How to Pick Up Women with a Drunk Space Ninja - Jay Key

   2018; 346 pages.  Book 1 (out of 4) in the “Adventures of Duke LaGrange” series.  New Author? : Yes.  Genres : Humorous Science Fiction; Space Opera.  Overall Rating : 7*/10.

 

    Get ready for a new Dynamic Duo!

 

    The main hero is Duke LaGrange, a wisecracking bounty hunter from a colony planet called Nova Texas.  He’s not particularly physically imposing, but he makes up for that by packing two deadly space firearms: a Widowmaker sonic shotgun and a laser revolver.

 

    His sidekick is a silent-but-deadly Ninja warrior named Ishiro’shea.  He’s from some backwater planet called Earth and claims to be of Irish-Japanese extraction, whatever that means.

 

    Right now they’re doing what most superheroes love to do: hanging out at the Why Not Saloon on the planet Kelt, and famed for its wine, women (of all sorts of intergalactic species), and interdimensional portals.  And while Duke flirts with the females in the crowd, Ishiro is engaged in his favorite pastime: lying on the saloon’s floor, passed out drunk.

 

    Life cannot get any better than this.

 

What’s To Like...

    How to Pick Up Women with a Drunk Space Ninja is the first volume in a (presumably) completed 4-book humorous sci-fi series.  The two protagonists remind me of the Star Wars duo of Han Solo and Chewbacca.  Ichiro has taken a vow of silence (it’s a ninja thing) so the banter between Duke and him is one-sided, yet just like Solo and Chewie chitchats, it somehow works.

 

    The opening scene takes place in a galactic bar-&-grill, which is very similar to the one in the first Star Wars movie, save that the band playing is a robotic metal group and the female flirt is an anthropomorphic musk ox.  That gives you a good idea of the comedic tone of the tale.  But the primary plot thread concerns our heroes reluctantly finding themselves forced into joining an epic space quest; which again is very Solo/Chewie-ish.

 

    I liked the character-building.  The good guys are well-intended but rather inept; and the head bad guy may be arrogant, yet he’s also somewhat charismatic.  The warfare scenario takes its cue straight out of Star Wars: the “legitimate” (evil) empire has overwhelming military resources, but the “rebel” (good) resistance has no reason to believe they can prevail, but they'll die trying anyway.

 

    The plotline is humorous, twisty, and has enough action to keep the reader reading “just one more chapter”.  The loyalty of most of the good guys—including Duke—is questionable at times, and both sides occasionally wonder if they’re being manipulated by some higher Power.

 

    The ending is decent; when all appears lost, help comes crashing in from unexpected places, and in the end the bad guys get their just desserts.  The aftermath is given in the second-to-last chapter, ties up the loose plot threads in a heartwarming manner.  Things close where things began, back at the bar-&-grill, with Duke and Ishiro contemplating their next adventure.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.1*/5, based on 285 ratings and 52 reviews.

    Goodreads: 3.85*/5, based on 347 ratings and 44 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    “I am truly sorry.  Is there anything else that I can help you with?”

    “You hairy Glyptodian bastard!  Tell the Queen that I’m looking right down its bright red gullet as we speak; not too far from the Keltian atmosphere.  I think she might want to know.”

    “You do make a valid point, Mr. LaGrange.  I will seek her out with unrivaled haste.  Do you mind if I place you on hold briefly?”

    “Yes, I mind, Earl!”

    “Thank you.”

    “No, I said, I do mind—”

    The hold music interrupted and chimed away.  (loc. 716)

 

    “Nice to meet you, Lo’n.  I’ve heard so much about you.”

    Duke awkwardly knelt down in an exaggerated curtsy.  Mo’a laughed.

    “Is that right, off-worlder?”

    “But of course.  The great and all powerful Lo’n.  Your exploits are known throughout the universe.  Entire races are sacrificed in your honor every cycle.  The mere mention of your name can impregnate certain species.  Both male and female.  You are a god, my friend, a true god.”

    Lo’n’s eyes locked on to Duke’s.  Silence fell upon the group.  Not even Mo’a chuckled.

