Mythology 101 - Jody Lynn Nye

   2014; 317 pages.  Book 1 (out of 4) in the “Mythology” series.  New Author? : No.  Genres : Humorous Fantasy; College Life; YA.  Overall Rating : 6*/10.

 

    Midwestern University only has enough money to do one upgrade: a new library or a new Phys. Ed building, and the Student Council gets to choose which one!

 

    For academically-inclined Keith Doyle, a member of the council, the choice is easy.  Renovate the library.  After all, the reason people go to college is to get an education, not to exercise.  Needless to say, there are a bunch of athletically-inclined students who feel otherwise.  But Keith is pretty sure his side has the votes for an upgrade of old Gillington library.

 

    One thing does surprise him – the stance of his dormmate Carl.  Carl’s not here on an athletic scholarship so why’s he campaigning so strongly for the new gymnasium option?

 

    Even more strange, Carl’s making it sound like the vote’s a matter of life and death.

 

What’s To Like...

    The book’s cover gives you a good idea of what the situation is in Mythology 101.  Gillington Library’s problem is not bats in the belfry; it’s elves in the basement.  They’ve been there for a long time (by Big Folk standards), and via a lot of stealth and magic, they’ve remained undetected.  A few of the human students are aware of them, though, and Keith soon becomes of those.

 

    Renovating will doubtless lead to the discovery of the Little Folk, and the main plotline of Mythology 101 is Keith pondering what he can do about that.  Other plot threads include Keith presently flunking his Sociology class, and in desperate need of some tutoring.  To boot, he’s residing in a men’s dormitory, which means dealing with other male egos, occasionally having his dorm room trashed, and almost zero social contact with female students.

 

    Indeed, the “feel” to college life here rang true.  I spent two years in dorms in my college career, and Keith’s issues brought back old memories.  I liked the setting of Midwestern University, it's located somewhere in Illinois, and I suspect Jody Lynn Nye used Northwestern University as her model for Midwestern.  Dorm life involves getting along with RA’s (“Resident Advisers”), eating very blah food in the cafeteria, and trying to not flunk out of school.

 

    The resolution of the elves-in-the-basement was logical and straightforward.  I wouldn’t call it twisty, but have to admit Keith’s solution to the problem was not what I was expecting.  Book Two, Mythology Abroad, awaits me on my Kindle.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.2*/5, based on 915 ratings and 206 reviews.

    Goodreads: 3.76*/5, based on 1,097 ratings and 101 reviews.

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Geas (n.) : an obligation or prohibition magically imposed on someone (Irish folklore).

 

Excerpts...

    “I wouldn’t call a C a failure,” Keith said, jumping forward to open the door for her and following her out into the brisk October air.  Leaves swirled away from their feet as they dashed across the narrow streets toward McInroe Hall.  “I’m a B man myself.  I do get A’s but I don’t expect 'em.  If you’re not in the front line you don’t get shot as often.”  (pg. 9)

 

    “So what’s wrong with using nails?”  Not that he could see any in the construction.

    “They rust.  They bend.  Also, we tend to be a wee bit sensitive to having too much metal around.”

    “I heard that cold iron dispels magic,” Keith said teasingly.  “Maybe that’s why you don’t use it.”

    “And maybe the effect is more like heavy metal poisoning, Keith Doyle.  Call it an allergy.  Don’t look for foolish explanations unless no others suffice.  There’s plenty of common sense to go around.  Even you could find some.”

    “I believe in magic,” Keith said softly.  (pg. 81)

 

Kindle Details…

    Mythology 101 sells for $7.99 right now at Amazon, as do the other three books in the series.  Jody Lynn Nye has several other Fantasy e-book series for your reading pleasure, most of which are priced at $6.99 per e-book.  She has collaborated with an impressive list of fellow authors, including Robert Asprin and Anne McCaffrey.

 

“The trouble with you is that you have a basically honest heart.”  (pg. 86)

    The cussing is very light: just seven instances in the first 20%, none of which were f-bombs.  There is a hint of Romance, but no adult situations, the norm for males living in dorms.  It will be interesting to see how Keith’s love life plays out in subsequent books.

 

    There were a couple of typos – stationary/stationery, Crazy/crazy, and lighting/lightning – but not enough to be distracting.

 

    The bigger issue for me was the storytelling.  It’s hard to imagine a tale with elves intermixing with college students being boring and slow-paced, but that’s what happened.  The negative reviews at Amazon and Goodreads show that others felt the same way and you’d think when you have elven magic at your disposal, tying up the various plot threads would be exciting.  It wasn’t.

 

    But things are looking up.  The ratings for the books in this series are:

Book 1 (Mythology 101): Amazon 4.2; Goodreads 3.76.

Book 2 (Mythology Abroad): Amazon 4.6; Goodreads 4.02.

Book 3 (Higher Mythology): Amazon 4.5; Goodreads 4.04.

Book 4 (Advanced Mythology): Amazon 4.7; Goodreads 4.22.

