The Wrath of Cons - Robert Kroese

   2018; 177 pages.  Book 4 (out of 4) in the “Starship Grifters” series.  New Author? : No.  Genre : Science Fiction; Spoof.  Overall Rating : 7*/10.

 

    Rex Nihilo unabashedly loves his job!  Of course, the fact that its potential payoffs are huge is just an added bonus.  Rex is a burglar/con artist, and he’s very good at it.  He’s often found working on several jobs simultaneously.

 

    There are claims that Rex is the greatest shyster in the galaxy.  Okay, most of those claims were made by Rex himself, but no one is arguing with him.  Alas, there’s now another contender for that title.  Some people call him “The Unpinchable Hannibal Pritchett", others call him “PP”, which is short for another moniker he likes to use: “the Platinum Pigeon”.

 

    Hannibal Pritchett has just stolen the most sought-after secret in the Universe, something called “the Shiva Plans”, from the most powerful bad guy in the Universe, The Malarchian Primate, who wants them back.  Move over, Rex, there’s a new top-tier shyster in town.  Maybe you could steal those plans back.  You could get in good graces with the Malarchians and eliminate your top rival at the same time.

 

    Or even better, maybe you can scam all of them.

 

What’s To Like...

    The Wrath of Cons is the fourth installment (but also sometimes listed as “Book Three” because there’s a “Book Zero”) in Robert Kroese’s superb sci-fi spoof “Rex Nihilo Adventures” series, which is sometimes also called the “Starship Grifters Universe” series.  The story is told from the first-person POV, that of “Sasha”, Rex’s girl-Friday, moral compass, and a robot, since her name is an acronym for Self-Arresting near-Sentient Heuristic Android. 

 

    Acronyms are just one of many recurring witticisms in this series, with other examples being APPLE, GASP, AGNES, NARATR, and my favorite, SHAMBLERS.  You can find out what those all stand for, as well as the contraction “Sp’ossels”, by reading this book.  The mangling of names is another recurring theme; in earlier books Rex came up with oodles of variations for “Sasha”, here the “Platinum Pigeon” is repeatedly and hilariously abused.

 

    I enjoyed the literary nods to The Wizard of Oz, Alice in Wonderland, the Brontë sisters, and Dune.  The phenomenon known as the “Wandering Wornhole” (aka “the double double-U”) was a nice touch to the story.  There are lots of alien races and evil groups to meet and run away from, a half-dozen planets to try not to die on, plus all sorts of sci-fi geeky tools and weapons to learn to use.

 

    Robert Kroese comes up with lots of plotlines to keep the reader’s interest and whet Rex’s appetite for greed.  Those Shiva Plans aren’t the only document worth stealing, there are goods ranging from zontonium to suddenly-inhabitable planets to fence, a lifeless planet (Earth) to eschew, that conniving rival con artist to dispose of (or ally with if you can’t beat him), some Wizard-of-Oz-ish “gifts” to request for someone or something called “The Narrator”, and if you’re Sasha, sentience rights for all robots to strive for.

 

    There’s only a smattering of cussing (14 times in the first 50%) in the book, and no adult situations that I recall.  Most of the cussing situations are handled via LOL phrases such as “lying skorf-rat”, “duplicitous flaffle-herder”, “blamp-turfer”, and “for Space’s sake”.  I loved those!

 

    The ending is good; albeit a bit over-the-top, but that’s okay in a genre like this.  It leaves the door open for further adventures in this series, but I doubt that will happen.  More on this in a bit.  The Wrath of Cons is both a standalone novel as well as part of a series.  I’ve been reading the stories in publication order (Book 1, Book 2, Book Zero, Book Three), but that probably isn’t necessary.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.5/5 based on 63 ratings and 32 reviews.

    Goodreads: 4.12/5 based on 184 ratings and 21 reviews

 

Excerpts...

    “Sasha,” Rex said, “most men lead lives of quiet desperation.  But not us.  You know why?  Because we were born for greater things.”

    “I wasn’t born at all, sir.”

    “Manufactured, then.  Don’t interrupt me.”

    “Yes, sir.”

    “We were born and/or manufactured for greater things.  We have a purpose.  A destiny.  And nothing can keep us from that destiny, Sasha.  Not even jelly donuts with sprinkles, as delicious as those may be.  (loc. 141)

 

    After staring at the cave wall for a while, he opened and closed his mouth several times, smacking his lips together loudly, and then said, “My mouth tastes like a Valorkkian muck-beast’s back side.  Sasha, what did I tell you about letting me drink more than five shots of Ragulian whiskey?”

    For a moment I was too stunned to reply.  The others were all frozen, staring at Rex.

    “Not to, sir,” I managed at last.  “Sir, are you okay?  Are you really back?”

    “Back from where?” he said, looking around the cave.  “Space, I could use a drink.  Sasha, pour me six shots of Ragulian whiskey.”  (loc. 3483)

 

Kindle Details…

    The Wrath of Cons presently goes for $4.99 at Amazon, as do the other three books in the series.  Robert Kroese has three dozen or so other e-books for your reading pleasure, the majority of which are in fantasy/sci-fi series, and none of which I’ve yet read.  They range in price from $0.99 to $13.99.

 

“Chimps rule, humans drool.”  (loc. 1163)

    Like the other books in this series, The Wrath of Cons is a fast, light, fun read where the focus is first and foremost on spoofery and entertainment, not things like character development and storyline continuity.

 

    Hence my only quibble with the book is the way the plot threads were handled.  When you look at the half-dozen or more plotlines listed earlier, none of them get resolved in the book.  Even the “con artist competition” which the title alludes to.

 

    I suspect that Robert Kroese originally planned to tackle these in the next book, but that’s never happened.  The Wrath of Cons was published 3½ years ago (October 2018), since then the author has been concentrating on a “cranky libertarian sci-fi series” (his words, not mine) called “Mammon”.  So far, he’s published two novels in it, plus a short story collection, with the third novel due out any day now.

 

    Sadly, I think this means we’ve seen the last of Rex and Sasha.

 

    7 Stars.  My quibble should not be misconstrued as a red flag.  When watching a Three Stooges skit, we don’t complain that the characters are shallow and the storyline is full of holes.  We just sit back and allow ourselves to be amused and entertained.  And in that respect, The Wrath of Cons succeeds nicely.