimes the stupidity is caused by
glory-seeking political leaders.
Sometimes the stupidity is due to incredibly inept and clueless
generals. Sometimes the stupidity is
driven by national pride. One was fought
to protest the taxing on whiskey.
To be clear, though, not all
wars are stupid. World War 2, for
instance, was fought for very noble reasons.
So was the Korean War.
Two things are worth noting
about Stupid Wars. First, history
generally doesn’t supply a lot of details about them. There’s not much glory to be gained in
winning a Stupid War. And if you’re the
loser, you really don’t want to talk about it.
And second, as Ed Strosser and
Michael Prince discovered when they studied those Stupid Wars: once started, they are terribly hard to end.
What’s To Like...
After an overview in the Introduction, Stupid Wars is divided into sixteen chapters
covering one war apiece. I’m happy to say
I’d heard of all of them except one (the first
one), but usually knew only the barest of details about the conflicts,
including those that have happened during my lifetime.
My favorite chapters/wars
were:
1. The Fourth Crusade (1198)
2. The Whiskey Rebellion (1794)
3. The US Invasion of Russia (1918)
4. The Winter War Between Russia and Finland (1939)
5. The Falkland Islands War (1982)
6. The US Invasion of Grenada (1983)
The chapters generally follow this format:
a.
Introduction
b. The
Players
c. The
General Situation
d. What
Happened
e. What
Happened After
I was impressed by the
politically equitable approach of the book.
Russia starts three of these Stupid Wars (Finland,
Afghanistan, the Gorbachev coup); the US matches that with three of its
own (Russia, Bay of Pigs, Grenada); with Reagan initiating one of those (Grenada),
and JFK initiating another (Bay of Pigs). Hitler is both a plotter (the Beer Hall Putsch) and the target in one (the Generals’ Coup).
The 16 Stupid Wars are
presented in chronological order, ranging from 337 AD to 1991. The text is packed with historical
details. You’ll learn where the first
Molotov cocktails were made and used, and why western Pennsylvanians (My native
state! Yay us!) rose up in rebellion in 1794 over a tax upon their beloved whiskey. That revolt was doomed though: the insurgents were
hopelessly outnumbered. The total
population of Pittsburgh in the 1790 census was only 376 citizens.
Stupid
Wars is written in what I call a “Sarah
Vowell” tone: lighthearted and witty. Chapter 12 starts the “in my lifetime” portion of the wars. My Kindle said the book was 321 pages long,
but the text actually ends at page 299, with the rest of the book being
“Extras” consisting of “Sources”, “About the
Authors”, and “Searchable Terms”.
Ratings…
Amazon:
4.1/5
based on 73 ratings and 33 reviews.
Goodreads: 3.41/5 based on 298
ratings and 55 reviews.
Kewlest New Word ...
Louche (adj.) : disreputable or sordid in a
rakish or appealing way.
Excerpts...
It should be noted at this point that
Paraguay was very small and poor, with the barest whiff of an arms
industry. Brazil, on the other hand, had
everything that Paraguay lacked: men, wealth, arms, and contacts with the
outside world. While exact figures are
difficult to achieve, Paraguay had about half a million people. Brazil’s population numbered over 10
million. Lopez, however, was not
constrained by the logic of simple math.
Besides, it would be a quick war, he convinced himself, and the
Brazilians would soon tire of pounding him and sue for peace. Ah yes, the old formula for success—wear out
the enemy by dying too frequently before them. (loc. 1117)
The primary aspect of the Falkland Islands
has been their complete insignificance in every way. The islands have no practical use except as a
whaling station, weather observatory (although dreary is what people usually
observe), or naval coaling station, useful in the rare case your ships still
use coal. When English sea captain James
Cook discovered the islands, he declared them “not worth the discovery.” On the other hand, he did feel it was worthy
to note that it was not worth discovering. (loc. 3566)
Kindle Details…
Stupid
Wars currently sells for $6.99 at Amazon. ANAICT it is the only collaboration between
these two authors. In fact, it seems
neither one even has any e-books to offer with them as the sole author.
He was truly a
diplomatic idiot savant. (loc.
1141)
The quibbles are rather
nitpicky. The cussing is sparse: only 13
instances in the whole book, and seven of those are “birdshit” because one of the Stupid Wars was fought over
the valuable commodity of guano.
The book is heavily weighted
towards the recent past—eleven of the sixteen chapter are set in the 20th
century. It is also weighted, as the
authors point out, towards Western civilization. However, I think such “slanting” is inherent: we
have a lot more information available on wars of recent vintage, and those that take place in our neck of the woods, as
compared with wars fought in Africa and the Far East.
A few reviewers groused that
some of these conflicts don’t qualify as “wars”, most notably Hitler’s “Beer
Hall Putsch”. They have a point, I suppose, but
OTOH, military personnel were involved in every one of these sixteen
selections.
9 Stars. For me, Stupid Wars was a great read. I may have heard of all but one of these conflicts, but the only information I knew of was whatever could be found in the newspapers, which would be neither comprehensive nor objective. The history of any war is just a PR spin by the victors; it is accurate only if it serves to justify the winning side. Thank goodness for authors like Ed Strosser and Michael Prince who present alternative viewpoints.
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