Calculated Whisk - Lindsay Buroker

    2026; 294 pages.  Book 1 (out of 1, although that will change shortly) in the “Tales from the Dragon Diner” series.  New Author? : No.  Genres: Cozy Fantasy; Dragons; Humorous Fantasy.  Overall Rating: 8½*/10.

 

    It’s good to be back in one’s old stomping ground, which in Rylana’s case means the city of Tranquility.  Actually, she grew up in a mansion across the lake from Tranquility, but she and her dad are estranged, and mostly she’s here because she’s broke and needs to find a job.

 

    Rylana was an archer in the Ore Wars, which are thankfully now over, and she's traveling with a fellow veteran, the elven assassin Sylin.  The stop in Tranquility is temporary: get a paying short-term job, collect some funds, and move on, hopefully without running into her father.

 

    Hey look!  There’s an eatery called “the Dragon Diner”.  Maybe they’re hiring.  Rylana and Sylin fought against the dragons in the Ore Wars, but hopefully, whatever dragon is running that diner isn’t a veteran.  And even if he is, the odds are slim that he’d recognize this warrior duo as a pair of former foes.

 

    Yeah, Rylana, about those slim odds…

 

What’s To Like...

   Calculated Whisk is the opening book in Lindsay Buroker’s latest fantasy series: Tales of the Dragon Diner.  The Amazon blurb labels it a work of Cozy Fantasy Fiction, which is very accurate, and is good to keep that in mind when reading it.

 

    Think of it as a “Hallmark Movie, With Dragons”.  The main plot thread involves the dragon who owns the diner, Jildarin, who is preparing to compete in a culinary competition held annually in Tranquility called “the Golden Whisk”.  The contest consists of three rounds, wherein the contestants are required to invent a new dish consisting of a trio of random ingredients.  They then can add in their personal selection of herbs and spices, and the final product is tasted by a panel of judges.  It is rumored that Jildarin's spice inventory includes some with aphrodisiac qualities.

 

    I liked the fantasy worldbuilding.  Tranquility is filled with a wide variety of creatures, including dragons, elves, goblins, golems, dwarfs, and gnomes, with an occasional wyvern flying overhead.  Dragons are also shape-shifters, although city statutes require them to maintain their human forms anywhere outside their abodes.  Also, all magical weapons are tied up with magical bonds by city guards when anyone enters the city.  Tranquility hates interspecies bloodshed.

 

    As expected in a Lindsay Buroker novel, witty dialogue abounds.  Both Rylana and Sylin have sharp tongues, even when conversing with each other.  See the first excerpt below.  Thrills-&-Spills take a back seat to Intrigue, although there is one epic dragon melee that lets the humans know who’s boss.  And although Rylana suspects Sylin’s been using her assassin skills to earn some cash, it’s best not to question her about it.

 

    The ending will make any Hallmark movie lover smile.  It isn’t particularly twisty, and face it, you already know who’s going to win the Golden Whisk.  But there is some skullduggery for Rylana to espy and deal with, and things end at a logical spot.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.6*/5, based on 769 ratings and 72 reviews.

    Goodreads: 4.48*/5, based on 529 ratings and 52 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    “You’re a good friend,” Rylana said as they walked up the road toward the ferry.  “Even if you don’t consider me one.”

    “Assassins can’t allow themselves to get close to others, lest enemies manipulate them by their emotional attachments.”

    “You don’t think we were close when we were smashed into that closet together?  The hilt of your knife was jabbing into my kidney.”

    “Not emotionally close, no.  Feelings weren’t involved.”

    “Are you sure?  My kidney had some feelings.”  (pg. 183)

 

    Rylana gave Jildarin an approving gesture, but the announcer had said they could begin the second dish, and he was with the other chefs, gathering ingredients from the pantries and iceboxes.

    “Isn’t that Jildarin a dragon himself” someone murmured.

    “I didn’t think dragons could cook,” someone else said.

    “They can roast humans without trouble.”

    “That wouldn’t be allowed here.”

    “Are you sure?  They haven’t announced the ingredients for the last meal yet.”  (pg. 273)

 

Kindle Details…

    Calculated Whisk presently sells for $0.99 at Amazon, which is a great introductory deal..  The sequel, Knead for Speed, is due to come out on June 30^th.  You can preorder that one for $4.99.

