Pineapple Grenade - Tim Dorsey

     2012; 552 pages.  Book 15 (out of 26) in the Serge Storms series.  New Author? : No.  Genres : Florida Crime Noir; Dark Comedy; Stoner Humor; Beach Read.  Overall Rating : 9*/10.

 

    Serge Storms.  What a fine, upstanding citizen!  Right now, he’s concerned about carjackings and their effect on tourism in Florida, so he and his stoner buddy Coleman are patrolling the roads around Miami airport, looking for cars that are pulling over other cars with evil intent.  So patriotic!

 

    Serge Storms.  Also wants to become a spy, even though he has no training or experience.  He’s testing out an intriguing way to get hired as one, though.  Just hang out around the various Latin America consulates in Miami acting suspicious, until someone notices him and offers to hire him to do espionage for them.  Ingenious!

 

    Serge Storms.  A firm believer in vigilante justice, something he has lots of experience in.  Well okay.  Nobody said Serge was perfect.

 

What’s To Like...

   Pineapple Grenade is the fifteenth book in Tim Dorsey’s Serge Storms series.  For the most part, it is set in the greater Miami, Florida area, with a couple of scene shifts to the fictitious Latin American country of Costa Gorda (Spanish for “Fat Coast”) and one visit to the Everglades.

 

    Serge’s “I’m a spy; hire me!” plans work even better than he expects.  Various security agencies are on extra-vigilant alert, due to an imminent influx of foreign heads-of-state into Miami for an upcoming “Summit of the Americas”.  Serge’s suspicious loiterings are quickly noted, and countermeasures are duly taken, not all of which would be to Serge’s good fortune.  Mayhem and mystery ensue.

 

     There’s a nice bunch of characters to meet and greet, some recurring, others new.  Coleman’s excessive drug and alcohol consumption actually aids Serge (and the reader) to figure out what’s going on, although the correct interpretation of those clues is a challenge.  It was fun to make the acquaintance of newcomers Felicia Carmen and Ted Savage, and I was elated to see Johnny Vegas, aka “The Accidental Virgin”, back for a brief appearance.

 

    As always, Tim Dorsey weaves an abundance of fascinating Florida history, geography, and culture into the storyline, including something called the Metrozoo seemed a bit far-fetched, but which really exists.  Trivia about the erstwhile TV series Miami Vice also pops up, as well as insight into Florida pro wrestling techniques.  Diprivan, the drug that killed Michael Jackson, gets some ink, and I learned that TEC-9 is a machine-gun.  Jeez, I thought that last one was a rap group, which reminds me: it was a treat to be in the audience when Serge does a rap routine.

 

    The ending is excellent: exciting, twisty, and both logical and unforeseen by both Serge and myself.  Both good guys and baddies suffer losses, one of which left a lump in my throat.  And for those readers who keep track of such things (which includes me), Serge’s “Vigilante Execution Count” for Pineapple Grenade is five, all of which are performed in new and imaginative ways.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.5/5 based on 830 ratings and 203 reviews..

    Goodreads: 3.99/5 based on 2,531 ratings and 221 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    “Let us out here.”

    “But we’re still a few blocks from your stop,” said the driver.

    “I like to take in the neighborhood on approach.  Here’s another ten.”

    “It’s your funeral.”  The cab screeched off.

    Coleman looked around an arid landscape of sunken-eyed scavengers milling outside barricaded buildings.  He clung to the nearest arm: “Serge, that guy coming toward us on the sidewalk is swinging a giant machete.”

    “Are other people around?”

    “Yes, lots.”

    “Does it seem unusual to them?”

    “No.”

    “Then it shouldn’t to us.”  (pg. 274)

 

    They started across the street.  Three men approached them from the opposite curb.  White face make-up, black-and-white striped shirts, and red berets.  The trio tipped their caps in recognition as they passed Serge.

    “You know those guys?” asked Coleman.

    “Serge nodded.  “You heard of the Guardian Angels?”

    “Yeah, vigilante group that protects people.”

    “Those three guys are from Tampa.  They started their own group, the Guardian Mimes.”  (pg. 330)

 

 

Kindle Details…

    Pineapple Grenade currently sells for $13.99 at Amazon.  The rest of the books in the series range in price from $1.99 to $14.99.  Generally, the newer the book, the higher the price.

 

Escobar was short, soft, and plump, but made up for it by being stupid and pushy about it. (pg. 188)

    There’s not much to nitpick about in Pineapple Grenade.  I counted 16 instances of profanity in the first 10% of the book, five of which were f-bombs.   Later on, there was a get-together for the use of cocaine, and there are four rolls-in-the-hay, including one involving “dendrophilia”.  See below for another “-philia” mentioned by Serge.  This is not a cozy mystery.

 

    There were only a couple of typos, two of which made me chuckle.  One was naplam/napalm; the other was a hyphenation of the word “restroom”, which, presumably via the conversion program, was split up into “re-“ and “-stroom”.  Wow.

 

    The title reference occurs at 31%-Kindle.  It doesn’t have much significance in the storyline, but hey, it serves well as a catchy book title.

 

    Overall, I thought Pineapple Grenade was a great read.  The pacing was quick; the dialogue was witty; the thrills-&-spills were plentiful; Serge’s mini-lectures were informative; and the ending was the best I’ve read in months.  I highly recommend it when you’re in the mood for an exciting beach read.

 

    9 Stars.  One last thing.  At 59%-Kindle, Serge mentions something called “ursusagalmatophilia”.  I thought for sure this was a bit of Tim Dorsey's imaginative wit, but found out it's real.  Google it.  You will be amazed.