Ten Big Ones - Janet Evanovich

   2004; 319 pages.  Book 10 (out of 31) in the “Stephanie Plum” series.  New Author? : No.  Genre : Crime-Humor; Women Sleuths; Beach Read.  Overall Rating : 8½*/10.

 

    There’s a psycho running amok in Trenton, New Jersey.  He calls himself the “Red Devil” and has held up fourteen of the city’s deli-marts.  First he robs them, then as he exits, he tosses a Molotov cocktail into the store.  Instant conflagration.

 

    Stephanie Plum accidentally interrupted his routine during his latest heist.  He got a flat tire out of it; she got a burned-to-the-ground car.  But Stephanie caught a glimpse of his face and, though it wasn’t anyone she recognized, she’d know him if she saw him again.

 

    Which, of course happened a short time later.  Unfortunately, the Red Devil also recognized her, and understood the threat when Stephanie yelled, “Hey!  Wait a minute.  I want to talk to you.”  A chaotic chase ensued, with the Red Devil getting away.

 

    It’s kind of weird when a bounty hunter and a pyromaniac robber are both driving around Trenton, teach trying to spot the other.

 

What’s To Like...

    Unsurprisingly, the Red Devil/Stephanie plotline quickly becomes more tangled.  A local gang, the Slayers, gets involved.  Then a contract killer arrives from California with a list of people he’s being paid to dispose of, and Stephanie’s one of them.

 

    Stephanie’s personal life is getting more complicated as well.  Her sister Valerie, to whom she’s lent her apartment, still hasn’t gotten a place of her own, and Stephanie’s current living situation—shacking up with her cop boyfriend, Joe Morelli—is making her feel cramped.  Her subsequent housing solution stirs things up still further.

 

    The gangs, hitmen, psycho store-robbers, and relationship issues give this book a darker-than-normal tone for a Stephanie Plum novel.  Things turn even darker when Steph and friends decide to kidnap a baddie and beat some information out of him.

 

    Fortunately, Janet Evanovich balances all this with some lighter elements.  Mary Alice still thinks she’s a horse, Grandma Mazur and Lula provide comedic embarrassment, and a new character, Sally, shows up sporting something called a “swear band”.

 

    Everything builds to an exciting, over-the-top, and nail-biting ending.  Help arrives from an unexpected source just in the nick of time.  All the “Bounty Hunter” plot threads are tied up, and all the “Love Triangle” plot threads remain enticingly unresolved.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.6/5 based on 7,994 ratings and 994 reviews.

    Goodreads: 4.15/5 based on 105,382 ratings and 2,568 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    “This wasn’t one of my better days,” I said to Morelli.  “My car was destroyed, I was involved in a shooting, and I just sat through a dinner from hell.”

    Morelli slung an arm around me.  “Dinner wasn’t that bad.”

    “My sister talked cuddle umpkins to Kloughn for two hours, my mother and grandmother cried every time someone mentioned the wedding, Mary Alice whinnied nonstop, and the baby threw up on you.”

    “Yeah, but aside from that. . .”

    “Not to mention, Grandma got completely snookered and passed out at the table.”

    “She was the smart one,” Morelli said.  (pg. 47)

 

    “And I suppose it’s okay for you to go after him?” I said to Morelli.

    “I’m a cop.  We go after criminals.  That’s why you called me, right?”

    “And I’m a fugitive apprehension agent.”

    “Don’t take this the wrong way,” Morelli said, “but you’re not a great apprehension agent.”

    “I get the job done.”

    “You’re a magnet for disaster.”  (pg. 180)

 

“I know a doughnut butt when I see one.”  (pg. 184)

    The profanity level in Ten Big Ones, was about normal.  I noted twenty cusswords in the first 10% of the book, which included a half-dozen f-bombs.  References to adult situations, adult toys, and anatomical organs show up later on.  This is the norm for this series.   And we won't even mention the charming transvestite character.

 

    As mentioned, the ending is exciting, but it also felt a bit hurried and too convenient.  That’s okay, though, there’s simply no way to portray a street gang in a light-hearted manner and still make them believably threatening.

 

    Ten Big Ones is another solid entry in the Stephanie Plum adventures.  If you’re looking for a series that’s funny, thrilling, heartwarming, romantic, quirky, and twisty, I highly recommend giving this bounty hunter a try.

 

    8½ Stars.  One last thing.  For those who keep count of these things:  Total cars trashed by Steph: One.  Total FTA’s rebooked by Steph: Seven.  Our protagonist is becoming an ace bounty hunter.

