1991; 310 pages. Book 1 (out of 3) in the “Millennial Contest” series. New Authors? : Yes, and no. Genres : Humorous Fantasy; Fairy Tales. Overall Rating: 5*/10.
It’s 1000 CE and you know what that
means. Well, actually you probably don’t,
unless you’re a demon or an angel.
Those creatures, for better
and for worse, know it’s time for the Millennial Contest, a
competition that takes place only every thousand years, and which will
determine whether Good or Evil will control the universe for the next
millennium.
Azzie Elbub is a charismatic
but malevolent demon who is determined to win the event for the Dark Side. His
scheme is to reenact the age-old Sleeping Beauty tale but with a startling new
twist: when Prince Charming finally makes it to where Sleeping Beauty reposes,
his quest will end in disaster.
Good luck, Azzie. Somehow, I think this will turn out to be “too
much of a bad thing.”
What’s To Like...
Bring Me the Head
of Prince Charming is a lighthearted 1991 novel featuring the
collaborative efforts of two respected sci-fi/fantasy authors, Roger Zelazny and
Robert Sheckley. The other two books in
the trilogy are If at Faust You Don’t Succeed
and A Farce to be Reckoned With. ANAICT, none of these are available in e-book
format.
The storyline is an amusing depiction
of the differences, and similarities, between the nature of good and evil. There are also several fairy tales – Sleeping
Beauty, Cinderella, Aladdin – worked into the tale.. Azzie is a fun-to-watch protagonist; he may
be an evil demon but he’s carrying out a noble mission, albeit for the dark
side, and is repeatedly beset by the underworld's bureaucracy and his own
ineptness.
There are drawings, usually of
one of the characters, at the start of each of the 10 parts. Each part has between 5 and 13 chapters, with
an average length of just about 5 pages per chapter. There are critters galore to meet and dread, including talking
ponies (as well as talking swords and talking spells), dragons, Harpies,
Valkyries, dwarves. and the Morrigan.
Most of the settings are in Western Europe in 1000 CE, with an excursion
or two into the Underworld.
The book is a vocabulary-lover's delight. There are a bunch of highfalutin ones such as: palaverations,
fuscating, quiddities, ensorcelled, congeries, aftertides, scansions, ensor,
and those were just the ones that dazzled me after I started keeping writing
them down. A couple more are listed below.
The trivia details were also
neat. Mad
King Ludwig, Peer Gynt, and Turkestan
get mentioned, as well as the ancient Irish legends Finn
McCool and Cuchulain. Cuisine-wise, nachos
and pho make an appearance, but so
does fermented dragon poop. And I’m definitely going to get me a pair of Seven League Boots, although they do have their drawbacks.
You can pretty much figure out
which side will emerge victorious in this contest, but the fun is watching
Azzie getting vexed the all snags in his that crop up in his scheming. More about the ending in a bit. There’s a cute Epilogue at the very end.
Ratings…
Amazon: 4.5*/5, based on 36 ratings
and 15 reviews.
Goodreads: 3.74*/5,
based on 3,638
ratings and 136 reviews.
Kewlest New Word…
Bosky (adj.) : wooded; covered by trees or
bushes.
Others: Seneschal (n.); Caitiff (n.).
Excerpts...
“I love you; the bad enchantment has ended
at last, and we can be together again, just as you have always wanted and I
secretly have wanted, too, though I said otherwise.”
“What enchantment?” Ylith said.
“Did I mention an enchantment?”
“You said, ‘Now the bad enchantment has
ended.’”
“I said that? You’re sure?”
“Of course I’m sure!”
“Well, I shouldn’t have,” Azzie said. (pg. 109)
“Where is your sword?”
“I need to get it.”
“You’re supposed to have a sword on your
person at all times.”
“Give me a break, it’s my wedding day.”
“Well, go get your sword, but be quick
about it.”
“Frike, you were practically a father to
me. How can you do this?”
“Well, I’m playing a pretty traditional
role,” Frike said. “The crippled servant
who is slightly sympathetic but still has a fatal bias toward evil. Nothing personal, but we must fight it out
with swords.”
“Well, rats,” Charming said. “Wait right here. I’ll be back with my sword.” (pg. 277)
“Cowardice is
nothing to be ashamed of, Prince Charming. (…) It is like measles—most people
get it at least once in their lives.” (pg.
279)
As expected in any
fairy-tale/fantasy story, there’s very little cussing. I noted just 4 instances in the first third
of the book, and those were relatively mild ones.
The writing style is adequate, the early
hiccups to Azzie’s plans are humorous, but the main storyline drags and after a while I
just wanted to get on with the Millennial Contest. There is a decent amount of wit – that’s a
trademark of both authors – but it seemed aimed at a junior-high reader, adult readers may find it simplistic.
The big problem is the
ending. When we finally get to the climax
of both Good and Evil’s projects, they both fizzle out. Babriel’s is barely mentioned and a complete
flop, and Azzie’s “Napping Beauty” scenario plays out in the worst possible way
for Evil. Both are without an iota of tension or excitement. I was expecting more action and adventure in
a book titled Bring Me the Head of Prince Charming. Maybe each author expected the other one to
come up with a boffo ending.
5 Stars.