    “Off-worlder, I like you!”  (loc. 2483)

 

Kindle Details…

    Right now, How to Pick Up Women with a Drunk Space Ninja sells for $3.99 at Amazon.  The other three books will each cost you $4.99.  You can also pick up a short-story Space Opera e-book by Jay Key, The Art of Negotiating with Space Monsters, for just $0.99.

 

“Not to be a nitpicker, but friends don’t attack each other with fire-covered spears.”  (loc. 1289)

    There’s a moderate amount of cussing in How to Pick Up Women with a Drunk Space Ninja, most of it of the “milder” variety.  I counted 13 instances in the first 10%.  The only adult situation I recall was one roll-in-the-hay late in the story.

 

    The favorite colloquial expression in this part of the galaxy is “Holy Hedgehogs!”, which made me chuckle each time it was used.  Robin, Batman’s sidekick, would love that phrase.

 

    My main issue in HtPUWwaDSN was with the action scenes.  A lot of the fight scenes involve Duke and Ishiro taking on overwhelming numbers of baddies charging at them.  But in most cases, Duke simply pulls out his equalizers, a pair of overwhelmingly deadly firearms, and confidently saves the day.  And in the few cases where that’s not sufficient, dei ex machina crash the party in a most timely manner.

 

    But hey, the same can be said of Batman and Robin, in the old TV version starring Adam West, and I used to love that show as a kid.  It worked for that Dynamic Duo, and it works for Duke and Ichiro as well.

 

    So give your thinking brain the night off, read this book strictly for its entertainment value, and don’t ask yourself any “what are the odds???” questions when our two heroes escape yet another hopeless situation.  You’ll be glad you did.

 

    7 Stars.  One last thing.  Early on, the catchphrase “damn skippy” is used.  I love that expression, but always thought it was invented by Lula, in Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum series, but Google assures me it is a common phrase.  I need to start using it more.

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings - Maya Angelou

   1969; 310 pages.  New Author?  : Yes.  Genres : Biographies & Memoirs; Banned Books; Civil Rights Movement; Non-Fiction.  Overall Rating: 9½*/10.

 

    When we think about the start of the Civil Rights movement in America, the 1950s will most likely come to mind.  Things like Martin Luther King Jr., Selma, bus boycotts, Rosa Parks, protest marches, and much more.

 

    But what was life like for Blacks in the years just before all that?  In the 1930s everyone struggled with the Great Depression, and in the 1940s, World War 2 saw over a million American soldiers either killed or wounded, including both blacks and whites. What was it like for black children growing up in those years?

 

    Also, were conditions different for blacks depending on what geographic area of the United States they were living in?  For instance, were things better in Missouri than in Mississippi?  Maybe being Black in California was better than both of those places.  If so, how much better?

 

    Maya Angelou, American memoirist, poet, and civil rights activist, was born in 1928, so grew up in the 1930s/40s. and lived in all those areas along the way.  I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings recounts her turbulent experiences during those decades.

 

What’s To Like...

    I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings is the first book in the 7-volume autobiographical series.  It details her childhood experiences starting when she was three years old and, along with her four-year-old brother Bailey, moved in with her grandmother due to the divorce of her parents.  The book ends with a momentous life-changing event in her life when she was sixteen, and presumably the sequel, Gather Together in my Name, continues from there.

 

    The 310 pages are divided up into 36 chapters, which averages out to 8+ pages/chapter.  There is heavy emphasis on Maya’s interactions with her family members, particularly her brother Bailey.  We also watch the child Maya struggle to come to grips with racism (be careful when going to “whitefolksville”), sexual assault (Maya was raped when she was eight years old), and self-reliance (she grew up in a world where circumstances were heavily stacked against her).

 

    Maya’s birth name was Marguerite Annie Johnson, and it was fascinating to learn how her first name morphed into Maya (Marguerite --> Margaret --> Mary --> Maya).  I presume the changing of her last name is due to marriage, but that doesn’t happen in this book. Religion plays a prominent part in Maya’s entire family, and along the way the reader accompanies her to a tent revival (I’ve been to a couple) and learn why the phrase “by the way” is considered blasphemous in some fundamentalist circles.  