 

“I’m friendly and charming and hardly ever roar at people.”  (pg. 77)

    As you’d expect, the profanity frequency is low in Calculated Whisk.  I counted just five instances in the first 25% of the book, although two of those were a “6-lettered C-word” that’s rarely encountered.  I spotted only one typo: R ylana/Rylana, and I bet that one cropped up during the printing phase.

 

    The subject of mating comes up a lot, and there’s a hint of romance in the storyline, but it’s not enough to scare off male fantasy readers.   I chuckled at the made-up word “zerg”.

 

    The past adventures of Rylana and Sylin, mostly their wartime years, are mentioned frequently.  This is my third Lindsay Buroker novel, and I don’t recall these two protagonists being mentioned in either of those books, but this author has written a slew of series, and I suspect they’ve both starred in some other of her tales.

 

    The biggest quibble (is that an oxymoron?) I can think of is that a whole bunch of secondary plot threads are left dangling at the end.  Will Rylana and her dad make up?  Will romance bloom in her near future?  Why are some elves hunting for Sylin?  And several more.  But that’s what sequels are for, isn’t it?

 

    I’m not a big “cozy reader”, but Calculated Whisk kept me turning the pages.  The pacing is good, the storytelling is masterful, and the wit abounds.  I was looking for a lighthearted magical read, and that’s exactly what I got.

 

    8½ Stars.  One last thing.  I don’t remember any person or creature dying in Calculated Whisk, despite one of the protagonists being a skilled assassin.  When’s the last time you read a book where that was true?

Sinister Magic - Lindsay Buroker

    2020; 250 pages.  Book 1 (out of 9) in the “Death Before Dragons” series.  New Author? : No.  Genres: Humorous Fantasy; Dragons; Urban Fantasy.  Overall Rating: 9*/10.

 

    Meet Val Thorvald.  She works for the government as a bounty hunter, specializing in eliminating magical beings.  But it’s all top secret, so don’t go telling anyone about this.  Val is half-human and half-elf, which is a definite asset in this business.  She can learn spells and detect magical creatures when they’re nearby.

 

    She’s also got some way-kewl weapons.  One is a long sword she’s named “Chopper”.  Another is a submachine pistol called “Fezzik”.  But her most lethal weapon is Sindari.  He’s a giant-sized tiger from a magical otherworld, whom she can summon telepathically.

 

    So if you’re a rogue magical creature here in this dimension, you better beware of Val and Sindari.  Go back to the magical realm and be thankful you still exist.  Unless you’re a dragon.  They can easily whup Val and Sindari simultaneously with one wing tied behind their back.  No one in their right mind messes with dragons.

 

    Heh.  Guess what kind of creature just crossed Val’s path this morning.  And it was also doing bounty hunter work, in fact chasing after the same wyvern she is.  Professional jealousy is about to reach a new level.

 

What’s To Like...

    Sinister Magic is the first book in Lindsay Buroker’s 9-book, Humorous Fantasy “Death Before Dragons” series.  It is set in the Pacific Northwest, mostly in the Seattle area, which was also true of the other book I’ve read by this author, Marked By Magic.  I suspect this is Lindsay Buroker’s stomping grounds.

 

    If you like your Fantasy reads to feature a wide variety of beasts and magical beings, you’ll enjoy Sinister Magic.  In addition to the ones mentioned above, there are werewolves and trolls, vampires and golems, a kraken and a manticore, and elves aplenty.  The human population is aware that some of magical critters are traipsing around in this world, although their numbers are grossly underestimated.

 

    The storyline is a nice break from the standard “gotta save the world” trope.  Val’s bounty-hunting efforts are temporarily supplanted by the need to find a cure for, and the cause of, her employer’s cancer.  Val is also undergoing therapy sessions with a shrink, which so far are having mixed results.  And now there’s a small matter of getting her jeep down from the top branches of a 40-foot tree.

 

   I loved the interaction between the two main protagonists—Val and a shape-shifting dragon nicknamed Zav.  Dragons usually get portrayed as evil creatures, but here Zav and Val both ethically “gray”.  Indeed, at one point they debate as to the proper handling of captured criminals.  Should they be incarcerated for rehabilitation purposes or summarily executed?  Guess who favors rehab.

