Starter Villain - John Scalzi

    2023; 268 pages.  New Author? : No.  Genres : Humorous Science Fiction; Genetic Engineering; Intrigue-Satire.  Overall Rating: 8*/10.

 

    Uncle Jake has died!

 

    That means little to his nephew, Charlie Fitzer.  Uncle Jake had had nothing to do with the rest of the Fitzer family for the last few years.

 

    But Uncle Jake was very rich—he owned the third largest corporation that managed parking structures throughout the world.  And the lower class Fitzers were not worthy of his presence.

 

    So it was a bit surprising when one of his employees, Mathilda Morrison, called Charlie and asked if he would oversee Uncle Jake’s funeral service.  Which he agreed to do, since Uncle Jake apparently had no family.  And initially, things went smoothly at the funeral service.

 

    Until one of the guests took out a knife and started stabbing Uncle Jake’s corpse.

 

What’s To Like...

    Starter Villain is a standalone novel that is equal parts science-fiction, intrigue, and satire.  It’s not a spoiler to reveal that Uncle Jake also was part of a “Supervillain Cartel”, into which Charlie might be invited as a replacement, provided he proves himself worthy and willing.

 

    This might sound like a bum deal, but Charlie is a divorced, part-time substitute teacher, and lives from paycheck to paycheck.  His roommate is a pet cat.  It might be a good career move for Charlie to become a "starter villain".  Besides, “Hero” and “Villain” are relative terms.  What one person might call a crime, another might call an opportunity!

 

    Only John Scalzi would take a standard thriller storyline like that and blend a genetic engineering plot thread into it.  Thus we encounter typewriting cats; unionizing, smart-alecky dolphins; and sentient whales of questionable loyalty.  That may sound wacky, but Scalzi makes it work hilariously well.

 

    The “villain” aspect of the tale is also masterfully done.  The classic “Honor among thieves” adage doesn’t apply if there’s money to be made by double-dealing.  And the higher up the crime corporation ladder you are, the greater the odds that other crime boxes will conspire to take you down by taking you out.

 

    The ending is suitably exciting, over-the-top, and comes with several plot twists that I didn’t foresee.  The last chapter is an epilogue that ties up several plot threads.  Things close with a bonus short story that reveals "what happens after" with one of the main characters.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.5*/5, based on 15,847 ratings and 999 reviews.

    Goodreads: 4.11*/5, based on 105,255 ratings and 16,311 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    “Being a villain,” I said.

    “I told you, we don’t use that word in public.”

    “I don’t see why not.  It’s a perfectly good word.”

    “For public use it’s reductive,” Morrison said.  “Privately it offers some advantages.  Which you will be finding out soon.  But you won’t be doing much villainy anyway.  You’re needed for something else entirely.”

    I nodded.  “Useful idiot.”

    “I was going to say ‘administration.’”  (pg. 74)

 

    “Let’s start with what you call yourself,” I suggested.

    The dolphin chittered, and there was silence from the voice box.  “It doesn’t translate,” the dolphin said.  “It derives from hydrological states of water humans don’t experience directly and don’t have simple words for.  It would be something like ‘the one who can find a pure thread of water through the murk of an alluvial discharge into a bay.’”

    “You could go by ‘Ally’ for short,” I said.

    “Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you were asking me my name, not trying to figure out something short and infantilizing that you could call me.”  (pg. 112)

 

Kindle Details…

    The Kindle version of Starter Villain presently costs $11.99 at Amazon.  John Scalzi has several dozen other e-books for you, almost all of them in the Sci-Fi genre.  They generally are priced in the $4.99-to-$14.99 range.  He also offers several sci-fi short stories; those are mostly in the free-to-$2.99 range.

 

“Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.”  (pg. 165)

    The cussing in Starter Villain is moderate.  I noted 48 instances in the first half of the book, with f-bombs being the favorite cussword.  Later on, the waving of male genitalia is mentioned.  Meanwhile, the dolphins have coined their own disparaging phrases, such as f*cknugget, scrotemonkey, and bourgeois fistula.  I am in awe of their epithet inventing.

 

    I can’t think of anything else to nitpick about.  The pacing was good, there were plenty of plot twists, the blend of humor and intrigue was spot-on, and the genetic engineering and situational business ethics aspects give you something to muse about.  Sadly, I don’t think John Scalzi has any plans to develop this into a series.

 

    8 Stars.  One last thing.  At one point Rutgers University is mockingly referred to as the “Big Ten Doormat”.  The designation is justified, but I used to have a workmate who was a Rutgers alumnus.  He preferred to view the school as having the proper perspective regarding Sports and Academics.  The latter takes priority over the former.  I happen to agree with him.