Brother Hermitage's Christmas Gift - Howard of Warwick

    2017; 128 pages.  New Author? : No.  Genre : Historical Satire; Christmas; Novella; Medieval Fiction.  Overall Rating: 8½*/10.

 

    December 25, 1066 CE is nigh!  It will be a day of celebration!

 

    Not only because it’s Christmas, or, as they called it back then: Christes Mass Day.  It’s also the day that Duke William of Normandy will be crowned the King of England.  That's William, the victor at the Battle of Hastings over King Harold of the Saxons.  That's the “late” King Harold.

 

    The Archbishop of Canterbury has instructed all abbeys in England to send emissaries bearing gifts to William.  It is prudent to get on the good side of the new ruler.

 

    For reasons best left untold, Abbot Athan, the head of the abbey at De’Ath’s Dingle, has chosen Brother Hermitage to attend the coronation.  Along with his wiseacre sidekick, Wat the Weaver.

 

    Have fun, Hermitage and Wat.  Paint smiles on your faces as you try to forget that you’re both Saxons, not Normans.

 

What’s To Like...

    Brother Hermitage’s Christmas Gift is a novella-length Christmas tale set in 11^th-century England, in the critical days when the Anglo-Saxon rulership ends and the Normans take over.  It has the same setting as Howard of Warwick’s Chronicles of Brother Hermitage series uses, although here the a trio of the recurring characters play a part.

 

    Unlike the regular books in the series, there is no murders or other crimes for Brother Hermitage to investigate.  Instead, the theme of the story is the nature of gift-giving.  Hermitage and Wat have polar-opposite views about that, and weeklong trek from De’Ath’s Dingle to London gives them ample time to debate it.  They also have to figure out what an appropriate gift the new king should be, and then find one, since they forgot to hit up Abbot Athan for one.

 

    I enjoyed tagging along on their 7-day journey.  Each night lodging and meals must be found, and they are introduced to some fascinating characters.  They also have to beware crossing paths with brigands and marauding Norman soldiers.  And, as is true of all books in this series, Howard of Warwick’s witty dialogue and dry humor is a royal treat.

 

    The story is written in English, not American, so you get weird spellings such as focussed, recognise, practise, and meagre.  But it wasn't distracting, and I always like reading in a foreign language.

 

    The ending is good, with a bit of excitement capping off an otherwise philosophical tale.  The gift-giving storyline has a moral to it, but it’s not what I was expecting.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.3/5 based on 448 ratings and 46 reviews.

    Goodreads: 4.09/5 based on 190 ratings and 13 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    When established constructions, particularly old Roman ones, fell into disrepair the local folk would gather the fallen stones for their own homes.  De’Ath’s Dingle didn’t fall into disrepair, it jumped.  Local folks knew far better than to use material cast off by that place.  As the saying in those parts went: "The stones of De’Ath’s Dingle; for when the worst isn’t quite bad enough.”  (loc. 148)

 

    “So you expect us to travel to London in seven days?”

    “Correct.”

    “In the middle of winter, across a land not yet conquered and probably swarming with armed groups taking advantage of the chaos?”

    “That’s it.”

    “Two Saxons into an army of Normans celebrating their victory?”

    “You do ask a lot of questions.”

    “We’ll be killed.”  (loc. 276)

 

Kindle Details…

    Brother Hermitage’s Christmas Gift sells for $1.49 at Amazon right now.  It is related to Howard of Warwick’s popular Chronicles of Brother Hermitage series, which is up to 32 (soon to be 33) e-books.   The prices for those tales range from $2.99 to $4.99.

 

“Amanuesis?”  “A man who what?”  (loc. 579)

    There is zero profanity in Brother Hermitage’s Christmas Gift which seems appropriate for a Christmas story.  This is the fourth book I’ve read featuring Brother Hermitage, and so far, all of they’ve all been light on the cusswords.  I like it when an author is skilled enough to not have to overuse expletives to tell the story.

 

    For a change, the typos were also scarce.  One missing period, and one clunky wording (“Because it what…”) were all I noted.  The opening word in each chapter (chapters are called “caputs” here; and is that kewl, or what!) has an extra space in it, but I’m sure this was a formatting issue beyond the author’s control, not a typo.

 

    I can’t think of anything else to grouse about.  Brother Hermitage’s Christmas Gift was a delight to read from beginning to end, and exactly what I look for in a Christes Mass story: short and sweet, and thoughtfully upbeat.