 

    The ending is exciting, yet not over-the-top, and I liked that.  The main plotline are tied up, but some of the secondary ones, such as Val’s therapy and her relationship with Zav, are left open, presumably to encourage the reader to read the sequel, Battle Bond.  I have it on my Kindle, and I’m eager to read more of this series.

 

Kewlest New Word…

Obstreperous (adj.): noisy and difficult to control.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.5*/5, based on 9,676 ratings and 897 reviews.

    Goodreads: 4.12*/5, based on 11,611 ratings and 1,046 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    Nin returned with a brochure and several business cards.  “Please give these to Zoltan and let him know that if he needs any weapons made, or if any of his fellow vampires need them made, I can accommodate him.  Also, I am thinking of branching out into magical armor.”

    “If he doesn’t try to bite my neck the instant we meet, I’ll give these to him.”

    “Of course he will try to bite your neck.  You are the hated Mythic Murderer.  But please also give him my brochure as a favor to me.”  (pg. 132)

 

    “Here.”  I set the containers of bath beads down beside Zav’s foot.  “Throw some of those down when you get a chance.”  I backed away slowly, not wanting the dark elves to notice.  “And try to keep them distracted.  Keep saying arrogant things.”

    Zav looked over his shoulder, pinning me with his glare.  “I do not take orders from law-breaking mongrels who do not acknowledge the supremacy of dragons.”

    “Yeah, say stuff like that.”  I gave him a sarcastic thumbs-up.  “You’re a natural.”  (pg. 217)

 

Kindle Details…

    Sinister Magic presently sells for $0.99 at Amazon.  The next two books is this series cost the same amount; books 4-9 go for $4.99 apiece.  Books 1-3 are also available as a bundle, which inexplicably goes for $9.99 right now.  Lindsay Buroker has many other individual e-books and bundles for your Urban Fantasy reading pleasure.  The discrete books are generally in the $0.99-$4.99 range, the bundles are mostly priced at $9.99.

 

“You hatched backward from your egg, you one-winged gimp.”  (pg. 16)

    There’s a moderate amount of cussing in Sinister Magic; I noted just 14 instances in the first 25%.  An f-bomb made a later appearance.  I don’t recall any “adult situations” cropping up in the storyline, nor any typos.  Kudos to whoever does the editing for this book.

 

    I gather that this is not the first Lindsay Buroker series to feature Val.  The protagonist in the other book I’ve read by this author was Arwen Forester, so now I’m curious as to how many other books have Val in them.

 

    Val’s age is given as “40-ish”, and one Amazon reviewer had doubts about a middle-aged heroine being physically up to the challenges of crossing bounty-hunting paths with formidable magical critters.  But I think the answer to that is that Val’s blood is half-elven, and a 40-year-old elf is physically in her prime.

 

    Sinister Magic thoroughly entertained me  The action starts immediately, there’s plenty of thrills-&-spills, and the snarky banter definitely kept me turning the pages.  I highly recommend this book to anyone in the mood for a lighthearted Harry Dresden-type fantasy.

 

    9 Stars.  One last thing.  A one point, Val is forced to add some Epsom salts to the concoction she’s making.  She correctly recalls that the chemical name for the is Magnesium Sulfate.  CHEMISTRY comes to the rescue once again!

A Dragon, A Gargoyle, and A Faery Walk into a Pub - Lisa Barry & Nicole Dragonbeck

    2024; 299 pages.  Book 1 (out of 4) in the “Dragon and Gargoyle” series.  New Author(s)? : Yes and Yes.  Genres : Adventure Fantasy; Dragons & Mythical Creatures Fantasy; Witches.  Overall Rating: 6*/10.

 

    Meet Detective Aiden Moss.  Director Warren is mighty proud to have him on the Dublin, Ireland police force.  Moss always obeys department rules and regulations.  He loves to write up reports.  He happens to also be a dragon.

 

    Meet Aiden’s partner, Detective Torloch “Loch” Doyle.  He has a short temper and a sharp tongue.  Director Warren frequently has to write him up for breaking department rules and regulations.  He hates to write up reports.  He happens to also be a gargoyle.

 

    You might wonder how well these two dissimilar agents get along with each other.  They have their moments of mutual irritation, but they’ve made things work.  For several centuries.  It helps that they have a mutual source of annoyance.

 

    Meet Rudy.  He's a youthful faerie blessed with the magical gift of being able to materialize out of thin air.  Much to the mutual annoyance of Moss and Doyle.

 

What’s To Like...