 

    Methinks this series is going to get better as I work my way through it.

 

    6 Stars.  One last thing.  Pennsylvania Dutch Hex Symbols get mentioned twice in Mythology 101.  I was born and raised in that area.  It’s good to see our hex signs are still remembered.

The Bone Witch - Rin Chupeco

   2017; 412 pages.  Book 1 (out of 3) in the “Bone Witch” series.  New Author? : Yes.  Genres : Paranormal Fantasy; Teen & Young Adult, Coming-of-Age.   Overall Rating: 8/10.

 

    It was undoubtedly the saddest day so far in Tea’s brief life.  She and her family had to watch as the casket containing her older brother, Fox, was solemnly lowered into the ground.  He died while serving in the kingdom’s army.  “By creatures unknown” the general said.  Most likely he was attacked by one of those ferocious daeva beasts.

 

    It isn’t fair, Tea thought, he isn’t really dead.  She broke away from the group of mourners and ran toward the grave.  Suddenly a fiery symbol appeared in the air in front of her, and she felt the compulsion to trace it with her finger, again and again.

 

    Then the ground trembled, splintering was heard, and a cold, gray hand pushed up from the grave into the air.  Tea can summon up the dead, which means her magic is that of a bone witch, a perilous and often feared vocation.

 

    So not only is this the saddest day of your life, Tea.  It’ll probably be your worst day as well.

 

What’s To Like...

    Let me be clear, I never intended to raise my brother from his grave, though he may claim otherwise.

 

    Is that a fantastic opening line for a book, or what!  The Bone Witch is the first book in Rin Chupeco’s dark fantasy Bone Witch trilogy.  The series is set in a place called “The Eight Kingdoms” which are situated throughout a group of islands, and whose rulers spend most of their time fighting either the evil “Faceless Ones” or amongst themselves.

 

    I loved the worldbuilding.  The use of magic is common, and wielded mostly, but not solely, in the hands of women, who are called “asha”.  Rulers of the Eight Kingdoms are just as likely to be females as males.  People wear something called “heartglasses” around their necks, glass medallions that change color depending on their wearer's mood, veracity, and/or the type of magic they can command.  Girls who show spellcasting potential enter schools in their teenage years and besides magic, are taught things like history, dancing, singing and fighting.

 

    The tale is written in the first-person POV, Tea’s.  31 chapters cover 412 pages, with short interludes chronicling a second, more recent, storyline in between each chapter.  More on that in a bit.  For the most part, we follow the lives of Tea as she trains to be a full-fledged bone witch.  The Eight Kingdoms are running rather short of them.  Fox's new lease on undeath is also a major plotline, as he takes on the role of Protector of his sister.

 

    Some thrills-and-spills arise along the way, but mainly this is a character-driven, coming-of-age account.  Tea struggles with her studies, Fox struggles with his undeadness, rulers struggle to keep their kingdoms in existence, and asha struggle to not get killed by beasts, swords, or sorcery.

 

    The ending is good, with a couple neat twists, and a tense battle featuring both spells and brawn.  Sometimes might accomplishes what magic fails at doing.  The story stops at a logical place, and sets up, I presume, the next book in the series.

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Bezoar (n.) : a small, stony concretion that may form in the stomachs of certain animals, especially ruminants.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.4*/5, based on 3,433 ratings and 554 reviews.

    Goodreads: 3.69*/5, based on 44,739 ratings and 7,063 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    “Parmina?”  It wasn’t a voice; it was a roar that could have rattled glass, though none of the people running around so much as blinked.  The largest and hairiest man I had ever seen in my life stepped into view.  He was so tall that the top of his hair grazed the ceiling, and his arms looked as if a brown bear had mated with the fuzziest carpet in the land and produced twins.  I could barely see his face, for his beard started somewhere near his eyebrows and ended at a carefully trimmed point several inches away from his chin, at the center of his chest.  (pg. 128)

 

    “Are you sure about this?” she asked me in a softer whisper as the other Deathseekers began making their preparations.  “We’re treading in unknown territory, and I’d hate to die on a ‘maybe.’”

    “The runes may not work, but I can still sense it.  And I was able to control it to some extent back in Ankyo.”

    “I hope you know what you’re doing,” Zoya said from behind us.

    “As I recall, you insisted on coming,” Polaire pointed out.

    “It’s never too late to regret things.”  (pg. 367)

 

“You think in the same way men drink, Tea, . . . far too much—under the delusion it is too little.”  (pg. 2)

    I only recall one cussword in the entire book, which fully justifies Amazon labelling it as a YA book.  There are no “adult situations” either, although I suspect there is some Romance headed Tea’s way.

 

    Rin Chupeco incorporates a lot of made-up words (such as asha) into the text, and defines each one the first time it is used.  I thought it really helped make the fantasy setting feel “real”.  There’s a map of the Eight Kingdoms at the start of the book, and brief descriptions of each realm in the back.  But it would’ve been nice to also have a Glossary back there for easy reference as to the invented vocabulary.

