2023; 303 pages. Book 8 (out of 8) in the “J.W. Wells & Co.” series. New Author? :No. Genres : Humorous Fantasy; Christmas Tie-In; Mythology. Overall Rating : 8½*/10.
The end of the world is nigh! We’re all going to die the same way the
dinosaurs did—by having a big asteroid smashing into, and obliterating, planet Earth.
Well, there are a few
differences. This asteroid is being
steered by a Mesopotamian goddess who was locked inside it a couple of
millennia ago. Her name is Tiamat, and
she’s divorced, mad as heck, and living up to her nickname “the Destroyer”.
Maybe we should fly up to the asteroid in a rocket, unlock the door to her enclosure, get her out, and change the path
of the asteroid. Too bad nobody knows
where the key to that cell door is anymore.
Okay then, maybe we can get her ex- to talk to her and persuade her to alter
course.
Or not. For starters we don’t know who her ex- is and
where he might be, and chances are a conversation between him and Taimat will just enrage her further.
What’s To Like...
The Eight Reindeer
of the Apocalypse is the latest absurdist fantasy novel from Tom Holt
wherein equal parts of Doomsday dread and office politics are combined with a healthy dose of Holt’s
trademark wry British humour. It is also
a return, after a 12-year hiatus, to his “J.W.
Wells & Co.” series, which features a firm whose clients and
employees are mostly of the magical ilk.
Here, though, the focus is on a rival company of JWW&C., Dawson, Ahriman, and Dawson, and their team of Thaumaturgical
& Metaphysical Engineers.
We follow the efforts and wiles
of several DA&D employees, some in Upper Management, others further down
the corporate ladder, including an intern and a receptionist. That might sound boring, but corporate
subterfuges abound and it turns out a lot DA&D’s workforce are out-of-work
deities (shades of Neil Gaiman's American Gods and Marie Phillips' Gods Behaving Badly!) just hanging out until they can find another world to reign over. It was fun trying to figure out Who was masquerading as whom in the god/human charade.
As usual, Tom Holt weaves a plethora of
plotlines into the tale to keep things interesting. These include a mysterious gray polymer
package, a photobomb fanatic, missing paintings, and whether a jolly fellow named Nick will find
gainful employment again. You’ll also
play the Riddle Game with a
Gollum-like character, desperately look for a “Get Out of
Death Free” card, and dream of acquiring a Bottomless Purse.
You might think a killer
asteroid is easy to fix for a bunch of out-of-work gods, but they waver between
apathy (“We’re immortal. We’ll survive anything.”) and
angst (Ye gods!
There’ll be no one left to worship us!). Everything builds to a pleasingly absurd
ending, with a pleasingly overlooked character stepping up to save the day. Things close with what appears to be a
teaser for a sequel. I for one certainly
hope Tom Holt is working on one.
Excerpts...
”There is no—”
Mr. Teasdale froze, as thirty years of sincere trusting disbelief
crashed round his ears like a Philistine temple. “There really is a Santa Claus?”
“Yup.
As a matter of fact, he was in my office only the other day, Nice chap, but a bit scary.”
“Are you sure?”
The look on Mr. Teasdale’s face. Half an hour ago, Mr. Dawson was pretty sure
he’d never laugh again. It was nice to
find out he’d been wrong. “Sure I’m
sure,” he said. “The man himself. Even came down the chimney.”
“We haven’t got a chimney.”
“I know.” (loc. 1860)
“You were going too fast,” the spokeswoman
interpreted. “Showing off. Probably texting. And now look what you’ve done.”
The spokeswoman had a high, shrill voice
and plenty of it, but the pilot couldn’t help noticing she was kinda cute, if
you like ‘em green and frondy.
“Jump-started evolution on your world, by the looks of it,” he
said. “Hey, get a load of that
Woodlice.” And the morning and the
evening, incidentally, were the fifth day.”
“Yuk,” said the spokeswoman firmly. “Creepy-crawlies.”
“True,” conceded the pilot. “Although give ‘em a day or so and they’ll be
yay high, walking on their hind legs and discovering the Higgs boson. Still, you’re probably right. I can do you a quick flood and everything’ll
be jake.” (loc. 2184)
Kewlest New Word ...
Gubbins (v.) : gadgets; gadgetry. (British).
Others: Insuperable (adj.);
Qurutob (n., food); Yonks (n.); Punters
(n.; I never
did figure out the connotation of this word.).
Ratings…
Amazon: 4.3*/5, based on 97
ratings and 9 reviews.
Goodreads: 4.05*/5,
based on 98 ratings and 34 reviews.
Kindle Details…
The
Eight Reindeer of the Apocalypse costs $9.99 at Amazon right now,
which is a pretty good deal for a recent release. Tom
Holt has a slew of other e-books for your Kindle; they range in price from $2.99
to $9.99. Be aware that Amazon discounts of Tom Holt novels are
few and far between.
Oh what fun it isn’t to ride on a nine-reindeer, open-topped,
dangerously overcrowded faster-than-light sleigh. (loc. 3720)
I’m a Holt-aholic, so it’s
not surprising that I can’t find much to quibble about in The Eight Reindeer of the Apocalypse. I counted 26 cusswords in the first 20% of
the book, which is about average for Mr. Holt. Eight of those were f-bombs though. The editing is good; I noted only two typos: He/The and amd/and.
Some reviewers didn’t like the
abundance of plot threads. That’s
understandable, but that’s the norm for a Tom Holt novel. It keeps the reader keeps wondering how all of those
tangents will figure into the storyline, and whether they can possibly be tied
up coherently. Somehow Tom Holt succeeds
in doing so every time.
I guess my only beef is with
the title’s implied Christmas tie-in.
Yes, there’s a short guy in a red suit whose name is Nick. But he doesn’t live at the North Pole with
Mrs. Claus and a bunch of elves. Also,
the eponymous eight reindeer don’t enter into the tale until 85%-Kindle, and
it’s really only a cameo appearance.
True, the book is divided into 8 chapters, and each chapter title
is given a reindeer name, but those titles have nothing to do with the chapter’s
contents.
Overall, I think The Eight Reindeer of the Apocalypse is another
fine tale by Tom Holt. The wit and
absurdities are still there, so are the subtle insights into not-so-subtle
topics, including in this case, the practice of worshipping deities. This is the author's 36th novel, if I
counted correctly at Wikipedia, and he’s been putting them out since
1987. Here’s hoping he’s still got a bunch more stories to share.
8½ Stars. One last thing. What can you create with the following items: a cinema ticket, a packet of Oreos, a zippo lighter, a rubber band, and a tuning fork? The fate of the planet depends on you solving this!
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