    If you like your fantasy novels to have a bountiful selection of magical creatures, you’re going to love A Dragon, A Gargoyle, and A Faery Walk into a Pub.  Besides the three mentioned in the title, you’ll crosspaths with leprechauns, harpies, vampires, minotaurs, witches, sirens, something called a púca, and a bunch more.  There’s even a crossword puzzle-loving ogre.

 

    The storyline starts out straightforward.  There’s a new drug in town which has mind-numbing side effects.  Literally.  Victims of the drug smell of magic (well, actually of coriander) and our heroes are charged with tracking down its source.  Things quickly get a lot more complicated with powerful forces determined to thwart the efforts of our detective duo, no matter what.

 

    The use of profanity is refreshingly sparse; I only noted 8 instances in the first third of the book.  In most cases where a cussword is called for, a “milder variant” was used, including shite, feck, arse, bollox, and biatch, and as such, I didn't count those as cussing.  I thought this was a great innovation, which could be used by any authors writing lighthearted stories.

 

    The tale is told in the third-person POV, alternating between Aiden and Loch, with one exception.  That might sound confusing, but I thought it worked quite well here.  The world-building and character development were both done well, and the pacing was brisk, without any slow spots in the storytelling.

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Púca (n.) : a mischievous spirit, often depicted as a shape-shifting creature.

Others: Skeevy; (adj.); Craic (adj.).

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.3*/5, based on 84 ratings and 10 reviews.

    Goodreads: 4.13*/5, based on 82 ratings and 11 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    “Our clothes were stolen.”

    Claudine looked at them in shock.  “Stolen?”

    “Yep.  One minute they were there, when we came back they were gone,” Torloch shrugged, then smirked “I guess someone wanted a free show.”

    Claudine did not appear amused.  “Guys, that’s bad.  Really, really bad.”

    “Why?  Torloch looked confused.  “It’s just a pair of jeans.”

    “Intimate items—items that have touched your skin—can be used in spells.  Tracking spells, binding spells, concealing spells,” Claudine counted them off on her fingers.  “Love spells.”

    “That last one doesn’t sound too bad,” Torloch said.  (loc. 1193)

 

    “If any of this turns out to be intentionally misleading, we’ll come back and find you,” Torloch said as he skimmed the names.  “And if you aren’t here, we’ll hunt you down, and drag you by the ears out of whatever hole you’re hiding in.”

    “What my partner means to say is thank you for your assistance, we’ll be in touch if we need anything further,” Aiden said, grabbing the gargoyle’s arm and wheeling him away.

    “No, his partner didn’t mean to say any of that,” Torloch protested.  “Don’t put words in my mouth.”

    “I have to put words in your mouth, otherwise there’s too much room for your feet,” Aiden muttered back as they made their way to the door.  (loc. 1632)

 

Kindle Details…

    A Dragon, A Gargoyle, and A Faery Walk into a Pub sells for $4.99 right now at Amazon, as do the other three books in the series.  There are also several “holiday-themed” novellas related to, but not part of this series, all in the $0.99-$2.99 price range, plus one full-length Halloween-themed entry for $4.99.

 

“You do realize going to a pub and going to a pub to work are two very different things?”  (loc. 187)

    There a couple of things to quibble about.  First of all, typos abound.  A lot of them were punctuation slip-ups, plus things like diving/divining and this/his.  I was perplexed by several spelling inconsistencies, such as malarky/malarkey, fairie/faery, and Brennan/McBrennan.  These all fell into the “either way is correct category; but not both ways”.  Perhaps this is an inherent drawback of multiple authors, although good editing should catch these.

 

    The biggest issue was a ploy used in the ending, which I've never run into before.  There’s a whole chapter missing; and it’s the all-important climactic one.  At first I thought it was my faulty memory, from reading too late at night and all that.  Then I thought that somehow the printers and/or the conversion formatting process had waylaid it.

 

    But no, in the extras at the end of the book, an offer is made: “Want to know what really happened when Aiden torched the pub?  Click here to get the bonus chapter and jump onto our email list!”  Really?!

    I thought that closing with a cliffhanger ending was as low as one could get.  I stand corrected.

 

    6 Stars.  One last thing.  At one point a Latin phrase “in sanguine, vires et veritas” pops up.  The translation for it is: “strength and truth are in the blood”.  I suck at Latin.  Thank goodness for Google.