 

    One character displays transgender traits.  I felt this was a nice, daring touch by the author.  It was deftly done, and I’m hoping that person will have a recurring role in the saga.  But homophobes should probably avoid this series.

 

    Overall, I enjoyed The Bone Witch.  Character-driven plotlines are usually not my cup of Tea (pun intended, and the protagonist's name is pronounced differently), but here there was enough magic, fighting, and fascinating beasts and characters to keep me turning the pages.  Now that Tea is a fully-accredited asha, (Which isn't a spoiler.  You knew that would happen.) I’m looking for some serious butt-kicking and spellcasting to show up in the sequel, The Heart Forger.  Rin Chupeco has written several other intriguing fantasy series that I'm eager to get acquainted with. 

 

    8 Stars.  One last thing.  Deities play a very small part in this tale.  Three of them, Dancing Wind, Blade That Soars, and Great World Spirit, are mentioned, but have virtually zero impact on the goings-on.  It will be interesting to see how this aspect plays out as the series progresses.

Graves' End - Sean Patrick Traver

   2012; 353 pages.  New Author? : Yes.  Full Title: Graves’ End: A Magical Thriller.  Genres: Paranormal Fantasy; Thriller; Pulp Fiction.  Overall Rating : 8*/10.

 

    They make for an odd trio.  Tomas Delgado, aka “Black Tom” is a former necromancer.  Nowadays his specialty is entering as a spirit into cats of all sizes, from alley cat to panther.

 

    Lia is a child of the streets.  She picks locks and scrounges dumpsters for food and shelter.  She’s going to learn how to be a witch, with Black Tom as her mentor.

 

    Dexter Graves is a Hollywood detective.  Or more accurately, was one.  Sixty years ago, someone put a bullet through his skull.  He’s been dead and buried since then.  Until now.

 

    Their paths have crossed, and somebody’s noticed.  Mictlantecuhtli.  Aztec king of the Dead.  That name’s a doozy, so let’s call him Mickey Hardface.  He’s sending some of his cohorts their way.

 

    It won’t be a social call.

 

What’s To Like...

    Graves’ End is set in the greater northern Los Angeles area, primarily in the San Fernando and Hollywood neighborhoods.  That resonated with me, since I lived close to there for three summers many years ago.  The story's world is slightly paranormal.  You may encounter skeletons, witches, crouchers, archons, or a tzitzimime or two, but only on rare occasions.  And of course, there’s at least one ancient Aztec deity running around.

 

    The “present day” storyline takes place over a Halloween holiday weekend, starting on Halloween night, then on into All Saints’ Day, All Souls’ Day, and the all-important Dia de los Muertos.  There are also flashbacks to 1910, 1950, and 2000 CE, plus a brief stop in 1949 in the Epilogue.

 

    I loved the character-building.  Lia, Tom, and Dex are as diverse as a trio of protagonists can be.  The secondary characters and Mickey’s minions all have their own personality, and even the God of the Dead Himself has some redeeming qualities.

 

    You’ll learn a bunch of Spanish slang, including one or two a cuss-phrases, the oft-used “brujachica”, and the ultra-colloquial “esé”. The party-dance was way-cool, and I liked the artistic nods to Tolkien and Jackson Pollock.  I chuckled at the way palindromes and the value “pi” got worked into the storyline.

 

    The ending was suitably exciting, twisty, and heartwarming.  The climactic fight scene was appropriately epic.  Not everyone lives to fright another day (pun intended), yet all the plotlines get tied up and a new day dawns for the world outside.

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Entoptic (adj.) : (of visual images) occurring or originating inside the eye.

Others: Melanistic (adj.).

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.3*/5, based on 107 ratings and 65 reviews.

    Goodreads: 3.74*/5, based on 186 ratings and 25 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    Graves looked down at his own fleshless phalanges.  “I keep forgettin’ I’m not as pretty as I used to be,” he said quietly, by way of apology.

    Lia felt guilty enough about her discourtesy to a guest that she began to protest automatically, in spite of her genuine consternation.  “No, no, it isn’t that,” she said, groping for words even though she wasn’t sure what she meant to say.  The man was a walking cadaver, after all, and Miss Manners was sure to be silent on subjects like these.  No index entry for ‘undeadiquette’,’ Lia would’ve wagered.  (pg. 84).

 

    There was nowhere left for him to go.  He held up his hands to fend them off, and he got them to pause before pouncing on him, which Lia found surprising.

    “Whoa, now—” he said.  Who the hell are you two?  What happened to those other ones, Hannah and Miss Lia?”

    “You will call me Lady Night,” the nightsky outline told him.  She indicated her static-filled friend, who was standing there beside her.  “This, my sister-daughter, is Lady Madness.”

