Tuesday, March 28, 2023

Just Pardon My French - Jinx Schwartz

    2016; 216 pages.  Book 8 (out of 14) in the “Hetta Coffey” series.  New Author? : No.  Genres: Women’s Fiction; Humorous Cozy; Beach Novel.  Overall Rating : 7*/10.

 

    Hetta Coffey is going to France!  And since it’s a business trip, she’s traveling there on someone else’s dime. 

 

    Her job is simple – just provide security for some equipment and documents that her former employer is transferring over there.  That’s a sweet deal for her.

 

    But it gets even sweeter.  Her boyfriend, Jenks, will be meeting her when she lands in Paris, and they then will go on a several-weeks-long romantic vacation!  Maybe even travel down to the Mediterranean coast and partake of the joys of the French Riviera!  Surely nothing can spoil such an idyllic journey.

 

    Wanna bet?

 

What’s To Like...

    Just Pardon My French is my third Hetta Coffey book; the other two are reviewed here and here.  Those books were set along the Pacific coast of Mexico and the US, so France is a nice change-of-place.  Since I’m a Francophile, this was a real treat.

 

    It should come as no surprise that those French Riviera plans quickly go awry.  Jenks gets called away on business, but that allows Hetta’s friends, Jan and Po Thang, to fly over to keep her company.  The former is Hetta’s principal partner in hijinks, the latter is her lovable Golden Retriever.

 

    Hetta and company decide to rent a boat and go canal-cruising in southern France, which apparently is a popular recreation.  They make the acquaintances of a variety of fellow travelers who, besides the locals, include Hetta’s ex-lover, Jean Luc (whom she finds she still has feelings for); a single and newly-rich American girl, Rhonda; Rhonda's incredibly handsome and incredibly built boatmate, Rousel; and a pair of feathered fraternizers, Odette and Siegfried.

 

    The reader gets to learn lots of French phrases as Hetta practices her rusty French (she went to school in Paris 20 years or so ago), including a couple French cuss phrases, and some of their pejoratives for foreigners.  I also learned that the Michelin Man, that anthropomorphic guy made of stacked white tires, has a name: Bibendum.

 

        The book cover calls Just Pardon My French a mystery, but that’s a misnomer; it’s really in the Women’s Fiction genre.  Hetta and Jan spend most of their time discussing Rousel’s gold-digging designs on Rhonda, and Rhonda’s blissful blindness to his conniving.  The ending resolves those suspicions about Rousel, but in a manner that doesn't entail much excitement or plot twists.  Oh well, at least the love triangle of Jean-Luc, Jenks, and/Hetta gets cleared up.

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Fulgurous (adj.) : flashing like or resembling lightning.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.6*/5, based on 1,525 ratings and 991 reviews.

    Goodreads: 4.37*/5, based on 1,579 ratings and 160 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    Jan sat in front with Jean Luc, and I was just a little annoyed that she seemed drawn, like flies to a warm turd, to his charismatic personality and heart-melting French accent.  Okay, so I admit DooRah is hard not to be mesmerized by, but then, so is a cobra.  He was, unlike Jenks, who would be back soon, thank goodness, a rat capable of epic treachery.  (loc. 3645)

 

    “He was about to launch the French cherche la femme defense.  It really means that he got in trouble trying to impress me and is a convoluted way of saying if a man has a problem, there must be a woman involved.  We can thank Alexandre Dumas for coming up with that one.”

    “Men! They try to justify their bad behavior with semantics.”

    “So do we.”  (loc. 4309)

 

Kindle Details…

    Just Pardon My French sells for $3.99 at Amazon right now.  The first 12 books in the series are all priced $3.99, with the two most-recent books a dollar more.  Alternatively, you can get bundles of Books 1-5 and 6-10 for $9.99 apiece.

 

“As my grandma used to say, let’s tip over the outhouse and see what stinks.”  (loc. 2277)

    There are a couple of things to quibble about.  This is a piece of cozy fiction, but there is a small amount of cussing.  I counted 16 “hells” in the first 25% of the book, and later on there was one “SOB” and one “damned”.

 

    There are a few distracting typos, although some of them are only apparent if you’ve studied French, and include: Lemans/Le Mans; tout de suit/suite; on-lookers/onlookers; by-standers/bystanders; and Trébes/Trebés/Trebes.

 

    The bigger issue is with the storytelling itself.  As mentioned, the plotline is in need of some adventures, and there were a couple missed opportunities to infuse some excitement into things.  Hetta is guarding a shipment of sensitive information, but nobody tries to hijack it.  Jenks is called away on a top-secret security crisis, but it never impacts the main storyline.  It turns out Jean Luc does have ulterior motives for romancing Rhonda, but they're rather tame.

 

    Still, I enjoyed Just Pardon My French, even if I’m not the target audience.  There’s lots of self-deprecating, witty dialogue between Hetta and Jan, and that’s a Jinx Schwartz forte.  The storyline may not have much in the way of thrills-&-spills, but that doesn’t mean it’s boring.  And if you don't mind a bit of lighthearted Romance to be present in the books you read, you’ll love following the various pairings here.

 

    7 Stars.  Read this series when you’re in the mood for a Travelogue Tale (the descriptions of the canal cruise were great), or a Women’s Fiction story (see the Wikipedia page about this genre), not when you’re in the mood for a whodunit Mystery.  You will not be disappointed.

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