 

    Maya’s teenage years were just as unsettled as her childhood, but the reader gets to watch Maya evolve from someone “ignorant of her ignorance” into someone “being aware of being aware”.  In a show of perseverance, Maya applies for, and is eventually hired as San Francisco’s first Negro streetcar conductor.  A short time later, she learns to drive a stick-shift car, with no advance training, at night, on a lonely stretch of road in Mexico, with her dad passed out in the back seat.  Which then leads to her getting stabbed by her dad’s girlfriend.

  

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.7*/5, based on 36,661 ratings and 4,245 reviews.

    Goodreads: 4.30*/5, based on 555,423 ratings and 17,684 reviews.

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Powhitetrash (n.) : someone so poor (and white) that they cannot afford the missing “o” and “r”.

Others: Siditty (adj.); Chifforobe (n.); Ordurous (adj).

 

Excerpts...

    San Franciscans would have sworn on the Golden Gate Bridge that racism was missing from the heart of their air-conditioned city.  But they would have been sadly mistaken.

    A story went the rounds about a San Franciscan white matron who refused to sit beside a Negro civilian on the streetcar, even after he made room for her on the seat.  Her explanation was that she would not sit beside a draft dodger who was a Negro as well.  She added that the least he could do was fight for his country the way her son was fighting on Iwo Jima.  The story said that the man pulled his body away from the window to show an armless sleeve.  He said quietly and with great dignity, “Then ask your son to look around for my arm, which I left over there.”  (loc. 2590)

 

    The Black female is assaulted in her tender years by all those common forces of nature at the same time that she is caught in the tripartite crossfire of masculine prejudice, white illogical hate, and Black lack of power.

    The fact that the adult American Negro female emerges a formidable character is often met with amazement, distaste and even belligerence.  It is seldom accepted as an inevitable outcome of the struggle won by survivors and deserves respect if not enthusiastic acceptance.  (loc. 3284)

 

Kindle Details…

    The e-book version of I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings sells for $7.99 at Amazon right now.  The other six books chronicling Maya Angelou’s life range in price from $5.99 to $13.99.  Maya Angelou was a prolific writer of poetry, plays, screenplays, memoirs, essays, children’s books, and cookbooks.  Most of her works are in the $3.99-$14.99 price range for the Kindle format.

 

Without willing it, I had gone from being ignorant of being ignorant to being aware of being aware.  (loc. 3268)

    For such a tough start to her life, there is a surprisingly small amount of profanity in I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings.  I noted just eight instances in the first 50% of the book, and most of those were the N-word racial epithet.  The sexual molestation is handled as tactfully as possible, and later on there is one roll-in-the-hay.  I caught only one typo in the whole e-book: staring/starring.

 

    The Wikipedia article mentions that some reviewers categorize I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings as “autobiographical fiction” but it also cites other reviewers (in the “Style and Genre” section) as fully meeting the requirements to be called an “Autobiography”.

 

    I have always suspected that any autobiography will be inherently slanted to some degree in the author’s favor.  For that matter, I think this happens even in most biographies.  If you’re an biography writer, and you want to get paid for your work by your subject, you’re naturally going to present the life you’re writing about in a favorable light as much as possible.

 

    For me, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings was a thoroughly captivating and heartfelt work.  I grew up in the Civil Rights era, but that was during the 1960s, not the 1940s/50s.  It was enlightening to read about the roots of the Civil Rights movement.  My only quibble is that I have to read six more books to learn the complete story of Maya Angelou’s life.

 

    9½ Stars.  One last thing.  I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings has been one of the most banned books in the US school system for many years.  Wikipedia’s article on the book devotes a whole section, titled “Censorship”, to the details and statistics of the bans.  It is worth your time.

Ye Gods! - Tom Holt

   1992; 296 pages.  New Author? :No.  Genres : Humorous Fantasy; Mythology; Satire.  Overall Rating : 8*/10.

 

    It’s not easy being the son of a Roman god.  And the head honcho, no less, Jupiter himself.  Just ask Jason Derry. 

 

    Oh, it certainly has some benefits.  You’re a physical masterpiece: you can run at super speeds, dodge flying bullets, and beat the daylight out of any human foolish enough to get into a fight with you.

 

    There are limits however.  Jason’s mom is a mortal, which makes him only a half-god.  Full-blooded deities are more powerful than him, and probably smarter as well.  That means he’s susceptible to being manipulated by the gods, if they so choose.