    “Sister-daughter, huh?  That must make for some weird Thanksgivings.”  (pg. 122)

 

Kindle Details…

    Graves’ End costs $2.99 at Amazon right now.  A sequel, Red Witch: The Tales of Ingrid Redstone, which I gather is actually three novellas (364 pages total), is available for $2.99 as well.  Sean Patrick Traver offers three other novellas, unrelated to this setting, one for $2.99, the other two for $0.99 apiece.

 

 “After dark, all cats are leopards.”  (pg. 293)

    The profanity in Graves’ End wasn’t excessive—I counted just 12 instances in the first 10% of the e-book, albeit two of those were f-bombs.  The smidgens of Spanish profanity came later on in the story, and at one point there’s a brief reference to a “bag of mota” which brought back memories.  I don’t recall any "adult situations".

 

    At least one reviewer was turned off by the author’s use of “big” words (such as the two listed above) and sometimes “made-up” ones (such as “nightsky” used in the second excerpt).  I noticed that too, but I thought it worked rather well.  Other reviewers thought there weren't action scenes and thrills in the early going.  Maybe so, but I thought all the aim of the storytelling was for the reader to follow the characters around in their befuddlement, trying to figure out what the heck is going on, and which gets revealed nicely in the ending.

 

    Sean Patrick Traver calls Graves’ End a Magical Thriller; Amazon calls it Paranormal & Urban Fantasy, and I’d label it Pulp Fiction.  All are equally valid.  The book kept my interest from beginning to end, and that’s what matters.  Plus I loved the attention given to Mesoamerican mythology throughout the tale.

 

    8 Stars.  One last thing.  In the “Retrospective #2” section, Sean Patrick Traver gives a vivid description of the early beginnings of Los Angeles.  I was absolutely blown away by the “feel” of his research.  Maybe someday he’ll write a full-length novel set in that place and time-period.

My Hitch in Hell - Lester I. Tenney

   1995; 210 pages.  Full Title: My Hitch in Hell – The Bataan Death March.  New Author? : Yes.  Genres : World War 2; Military history; Memoirs; Non-Fiction.  Overall Rating: 9*/10.

 

    The Bataan Death March.  It was perhaps even more of a shock to the “American Invincibility” myth than our country's initial World War 2 event: the surprise bombing of Pearl Harbor.

 

    Because the Death March came on the heels of something unthinkable: the complete surrender of the American forces stationed on the Bataan peninsula of the Philippines.  Americans surrendering?  To those sneaky Japanese?  Perish the thought.

 

    The Death March became a catalyst for intense hatred by America against Japan, and an effective recruitment tool.  Lots of books have been written about it, written by lots of authors.  Lester I. “Ten Spot” Tenney is one of them.  But he stands apart from the other writers in one crucial way.

 

    Lester Tenney was a participant in, and a survivor of, the Bataan Death March.

 

What’s To Like...

    As the book's subtitle suggests, the Bataan Death March certainly is the highlight of My Hitch in Hell, and the longest chapter is devoted to it.  However, that catastrophic event only lasted eight days (April 9-17, 1942), and this book actually chronicles Lester Tenney’s full 4-year stint of overseas US military service, 3½ years of which was spent as a POW of the Japanese.

 

    I was impressed by Tenney’s even-handed “ground-level view” of the fight for the Philippines.  It is portrayed in our history books as a noble sacrifice of the American forces to slow down the Japanese advance.  But snafus abounded (see Chapter 2 and the first excerpt below), and if you were part of the units being sacrificed, facing death, torture, starvation, and brutal beatings (see second excerpt below), you might more abandoned than noble.

 

    I was pleasantly surprised to find the rest of the book just as interesting as the Death March itself.  Lester Tenney’s decision to join a local National Guard unit in 1940 eventually resulted in his being stationed in the Far East.  After the Death March and captivity in two POW camps in the Philippines, he was shipped off to Japan itself to endure barbaric conditions while working in a coal mine.  Freed only once the war ended, the latter chapters recount his repatriation and return to the US, in some ways just as excruciating as his POW ordeals.

 

    It was enlightening to see the steps Lester took to keep his sanity intact and his spirits up.  One of his tricks was to learn some basic Japanese phrases from his captors so he could understand what they were screaming about.  It also helped to keep a mental image of his wife, in order to have something to motivate him to stay alive.

 

    There were lighter moments as well.   Lester sets up a craps game while on the prison ship headed to Japan, which eased everyone’s mind since allied submarines were torpedoing any and all boats flying the Rising Sun flag and the Japanese refused to mark prison ships with Red Cross markings.  At the POW camp in Japan he helped set up, with the permission of the commandant, a musical talent show titled “The Ziegfeld Follies of 1944”.  He also arranged a sort of  black market goods-exchange system where items were bartered between both POW and Japanese patrons, with the middle man (Lester) charging an “agent’s fee”.

 

    The ending is bittersweet.  Lester comes home to a postwar America that has changed a lot in the five years he’s been away.  His wife Laura also has changed, and that needs attending to, especially since they had married in secret.  War is hell, even for the victors.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.7*/5, based on 220 ratings and 98 reviews.