Marked By Magic - Lindsay Buroker

   2023; 337 pages.  Book 1 (out of 2) in the “Tracking Trouble” series.  New Author? : Yes.  Genres: Humorous Fantasy; Dragons; Urban Fantasy.  Overall Rating: 8*/10.

 

    Nobody likes dark elves.  Arwen Forester has her own particular reasons for hating them.  She has a spider tattoo on her arm to remind her of that.  You can see it on the book’s cover image.

 

    Arwen lives quietly on her father’s farm out in the sticks.  One day she is visited by an elf warrior who demands she tell him where to find the local dark elves.  He was rather uppity about the whole thing.

 

    The elf found Arwen by assuming the form of a dragon, and using a dragon’s heightened sense to locate her.  That means he’s probably a cross-breed: half-elf and half-dragon.

 

    Nobody likes half-breeds.  They even have a pejorative word for them: mongrels.  Arwen knows all about being called a mongrel.  She’s half human.

 

    And half dark-elf.

 

What’s To Like...

    Marked By Magic is set in the present-day Seattle area, with a particular focus on the suburb of Bellevue.  It reminded me of Jim Butcher’s Chicago setting for his Dresden Files series: a minority comprised of magical creatures living among the vastly more numerous humans, with some inevitable friction and strained interactions arising between the two groups.  The main difference is that Marked By Magic is lighter in tone than the Harry Dresden books; the mood is closer to Charlaine Harris’s Sookie Stackhouse series.

 

    The main plotline follows Arwen’s tense relationship with the elf-dragon Starblade.  Arwen, an expert tracker, initially agrees to hunt down the dark elves for him, but later accepts money from other parties to hunt down half-breed dragons.  Needless to say, this leads to trust issues for both protagonists.

 

    If you like your Urban Fantasy books to contain lots of magical critters (I do!), you’ll love this book.  Besides the standard mix of elves, dwarves, dragons, gnomes, and ogres; there are also 7-foot-tall trolls, half-orcs, kobolds, and even the rarely seen soul drykars and vampire jellyfish.  One immortal from the magical world gets mentioned here: the spider-demon Zagorwalek (try saying that name ten times real fast).  He, and other gods, don’t play a big part in this tale, but I wonder if that’s going to change as the series progresses.

 

    There's lots of adventure and intrigue to keep you turning the pages, but Lindsay Buroker also finds ways to mix in some insightful thoughts about prejudices against others, be they mongrels, magical species, or just anyone different than what we are.  I also was thrilled to learn that the game of chess is played by the fantasy-world folks, since I’ve been a chess devotee all my life.  But over there it’s called Thyslyar.

 

    The ending was suitably tense and exciting, with a couple of neat plot twists thrown in, by both the good guys and the baddies.  The Epilogue clears up the money-for-hire angle, as well as one that concerned coffee grounds (say what?!).  The Arwen/Starblade plot thread remains open, but hey, that’s what sequels are for.

 

Kewlest New Word…

Mycophile (n.): a devotee of mushrooms.

Others: Inimical (adj.).

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.6*/5, based on 1,416 ratings and 85 reviews.

    Goodreads: 4.57*/5, based on 850 ratings and 48 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    “Are these leaves?”  Amber plucked something out of [Arwen’s] hair.  “And twigs?  Didn’t you shower and wash this . . . nest this morning?”

    “I did shower.  But then I walked through the woods to Duvall so I could get a ride over here from Sigrid.”

    “Did you drag your hair along the trail?”  Shaking her head, Amber fished out another leaf and grabbed a brush and comb.

    “It wasn’t light yet, and the branches can claw at you.  There aren’t any direct trails, so sometimes I have to clear the way.”

    “With your head?”  (loc. 2512)

 

    Amber turned back and lifted a finger, but she paused when she spotted Arwen’s bare forearms.  The loose sleeves of the jumpsuit had fallen to her elbows.  Arwen jerked her hands down.

    “You got another weird tattoo?”  Amber gaped.  “What is that?  A dragon?”

    “Yes.  It was not by choice.”

    “What?  You were walking by a tattoo shop, and the artist pounced you with an ink gun?”

    “I . . . was walking inside a dragon’s lair, and he pounced.  With magic.”

    “What is wrong with your life?”

