2012;
266 pages. Book #1 of the trilogy “The Winds of Moira”. New Author? : Yes. Genre : Fantasy Quest. Overall Rating : 4½*/10.
Analecta
may be young, but she is “the Select”, the “Delectes”, and as such, has been
charged with a sacred (bordering on suicidal) mission. Allodial and his band are also on a sacred
quest. At least until the shipwreck,
after which it is Allodial’s 1-man expedition.
When they meet (and let’s face it, they will meet), shall it
be as friends, allies, and/or lovers? Or
will it be as foes trying to kill each other?
Perhaps only the Winds of Moira can say.
What’s To Like...
The pair of simultaneous quests is an innovative plot device, even if it is obvious that Analecta’s
takes precedence. There is a magik
system, but it doesn’t overwhelm the story itself. Lawrence Sylou-Creutz Ojermark weaves some snippets of poetry woven into
the chapters, which I found to be kewl.
The fantasy world itself is developed nicely, with its deserts, mountains,
caves, towns, forests, and coastlines.
The fantastical creatures are somewhat limited – gnomes and xhosas – but
the latter come in several shades and sizes, and are quite fascinating (see book cover above).
Unfortunately,
the storytelling is weak. For starters,
there is very little action for the first 2/3 of the book. Allodial plods through the desert, Analecta
plods through the mountains; but since each is traveling alone, there is almost zero dialogue. This means that
descriptions abound, but a lot of them seem unnecessary. For instance, we spend way too much time with
Analecta as she climbs down a mountainside.
The Prologue is baffling and has zero relevance. Ditto for a letter from Analecta’s
father. The role of religion in the tale
is also poorly defined. Allusions are
made to a god called Adonai, and Analecta’s dad was a Roman Catholic-type
priest who had to leave his order when he got married. But neither has any effect on the
storyline. Perhaps this gets sorted out
in the other books of the trilogy, but here it just takes up space.
The Xhosa are similarly vague. On
one hand, they’re powerful and apparently omniscient (“Ask me anything…”). On the other hand, a teenage girl with a
couple daggers can defeat and kill one of them singlehandedly, and its partner apparently
sees no reason to avenge the slaying.
Finally,
there are the WTF’s. Allodial is
shipwrecked and washed up on an uninhabited seashore. He can either cross the broiling, Saharan
desert, or else make his way along the coast until he finds a settlement. Yep, guess which way he chooses. Analecta can ask the Xhosa anything she
wants, but opts for a most mundane question.
Excerpts...
“You’re implying
that you understand concepts such as truth and honor, but what would a beast
know of such things?” Analecta challenged, strength seeping into her voice.
“What would
people know! You think religion, wars,
death, and destruction are what make you great?
You suck the resources from these very lands. You kill that which we feed upon. All for noble ideals? No.
You do this for yourselves, out of greed, malice, ignorance, and
hate. Don’t ask me of honor and truth,
when you know not of what you speak,” the xhosa spat back, its intelligent
green eyes glaring at her. (loc.
1177)
A strange calm
came over her. So this was it. This was the end of life. It was nothing more than an illogical ride
through various emotional trips, spawned by one’s experiences. Oddly she felt let down in her final hour. (loc. 2554)
Kindle Details...
A
Journey Begins sells for $0.99 at Amazon. The other two books of this trilogy are
available for $2.99 apiece; or you can get the whole trilogy bundled for $3.99. In addition, the author has several books on
some sort of wellness program he calls Plenary
Fitness. And last but not least
he has a book of poems for $0.99.
When all logical options fail, try the absurd. (loc. 2644)
A
Journey Begins has a “first-draft” feel and cries out for some
serious editing and polishing. Give our
two protagonists some sort of companions so some dialogue can be written. Delete the extraneous descriptions, and
replace them with some action. Develop
the Xhosas more clearly (the gnomes were much better done), and throw
a couple more types of critters into the mix.
Finally, do away with the cliffhanger ending. It is amateurish at best; annoying at
worst. A reader is entitled to a
storyline with a satisfying conclusion, even if it is just part of a larger
saga. And yes, this is one of my pet reading
peeves.
With enough re-write and polish, this can be a great series. And who knows, perhaps Books 2 and 3 show
significant improvement. But when the
first book falters, it’s hard to justify continuing on with the series.
4½ Stars. Add 1 star if
you’re okay with cliffhanger endings.
No comments:
Post a Comment