2017;
320 pages. Book 6 (out of 6) in the “Space Captain Smith” series. New Author? : No. Genre : Science Fiction; Space Opera; British
Empire; Steampunk. Overall Rating : 8*/10.
For Captain Smith and the ragtag crew on the John Pym, it’s do-or-die time. Literally.
They, and the rest of the forces of the British Space Empire, are about
to take on the ghastly Ghast Empire for control of the universe, and neither
side intends to take prisoners. The
allies of the Ghasts – the Lemming Men, the Edenites, etc. – have been
vanquished in earlier books in the series; now it’s time to squash the final
foe like a bunch of bugs. Which seems
fitting since the Ghasts are a super-evolved version of ants.
Of
course the Ghasts have all the usual advantages that any evil space empire
comes with: overwhelming manpower (okay, bugpower), overwhelming spaceship
superiority, and an insanely psychopathic leader who calls himself “Number
One”.
But the British Space Empire has some potent weapons of their own. First of all, they have tea, and we all know
that’s the fuel that drives the British Empire.
Second, they have “moral fiber” – er, “moral fibre”
– and that has to be worth something, right?
Finally, they have a leader, Major Wainscott, who loves to show his
fortitude (and
other things) by dropping his pants at the start of any armed
conflict. Actually, he likes to drop his
drawers for any reason he can think of.
So
the battle lines are drawn, both sides have made their preparations, and there’s just one more
detail to take care of before commencing the hostilities:
To
play a series of rugby-like matches in the gladiatorial arena, culminating in
the championship “Hyperbowl” game, played on genuine galactoturf. Because that will certainly demonstrate the
value of “moral fibre”.
What’s To Like...
The Pincers of
Death is the sixth, and apparently final book in Toby Frost’s great
steampunk sci-fi spoof series, Space Captain Smith. The title refers to Number One’s personal
group of praetorian guards. If you’re
reading these books in order, be assured that Book Six is just as witty, wacky,
and snarky as the preceding five.
All
your favorite characters are back, both good and evil, including Suruk the
Slayer, Rhianna the Flower Child, Wainscott the Flasher, Number One the
Vainglorious, and 462 the dog lover (well, “ant-hound lover anyway”). But there’s a bevy of new characters as well,
most notably the Straalian Bush Captain Shane and his kangaram Rippy for the good guys, and
the Criminarch of Radishia for the baddies.
The Criminarch is a clever portrayal of an American president; you can read the book to find out which one.
As
usual, the text includes numerous literary and music references. In the first category, there are nods to
Samuel Beckett, T.S. Eliot, Noel Coward & Oscar Wilde, and George Bernard
Shaw. In the second, the nods go to
Bach, Kate Bush, Minnie Riperton (who?), Frederick of Mercury (LOL),
and the little-remembered folk group (except by Toby Frost and me), Fairport Convention. Toby and I are also probably the only ones
who remember the old TV series The
Prisoner, which also gets worked into the storyline.
The Pincers of Death is written in
English, not American, so in addition to the quiff and saveloy cited below, you’ll find strange words like tosser,
troppo, doo-lally, smalls
(undies), scoffing
(scarfing), boffin,
and skewiff.
The ending is remarkably exciting for a sci-fi spoof story, and includes
several nice twists. A short
epilogue closes things out, which I thought was done quite well. The
Pincers of Death is both a standalone novel and the finale in the series. I read these books in order, but
I don’t think that's absolutely necessary.
Kewlest New Word ...
Quiff (n.)
: a piece of hair, especially on a man, brushed upward and backward from the
forehead (a
Britishism).
Others: Saveloy
(n., and another Britishism).
Ratings…
Amazon:
4.6/5
based on 41 ratings.
Goodreads:
4.11/5
based on 46 ratings and 10 reviews
Excerpts...
“When you meet
the Criminarch, there will be a moment, a brief moment, when you will be close
enough to attack Number One and snap his scrawny neck.”
“And then? How will I escape without being shot.”
“Well, you
won’t.”
“Right,” Smith
said. “I see. That’s a bit of a flaw in your plan, isn’t
it?”
“Not really.” (loc. 1411)
Suruk
approached. “Friends, the time for war
is upon us. Less yakking, more
hacking. You look troubled, Piglet. Fear not.
Tomorrow, we will stand among the heroes of the Space Empire. And if you die, which is reasonably likely,
think of the welcome your ancestors will give you in the afterlife.”
“I’m a robot,
Suruk. My ancestors were typewriters and
word processors.” (loc.
3872)
Kindle Details…
The Pincers of Death is presently priced at $3.99
at Amazon. The rest of the books in the series
range in price from $5.99 to $7.99. Toby Frost has five other e-books at Amazon,
parts of two other series. These range in
price from $3.99 to $16.99.
“Time to float like a butterfly and sting like a melting clock, as
Muhammad Dali would say.” (loc.
1659)
The
quibbles are few. The first half of the
book is all about the athletic meet; while the second half is devoted to the
final battle. But those two threads
don’t have much to do with each other. I
kind of got the feeling that these were two separate novellas that the author
stitched together at a later date. But hey, it works, so
what’s there to complain about?
There’s
an annoying issue with italicizing text for no apparent reason and which occurs sporadically throughout
the book. But that’s a technical glitch, not a literary one. Finally, reading
prudes should note that there’s a small amount of mild cussing, mostly
confined to the words hell and damn although d**khead gets used once. There’s also one roll in the hay and a character
who frequently partakes of something called Martian red weed. Overall though, I thought this was a “clean” story.
I found The Pincers of Death to be every as enjoyable as the other books in this series. I never felt like the storyline was going stale, and Toby Frost's sense of wit and humor
resonated with me. I should give a quick
shout-out to my local library for carrying the first two e-books in this series, which is how I discovered Captain Isambard Smith and Company. I was hooked after those two tales.
8 Stars. Here are a couple more things you'll learn by reading The Pincers of Death. 1.) What reaction occurs when you mix a large amount of Supercola with a large amount of Imperial Mintats. 2.) What Captain Smith’s favorite magazine is. 3.) Why Charlie Chaplin walked like a penguin.
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