    “Recently, a lot.”  (pg. 2579)

 

Kindle Details…

    Marked By Magic presently sells for $0.99 at Amazon.  The sequel, Bound By Blood, is priced at $4.99.  The third book in the trilogy, Driven By Destiny, is due to be released on January 10, 2024.  Lindsay Buroker is a prolific writer of both Sci-Fi and Fantasy novels, available both as standalones and in bundles, and all reasonably priced, and occasionally offered at enticing discounts.

 

Out of the cranberry bog and into the pig wallow.  (loc. 1048)

    I couldn’t find much to quibble about in Marked By Magic.  There’s only a smattering of profanity (6 instances in the first 25%), and that helps keep the story’s tone light-hearted.  There are, however, a couple of “adult situations”, but those keep the story’s tone from becoming too juvenile.

 

    I only noted one typo, an Amber’s/Arwen’s mix-up, and even then, I only caught it when choosing the first excerpt for this review.  Whoever the editors were, they did a good job.

 

    Last, and least, Arwen apparently is a character in an earlier Lindsay Buroker Urban Fantasy series, who now gets to be the main protagonist in one.  There were a number of references to Arwen’s backstory, all of which were lost on me since this was my first book by this author.  But that’s not her fault, it’s mine for choosing a spin-off series.

 

    That’s all I can gripe about.  Marked By Magic was a literary treat for me, and a great introduction to an author I’ve been meaning to try for quite some time.  So if you’ve read all the Sookie Stackhouse books, and are looking for a similar type of world-setting, I highly recommend you give this one a try.

 

    8 Stars.  One last thing.  The brief mention of soil amendments strongly resonated with me.  My 45-year career as a chemist was with a company whose main line of products were soil amendments.  They’re the reason you and I aren’t starving despite huge amounts of farmland being turned into housing developments.

Razzmatazz - Christopher Moore

   2022; 390 pages.  Book 2 (out of 2) in the series “The Tales of Sammy Two-Toes”.  New Author? : No.  Genres : Pulp Fiction; American Historical Fiction; Fantasy; Humor.  Overall Rating : 8½*/10.

 

    It’s 1947 in San Francisco and folks in Chinatown are on edge.  Two women in the gay-club area have been killed, in separate attacks.  One was bludgeoned and dumped in the bay, the other was offed via an ice pick to the head.

 

    The San Francisco Police Department is of little or no help; they’re more interested in discouraging their fine citizens from frequently these disreputable clubs.  If murders are occurring at those places, well, just stay away.

 

    So a bartender there, Sammy “Two Toes” Tiffin, takes it upon himself to investigate the slayings, even though he doesn’t know the first thing about being a detective.  But one of his customers, an alcoholic geezer nicknamed Fitz, is an ex-cop, and Sammy is counting on getting some sage advice from him.

 

    And happily, the Chinese dragon that resides in Sammy’s head has also volunteered to help.

 

What’s To Like...

    Razzmatazz is the sequel to Christopher Moore’s 2020 novel Noir.  I wasn’t aware it was part of a series, and I haven’t read the first book.  Based on the above intro, you’d think this means Razzmatazz will be a murder-mystery, and it is, but having a dragon and an extraterrestrial as supporting characters introduces fantasy and mythological slants to the tale.  Then throw in lots of the author’s trademark wacky humor, and you end up with what for me read like a fine piece of pulp fiction.

 

    The book is written in both the first-person POV (usually Sammy’s, but occasionally the dragon’s or a friend of Sammy’s named Stilton), and the third-person (mostly the narrator, but at times other characters).  This switching around of the viewpoint might sound like it'd make things confusing, but it works smoothly.

 

    There are secondary plot threads that keep things moving at a brisk pace.  The dragon wants a statue retrieved, a maroon Packard keeps showing up, and no one knows what happened to the former police chief, but they're pretty sure Sammy had something to do with it. The setting is the greater San Francisco area, and takes place in two times – the “present-day” 1947, and the “flashback” 1906.  Yes, that’s the year the earthquake hit.  I liked the “feel” of the Bay Area depicted in those two eras, especially the focus given to how the Chinese and the gay sectors fared.

 

    I enjoyed the smattering of Chinese vocabulary woven into the story, including gwai-lo and jook.  I was bummed that I didn’t recall them from when I took Mandarin in college, but it turns out Cantonese expressions are used here.  The Chinese transliterations of place names was also neat; among them were: The Glorious Location of Various Weeds, Flowery Arbor Mountain Booth, and Tall House of Happy Snake and Noodle.