 

    And Jason has a sneaking suspicion that they are so choosing.

 

What’s To Like...

    Ye Gods! is a clever blend of several Greek mythological tales (Jason & the Golden Fleece, Prometheus) and the modern-day quantum physics concept of multiverses.  If you have an infinite number of parallel universes, at least one of them will still be inhabited by the ancient gods and heroes.  The tale is told via 14 chapters covering 296 pages, with a plethora of fabulous footnotes added that would make Terry Pratchett proud.

 

    It was fun to watch Tom Holt add twists to the classical Greco-Roman myths.  Jason still procures the Golden Fleece, but it’s a minor part of this story.  The gods weren’t mad at Prometheus for giving Fire to humans; it was his second gift to us that got him chained to the rock, with an eagle sent daily to peck out his liver.  The second gift was . . . well, revealing that would be a spoiler.

 

    I’m a lifelong mythology lover, so Ye Gods! was a literary delight for me.  Eleven of the Romanized deities play parts here, plus a twelfth one that I had never heard of.  I was sure that last one was something Tom Holt had dreamed up, and then surprised when I found a Wikipedia page about him.  I’d tell you the god’s name, but that too would a spoiler.

 

    Tom Holt is a British novelist, thus the book is written in English, not American.  So for us Yanks, there were some odd spellings (cheque, sulphur, dialled) and weird words (shufti, git, biro), but I’ve gotten familiar with most of these.  The author also works lots of trivia-worthy items into the text, such as Perry Mason, Burger King, Mithraism, Vivaldi, and one of my heroes, Aleister Crowley.  Late in the story, we get to watch an episode of an alternate-universe TV Game Show called God’s My Witness.  That was exciting.

 

    The ending is vintage Tom Holt: unforeseen yet absurdly logical.  Jason (and the reader) finally get to the bottom of the godly skullduggery, and for perhaps the first time in his life, our hero is introduced to the concept of free will.

 

Excerpts...

    ”Virgil,” he said, “can I ask you something?”

    “Be my guest,” said the Mantuan.

    “If you had a little voice in the back of your head,” said Jason, “that kept telling you to . . . no, suggesting that you do things that you really don’t want to do, because they’re dangerous and you don’t understand why they need doing anyway, how would you react?”

    “I’d have a lobotomy,” Virgil replied unhesitatingly.  “Nothing worse than a chatty brain, I always say.”  (pg. 99)

 

   “Bad King Atreus looked out

    On the slopes of Pindus

    Lightning came and rubbed him out,

    Blowing him to cinders.

    Atreus, the silly sod,

    Came to Jove’s attention.

    People who offend a god

    Don’t collect their pension.”  (pg. 242)

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Nobble (v.) : to try to influence or thwart someone by underhanded or unfair means.  (British, slang)

Others: Chiropody (n.); Simpulum (n.); Profiteroles (n.).

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.1*/5, based on 210 ratings and 26 reviews.

    Goodreads: 3.71*/5, based on 1,299 ratings and 40 reviews.

 

“Just because you’re omniscient doesn’t mean you don’t forget the occasional birthday.”  (pg. 157)

    There’s not a lot of profanity in Ye Gods!  I counted just 10 instances in the first 20%, all of the either the scatological or eschatological variety.  Later on, a couple of stronger cusswords crop up, including one f-bomb.

 

    There were only a couple typos: a missing comma, hopped/hoped, and two different spellings of a character’s last name: Bennett/Bennet.

 

    A word to the wise: don't be surprised if you get a third of the way through the book and suddenly realize you have no idea what the main storyline is.  This is trademark Tom Holt, and rest assured that the main plot thread will eventually reveal itself.  In the meantime, just enjoy being entertained by the author’s wit, storytelling, and the antics of a bunch of Roman gods.

 

    8 Stars.  One last thing.  At one point, a “CND symbol” is referenced, and I had never heard of such a thing.  This stymied me, but luckily Wikipedia is the fount of all knowledge.  “CND” refers to a British activist group called the “Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament”, and its symbol is what we ex-hippies call “the peace symbol”.  Peace on!