 

    8½ Stars.  One last thing.  If you’re new to this series, you should know that Wat the Weaver is renowned for his “sophisticated” tapestries.  Quite a few of the characters here are well acquainted with his masterpieces.  Unfortunately, his craftwork probably is not appropriate as a public gift to a newly crowned monarch.

In the Heart of Darkness - Eric Flint and David Drake

   1998; 445 pages.  Book 2 (out of 6) in the “Belisarius Saga” series.  New Authors? : No.  Genres : Alternate History; Historical Fiction; India; Byzantine Empire.  Overall Rating : 8*/10.

 

    The Malwa are coming!  And they’re threatening to overrun the eastern part of the (Byzantine) Roman Empire!  Quick, send somebody to give them misinformation about our armies there, to scare then by vastly overstating our strength!

 

    Not a problem, sir.  We’ll send General Belisarius to their empire in India, and have him fake becoming a turncoat.  The Malwa will never suspect they’re being duped.

 

    The traitors are coming!  Our spies say a group of plotters plan to assassinate the Emperor Justinian in Constantinople and overthrow the Roman government!  Quick, tell General Belisarius to take command of the loyal Roman armies in that area!

 

    Um, sir.  He’s already on his way to India.

 

What’s To Like...

    In the Heart of Darkness is the second book in a 6-book series co-authored by David Drake and Eric Flint.  The series is based on a historical military commander of the 6^th-century Byzantine Empire.  The authors imagine an alternate timeline wherein Belisarius is aided by an entity from the future.

 

    There are two main plot threads, as hinted at in the introduction.  The setting for the first part of the book takes is almost exclusively India, with just a few cutaways to the Empress Theodora and Belisarius’s wife Antonina, back in Constantinople.  Both those ladies are badass dudettes, neither of whom you’d want to get into a fight with.  In the second half of the book, Belisarius returns to Constantinople to deal with the coup d’etat.

 

    I enjoyed the settings in both India and the Eastern Roman Empire in the 6^th-century.  They felt real to me, and introduced me to empires and historical figures that I knew little or nothing about.  In the Heart of Darkness is an ambitious blend of Historical-Fiction and Alt-History, two of my favorite genres.

 

    Most of Belisarius’s successes are due to his own well-reasoned unpredictability, but he occasionally gets advice from “Aide”, a futuristic spirit, probably computer generated, hiding out in an amulet Belisarius wears on a chain around his neck.  Aide’s insight is valuable, but limited.  His chief contribution is gunpowder, something unknown in our 6^th-century world.  But his attempts to get Belisarius to make mechanized rocket launchers is fruitless because back then the manufacturing technology was quite limited.

 

    The ending, detailing the resolution of the coup d’etat, covers about the last quarter of the book, yet didn’t feel drawn out because it was exciting and action-packed, with the future of the Byzantine Empire hanging in the balance.  The Epilogue updates a number of plot threads, and presumably sets up the next book in the series.

 

Kewlest New Word ...

    Bolides (n., pl.) : very large meteors which explode in the atmosphere.

    Others: Talus slope (n.); Debouched (v.); Epicanthic (adj.), Dacoits (n., pl.).

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.6*/5, based on 487 ratings and 83 reviews.

    Goodreads: 4.21*/5, based on 2,682 ratings and 52 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    “How do you get off this foul beast?” hissed the Empress.

    “Allow me, Your Majesty,” said Maurice.  The hecatontarch came forward with a stool in his hand.  He quieted the horse with a firm hand and a few gentle words.  Then, after placing the stool, assisted the Empress in clambering down to safety.

    Once on the ground, Theodora brushed herself off angrily.

    “Gods—what a stink!  Not you, Maurice.  The filthy horse.”  The Empress glowered at her former mount.  “They eat these things during sieges, I’ve heard.”

    Maurice nodded.

    “Well, that’s something to look forward to,” she muttered.  (pg. 229)

 

    “I know that crowd, Maurice.  I grew up with them.  Forty thousand Hippodrome thugs can swamp less than a thousand soldiers—but not without suffering heavy casualties.  Especially in the front ranks.”

    She pointing (sic) toward the mob.

    “I guarantee you, Maurice, they know it as well as we do.  And every single one of that crowd, right this very moment, is making the same vow.”

    She laughed, harshly.  “‘Victory!’  is just their official battle cry.  The real one—the private, silent one—is: you first!  Anybody but me!”  (pg. 414)

 

Kindle Details…

    In the Heart of Darkness does not appear to be available as a standalone e-book, although you can purchase it as part of a 2-book bundle that includes Book One, An Oblique Approach, for $8.99.  Curiously, the other five books in the series are all available as discrete e-books, and cost $6.99 apiece.