 

    Be sure to read the author’s Trigger Warning at the beginning of the book, as well as his Afterword at the book’s end, the latter being where Christopher Moore tells what led him to insert into the story a visit by 30 hookers to a place called The Sonoma Hospital for Feeble Minded Children for a Christmas celebration.  Moore also reveals which details in the book are factual and which he made up.  The police-enforced “Three Article Rule” was hilarious to me until I found out it was real.  Wiki it.

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Jamoke (n., slang) : an ordinary, unimpressive, or inept person.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.5*/5, based on 1,310 ratings and 82 reviews.

    Goodreads: 4.11*/5, based on 3,526 ratings and 484 reviews.

 

Things That Sound Dirty, But Aren’t…

    “Flapjacks and willies, slam ‘em in the screen door!”

 

Excerpts...

    “He lost his statue forty-one years ago and all of a sudden it’s worth two grand to get it back?”

    “No.  Getting his business back is worth two grand.  The dragon is for another guy, the Squid Kid.”

    “Moo Shoes, do not try to run that phonus bolognus inscrutable Eastern mystic game on me.  You are highly scrutable.  I can scrute both you mugs five out of six days a week.”  (loc. 843)

 

    “Sit,” said the big guy.  “Wait.”

    So we sat.  We waited.  A half hour went by.  An hour.  We saw not a soul.

    “Were we supposed to take a number?” Moo asked.

    I peeked into the other rooms.  No one.  I said, “A guy who used to come in the bar told me once that if you go in someplace and they don’t pay any attention to you, then start stealing stuff.  They’ll either start paying attention or you’ll have something for your time.”

    “Wise.  What business was that guy in?”

    “Thief, I think.”  (loc. 4102)

 

Kindle Details…

    Razzmatazz presently costs $14.99 at Amazon.  The other book in the series, Noir, will run you $14.49.  Christopher Moore has about 15 other e-books to offer, most of them in the price range of $10.99-$14.99.

 

“That broad could hear an ant fart in a hurricane.”  (loc. 1627)

    I’ve been a Christopher Moore fan for decades, so finding things to gripe about in Razzmatazz is difficult.  If you’re new to his works, be aware that an abundance of cusswords is the norm for him.  Here, I noted 35 of them in the first 10% of the text, more than half of which were f-bombs.  There were also a couple of rolls-in-the-hay and one of the characters is obsessed with carrying out a rather extreme form of birth control.

 

    Also, it must be said that this is not a whodunit.  Yes, Sammy does eventually suss out who’s killing the gays, but this comes in the last chapter as a “great reveal”, and is not due to dogged sleuthing.

 

    Some reviewers were disappointed that Razzmatazz was not up to the level of zaniness found in earlier Christopher Moore efforts.  They have a point, but I think a pulp fiction novel is inherently darker and less snarky than a humorous satire, and personally, I was impressed that Moore could switch so seamlessly to a new genre.

 

    Overall, Razzmatazz was both an enlightening and entertaining read for me, shining the spotlight upon a time and place that I’m not all that familiar with.  So if you’re looking for “Moore of the same” (pun intended) type of humor this author is renowned for, you might give this book a pass.  But if you want to see him expanding his literary horizons, which shows just how skilled of a writer he is, you’ll find a pleasant surprise.

 

    8½ Stars.  One closing teaser.  Uncle Ho can talk to, and listen to, animals.  Particularly to pigs and rats, whose advice can be quite useful.  He can also hear what dragons have to say, a talent which just might get him killed.  I love stories with talking animals.

Nothing But Blue Skies - Tom Holt

   2001; 317 pages.  New Author? : No.  Genre : British Humour; Humorous Fantasy.  Overall Rating : 7*/10.

 

    It rains a lot in England.  Most people believe the “official” explanations that it has to do with storm fronts, high- and low-pressure systems, global warming, and whatnot.

 

    Some freethinkers, otherwise known as conspiracy nuts, say they know the real cause: Weathermen.  Weathermen magically predict downpours, and storms inevitably follow.

 

    A few of those conspiracy nuts believe in an even deeper conspiracy: Dragons.  They say that dragons cause rainstorms when they get excited.  That sound like a bunch of hogwash to me.  But hey, maybe we can make it finally stop raining by forcing all those storm-causing weathermen to make nicer forecasts.