The Providence Rider - Robert McCammon

   2012; 516 pages.  Book 4 (out of 10) in the “Matthew Corbett” series.  New Author? : No.  Genres : Historical Fiction; Colonial America; Thriller.  Overall Rating: 8*/10.

 

    New York City, 1703 CE.  Someone is blowing up buildings!

 

    Whoever’s doing it is also painting graffiti on walls next to be exploding buildings.  Actually, the graffiti is rather minimal: just a single name: MATTHEW CORBETT.  It’s logical to suppose that’s the perpetrator, bragging about his crimes.

 

    When Matthew Corbett arrives upon the scene, he’s quite astonished to see his name scrawled on the walls.  He knows he’s not the arsonist, even if others in the crowd are giving him distrustful looks.  He’s more than ready to start investigating the crimes, and an obvious question is already giving him a starting point.

 

    Why is the real perpetrator painting Matthew’s name on a nearby wall each time he blows up a building?

 

What’s To Like...

    The Providence Rider is the fourth book in Robert McCammon’s “Matthew Corbett” now-completed ten-book historical thriller series.  The riddle of Matthew’s name being in close proximity to blown-up buildings is readily solved and Matthew and two companions, Berry and Zed, quickly find themselves on a ship headed for Pendulum Island in the Bermudas.  Several shady characters accompany our heroes in order to make sure they don’t change their minds.

 

    An old adversary is there to greet Matthew when the ship reaches its destination, wanting him to do a sleuthing job, and promising him ample recompense.  I love it when good guys are persuaded to get in cahoots with bad guys.  The book’s title references Matthew’s acceptance of the job; “Providence Rider” is colonial slang for “Problem Solver”.  Not surprisingly, the straightforward assignment rapidly becomes more complex and dangerous.

 

    The Providence Rider is first a foremost a Historical Thriller, with lots of Action and Intrigue infused into it.  Things proceed at a rapid pace, with a bunch of baddies for Matthew to rub shoulders with, a couple of which are beautiful and deadly women.  The 34 chapters average out to about 15 pages/chapter and there are five drawings included which I thought added a nice touch.  Timewise, the story is set in 1703-04 CE, and I’m really loving this historical fiction series because of the rarely used era that it's set in.

 

    Things build to an exciting climax that, with everyone—good-guys and baddies alike— fleeing for their lives.  There are casualties amongst both the white-hats and the black-hats.  The scene then shifts back to New York, where several secondary plotlines are resolved, plus one major romantic one.  The tale closes with a teaser for the next book in the series.

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Fearnaught (n.) : a thick, heavy, shaggy woolen overcoat.

Others: Puffet (n.).

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.5*/5, based on 998 ratings and 171 reviews.

    Goodreads: 4.24*/5, based on 3,517 ratings and 349 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    “I may sit?”  Sirki motioned to a chair.  Matthew nodded again, though he was concerned about the chair’s survival.  Sirki eased himself into it and stretched out his long legs.  “Ah.  Now, I’m in . . . how would you say? . . . pig’s paradise?”

    “Hog heaven,” Matthew suggested.

    “Exactly.  Let me show you I have no weapons.”  Sirki lifted his arms, shrugged off his cloak, and patted around his midsection.

    “Do you need any?”

    This time a grin burst forth.  “No, I do not.”

    Matthew reasoned it was time to keep his mouth shut.  (loc. 842)

 

    “You had some trouble today.”  It was a statement of fact, as dry as the fish bones in the skeleton collection.

    “A mite,” Matthew allowed.

    “Hm.  One of my stone seahorses is missing from the library balcony.  Also the curtain cords are gone.  There is—was—a wine bottle on the ledge.  What can you tell me about that?”

    “Nothing.”  Matthew shrugged.  His heart was a furious drummer.  “Much.”

    “You shield your enemies.  Why?”

    “I take care of my own business.”

    “That’s admirable.  Stupid, possibly . . . but admirable.”  (loc. 3941)

 

Kindle Details…

    The Providence Rider sells for $11.99 right now at Amazon.  The rest of the books in the series generally range in price from $11.99 to $15.99, with occasional discounts on select e-books, usually to $2.99.  Robert McCammon has other series and standalone novels for your Kindle; they normally range in price anywhere from $2.99 to $11.99.

