The Chronicles of Banarnia - Robert Rankin

    2019; 284 pages.  Book 2 of the "Final Brentford Trilogy" series.  New Author? : No.  Genre : Absurdism; British Humour; Far Fetched Fantasy.  Overall Rating : 8*/10.

    “Brentford is under attack.  From a race of beings that most would consider imaginary.  Namely, the fairy folk.”

    Thus spoke Professor Slocombe to his three guests, Julian Adams (aka “the Goodwill Giant”), Jim Pooley and John Omalley (aka “Jim Polly” and John “O’Mary” when they’re getting in touch with their feminine side).

    The fairies’ war plan was diabolically simple.  One night they installed a huge, magic "fairy ring” disguised as a ring-road around Brentford.  No one gets in, no one gets out.  And now the good citizens of Brentford find that Time has reversed itself and with each day they’re moving back towards 1796.

    Why that particular year?  That’s when a major battle was fought between the Fairies and us humans; we who the fairies scornfully refer to as “the Sons of the Simian”.  We won; and the fairies ever since have been relegated to the underground.  The Earth is hollow, you know.

    Now they’re back, and spoiling for a replay of that 1796 battle, and this time they intend to win.  And wipe out every Son of the Simian from the face of the Earth.

What’s To Like...

    The Chronicles of Banarnia is the second book in Robert Rankin’s The Final Brentford Trilogy series.  I haven’t read the first book (The Lord of the Ring Road), so I appreciated that the first chapter here gives a brief backstory.  I haven't read any of C.S. Lewis’s Narnia books either, so I can’t say how much this parodies that series.

    The main plotline features various Brentfordians attempting in various ways to thwart the fairies’ plans.  Some head underground to carry the fighting to Banarnia; others seek to avenge the only casualty in the war so far: “Old Pete” who was done in by a fairy operative nicknamed Dundledots.  Most of these efforts soon go awry, with a number of our heroes getting captured along the way.  The fun is watching the mayhem that ensues.

    This is vintage Robert Rankin, with a slew of his recurring gags showing up: “talking the toot”, alliterative paragraphs (see the excerpt below), lots of wittily-named pubs and booze, and my personal favorite, the lady in the straw hat.  The mystical fighting art of Dimac and Barry the Sprout are missing, but we can live with that.

    The pacing is brisk; there are all sorts of new characters to meet (including the charming, literary-talented P.P. Penrose), and Robert Rankin’s patented wit (which is the main reason I'm hooked on his books) abounds.  The text bounces around from one hero's tale to another's (almost always via a clever segue), yet the storyline is remarkably easy to follow.  The Chronicles of Banarnia is written in English, not American, so you can endeavour to reconnoitre, and be knackered in your leathern attire.

    There are always loads of trivia references in a Robert Rankin book, here they include nods to several other writers in the Fantasy genre.  The musical nods range from Donovan to Adam Ant to Napalm Death, and I was left yearning to hear the song “Werewolves of Wimbledon”.  I also liked the historical mentions of Rorke’s Drift, the Lords of Misrule, and the artists Caravaggio and Hieronymus Bosch.

    The ending is skillfully contrived, twisty, and surprisingly exciting.  Have fun trying to guess which character ultimately turns the tide of battle.  The main plotline – the skullduggery of the fairies – is seemingly resolved, despite this being the second book in a trilogy.  But it should be noted that Robert Rankin considers the proper number of books in a trilogy to be anything other than “three”.

Kewlest New Word...

Mooncalf (n.) : a foolish person (archaic)

Others : Charabanc (n.); Bonce (n.); Toff (n.); Cagoule (n.).

Excerpts...

    This bar did have a certain p-ness about it.

    Patrons perched on pub stools, purveying pump room patter to their peers.  Pinstriped personages perorated with peerless production.  Pints a plenty poured and a pianist named Percy plonked poignantly upon a pink piano.

    “Perfect,” said Omally, “Simply perfect.”

    The three travellers approached the pub counter.  From behind this a plump publican, perused them through a puce and purple peeper.

    “A prial of peregrinators,” he said.  “Welcome to the Pflying Pig.”  (loc. 3092)

    “Where is Jim Pooley?  Bring him to me now.”

    John Omally raised a hand.  “Just why do you want Jim Pooley?”

   “I have come to make him rich.  I am Prince Goodwill Jeremy from Nigeria.  Good friend Pooley helped me when I was without funds and now I am here to reward him.”

    Jim Pooley rose with a smile.  “I am Jim Pooley,” he said.

    Old Pete raised his walking stick.  “I am Jim Pooley,” said he.

    “No, I am Jim Pooley,” said John Omally.

    “I am too,” said Norman.

    “And I an’ I,” said Leo.  (loc. 6809)

Kindle Details...

    The Chronicles of Banarnia sells for $7.99 right now at Amazon, as does the other book in the series, The Lord of the Ring Roads.  Other e-books by Robert Rankin are priced in the $0.99-$7.99 range, with most of them either $3.99 or $6.99.

“There’s more than one way to pickle a beetroot and make it fink it’s an apple.”  (loc. 5354)

    The Chronicles of Banarnia is a typical Robert Rankin offering, but I recognize that can be a plus or a minus.  If you’re yearning for a new literary direction from this author, and he’s penned a slew of novels that do just that, you might be disappointed.  OTOH, if you were wishing he’d stick with the tried-&-true, you’ll be delighted with this one.  I was.

    The final chapter gives an epilogue-like recap of where everyone in the story ends up, which in turn closes with a teaser hinting that there might be at least one more book in the series, possibly titled Normanghast.  If you follow Robert Rankin on Facebook (as I do), you’ll know that 2019 was both a busy year (working on an all-illustrations book) and one with a few health issues.  Here’s hoping that 2020 turns out to be a fantastic year for him, and that we haven’t seen the last of Jim Pooley, John Omally, and Barry the Holy Guardian Sprout.

    8 Stars.  Add 1 Star if you read The Lord of the Ring Roads first.  You’ll undoubtedly get more out of the book than I did, but I still found it a satisfying read.