 

“God, my husband has the worst taste in generals!”  (pg. 51)

    The use of profanity is light; just 8 instances in the first 25% of the book.  Most of those were of the milder ilk, but one was an f-bomb, which always feels out of place to me when the setting is the ancient world.  The expletive f**k simply wasn’t around until the 16^th century or so.  Other R-rated stuff includes several allusions to “adult situations”.

 

    The authors use a lot of historical technical jargon in the text, such as “negusa nagast”, a title for an Ethiopian prince.  I liked the “realism” it imparted to the text, but a glossary of historical terms would have been handy.  Typos were sparse; just a couple of plural/singular slips: introduction/introductions and resident/residents.  And there was a chase scene which went on way too long.

 

    More serious is the fact that the first half of the book (set in India) seemed completely irrelevant to the second half (set in Constantinople).  I got the feeling I was reading something that was originally conceived as two separate novellas, then got squished together to make a full-length novel.

 

    But if you like reading about diplomatic intricacies and you persevere through the never-ending chase, you’ll be treated to a great finish, replete with lots of thrills-&-spills, and where the bad guys are just as resourceful as the good guys.

 

    8 Stars.  One last thing.  I think this is one of those series where you really want to read it in order.  I didn’t.  Learn from my mistake and buy the Books-One-&-Two bundle at Amazon.

Childhood's End - Arthur C. Clarke

   1953; 218 pages.  New Author? : No.  Genres : 50’s Sci-Fi; Hard Science Fiction; First Contact.  Laurels: Retro Hugo Award for Best Novel in 2004 (nominated).  Overall Rating: 9/10.

 

    All in all, it’s not so bad being ruled over by this particular set of Galactic Invaders.

 

    Oh, when hordes of their spaceships suddenly appeared in the skies over the major cities of Earth, we knew we were no match for them.  But other than declaring all national borders to be null and void (“One World”, and all that), they’ve pretty much left us alone.

 

    They do require that all communication with them pass between our one designated representative, Rikki Stormgren, and their Overlord known as Karellen.  They meet on an Overlord spaceship because the aliens refuse to physically set foot (or paw, pod, tentacle, or whatever appendages they have) on our planet.  But the relations between those two emissaries is cordial.  One can’t help but wonder, though.

 

    When will the Overlords reveal their ultimate plans for us?

 

What’s To Like...

    Childhood’s End opens with a brief, 5-page Prologue wherein the 1950s United States and Russia react with shock to the realization that they’re no longer the only ones in the cosmos.  The rest of the book is divided into three parts:

    Part 1: Earth and the Overlords (5 years after the Overlords arrive)

    Part 2: The Golden Age

    Part 3: The Last Generation (100 years after the “time of Disney”)

 

    I liked the “Hard Science-Fiction” aspect of the storyline.  The Overlords may use advanced technology, but they still can’t go faster than the speed of Light.  And those traveling at almost the speed of Light age much more slowly than the rest of the universe's inhabitants.  Relativity: It’s the Law.

 

    It was also nice to read a “First Contact” tale where the extraterrestrials don’t make their entrance with lasers and phasers a-blazing.  For a change, they seek a peaceful coexistence, albeit one tailored to their set of rules.  They must have an ulterior motive for this, of course, but that’s a secret best kept hidden for now.

 

    Arthur C. Clarke also shows impressive prescience when describing the future world.  Giant computing machines become the norm, and humans are blessed with reliable oral contraceptives and infallible paternity tests.  Yet seances are still popular and I’m still waiting for the aircar to become our principal means of personal transportation.

 

    The ending is both logical and unexpected, and both heartwarming and sad.  Humans and Overlords find their proper place in the Cosmos, but neither group knows what’s in store for them next.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.4*/5, based on 13,844 ratings and 1,898 reviews.

    Goodreads: 4.12*/5, based on 164,727 ratings and 7,806 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    “Karellen,” he said abruptly, “I’ll draft out the statement and send it up to you for approval.  But I reserve the right to continue pestering you, and if I see any opportunity, I’ll do my best to learn your secret.”

    “I’m perfectly well aware of that,” replied the Supervisor, with a slight chuckle.

    “And you don’t mind?”

    “Not in the least—though I draw the line at nuclear weapons, poison gas, or anything that might strain our friendship."  (pg. 55)

 

    It was One World.  The old names of the old countries were still used, but they were no more than convenient postal divisions.  There was no one on earth who could not speak English, who could not read, who was not in range of a television set, who could not visit the other side of the planet within twenty-four hours.