 

It was a good day, he decided, to not be a ghost.  (loc. 3651)

    I noted 19 cusswords in the first 20% of The Providence Rider, all of them being of the “milder 4-letter words” type.  Later on, there were a couple of f-bombs, plus some references to female dogs and posteriors, as well as one roll in the hay.  There were a couple of typos: assinine/asinine; whether/whither; was/were; and treel-imbs/tree-limbs; but these were sparse enough to not be distracting.  A number of mysterious “Kk” notations popped up between paragraphs, but I suspect this was more the fault of the conversion-to-Kindle software, not the author.

 

    Each character had his/her unique traits, but they were all either “all good” or “all evil”.  I’m partial to "gray" characters, but have to say it was interesting to watch white-hats and black-hats forced to cooperate with one another.  There weren’t a lot of plot twists, although that’s what you hire a Providence Rider to minimize.

 

    Enough of the quibbling.  For me The Providence Rider was a well-written page-turner, with oodles of action, intrigue, and skullduggery jumping up on almost every page.  Next up is The River of Souls, which is on my Kindle, awaiting my attention.  Stay tuned.

 

    8 Stars.  One last thing.  There is a lifesaving scene in The Providence Rider that’s incredibly over-the-top.  It reminded me of an old James Bond movie where Pierce Brosnan jumps out of an airplane in mid-flight over mountains, without a parachute, and ends up somehow deftly skiing up to ski lodge café.  If you remember and enjoyed that Bondian antic, you'll love the one here.

The Anvil of the World - Kage Baker

   2003; 350 pages.  New Author? : No.  Book 1 (out of 3) in the “Anvil of the World” trilogy.  Genres: Fantasy; Steampunk Fiction; Novellas.  Overall Rating : 6½*/10.

 

    Well, Smith, it’s time we found you a job.

 

    How’s about we try you out as a caravan master?  There’s one leaving from Troon shortly and going to Salesh.  Yeah, I know, you have no experience as a caravan master and the road to Salesh is known to be full to robbers and demons, but maybe you’ll do okay.

 

    If you’re still alive when the caravan reaches Salesh, and don’t think that job’s for you, there’s an opening for a proprietor at the Hotel Grandview.  It’s a boring job, but all you have to do is make sure no one dies while they’re staying there.  You think you can handle that?

 

    If that doesn't work out, all that’s left is to send you on a quest for something called the "Key to Unmaking".  That job is idiot-proof because we’re pretty sure the Key doesn’t exist.  All you’ll be doing is confirming that it’s a hoax.

 

    Good luck, Smith.  Try not to get yourself killed.

 

What’s To Like...

    Neither the Amazon blurb nor the hype on the paperback cover hints at it, but The Anvil of the World is actually three novellas scrunched together to make a novel-length book.  The stories all follow the same main characters, Smith and Ermenwyr, and do appear to be presented in chronological order, but each is an independent storyline.

 

    The first novella, the “caravan” tale, seems primarily aimed at presenting the book’s tone, the world-building, and the various races and creatures that dwell therein.  Kage Baker does a marvelous job of this.  There are three races: humans (the “Children of the Sun”), demons (who try their best to be evil, but don’t always succeed), and Yendri (who are into New Agey things like meditation and vegetarianism).

 

    The tone is delicately lighthearted, which was a pleasant surprise.  The action is set in a sword-&-sorcery world, but might usually trumps magic, as alluded to in the second excerpt, below.  I loved the way Kage Baker chose names for the various characters.  For example, Lord Ermenwyr’s bodyguards are dubbed Cutt, Crish, Stabb, Strangel, Clubb, and Smosh, and other surnames include Greenbriar, Crossbrace, Coppercut, and Beatbrass.

 

    There’s a bunch of wit and humor running throughout the book, such as the deadly “Fatally Verbal Abuse” duel in the second story.  I was also thrilled to see Chemistry play a part as well, in the form of a caustic drain cleaner, dubbed “Scourbrass’s Foaming Wonder”.  The novellas have no titles and there are no chapter divisions, but there are paragraph breaks aplenty, which means you can always find a convenient place to stop.

