The Buntline Special - Mike Resnick

   2010; 295 pages.  Book 1 (out of 4) in the “Weird West Tale” series.  New Author? : No.  Genres : Steampunki; Alternate History; Western.  Overall Rating: 7*/10.

 

    It’s the 1880s Old West in a parallel universe, one where the western boundary of the United States is the Mississippi River.  The lands to the west of there are controlled by the Apache medicine man, "Geronimo", aka “Goyathlay”, and his Cheyenne counterpart, "Hook Nose", aka “Que Sul-La”.  Together, they weave powerful magic that keeps the White man from invading their lands.

 

    The exclusion of the Americans from Indian territories is not absolute.  A few towns and cities are allowed; they promote trade and cooperation between the two empires.  One of these is Tombstone, Arizona.

 

    As is true in our dimension, this alternate Tombstone seems to attract both the best and the worst breeds of gunslingers.  Wyatt Earp is the marshal there; his brothers are his deputies and Bat Masterson is one of his allies.  On the “black hat” side is the infamous Clanton clan and the McLaury brothers.  Into this tense stand-off rides the gunman who can gives the Earps the upper hand.

 

    Doc Holliday.

 

What’s To Like...

    The Buntline Special is the reimagining of the Gunfight at the O.K. Corral in a steampunk world.  In addition to the historically accurate participants, Mike Resnick includes others who were bystanders, such as Kate Elder, plus some interesting persons that weren’t there, such as Thomas Edison and Ned Buntline.  But there is no doubt that the main protagonist of the tale is Don Holliday.

 

    The presence of Edison allows for some marvelous inventions to come into play.  Things such as electric stagecoaches, lie detector machines, fluoroscopes, a super-hardened brass alloy, and, possibly the most intriguing one of all: robotic hookers.  Magic also figures into the storyline (useful hint: do NOT piss off a Native American medicine man!), and a couple of paranormal creatures are added to make things interesting.

 

    For the most part, the story is set in Arizona, in the greater Tombstone area.  The book includes five drawings strewn throughout the text; I thought they were a marvelous addition.  Since I’ve lived in Arizona for quite a while, it was neat to see one of our lesser-known tribes, the Hualopai, play a part in the story.

 

    There are some nifty “bonus sections” at the end of the book, including a Bibliography, a historical news article about the O.K. Corral gunfight, a Cast of Characters, and an “About the Author”.  The text abounds in witty dialogue, ingenious contraptions invented by Edison and manufactured by Buntline, and the goings-on at the bawdy house.

    The O.K. Corral gunfight is the highlight of the book.  But it’s not the “final ending”; there’s another 50 pagers after that happens, mostly resolving the paranormal challenges of the plotline.  All the plot threads get tied up, and if this adventure tickles your fancy, there are three more books in the series . 

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.2*/5, based on 88 ratings and 48 reviews.

    Goodreads: 3.49*/5, based on 1,334 ratings and 210 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    “Geronimo wants to know who he is facing.” said Obidiah.

    “Bat Masterson and John Henry Holliday,” replied Holliday.

    “Doc Holliday?”

    “The very same.”

    Obidiah turned to Geronimo and spoke to him in the latter’s native tongue.  Geronimo stared at Holliday and then said something to Obadiah.

    “He wants to know if you really killed seven men in a card game in Mexico.”

    “Probably not,” answered Holliday.  (pg. 55)

 

    “I don’t like you much, Holliday,” said Frank.

    “Well, you have that in common with a lot of other men,” said Holliday easily.

    “Oh? Sounds like they’d be interesting men to know.”  He looked around the saloon.  “Where are they?”

    “Buried in graveyards from here to Texas,” said Holliday.  “And a few in Colorado, just for good measure.”

    “You don’t make friends real easy, do you?” said Tom.

    “Let’s just say I’m choosy.”  (pg. 224)

 

“The government didn’t ask for me because of my winning smile.”  (pg. 34)

    There’s a small amount of profanity in The Buntline Special.  I noted ten instances in the first 10%, all of which were the mild epithets involving hell and damn.  Later on, there are a couple of f-bombs, an excretory product, and an SOB.

 

    My bigger criticism of The Buntline Special is with the pacing.  Far too many pages are devoted to discussing Doc Holliday’s terminal illness: tuberculosis, or as it was called in those days “consumption”.  Ditto for the repartee between the White Hats and Black Hats.  One of the baddies, Johnny Ringo, has it in for Doc, and a lot of ink is expended on those two taunting each other.  Bat Masterson’s sudden handicap, which we’ll not detail here, also is drawn out far too long.  On the other hand, the part I found really interesting, the roles played by the Native Americans, is given short shrift.