    Crime had practically vanished.  It had become both unnecessary and impossible.  When no one lacks anything, there is no point in stealing.  Moreover, all potential criminals knew there would be no escape from the surveillance of the Overlords.  In the early days of their rule, they had intervened so effectively on behalf of law and order that the lesson had never been forgotten.  (pg. 72)

 

“The planets you may one day possess.  But the stars are not for Man.”  (pg. 137)

    There was zero profanity in Childhood’s End, and zero adult situations.  The worst language gripe I can come up with is a single use of a racial epithet.

 

    The only typos I spotted were a couple of hyphenated words that shouldn’t have been (boy-friend/boyfriend, sight-seeing/sightseeing, co-operate/cooperate).  I have a feeling those hyphenation issues arose at the printing shop when the original typewritten manuscript was converted.  I thought I spotted a misspelling (kidnaped/kidnapped), but it turns out both those past tense spellings are acceptable.  English is a goofy language.

 

    A lot of Sci-Fi novels from the 1950s/60s don’t hold up too well over time, but I’m happy to say that Childhood’s End is an exception to this.  It is well-written, thought-provoking, entertaining, and frighteningly plausible.

 

    According to Wikipedia, the theme of Childhood’s End, transcendent evolution, is also used in Clarke’s 4-book Space Odyssey series, of which I’ve read the first two books.  It’s time to tackle the next book in that series.

 

    9 Stars.  One last thing.  At one point (pg. 61) 3-dimensional chess and checkers are compared, with the implication that the latter is child’s play relative to the former.  Well, I’ve played chess, albeit the 2-D variety, all my life, and on occasion have played checkers.  Folks, my comprehension of checkers is pathetic.

Fuzz - Mary Roach

   2021; 292 pages.  Full Title: Fuzz: When Nature Breaks the Law.  New Author? : No.  Genres : Animal Rights; Wildlife Science; Non-Fiction; Humorous Essays.  Overall Rating : 9½*/10.

 

    He came with the house.  A cute little field mouse with reddish-brown fur and a white snout.  Actually, he was probably here first, back when the orange grove had not yet been cleared to make a housing subdivision.

 

    He was mostly a nuisance, scampering around from room to room.  The standard mousetraps we set up didn’t fool him at all.  So the exterminator suggested we buy some "glue traps" and set them around.

 

    One night, a week or so after we did that, there was a sorrowful squealing in the laundry room.  The little mouse had run into a glue trap, got stuck, but didn’t immediately die.  He started hyperventilating when I picked up the trap-plus-mouse and eyeballed him.

 

    What to do?  I could toss him into the trash can and let him starve, but that would be cruel. So I bopped him on his stuck head with a screwdriver and that did the trick.  He died instantly, executed for merely being in the way of human encroachment.  But I’ve always wondered…

 

    Was there a more humane way to handle the “mouse in the house”?

 

What’s To Like...

    Fuzz is Mary Roach’s latest book, and the fifth of hers that I’ve read.  In it, she examines the inevitable tensions that arise when humans overrun areas where other animals are already comfortably existing.  We humans will prevail, of course, but figuring out how to best handle those displaced species is quite the challenge.

 

    The diversity of animal groups examined is impressive.  Bears and wolves can get territorial when hikers and campers invade their domain; but they also take keen delight in raiding the dumpsters of any nearby cities.  In northern India, elephants and leopards are an obvious hazard, but deaths by macaque monkey attacks are also a problem.  California has its cougars, the Vatican has its gulls, farmers have their crows, and everyone everywhere (including me) may have to deal with rats and mice.  Even the plant kingdom gets involved.  Douglas firs engage in what the author calls “arboreal manslaughter”, and legumes such as rosary beans and castor beans are accomplices in murders.

 

    Mary Roach is a “hands-on” writer.  She takes an intensive 5-day WHART course (Wildlife-Human Attack Response Training) to learn what to do if you come face-to-face with a bear.  Hint: the answer is different for black bears vs. grizzly bears.  She travels to India to learn about controlling elephants and to Rome to learn whether it’s a sin to take the life of a rodent or bird.

 

    As always, the text is loaded with Mary Roach’s wit, humor, and trivia tidbits.  You’ll learn whether hibernating bears pee and poop during their long nap, the intricacies of “rabbit arithmetic” (2 x 3 = 9,000,000), and the German word for scarecrow (“Vogelverschrikker”).  But she discusses the serious issues of wildlife conservation as well.  You’ll learn why poisoning, relocating, importing predators for the pests, scarecrows/loud noises/lasers, glue traps and doing nothing are not permanent answers to the problem.