 

    Each novella has its own ending, with the most significant one coming, appropriately enough, at the close of the third one.  Amazon and Wikipedia indicate there are two other books in this series, one of which, The House of the Stag, is a prequel that was published five years after The Anvil of the World.  It doesn’t appear that either of the other two novels are available in e-book format.

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Princox (n.) : a self-confident young fellow.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.3/5 based on 122 ratings and 45 reviews.

    Goodreads: 3.89/5 based on 2,030 ratings and 195 reviews.

 

Things That Sound Dirty, But Aren’t…

“Mr. Hummyhum is ready to play now.” (pg. 180)

 

Excerpts...

    “Hear, mortal, the lamentable tragedy of my house,” Lord Ermenwyr intoned gloomily.  “For it came to pass that the dread Master of the Mountain, in all his inky and infernal glory, did capture a celestial Saint to be his bride, under the foolish impression he was insulting Heaven thereby.  But, lo!  Scarce had he clasped her in his big evil arms when waves of radiant benignity and divine something-or-other suffused his demonic nastiness, permanently reforming him; for, as he was later to discover to his dismay, the Compassionate One had actually let him capture her with that very goal in mind.  But that’s the power of Love, isn’t it?  It never plays fair.”  (pg. 155)

 

    “Could you summon us up a catapult that’s bigger than theirs, then?” Smith inquired.

    “Don’t be silly,” said Lord Ermenwyr severely.  “Sorcery doesn’t work like that.  It works on living energies.  Things that can be persuaded.  I could probably convince tiny particles of air to change themselves into wood and steel, but I’d have to cut a deal with every one of them on a case-by-case basis, and do you have any idea how long it would take?  Assuming I even know how to build a catapult—"  (pg. 247)

 

“Hey nonny no! (. . .) Light the hubblebubble, Nursie dearest.”  (pg. 111)

    There’s a fair amount of cussing in The Anvil of the World.  I counted 17 instances in the first 20%, but they were all mild ones of the eschatological ilk.  Later on, the phrase “What in Nine Hells” was used a number of times, which I don’t really think counts as profanity.

 

    There are also quite a few allusions to “adult situations”, and the partaking of drugs, in particular “opiates”, is a common vice.  And some bars have edgy names, one of which was “The Winking Tit”.

 

    Alas, The Anvil of the World wasn’t a page-turner for me.  The stories are too short for any depth to be developed, and the reader has to start fathoming a completely new plotline at the start of each new novella.  I think this is unavoidable though; it’s just the inherent property of three novellas posing as a single novel.

 

    I’ll keep my eyes peeled when I’m roaming the used-book stores for the other two books in this series.  If they too are a combination of novellas, I’ll probably give them a pass.  But if they are written as actual novels, this is a series worth reading more about.

 

    6½ Stars.  One last thing.  Every human’s surname is simply “Smith”.  A few have first names, but most humans just have a modifying adjective added for clarity’s sake.  Examples: “Old Smith”, “Young Smith”, “Mrs. Smith”.  Surprisingly, the inhabitants of Kage Baker's world don't find it confusing at all.

British Mammals - Richard Herley

   2024; 355 pages.  New Author? : No.  Genres : Satire; British Fiction; Family Life; Romance.  Overall Rating : 8*/10.

 

    Take Colin Forrest’s advice: never break off a romantic relationship with an Albanian girl.

 

    Well, let’s tweak that just a bit.  Never break things off with an Albanian girl who has three psycho brothers who now feel you’ve dishonored their entire family and are about to come looking for you with guns and fists.

 

    It’s time for Colin to “disappear” into the hinterlands of England.  Maybe find a job up in the Norfolk area, and lay low for a while.  Make sure your name and picture don’t appear in any newspaper, at least until those three brothers quit searching for you and go back to Tirana.

 

    And for heaven’s sake, if an attractive girl crosses your path, don’t fall in love with her.

 

What’s To Like...

    Full disclosure: at its heart, British Mammals is a Romance novel.  But if you’re a male reader, don’t run away yet, there’s also a bit of violence in the tale, several dysfunctional characters to keep the personal interactions tense, and lots of nudity.