    Goodreads: 4.35*/5, based on 399 ratings and 62 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    We still did not have any training on the new tanks.  While we were in Honolulu, our commander tried to borrow two 37mm (the types mounted in our new tanks) and enough ammunition to practice from our transport deck while en route to the Philippines; but post ordnance in Hawaii refused this request.  When our tank unit arrived in the Philippines, we asked for the use of a firing range so that we could become familiar with the weapons mounted in our new tanks.  This request was also denied.  Therefore, it was not until the Japanese bombers and Zeros came over Clark Field that we were able to get in our “practice.”  On-the-job training does not work very well under these conditions.  (pg. 19)

 

    One of the men had a very bad case of malaria and had barely made it to the rest area.  He was burning up with fever and severely disoriented.  When ordered to stand up, he could not do it.  Without a minute’s hesitation, the guard hit him over the head with the butt of his gun, knocked him down to the ground, and then called for two nearby prisoners to start digging a hole to bury the fallen prisoner.  The two men started digging, and when the hole was about a foot deep, the guard ordered the two men to place the sick man in the hole and bury him alive.  The two men shook their heads; they could not do that.

    Once again without warning, and without any effort to settle the problem any other way, the guard shot the bigger of the two prisoners.  (pg. 57)

 

“Anyone can learn Japanese in ten easy beatings.”  (pg. 100)

    There’s not a lot of profanity in My Hitch in Hell, which surprised me, given the gruesome settings.  I noted just 8 instances in the first 50% of the book, and these were of the "milder" ilk.  This was helped by the author often choosing non-vulgar options when he was able, such as defecate, urinate, bowels, anus, feces, and others.

 

    There were some negative reviews at Amazon for this book.  Some people wondered whether the author “tweaked” some events to make himself look good.  That’s possible, but hey, that could be true in any autobiography, and I’d counter that quite often Lester suffers beatings for getting caught doing something underhanded, or for no reason at all other than Japanese barbarity.  Others thought the writing was rather amateurish.  They have a point, but I thought it added to the realism of the account.

 

    For me, My Hitch in Hell was a brutal and eye-opening read.  I’ve read about the Bataan Death March in my history books.  It’s quite different to “see” it through the eyes of one who survived it.

 

    9 Stars.  One last thing.  On pages 211-213 in the back of the book there's an Appendix listing the 80 servicemen in Lester Tenney’s unit who didn’t make it back, along with (where known) their place, date, and cause of death.  It made for a sobering read.

Burglars Can't Be Choosers - Lawrence Block

   1977; 294 pages.  Book 1 (out of 11) in the “Bernie Rhodenbarr” series.  New Author? : No.  Genres : Hard Boiled Mysteries; Crime-Humor.  Overall Rating : 8½*/10.

 

    Sooner or later, even the most careful burglar gets caught in the act.  Bernie Rhodenbarr is a case in point.

 

    The job seemed like an easy one.  Break into an apartment, rifle a desk, steal a blue box.  Someone’s willing to pay him $5,000 to do that.

 

    The guy who lives there, a patron of the arts, is guaranteed to be out that night, attending a show.  Still, Bernie is taking no chances; he rings the doorbell several times before picking the locks on the door.  There’s no answer, which confirms that no one is home, and Bernie is quickly inside and searching through the desk.

 

    That’s when several bad things happen.  First, two policemen come barging through the door, catch Bernie in the act, and read him his rights.  Second, one of the cops checks the back bedroom—something Bernie hadn’t bothered to do because no one answered the doorbell.

 

    It turns out there’s a corpse in there, with its head bashed in.

 

What’s To Like...

    Burglars Can’t Be Choosers is the opening book in Lawrence Block’s “Bernie Rhodenbarr” series featuring a lovable and adept burglar as the narrator and protagonist.  Despite this being his literary debut, Bernie is experienced in his vocation, well-known to some of the police, and has even served a jail sentence for getting caught once in the past.

 

    The story takes place in New York City, the author’s stomping grounds, and I really liked the Gotham “feel” to it.  As you might in a series where the burglar is the hero, the tone is lighthearted and humorous.  The title reference, at 20%, is one of Bernie’s wry views on life.

 

    Unsurprisingly, Bernie manages to avoid being thrown in jail and quickly begins his own investigation into the mystery.  Who is the unfortunate victim in the bedroom?  Why did someone kill him?  Who and why did somebody set Bernie up to take the rap for the murder?  Why  couldn't he find the blue box?

 

    Bernie’s efforts are hampered by the fact that he’s a wanted man and he can safely assume that the NYPD is watching his apartment.  On the flipside, his lockpicking skills allow him easy entry into just about any place he wants to look for clues.  And, as usual (this is my fifth Bernie book), a sultry female is worked into the storyline and gives him sleuthing assistance plus other added benefits.