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Bejesus (excl.) : an exclamation of surprise or emphasis.

 

Excerpts...

    On June 26, 1659, a representative from five towns in a province of northern Italy initiated legal proceedings against caterpillars.  The local specimens, went the complaint, were trespassing and pilfering from people’s gardens and orchards.  A summons was issued and five copies made and nailed to trees in forests adjacent to each town.  The caterpillars were ordered to appear in court on the twenty-eighth of June, at a specified hour, where they would be assigned legal representation.

    Of course, no caterpillars appeared at the appointed time, but the case went forward anyway.  (loc. 61)

 

    There is, or there was, a hunter gull that hung around St. Peter’s Square, site of the aforementioned floral vandalism.  We know this because the bird was caught on camera in 2014.  You can watch it in slow-motion as it swoops in, beak first and irony ablaze, to nail the white “peace dove” that Pope Francis had just released.  Every January the pope appears on a balcony with children from a Catholic youth group to read a message of peace and release a dove.  The dove survived, but the tradition did not.  In later years, a helium-filled balloon in the shape of a dove was released.  (loc. 3089)

 

Kindle Details…

    The e-book format of Fuzz costs $8.98 at Amazon right now.  Mary Roach has seven more e-books for your Kindle, ranging in price from $8.98 or $11.99.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.4/5 based on 3,122 ratings and 201 reviews.

    Goodreads: 3.84/5 based on 26,239 ratings and 3,574 reviews.

 

“It’s hard to be tolerant when there’s a bear in your kitchen.”  (loc. 623)

    There’s a small amount of profanity in Fuzz.  I counted just 12 instances in the first 50% of the text, but that included a pair of f-bombs.  Later on, the slang term for male genitalia was utilized four times.

 

    I don’t really have anything else to quibble about.  Some of the negative reviewers at Amazon and Goodreads didn’t like Mary Roach’s sense of humor and/or thought the text was boring.  I respectfully disagree on both counts.

 

    The final chapter is a poignant personal note by Mary Roach.  She finds peace and coexistence with a roof rat in her home, solving the problem by discovering, and closing, the entryway the rat uses to get into her attic.  I wish I had done that when I dealt with my field mouse.

 

    9½ Stars.  One last thing.  One of the highlights in Chapter 9 was Australia’s Great Emu War, fought in the 1930s, and which has always made me chuckle.  It shares the spotlight with a conflict I was unaware of: the American military versus the gooney birds (albatrosses) on Midway Island.  The winner in both cases was . . . well, Mary Roach tells it better than I can, so read the book.

Blasphemy - Douglas Preston

   2007; 505 pages.  Book 2 (out of 4) in the “Wyman Ford” Series.  New Author? : No.  Genres : Thriller; Action-Intrigue.  Overall Rating : 8*/10.

 

    It cost forty billion dollars, but the United States government has built a world-class particle accelerator.  They’ve named it “Isabella”.  It’s out on a Navajo reservation in Arizona and will out-perform the one called CERN, presently in operation in Switzerland.

 

    Curiously, a lot of people are upset about this.  The President is ticked off because it’s election year and a lot of voters think it’s a waste of money because thus far, Isabella isn’t even up and running.

 

    The Navajos on the reservation are mad because they were promised lots of jobs and lots of scientists spending lots of money there to but food, gasoline, and other necessities.  None of that has happened.

 

    The scientists at Isabella are frazzled because they’re working long hours trying to debug the process, and don’t have a clue as to what the glitches are.

 

    A televangelist claims the whole project is demonic, since particle physics and the Big Bang Theory runs contrary to God’s Word in the Holy Bible.

 

    And a fundamentalist preacher has been personally told by God to gather up an army of believers and destroy Isabella because doing so will usher in the End of Days.

 

    Well, it’s true that Isabella is way behind on getting up and running.  Something’s going wrong out there, the scientists are keeping it secret, and the President wants to know what it is.  Hey, let’s send a federal agent out there, undercover, to nose around and find out what the problem is!

 

What’s To Like...

    Douglas Preston is half of the “Preston & Child” writing team that authors the 22-book Agent Pendergast series.  Blasphemy is from one of Preston’s solo series, featuring Wyman Ford, a widowed, ex-monk anthropologist who’s still trying to come to grips with the death of his wife.

