Tuesday, March 17, 2026

Starship Ass - Of Donkeys, Gods, and Space Pirates - Ethan Freckleton and J.R. Frontera

    2019; 264 pages.  Book 1 (out of 3) in the “Starship Ass” series.  New Author(s)? : Yes, and yes.  Genres: Humorous Science Fiction, Space Opera.  Overall Rating : 8*/10.

 

    Say hello to Buddy.  He’s an ass.

 

    I don’t mean that in a crude way; Buddy’s a donkey.  And if you say hello to him, he’ll probably say it back to you.

 

    Well okay, Buddy won’t say hello to you; but Harry will.  Harry’s a symbiont tick that uses Buddy as a host animal.  If you’re unfamiliar with the word ‘symbiont’, its definition is given below.  In effect, Harry/Buddy is a talking ass.

 

    Is this confusing?  Don’t worry.  The crew of space pirates who are about to attack the starship that Harry and Buddy are on will also find it quite weird.

 

What’s To Like...

    The title says it all: Starship Ass – Of Donkeys, Gods, and Space Pirates features donkeys, humans (which donkeys would deem to be gods), and space pirates all making their entries into the storyline by 6% Kindle, along with a sentient starship computer named “Node”.

 

    The action starts immediately—the space pirates quickly take over the freighter starship and take inventory of their newly-won cargo.  Sadly, it’s a rather meager haul: mostly cows, chickens and other edible animals, whose resale value is diminished by the need to keep them fed until a carnivore market can be found.  But the talking ass might be the most valuable find, since there’s a “Running of the Donkey” contest coming up soon on the nearby planet Irrakis.

 

    I liked the character development of both the good guys and the baddies.  Each one has his, her, or its individual quirks and personality, and the moral difference between “law-enforcing” and “outlaw” is delightfully blurry.  The pacing is good and there’s plenty of wit and humor to chuckle over, thanks mostly to Harry trying to fathom the ways and words of humans.  For instance, the phrase “I’m going to make you a star” completely mystified our protagonist.

 

    I enjoyed the literary nod to David Foster Wallace’s Infinite Jest, and the television nod to Deep Space Nine.  The vocabulary inclusion of words like rickrolled and jonesin’ also made me smile.

 

    Tension builds as our motley crew of space pirates strive to stay one step ahead of the authorities and still compete for the prize money in the Donkey Race.  They are mostly successful, although one plot thread remains open, presumably to be resolved in the sequel, Starship Ass – Of Donkeys, Dogs, and Rogue Bits, which waits for my attention on my Kindle.

 

Kewlest New Word ...

    Symbiont (n.) : an organism living in symbiosis, which is a close and interactive relationship of organisms of different species.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.4/5 based on 188 ratings and 49 reviews.

    Goodreads: 4.25/5 based on 117 ratings and 35 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    Harry’s ears turned out sideways as he quickly got lost in the conversation.  But one word stood out as the strangest yet.  “Uckin’?”  He repeated the odd word.

    “Yarr,” answered Redbeard.  “The “F” is silent, cuz to say otherwise would be profane."  He paused to hurl a string of expletives that ended with “Uckin’ Feds” and spat.  (pg. 46)

 

    It was the strangest spaceship he’d ever seen . . . not that he’d seen many spaceships in his life.  But this one looked as if it had been constructed of pieces of other ships, all cobbled together to make one nonsensical whole.

    On top of that, instead of a dull gray hull like most spaceships had, it was painted a dizzying design in bright colors.  Antennas and radar dishes covered its uneven and patchwork surface.  In short, it looked like a hippie shack, if hippie shacks could fly in space.  (pg. 146)

 

Kindle Details…

    Starship Ass – Of Donkeys, Gods, and Space Pirates is presently FREE at Amazon.  The other two books go for $2.99 and $3.99 respectively.  I think this is a completed series.

 

Just focus on the job at hoof.  (pg. 62)

    The profanity in Starship Ass – Of Donkeys, Gods, and Space Pirates is moderate; I counted 10 instances in the first 20% of the book, a majority of which were of the eschatological variety.  Two cusswords were spellings in the “British Vulgar” ilk, which I always enjoy.

 

    The editing was good—just a couple of missing commas-in-dialogue, and a few typos such as feel/fell, fair/fare, etc.  Some reviewers were disappointed that there was no backstory as to how Harry/Buddy came to be on a spaceship bound for a meat-eating marketplace.  That’s a valid point, but see below.

 

    This is not an “epic sci-fi” tale; the good guys—as well as computers, droids, and ticks—live to see another day a pair of sequels.  I’d label this instead as a “beach read”, provided the beach is on the planet Dune or somewhere similar.  And within that context, I found this to be a fascinating, humorous, page-turning novel.

 

    8 Stars.  One last thing.  It turns out there is a prequel to this book, titled Starship Ass – Of Sporks, Overlords, and Moon Worms.  It’s written by the same authors and carried by Amazon in Kindle and Paperback formats., but for some unknown reason, is not listed as part of the Starship Ass series.

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