Bite Me - Mike Faricy

   2012; 326 pages.  Book 3 (out of 26) in the “Dev Haskell – Private Investigator” series.  New Author? : No.  Genres: Pulp Thriller; Hard-Boiled Mystery; Private Investigator Mystery.  Overall Rating : 7½*/10.

 

    Sometimes even bat-poop crazy sleeping partners come in handy.  Such as the queen of female psychos in Dev Haskell’s life right now, Kiki.

 

    It seems her brother is an “on-air personality” at a local radio station, KRAZ, and they are looking for someone to provide security for their employees.  Dev is a private investigator, and he might be able to fit a side-job as a daytime security guard at KRAZ into his busy schedule.

 

    Truth be told, Dev could fit it into just about any time slot in his schedule; he has zero clients at present.  But let’s not tell the staff at KRAZ that.

 

    It looks like the job will be easy-peasy.  KRAZ has only two employees: Kiki's brother and the CEO.  This is an all-talk, no-music station; they simply record a fifteen-minute sound bit of right-wing ranting and air it four times every day, at set times.  There are no commercials, and apparently no call-ins.  No wonder Dev’s never heard of KRAZ.

 

    It makes you wonder why they feel they need a bodyguard.  And how they’re going to be able to pay Dev.

 

What’s To Like...

    Bite Me is the third book in Mike Faricy’s “Dev Haskell – Private Investigator” series, which consists of 26 books, and which I think is a completed series.  The books are quick and easy reads, highly entertaining but not to be taken seriously, and fast-paced with lots of plot twists.

 

    The story is told in the first-person POV (Dev’s), and the 326 pages are divvied up into 67 chapters, which works out to an average of less than five pages per chapter.  You won’t have any trouble finding a good place to stop reading for the night.  There are lots of “adult situations”, a smidgen of kinkiness, and more than one murder, and although this all takes place offstage, by no means would I call it a cozy mystery.  The story, and I suspect, the whole series, is set in St. Paul, Minnesota.

 

    I read the second book in the series, Mr. Swirlee, a few months back, it is reviewed here.  Mike Faricy seems to adhere to a plot-development formula, so most of my comments there also apply here.  Dev Haskell is a charismatic antihero who reminds me of Bruce Willis’s role in the old TV series “Moonlighting”.  There’s lots of action, but not a lot of depth.  It’s not really a whodunit, instead it’s a matter of figuring out how Dev is going to get out of the mess he quickly finds himself in.

 

    I laughed at Dev’s cellphone skills, or lack thereof, they’re similar to mine.  He can make and receive calls on it, but that’s about it.  The running gag of everyone mispronouncing his name continues here, and I still chuckle every time.  The use of the insult “numb nuts” also amuses me; that’s my favorite putdown term.  The title stems from one of the many charges that the police bring upon Dev.  And one of the new characters, a lawyer dubbed "Louie the Lout", will have a recurring role, which is great to hear since I took an instant shine to him.

 

    The ending is akin to that of Mr. Swirlee: Dev succeeds in clearing himself of all of the charges except one, and that one’s only a misdemeanor.  Once again, some, but not all, of the baddies, get their just desserts.  By the last page, it’s pretty clear that Dev has figured out all the shenanigans going on, but things close with no arrests having been made.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  3.5/5 based on 549 ratings.

    Goodreads: 3.41/5 based on 947 ratings and 120 reviews

 

Things That Sound Dirty, But Aren’t…

    “Gorgeous, Asian, sexy, gave you the oral treatment yesterday and then something to suck on.”  (loc. 8907)

 

Excerpts...

    I was trying to remember something, anything from the night before and failing miserably, when there was a knock on the bathroom door.  God, the poor thing was probably bringing me coffee.

    “Momentito, my precious,” I called, trying to be funny.

    I turned off the shower, grabbed a towel and wiped my face, then went to open the door, thinking I may have really misjudged her.  Amazing how sometimes you can get off on the wrong foot.

    “Hey, gorgeous.  You’ve got…”

    The jolt from the officer’s Taser knocked me to the floor.  Writhing around on a wet, ceramic tile floor in electronic shock as thousands of volts jolted through my body did nothing to help my hangover.  (loc. 8473)

 

    “This is why you pay me, so listen up. Continue investigating, online.  Stay away from Farrell Earley and his sister, or wife, or ex-wife, Kiki, whatever in the hell she is.  Just stay away from her.  Your job, and I know it’s tough, but your job is to look like a model citizen right now.  Try and fool everyone into thinking you’re a decent guy.  Got it?”

    “I’m not sure I can pull that off.”

    “Humor me.”  (loc. 9379)

 

Kindle Details…

    Bite Me is priced at $3.99 at Amazon right now, same as the other 25 books in this series, with the exception of Book 12, Dog Gone, which is temporarily discounted to $0.99.  You can also buy the first seven books bundled together for a mere $9.99, which is the format in which I read Bite Me.

 

“I’ve never spent the night with a woman who kept a knife under her pillow.”  (loc. 7199)

    There’s not a lot to carp about in Bite Me, provided you aren’t a prude or a right-wing fanatic.

 

    Once again, Dev’s amorous adventures with just about every comely female character resulted in some low ratings at Amazon and Goodreads.  The point is valid, but Ian Fleming’s sleuth James Bond did the same thing.  The main difference between 007 and Dev is that here, most of the female characters here are successfully playing Dev for a sucker.

 

    There is a slew of cussing, 56 instances in the first quarter of the book, so if you were hoping for a cozy mystery, you’ll be disappointed.

 

    And yes, the story is formulaic, but I kinda like the formula.  We’ll see if that feeling lasts for another 23 books, but for now, Bite Me kept me turning the pages and staying up past my bedtime.  The earlier remarks about the ending notwithstanding, Bite Me is a standalone and completed story, and I think I can now say that you don’t have to read these 26 tales in strict order, even though I'm doing that.

 

    7½ Stars.  One final tip.  In the Amazon blurb for Bite Me, there is a short “From The Author” section, which I found to be positively enlightening.  If you want some insight into Mike Faricy’s writing process, be sure to check it out.