 

    The storyline is first and foremost a Thriller, but it also takes an in-depth look at how God might talk to people of various religious/philosophical beliefs.  The evangelicals, fundamentalists, and Native American theologies are cited above; and the ex-monk Wyman can put forth the Roman Catholic viewpoint.  Most of the rest of the scientists at Isabella are agnostics, the notable exception being their charismatic team leader, Gregory Hazelius, who’s an atheist.

 

    The bulk of the story takes place on the reservation, and I liked the way the author portrays the Navajo nation.  A couple of Navajo phrases are also worked into the text, including chindii, Bilagaana, Diné, and my personal favorite, Ya’at’ eeh’ which I became familiar with many years ago in college.

 

    I chuckled at the thought that God has chosen my home state, Arizona, as the starting point for both Armageddon and the Apocalypse.  Balanced against those doomsday events is the scientific possibility that Isabella will accidentally create black holes, which will immediately start disintegrating Earth, starting with, yep you guessed it, Arizona.

 

    Everything builds to a big climax featuring clashing factions, the resolution of which is suitably exciting, twisty, and open-ended.  At the end of the day, any or all of the disparate groups could claim to be right and everybody else is wrong.  Yet something has changed.  Read the book to find out what.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.2*/5, based on 2,354 ratings and 402 reviews.

    Goodreads: 3.73*/5, based on 11,228 ratings and 866 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    “What kind of research are you doing over there?  I been hearing weird stories.”

    “Investigating the Big Bang.”

    “What’s that?”

    “That’s the theory that the universe came into existence thirteen billion years ago in an explosion and has been expanding outward ever since.”

    “In other words, you people are shoving your noses into the Creator’s business.”

    “The Creator didn’t give us brains for nothing.”  (pg. 92)

 

    “Everyone will be underground.  When you and your riders arrive, I’ll be the only one there to meet you.”

    “We aren’t doing a meet and greet.”

    “I didn’t want you to think we were being disrespectful.”

    Begay patted his horse and stroked his flank.  “Look, Mr. Ford, we got our own plans.  We’re going to set up a sweat lodge, do some ceremonies, talk to the ground.  We’ll be peaceful.  When the police come to arrest us, we’ll go quietly.”

    “The police aren’t going to come,” said Ford.

    Begay looked disappointed.  “No police?”

    “Should we call them?” Ford asked quietly.  (pg. 253)

 

“He can’t help it.  His doctorate was in horse’s-assery.”  (pg. 74)

    The profanity level is moderate.  There are 16 cusswords in the first 10% of the book, but most of them are eschatological ones.  Later on, a racial slur is used, and there was one adult situation.

 

    In the back of my book, there's a “Note on the Paperback Edition” wherein Douglas Preston recounts the righteous indignation that came out after this book was first released in hardback format.  It is short and well worth taking the time to read.

 

    I have high expectations for any novel by Preston & Child, both as a team or writing solo, and Blasphemy did not disappoint.  Yes, I was trying to deduce which band of religious zealots would be revealed to be the “chosen ones”, but after reading the blowback alluded to in the previous paragraph, I think Douglas Preston opted for the best way to wrap things up.

 

    8 Stars.  One last thing.  At one point, one of the characters decides to prove he’s right by citing a single cryptic name: “Joe Blitz”.  The group of scientists reading this is stymied, and so was I.  Have fun trying to figure it out.

Bulldog - Mike Faricy

   2015; 231 pages.  Book 9 (out of 30) in the “Dev Haskell – Private Investigator” series.  New Author? : No.  Genres: Airport/Beach Read; Hard-Boiled Mystery; Private Investigator Mystery.  Overall Rating: 8*/10.

 

    Dermot Gallagher and Dev Haskell have been close friends for a long time.  Even after Dermot married Casey, and even after Dev started his Private Eye business.

 

    So it’s no surprise that the news of Dermot’s passing hits Dev like a ton of bricks.  Especially the circumstances of Dermot’s death.  According to the police, someone rang the doorbell of Dermot and Casey’s house, Dermot answered it, and was immediately shot in the face.  To say Dev is devastated is an understatement.

 

    The St. Paul police department's investigation is underway, and they have a request for Dev: stay out of this case and let us do our job.  We recognize your PI sleuthing is well-intended, but it will only slow things down.

 

    Yeah, we all know Dev’s not going to comply with that.

 

What’s To Like...

    Bulldog is the ninth book in the Dev Haskell series.  So far, I’ve been reading the series in order, sometimes via economy-priced bundles, sometimes as discrete e-books.  If you don’t happen to own the whole set of tales in this series, don’t fret.  Each of them is a completely standalone story.