 

    The ending is above-average.  The case is solved thanks to two key clues.  One clue is there for both Bernie and the reader to notice and later slap their foreheads for failing to recognize its importance.  The other clue Bernie keeps to himself and only reveals it during the accusation scene.  There are a couple of kewl plot twists, one of which occurs after the perp is identified and the case closed.

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Momser (n.) : a contemptible person (Yiddish).

Others: Loid (v.); Bokhara (n.); Gama-Houche (n.; obs.).

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.2/5 based on 1,074 ratings. and 172 reviews.

    Goodreads: 3.82/5 based on 7,173 ratings and 606 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    A funny thing.  The better your building, the higher your monthly rental, the more efficient your doorman, why, the easier it’s going to be to crack your apartment.  People who live in unattended walkups in Hell’s Kitchen will fasten half a dozen deadbolt locks to their doors and add a Segal police lock for insurance.  Tenement dwellers take it for granted that junkies will come to kick their doors in and strong-arm types will rip the cylinders out of their locks, so they make things as secure as they possibly can.  But if the building itself is set up as to intimidate your garden variety snatch-and-grab artist, then most tenants make do with the lock the landlord provides.  (pg. 4)

 

    “I’m relatively new at harboring fugitives but I’ll do my best to harbor you in the style to which you are accustomed.  Is it called harboring a fugitive if you do it in somebody else’s apartment?”

    “It’s called accessory after the fact to homicide,” I said.

    “That sounds serious.”

    “It ought to.”  (pg. 102)

 

Kindle Details…

    Burglars Can’t Be Choosers goes for $8.99 at Amazon right now.  Most of the other e-books in the series are that price as well, with two exceptions; one at $8.49 and one at $4.99.

 

“I thought you never lie.”  “I occasionally tell an expeditious untruth.”  (pg. 119)

    There’s a fair amount of cussing in Burglars Can’t Be Choosers.  I counted 23 instances in the first 20% of the book, most of which are of the “mild” variety.  Later on, at least one f-bomb shows up.  There are also a couple of rolls-in-the-hay, but those are tastefully done.

 

    The typos were few and far between.  Things like orbungling/or bungling and sub-liminal/subliminal.  I strongly suspect these cropped up in the “book-to-ebook” conversion stage.

 

    That’s about all I can gripe about.  Burglars Can’t Be Choosers is a well-written, enjoyable story where both the Mystery aspect and the Humor aspect shine.  I’m not reading this series in order, and I don’t think I’m losing anything because of that.  If you’re familiar with, and happen to like Donald Westlake’s “Dortmunder” series, you’ll love Bernie Rhodenbarr.

 

    8½ Stars.   One last thing.  At around 25% the Latin phrase “de mortuis” is used.  I’d never heard of it so had to look it up.  The full saying is “de mortuis nil nisi bonum”, which apparently is a famous phrase.  I took two years of Latin in school, and if you saw my grades in those classes, you’d realize why I couldn’t suss out the translation without Google’s help.

Any Day Now - Terry Bisson

   2018; 344 pages.  New Author? : No.  Genres : Alternate History; Coming of Age Fiction; The 1960s.  Overall Rating : 5½*/10.

 

    It’s the 1950s, and all over the USA, the times they are a-changin’.

 

    You can hear it on the radio.  The “big band” music of the two previous decades is being replaced by a new sound that makes you want to snap your fingers and move your feet.  They call it “jazz” for whatever reason.

 

    Clayton “Clay” Bewley Bauer’s was just in grade school back then, in a small town called Calhoun, Kentucky; just outside the much bigger city of Owensboro.  His future, like all those in the Bewley clan, is already set in place:

    Graduate from high school,

    Graduate from Vanderbilt,

    Get a job in upper management somewhere.

 

    That sounds good.  The trouble is, that’s the “old way”, and Clay yearns to be part of those times that are a-changin’.

 

What’s To Like...

    In Any Day Now we follow Clay through three phases of his life.  Let’s call the first one his “Jazz Phase”, in the late 50s, wherein high-schooler Clay is introduced to new music from his friends and new ideas in the science-fiction books he reads voraciously.

 

    The next one is his college years in the early 60s; and we’ll label this his “Beatnik Phase”.  Clay eschews his family's tradition of attending Vanderbilt and instead opts for a small college in Minnesota.  But he soon drops out of there and moves to New York to be part of the Beat Scene and fulfill his career dream of becoming a poet.  His third phase is his “Commune Phase”, set in the late 60s and early 70s, after he moves out west and embraces the hippie lifestyle, including partaking of lots of recreational substances.

 

    The storyline resonated with me in several ways.  Clay’s approximately the same age as I am; we both spent our childhoods in small towns; and both had our long-haired, “Peace-Love-Dove” counterculture days.  To be honest, though, I never was tempted to go live in a commune.

 

    The first half of the book is Clay's Coming-of-Age saga, and felt like Terry Bisson was incorporating parts of his youth into the story.  One example: both the author and the protagonist were born and raised in Owensboro, Kentucky.  At that point I was disappointed that there wasn’t a bit of the Alternative History that the Amazon blurb promised.  Then abruptly, around 50% Kindle, a timeline anomaly pops up, and leads to a very different world that's going to sorely test Clay’s ideals.