 

    Despite all this, The Buntline Special kept my interest, as did Book Two of this series, The Doctor and The Kid, which I read seven years ago, and is reviewed here.  I attribute that Mike Resnick’s writing and storytelling skills.  Book Four, The Doctor and the Dinosaurs, is on my TBR shelf.  I can’t wait to see how Resnick works T-Rex into this storyline.

 

    7 Stars.  Add ½ Star if you read this series in its proper order.  I have a feeling I should’ve done that.

The Doctor and the Kid - Mike Resnick

   2011; 323 pages.  Book 2 (out of four) of the “Weird West Tales” series.   New Author? : Yes.  Genres : Steampunk; Western; Alternate History.  Overall Rating : 7*/10.

    There are so many things that are different in this Alternate History of the Old West.  Unfortunately for Doc Holliday, his terminal illness – tuberculosis, or as they called it back then “consumption” – is not one of them.  He has a year or so to live, if he’s lucky, and he’d like to spend his final days in peace at a sanitarium in Colorado.

    That takes money, something which he doesn’t have much of anymore, thanks to one of his vices, gambling.  Ah, but there’s a $10,000 bounty on Billy The Kid, dead or alive, which is more than enough to cover the sanitarium costs.  And Doc’s a retired (or so he says) gunslinger.

    But Billy The Kid’s mighty fast on the trigger, and some say he can even outdraw Doc.  To boot, there are rumors that he’s protected by some medicine man magic that renders all weapons used against him useless.

    Maybe it’s time for Doc Holliday to get some magic of his own.  And who better to seek out and ask for it than that great inventor, Tom Edison?

What’s To Like...

    I liked the world-building.  In this alternate timeline, the US Army is prevented from crossing the Mississippi River due to the powerful magic spells laid down by two Native American medicine men, Geronimo and Hook Nose.  Some towns apparently are allowed – among them Tombstone, Denver, Leadville (Colorado), and Lincoln (New Mexico).  But nary a single soldier can cross over.

    Mike Resnick likes to namedrop, and I mean that in a positive way.  So in addition to the O.K. Corral boys: Doc Holliday and Wyatt Earp, we meet Oscar Wilde, Susan B. Anthony, Billy the Kid, Sheriff Part Garrett, Geronimo, Kate Elder, Ned Buntline, and Thomas “Tom” Edison.  Those last two are buddies of our protagonist, Doc Holiday.

    This is also a steampunk novel.  Think The Wild, Wild West – either the old TV series, or the more-recent movie version.  Tom Edison and Ned Buntline supply a bunch of really neat inventions, among which are robotic bartenders, horseless stagecoaches, monorails, robotic cooks, tasers, and last but not least, robotic hookers.  I’m not quite sure how the latter work, but customer satisfaction is high.

    There are some kewl drawings scattered throughout the book, which I really liked.  There is some cussing, which is certainly realistic, but I didn’t think was absolutely necessary.  More on that in a moment.  There are also five appendices in the back, to wit: a list of “further reading”, movie stars who played played the various characters we meet in the book, some brief, “non-alternate” biographies of the main characters, an account by Pat Garrett concerning Billy the Kid’s  escape, and an account by Bat Masterson about his acquaintance with Doc Holliday.  Of the five, I liked the biographies one the best.

    The ending is okay, but not very twisty.  Doc squares off against Billy the Kid; and Geronimo and Hook Nose do the same.  This is a standalone novel, as well as part of a series.

Excerpts...

    “Are you the notorious Doc Holliday?” asked the man.

    Holliday checked to make sure the man was unarmed.  “I am,” he replied.

    The man extended a hand.  “I am the notorious Oscar Wilde.  I wonder if I might join you?”

    Holliday shrugged.  “Suit yourself.”

    Wilde sat down opposite him.  “I didn’t see you at my lecture last night.”

    “Good.”

    “Good?” repeated Wilde, arching an eyebrow.

    “It means you’re not hallucinating.”  (loc. 57)

    “Let me see if I’ve got this straight,” he said.  “All I have to do is destroy men and buildings that are impervious to arrows, bullets, cannonballs and fire, and in exchange for that, a sick, dying man gets to face the greatest killer in the West on even terms, is that your offer?”

    “That is my offer.”

    “Give me a minute to think about it,” said Holliday, staring down at the ground.  (loc. 692)

Kindle Details...

    The Doctor and the Kid sells for $9.99 at Amazon right now.  The other three books in the series all go for that price as well.  Mike Resnick has been writing Sci-Fi stories for a long time, sometimes alone, sometimes as a co-author, and sometimes as a contributor of short stories for sci-fi anthologies.  So there are a slew of e-books at Amazon that bear his name, usually in the $0.99-$9.99 spectrum.