 

    The storyline follows the usual formula for a hard-boiled mystery novel: fast pacing, lots of action, and lots of witty dialogue.  But Mike Faricy seems to be subtly tweaking his usual format.  For starters, Dev has no client; he is tackling this case strictly for his personal reasons.  Second, to me the plotline seemed to be more focused on the mystery, with less attention paid to Dev’s amorous interests.  And thirdly, the tone felt a bit darker here.  Personally, I thought these tweaks all worked rather well.

 

    A fascinating new character is introduced: Fat Freddy Zimmerman.  Dev’s first impression of him is given in an excerpt below.  At first I thought he was just another stereotypical “big, dumb, thug”, but he turns out to be an important character in the tale and I certainly hope Mike Faricy promotes him to being a recurring role.

 

    Louie the Lawyer is back, so is Lieutenant Aaron LaZelle of the St. Paul Police Department.  I like both those characters.  The widowed Casey Gallagher is new, and it was neat to watch the way her character gradually develops.  Tubby Gustafson makes for a suitably evil-but-crafty crime boss.  And Bulldog is everything you could want in a mob enforcer.

 

    The ending is exciting and over-the-top, which is mandatory for a hard-boiled crime mystery.  Dev figures out why someone shot Dermot, justice is served, and good triumphs over bad, with a couple of surprising benefits thrown in for good measure.  All the crime-mystery plot threads are tied up.  None of Dev’s romantic efforts are resolved, which is just fine.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.1/5 based on 1,823 ratings and 257 reviews.

    Goodreads: 3.95/5 based on 772 ratings and 52 reviews

 

Excerpts...

    As I moved closer, the face came into focus, and I actually recognized the idiot.  The flattened nose, the Mohawk hairstyle, a half dozen piercings in each eyebrow, and the three rings in his bottom lip left little doubt.  Then, there was the gauging in his earlobes the size of a giant doughnut hole.  I didn’t so much know him as I knew of him.  Freddy Zimmerman, Fat Freddy, a wannabe criminal of dubious reputation.  I was pretty sure he was a general disappointment to folks on both sides of the law.  (loc. 282)

 

    “The license plates had been removed, to answer your next question, and no, a quick search of the immediate area did not turn them up.”

    “Did you search the river around there?  You know in the water, some idiot could have just tossed them in there.”

    “Right now, we’re dealing with a stolen car that was torched.  I’m not calling divers out to search the river bottom for a quarter of a mile in all directions to confirm what we already know.”

    “I was just thinking.”

    “Don’t, please don’t.  You are forbidden to think, which shouldn’t be too hard for you.  You are also forbidden to call me from here on in unless you have been murdered, in which case you wouldn’t be able to call anyway.”  (loc. 1731)

 

Kindle Details…

    Bulldog is priced at $4.99 at Amazon right now.  The rest of the books in the series are currently either $0.99 or $4.99.  Mike Faricy has several other series (Hotshot, Corridor Man, and Jack Dillon Dublin Tales) that have similar pricing structures.

 

As my eyes adjusted to the dim lighting, I noticed the place had the definite reek of cheap perfume and dumb guys.  (loc. 619)

    The profanity in Bulldog felt like the usual amount, in this case there were 28 instances in roughly the first third of the book, and a nice mixture of mild and not-so-mild expletives.

 

    The story ends on page 231, which is at 57% Kindle.  The rest of the e-book included two sneak-peeks at other Mike Faricy opuses: 8 chapters from Double Trouble (the next book in this series), and 36 chapters from Corridor Man (the eponymous first book in another of his series).

 

    There were only a few typos (such as whacko/wacko), but lots of grammar errors, most of which involved apostrophes.  The editing seems to be gradually getting better, and I’m tempted to read one of the recent books in the series next to see if that trend continues.  The series is now up to Book #33, and yes, I know, that doesn’t add up to the number listed in the header of this review.

 

    Overall, I found Bulldog to be a fun and quick read; filled with plenty of thrills, spills, and intrigue; and with lots of interesting characters gallivanting around and uttering witty remarks.  I doubt it will win a Pulitzer Prize but it did keep me coming back for more (mis)-adventures by the incomparable Dev Haskell.  Which is exactly what I wanted.

 

    8 Stars.  One last thing.  Chapter 43 is devoted to an incident that we’ll simply call “Mouse in the Kitchen”.  We’ll not reveal any details, but let’s just say it brought back “been there, done that” memories for me.  Thank you, Mr. Faricy, for that little aside.