 

    After that, it'll be Nothing But Blue Skies.

 

What’s To Like...

    Nothing But Blue Skies is set in various locations in England, but all roads eventually lead to Canberra, Australia.  The book's written in English, not American, so besides the usual weird spellings, us Yanks have to suss out words and phrases such as skiving off, widdling, razzle, poxy, naff, and the mysterious acronym JCB.  As always, I loved this.

 

    The dragons have some unique features, such as being able to shapeshift into human and fish forms at will.  Alas, those apparently are the only body-switches they can make and there are certain limitations.  I had fun trying to figure out which characters are really humans and which ones are dragons in drag.

 

    As with any Tom Holt book, Nothing But Blue Skies has lots of absurdities, including Applied Metaphysics and Transdimensional Badminton and the organization Meteorologists Against Dragons.  You’ll learn the answer to “What made England great”, and there’s even a love triangle of sorts for those who like a bit of Romance mixed into the tales they read.

 

    The storyline switches around among three plot threads.  Karen, a dragon, is searching for her missing father; another dragon is stuck in a fishbowl (not a spoiler, see the cover image above); and two weathermen, Neville and Gordon, are debating with each other whether dragons are, or are not, responsible for the soggy weather.

 

    All the plotlines converge on a showdown ending.  You can see it coming, but Tom Holt infuses it with several surprises that startle both the reader and the main characters.  Things are resolved in a pleasing manner, albeit not a very exciting one.  Nothing But Blue Skies is a standalone novel, and AFAIK not related to any of Tom Holt’s other series.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.1/5 based on 84 ratings and 14 reviews.

    Goodreads: 3.73/5 based on 973 ratings and 39 reviews.

 

 

Excerpts...

    “Come on.  Or I’ll leave you here.”

    Gordon thought about it for a moment.  On one hand, he really didn’t like the thought of getting out of there because Neville had been able to decipher a secret access code using his third eye.  On the other hand . . . as the old adage goes, if you’re starving in the desert and a headless skeleton riding a winged fiery camel swoops down out of thin air and hands you a cheeseburger, eat the cheeseburger.

    “Coming,” he said.  (loc.2354)

 

    Imagine Manchester.  Sorry, had you just eaten?  Let’s try a gentler approach.  Imagine a place where it rains all the time.  Imagine a place where baths are for drying off in, where you fill a kettle by holding it out of the window for a second and a half, where the current in the gutters is strong enough to turn hydroelectric turbines, where they thought Waterworld was a documentary, where Noah fortunately didn’t send out his doves (or he’d be sailing yet), where even the privatised water companies can only manage to cause a hosepipe ban one year in three.  (loc. 3678)

 

Kindle Details…

    Nothing But Blue Skies sells for $3.99 at Amazon right now.   Tom Holt has more than a dozen other fantasy e-books for your reading pleasure, ranging in price from $2.99 to $9.99.  At times, he also uses the pseudonym of K.J. Parker to write his fantasy novels, but I haven’t yet read any of those to see just what the difference is.

 

“I’m a scientist, dammit.  Trying to bore me to death is like trying to drown a fish in water.”  (loc. 2134)

    There are some things to nitpick about in Nothing But Blue Skies.

 

    There’s a moderate amount of cussing: I noted 14 instances in the first 10% of the book.  There were also more typos than I expected in the e-book version: Bfore/Before, acidentally/accidentally, off/of, and the S’sssn/S’ssssn variations of the name of one of the dragons.  Autocorrect went nutso with that last one.

 

    Tom Holt’s writing is superb, as it always is; but the storytelling seemed to dawdle at times.  To be fair, I read this while traveling, so it’s possible my brain was a bit fried.

 

    Overall, the author’s literary skills save Nothing But Blue Skies.  There may be some slow spots, but at least the reader has Tom Holt’s witty writing to make this an enjoyable read.  If you’ve never read any of the author’s novels, don’t make this your introduction to him.  But veteran Holt fans will still find this a solid effort.

 

    7 Stars.  Nothing But Blue Skies was my twenty-second Tom Holt book, and I have find any of his novels boring.  I have a few more on my bookshelf/Kindle and Amazon informs me his next one, The Eight Reindeer of the Apocalypse, is due to be released this coming October.  I await it eagerly.