 

    The ending is so-so.  After some exciting events in the “commune community”, Clay gets a much-needed rest.  But nothing is resolved, which makes me wonder if Terry Bisson intended to one day write a sequel to this.  Alas, it won’t happen.  Terry passed away in January 2024, and Wikipedia lists Any Day Now as his final full-length novel.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.1/5 based on 24 ratings and 11 reviews.

    Goodreads: 3.36/5 based on 189 ratings and 38 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    "It has to be real jazz,” said Clay.

    “So what’s real jazz?” Ruth Ann asked.  They were sitting on the hood of the Ford with the motor cooling underneath, still warm on their bottoms.

    “Felonious Monk, Charles Mingles, Billy Ladyday,” said Clay.  “Very experimental stuff.  But it has to swing.  White people don’t do it as well.  Coal Train is good.”  (loc. 447)

 

    They were calling themselves Redeemers.  They wore masks on TV and talked about freedom.

    “The freedom to burn things,” Rotella said.

    They burned bridges in Indiana, barns in Idaho, buses in Detroit, cars and crosses in Georgia, and two kidnapped King’s Men in a locked shed in Illinois.  MLK called them misguided pawns; the UN called them terrorists.

    “Terrorism in the defense of liberty is no vice,” said Haig.  “It’s time the silent majority spoke up for America.”

    “Got a light?” muttered Clay.  (loc. 3649)

 

Kindle Details…

    The Kindle version of Any Day Now is presently priced at $9.99 at Amazon, which is rather steep.  Other Terry Bisson e-books are in the $2.99-$9.99 range.  It appears that a number of the author’s best-known works, such as Bears Discover Fire, are not yet available in e-book format.

 

Ernest was a rich kid working at being poor.  (loc. 862)

    There’s a fair amount of profanity in Any Day Now.  I counted 22 instances in the first 20%, but to be fair, half of those were the n-word racial epithet, which was mostly used to show Clay didn’t like the word, even though it was used frequently in the 1950s.

 

    Recreational drug usage is one of Clay’s frequent habits, and is generally presented in a positive and/or humorous way here, such as learning how “hold in” a toke, and how to properly prepare peyote before partaking of it.  I thought Clay’s first acid trip was presented particularly well.  Gay people are a common occurrence in both the Beat Scene and the hippie communes.  So if you’re a homophobe, you probably should skip this book.

 

    My biggest issue with Any Day Now is the storytelling.  Terry Bisson’s writing style is good, but the plotline doesn’t go anywhere or reach any conclusion.  Plus the previously mentioned genre-switch at the halfway point didn’t work at all for me.  Moreover, judging from the extremely low Goodreads ratings and several reviews there, I’m not the only one that felt this way.

 

    Despite that, I enjoyed Any Day Now, presumably because I could relate to so many of Clay’s experiences and have enjoyed so many of his sci-fi novels.  So let’s just call this one an ambitious and noble literary experiment that didn’t work.  RIP, Terry Bisson.  Your devoted fans dearly miss you.

 

    5½ Stars.  One last thing.  At one point during his Beat Phase, Clay goes to hear a 1950s hipster speaker by the name of Lord Buckley.  If you’ve never heard of him, go to YouTube and listen to some of his routines.  You will be amazed.

Captain Hawklin At War - Charles F. Millhouse

   2024; 504 pages.  New Author? : No.  Book #11 (out of 11) in the Captain Hawklin Adventures series.  Genres : Pulp Fiction; World War 2; Military Fiction.  Overall Rating: 9*/10.

 

    It’s 1940 and Americans can smell the smoke of the second World War in the wind.  Which is not surprising since much of Europe and Asia are already embroiled in fighting.

 

    Captain Steven Hawklin’s friends and fellow Crusaders are scattered all over the globe.  Hardy Miller is in Crown City, California attending to the business affairs of Hawklin’s flight school.  Desa Wintergreen is in Paris, on some sort of mission so secret that she won’t even divulge the details to Steven.

 

    Who knows where Steven’s friend and fellow American Zane Carrington is?  He could be anywhere on the Pacific Ocean, hiding out so he doesn’t get arrested and put on trial in America for murder.

 

    And Steven?  He and his longtime friend Oscar “Oz” Lyman are presently in a plane over a very hostile Japan, carrying out an affair of honor, while a bunch of Japanese Zero fighter planes try to shoot them down.

 

    In other words, Captain Hawklin is just doing his usual stuff.

 

What’s To Like...

    Captain Hawklin At War is the latest entry in Charles F. Millhouse’s “New Pulp” Captain Hawklin Adventures series.  The book is divided into six sections, each one spanning a year’s worth of dashing deeds, beginning in 1940 and closing with 1945.