 “(T)he next argument I win with a woman will be the first.”  (loc. 2487)

    The Doctor and the Kid isn’t perfect.  There are some annoyingly repetitive themes, such as Doc reminding everybody that he’s terminally ill, everybody wanting to hear him tell about the gunfight at the O.K. Corral, and Billy the Kid mentioning to Doc how much he likes him.

    Also, while there’s an adequate amount of action, the plotline itself doesn’t progress much.  For most of the book, Doc keeps tabs on Billy, and Edison tries to figure out how to combat the medicine man magic.  The “Science vs. Magic” theme may be realistic: keep trying ideas until one of them works, but in a storyline, it makes for a lot of spinning of one’s wheels.

    I was confused as to the target audience.  The story was simplistic enough to make me think it was aimed at teenage boys, but then why have all the cussing?  Finally, for all the kewl appendices, why not also have one with a map of the settings?

    7 Stars.  Don’t get me wrong, The Doctor and the Kid was still an enjoyable read, and part of my problems with it may be the fact that I didn’t realize it was book 2 of a series.  I struggled to understand the details of the alternate history, and perhaps all this was already given in the first book, The Buntline Special.  I’ve added that to my TBR shelf (which has a couple hundred other books), and will probably read it in the next few months.

Alternate Warriors - edited by Mike Resnick

1993; 434 pages. Book #3 of Resnick's "Alternate Anthologies" series. Genre : Alternate History. Overall Rating : C- (below average, but manly).
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This is a "what if" book. Mike Resnick asks a bunch of writers to take any historical person of reason or peace, and examine what would've happened if they had said, "the heck with turning the other cheek, I'm gonna kick some butt!"
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What's To Like...
It's Alternate History, and that's a plus. There are 29 stories all told, which is about double what you get in most anthologies. The ubiquitous Esther Friesner is here. So is Mercedes Lackey, whose books I like. I also met five noteworthy historical figures that I had never heard of.
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The Best of the Bunch...
Jane's Fighting Ships. Esther Friesner's contribution. Jane Austen teams up with Davy Crockett to strike a blow against Napoleon in French-occupied England. Wow.
Sam Clemens and the Notable Mare, by Mel White. Told with a Twainsian style of humor.
The Firebringers. An all-star cast of 40's Hollywood legends are the flight crew on a plane slated to drop the first atomic bomb. Destination : Berlin.
Queen of Asia. Sisygambis (who?) rallies the Persians to defeat Alexander the Great. Probably my favorite story in the book.
The Arrival of Truth. Kind of a Toni Morrison "Beloved" story, but only 25 pages long.
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The whole list of bloodthirsty characters..."(*)" indicates somebody new to me.
Julius Nyerere (*); Jane Austen; Martin Luther King; Gandhi; Frederico Garcia Lorca (*); Pope John Paul 1; King Tut's wife; Susan B. Anthony; Mother Teresa; Lawrence of Arabia; Mark Twain; St. Francis of Assisi; Leonard Bernstein; 40's Hollywood actors; Albert Schweitzer; Sisygambis (*); Moses; Marilyn Monroe; Thomas Beckett; Albert Einstein; Stephen Hawking; Tecumseh (kinda); Pope John XXIII; Neville Chamberlain; Sidney Reilly (*); Jesus; Martin Luther King (again); Jules Verne; Sojourner Truth (*).
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Aspirations of Mediocrity...
I had very low expectations for this book, and it lived down to them. Other than the "best" stories listed above, this was a pretty boring read. Some of the tales were silly, such as Albert Schweitzer playing Tarzan. Quite a few were banal - Martin Luther King or Gandhi or a Pope picks up a gun and goes postal. Yawn.
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In the end, I think the main problem was the theme itself, not the authors. Alternate History cannot be propely done in 10-15 pages. Here's an example.
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Sisygambis, the original cougar, outmaneuvers the invading Greeks, saves Persia, captures Alexander the Great, and History takes a different fork in the road. Fine. Alas, our story ends there. What we really want to know is how Western Civilization would then have been changed. And that isn't addressed.
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There is a lot of good Alt-History out there, and I kinda figured this would pale in comparison. I can't recommend Alternate Warriors, but I give it a C- because at least a couple of the stories held my attention. For the most part though, it was boring. Only my OCD made me finish it.
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In closing we'll leave you with this Photoshopped image of our previous Pope, just oozing with machismo. For an appreciation of the Alternate Warriors task, go ahead and try to write an interesting short story about John Paul II in this alternate persona. I have a feeling it won't be easy.