2022; 259 pages. Book 1 (out of 12) in the Dwarf Bounty Hunter
series. New Author(s)? : Yes and Yes. Genres : Urban Fantasy; Dwarves; Humorous
Fantasy. Overall Rating : 6*/10.
Let’s be clear. The dwarf Johnny Walker, bounty hunter par
excellence, has been retired for fifteen years, and has no intention of changing
that status. He lives in solitary life
in the Everglade Swamps of Florida, accompanied only by his two coonhounds, Rex
and Luther. Visitors are NOT encouraged.
He has good reason to shun the
bounty hunting vocation. Fifteen years
ago, his young daughter Dawn was brutally murdered during one of his jobs. He still grieves.
Now Agent Tommy Nelson, government
liaison to monsters and magicals, wants to coax Johnny into unretiring. He’s got a job that he thinks even Johnny
won’t refuse.
Three members of a family in
New York City have been brutally murdered, apparently in gangland fashion, and
a fourth member of the family, a daughter named Amanda, has been
kidnapped. And you can count on the
gangsters to kill her in a most painful manner.
And here’s the kicker.
Amanda is the same age as
Johnny’s daughter Dawn was when she was slain.
What’s To Like...
Go
Dwarf Yourself is the opening volume of a 12-book fantasy series by
co-authors Martha Carr and Michael Anderle.
To no one’s surprise, Johnny and his two coonhounds are talked into
taking the case presented above, along with an agent of the government’s Bounty
Hunter Division, Lisa Breyer.
Johnny has just invented a
pair of devices he calls “translating dog collars” which, when placed on Rex
and Luther, allows them to communicate with him. This instills a tinge of humor into this gritty Urban Fantasy, which I very much liked. Agent Breyer rapidly becomes a worthy member
of the bounty hunter team thanks to her half-elf lineage.
If you like it when there’s a
wide variety of magical creatures in your Urban Fantasy (and I do), you’re going to love Go Dwarf
Yourself. There are dwarves and
elves, wizards and witches, plus gnomes and shifters. And those are just the familiar species. The authors also conjure up Willens, Kilomeans, Azrakans, and Oricerans, none of which I was familiar with.
The first third of the book is
a bit slow-paced, although that’s probably unavoidable as there is
world-building to do. Johnny, his dogs, and
his new associate (Johnny gets
irritated when she refers herself a "partner") arrive in New York City in
search of information and contacts related to Amanda’s kidnapping. But once they get a couple of leads, the
pacing pick up nicely.
The ending is a two-stage
affair: the rescue of Amanda —hey, c’mon now; you know Johnny’s going to save
her—and what to do with her once she's been freed.
Johnny agrees to take on a second job for the Feds, which I confidently
predict will turn into eleven more jobs.
Kewlest New Word ...
Ruched (adj.)
: gathered into folds or pleats (as of clothes)
Ratings…
Amazon:
4.5/5
based on 1,961 ratings and 191 reviews.
Goodreads: 4.28/5 based on 1,355
ratings and 162 reviews.
Excerpts...
Johnny glanced at the witch, who was still
choking and holding her half-crushed throat.
A dark red light bloomed beneath her palms and he aimed the wizard’s gun
at her. “Whatever you’re tryin’ to do,
don’t.”
”Johnny,” Rex snapped at the shifter. “What do we do with this one?”
“I can take him,” Luther nodded. “He’s slow.”
“Keep him there for a sec.” He stepped toward the witch. “Can you talk?”
She sneered at him. “Boneblade’s gonna rip you apart!”
“That’s a yes.” (pg. 59)
“Check out the poodle,” Luther said. “Man, she’s lookin’ twice at me. Hot dog.”
“Don’t even try it with city types,
Luther. We’re country hounds. Doesn’t work.”
“The way she’s waggin’ her tail says
otherwise, brother.”
“Trust me.
I saw a documentary by that historian.
That, uh . . .that Walt Disney guy.
Lady and the Tramp." Rex
snorted as his brother barked at the poodle.
“That was the one exception, man.
Not gonna work for you.” (pg.
91)
Kindle Details…
Go
Dwarf Yourself currently sells for $5.99 at Amazon. The other eleven books in the series have
that price as well. Alternatively, you
can pick up this series in two 6-volume bundles, each of which costs $24.99
right now.
“False intelligence
doesn’t look good on you, but I suppose we all have to work with what we have.” (pg. 184)
I counted 39 instances of
cussing in the first 10% of Go Dwarf Yourself,
which I frankly thought was excessive.
The R-rated theme of children being sold into slavery is also present. In short, this is
not a book you want little Timmy or Susie to read.
It was fun to cross paths with
new magical beasties, but there was little or no describing of them. Perhaps that will be addressed in
subsequent stories. Some reviewers also
criticized the lack of backstory as to how our world came to be infested with
oodles of magicals, but that didn’t bother me.
The big problem was
the storytelling. It is devoid of twists,
and the combination of Johnny’s weaponry and Lisa’s spellcasting easily wins
all the fights, no matter how many evil baddies get thrown against them.
But maybe Go Dwarf Yourself
was simply meant to be an introductory tale to the series. Meet the recurring characters, get a glimpse
of the magic systems, and be prepared for greater challenges for Johnny and his
teammates as the series progresses. I’ve
got Book Two, Don’t Give A Dwarf, on my
Kindle. We’ll see if the baddies put up
more of a fight in that tale.
6 Stars. One last thing. Johnny Walker prefers his pizza “New York Style with Extra Pineapple”. So do I, Johnny, so do I.
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