 

    For the most part we tag along on the escapades of the characters mentioned above, switching from one hero to another, with the happy result of a ton of thrills, spills, and nefarious conniving, without any slow spots.  If you’re new to the series, like I was, there are some very helpful “Character Bios” at the start of the book, including one for a baddie I was especially intrigued by, Maximilian Odenthal.

 

    Each section starts with a quick recap of the historical World War 2 events that take place that year, but keep in mind that Captain Hawklin At War is a work of the Pulp Fiction genre.  Although clearly on the side of the allies, Captain Hawklin and his associates are battling the Nazis in a different, lesser-known arena: Occult Mysticism.  It may surprise some readers that there is historical justification for this, but several of the leading Nazis did dabble in it.  The Wikipedia link about this subject is here.

 

    I loved the character development in Captain Hawklin At War.  Yes, the Crusaders are all Pulp heroes, but they can get on each other’s nerves at times, and Hawklin himself can be short-tempered, especially when around high military/government muckamucks and/or his in-laws.  The two main female characters, Desa and Juno, are not the sort you want to be condescending to.  And Hawklin’s Crusaders are integrated, much to the discomfort of the US Navy.

 

    There are a slew of characters to meet and greet, some of which I’m sure are recurring from the earlier books in this series.  The bad guys are just as resourceful as the good guys, and I always like that.  I’m a history buff, so I appreciated the tie-ins to World War 2 events, but I’m also a sci-fi/fantasy enthusiast, so the pterodactyls, tree people, lizard men, and zombies delighted me as well.  I thought the catacombs scene was particularly well done.

 

    Despite their far-flung starting points, the main characters eventually come together for an exciting, action-packed ending.  The #1 bad guy, Sykes Revan, is a formidable opponent, whose planning and anticipation skills are incredible.  Anyone foolish or brave enough to confront him does so, knowing the outcome will be costly.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: -.-*/5, based on 0 ratings and 0 reviews.

    Goodreads: -.--*/5, based on 0 ratings and 0 reviews.

 

Kewlest New Word…

    Cataleptic (adj.) : resembling a condition where the body is stiff, and stops moving, as if dead.

 

Excerpts...

    “What’s your business here?” another English soldier asked as Zane and the others came nearer.

    Keeping his pistol leveled to the ground, Zane said, “I’m the captain of the Fortitude.  Just wanting to get my ship and get the hell out of here.”

    “You should have left hours ago,” the first soldier said as he lowered his rifle away.  “You’ll be lucky if you can clear the harbor before you’re blown out of the water.”

    “That’s a chance I’m willing to take,” Zane said.

    “Why are you Americans so pigheaded, ay?”

    “We come by it natural,” Zane replied.  (pg. 194)

 

    “Don’t let it get to you.  It’s war.”

    Hardy stood.  “It’s war,” he said in a dark tone as he turned away from the boy’s body.  He regarded Demonte in a fever pitch of ferocity.  “That one simple word with so much power, that gives us immunity from committing the most heinous of acts.  It’s war will be a phrase that criminals hide behind, that soldiers will tell themselves when medals are pinned to their chest.  How many of the dead will be forgotten, whittled down to, it is war?  How will history remember this time?  ‘It was war’ they will say.  But how many more wars will we have to face, huh.  How many more innocents will die behind the phrase, ‘’it’s war?’”  (pg. 382)

 

“Why is it, Max, that every time there’s a castle around, I find you lurking in it?”  (pg. 291)

    The profanity is sparse in Captain Hawklin At War.  I noticed just nine instances in the first 20% (100 pages) of the book, and they were all of the milder ilk.  I don’t recall any “adult situations”, and the one racial epithet later on is given its proper comeuppance by Oz.

 

    My main issue is the number of typos in the book.  Some examples: Oman/Orman, Oaf/Oof, flower/flour, Metals/Medals, distain/disdain, fare-shear/fair share, and many more.  I’d suggest another round of editing before the next edition is published.

 

    But enough of the quibbling.  Captain Hawklin At War is an incredibly ambitious undertaking by Charles F. Millhouse to: a.) chronicle the efforts of at least seven major characters over the course of entire Second World War and in all parts of the world; b.) do so with utter clarity and no slow spots; c.) seamlessly blend Military History with New Pulp Fantasy; and d.) keep the reader turning the pages to see what happens next.

 

   Ambitious?  Yes.  Successful?  Yes, on all four of those endeavors.  Despite being 500 pages in length, Captain Hawklin At War was a quick read for me, mostly because I kept reading “just one more chapter” to see which Crusader was going to find himself/herself in what sort of new mayhem.  So if you’re looking for a “pulpy” action-adventure novel with a World War Two setting, this book is for you.

 

    9 Stars.  One last thing.  If you’re new to this series, and upon finishing Captain Hawklin At War, you want to read more stories about our hero, a section titled “The Captain Hawklin Timeline”, located at the end of the book, lists 10 more novels and 8 more short stories featuring him.  Happy reading!