 

    The book is written in English, not American, and even though I’ve read plenty of British novels, there were oodles of new “Britishisms” in the text for me.  The most exquisite one is given below, but there were dozens more, such as: drumby, bint, twigged, posh totty, moggy, dekko, fizgig, wigging, yonks, hent, and coo, the last two of which I never did suss out.  I’m a language nut, so I loved all these new words.  There was even an Albanian phrase!  When’s the last time you ran into that language in a book?

 

    Colin finds a job as a groundsman at a resort called Bubthorpe Pines, which he thinks is a perfect low-stress, low-profile job.  Alas for him, and happily for the reader, such is not the case.  The resort is on shaky financial ground, and continued employment at the resort, for both the top dogs and the bottom-rung laborers, is iffy.  Tempers are short, solutions are few, and nudist resorts are losing popularity.

 

    I liked the nudism angle; it gives the opportunity for some comic relief in the storyline.  Resort employees, thankfully, do not have to "undress accordingly", but they do have to "bare witness" (pun intended) and cater to middle-aged practitioners who are developing wrinkles and sagginess.  Activities such as “beach cricket” and weddings take on a whole new aspect when done without clothes.

 

  As always with a Richard Herley novel, the character-building is excellent.  Each person's make-up is unique.  One of the main characters is a successful novelist, but presently dealing with some e-book issues at Amazon.  I appreciated the insights Richard Herley provides about e-publishing in general, and suspect he is drawing upon his firsthand experiences.

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Playing Gooseberry (phrase) : an unwanted third party in a situation where two people want to be alone.

Others: many, many more.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.5/5 based on 2 ratings and 1 review.

    Goodreads: 4.50/5 based on 2 ratings and 1 review.

 

Kindle Details…

    British Mammals currently sells for $2.99 at Amazon. Richard Herley offers about 16 e-books for your Kindle; they range in price from $0.99 to $3.67.  He recently discounted his entire catalog of e-books to $0.99 apiece, which I greatly appreciated and used to grab a couple more of his novels.

 

Excerpts...

    ”What’s he like?  Do you fancy him?”

    “No.”

    “Surely there must be some eligible male somewhere on Earth who can melt the ice in your veins.  What, O frozen-hearted maiden, undisputed queen of the polar north, does he look like?”

    “Tall but not too tall, blond, with no hint of a man-bun.”

    “Do you find him handsome?”

    “Sufficiently.”

    “Amy!  Your fervour astounds me!  So you’re made of flesh and blood like the rest of us!  Have you been drinking in secret?  Antifreeze, I mean.”  (loc. 558)

 

    “Do you?”

    “Do I what?”

    “Think about the future?”

    “Sometimes.”

    “What do you think about it?”

    ”It’s worrying,” Benny decided.  “I worry about the future.  Of the Pines, I mean, and other things.”

    “Surely the future will be like the past.  It always has been, for as long as I can remember.  I mean. What was the future becomes the present and as soon as it does that it becomes the past.  There’s not much difference between them, all three of them, except that in the present one is present and in the past and future one is not.”

    This was an unusually long and profound disquisition on Effy’s part.  (loc. 1737)

 

Trying to pin Effy down on any topic was like knitting fog.  (loc. 2115)

    There's a moderate amount of cussing in British Mammals.  I counted 21 instances in the first 20% of the book, most of which were f-bombs and uttered by two of the characters, Tez and Bert.

 

    I was surprised by the abruptness of the ending.  The tension builds as the various plotlines are cleverly brought together, but things end with just one of them being resolved, and even that one was done verbally.  Yes, I could deduce how the other ones would likely be tied up, but it would have been nice to have those wrap-ups confirmed, or even better, subject to some plot twists.  Perhaps these storylines will all be addressed in a sequel.  One can hope.

 

    Enough of the quibbling.  The romance in British Mammals could have easily become a slog for me, but fortunately Richard Herley’s storytelling and writing skills kept me turning the pages.  I loved his depictions of the English lifestyle, especially on topics such as class structures, the institution of marriage, and ecological considerations, such as deforestation to build housing developments.  British Mammals was a delightful read for me, and I look forward to the author's next novel.

 

    8 Stars.  One last thing.  Let’s hear it for NIMBY finding its way into the text here.  It's one of my favorite acronyms!