The Lord of the Ring Roads - Robert Rankin

    2017; 280 pages. Book 10 in “The Legendary Quadrilogy of Trilogies” series.  New Author? : No.  Genres : Humorous Absurdism; British Humour; Weird Fantasy.  Overall Rating : 8½*/10.

 

    Great news!  They’re going to build a ring road around the outskirts of Brentford!

 

    Greater news!  It won’t cost the residents of Brentford anything!  The neighborhoods surrounding their city, through which the ring road will actually run, will pay for everything!  The construction starts shortly!

 

    This is all news to Jim Pooley and John Omally, along with the rest of Brentford.  But since they’ll get something for nothing, it has to be a great deal, right?  Except that, really, Brentford doesn’t need a ring road.

 

    Which makes Jim and John wonder.  Who is actually pulling the strings to get this ring road built.  And more importantly, why?

 

What’s To Like...

    The Lord of the Ring Roads is Book 10 (out of 12) in Robert Rankin’s Brentford Trilogy series.  To be precise, it's Book One of the fourth trilogy in this series, and I’ve already read Books 2 & 3, The Chronicles of Banarnia and Normanghast.  If you haven’t read any of this trio, I advise starting with this one.

 

    The two main protagonists are Jim Pooley and John Omally, a pair of my favorite Robert Rankin characters.  Old Pete also plays a key role, so does Professor Slocombe.  The Lady in the Straw Hat has a cameo appearance, and Neville, the part-time bartender at The Flying Swan has a larger role than usual, which I loved.

 

    A bunch of plotlines besides the ring road project also crop up.  Will Old Pete get a badly needed hearing aid?  Why is Uncle Ted missing?  Can Jim and John make some easy money by managing a community raffle?  Will the royal family send a representative to the ring road opening ceremony?  And most importantly, can Jim and John apprehend a rogue author named P.P. Penrose, who is unlawfully using them as fictional characters in his books?  Sure, we know Robert Rankin will deftly bring all these plot threads together.  But it’s always fun to watch how marvelously he does it.

 

    The book is written in English, not American.  So you may have labourings and vigour, and use a biro to write a cheque.  Things can get  cosy, but keep your lorry fuelled up.  Do all this, and Bob’s your uncle.  To boot, Robert Rankin blends in some witty and whimsical poetry, as well as things like the Cagoule of Concealment, Bunson’s Necromunicator, and the Captain Laser Alien Attack Machine.

 

    The ending builds to a suitable climax, and stops at a logical spot, but leaves several plot threads unfinished.  Alas, that’s what I get for not reading the books of this trilogy in order.  Despite that, The Lord of the Ring Roads kept me turning the pages, wondering what plot twist was going to turn up next.

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Hobble-de-hoy (n.) : an awkward, ungainly, adolescent boy (British slang)

Others: Salmagundi (n.); Canescent (adj.).

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.4/5 based on 623 ratings and 50 reviews.

    Goodreads: 4.27/5 based on 395 ratings and 25 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    Then “ah,” said Jim and “ah” once more.  Yet another email from Goodwill Jeremy, the deposed Nigerian prince.  Jim really felt for this unlucky fellow, erstwhile ruler of a gold and diamond-rich province so exclusive that it was not to be found on any map.  Jim shook his head, and as for the prince himself, benign and generous ruler, ousted from his palace by mercenaries in the pay of an evil warlord.  And forced to flee without his cheque book.  (pg. 21)

 

    A lady in a straw hat overhearing this turned and asked Jim what the trouble was.

    “Oh, just things,” said Jim.

    “Things is it?” said the lady.  “Don’t start me off on things.”

    “I promise I won’t,” said Jim

    “I was darning my old man’s socks the other day,” the lady went on.  “And he was screaming away as he always does.”

    “Why?” Jim asked.

    “Well, because he was wearing the socks and I’m not such a dab hand with a needle as I used to be, so—"  (pg. 89)

 

Kindle Details…

    The Lord of the Ring Roads Kindle edition will cost you $4.99 at present.  The rest of the e-books in this (completed) “quadrilogy-of-trilogies” are all in the $2.99-$5.99 price range.  Most of Robert Rankin’s other e-book novels are in that same price range.

 

“We are all going to hell in a handbag.”  (pg. 250)

    There’s very little cussing in The Lord of the Ring Roads; I noted only four instances, all of which were of the milder, four-lettered variety.  I only spotted one typo: cannon/canon; but once again there were at least eight commas missing from recipients of direct dialogue.  I’d call this British punctuation, but most of the time the commas were present.

 

    The Lord of the Ring Roads is another fine piece of far-fetched fantasy penned by Robert Rankin.  Rumor has it, . . . erm . . . Rumour has it that the author is about to bring out a new book, titled Priestess of Penge.  I’m looking forward to it.

 

    8½ Stars.  One last thing.  At one point Bazooka Joe Bubble Gum is mentioned, which brought back fond childhood memories for one of the characters.  It did the same for me, Mr. Rankin, sir; it did the same for me.