Fires of Alexandria by Thomas K. Carpenter

   2013; 327 pages.  Book 1 (out of 7) in The Alexandrian Saga series.  New Author? : Yes.  Genre : Alternate History; Historical Fiction.  Overall Rating : 8*/10.

    It is not the best of times for Heron.  She’s trying to take care of her late brother’s machine-shop business, but he’s run up so many debts that she can barely pay the interest on them.  To boot, her teenaged niece, Sepharia, yearns to be free to travel the dangerous streets of 1^st-century Alexandria, and feels Heron is being overly-protective of her.

    Heron’s got her own perils.  Since it’s a man’s world, women running businesses is a no-no.  So she is impersonating her late brother, hoping nobody notices her somewhat slight build and high voice.  And there’s the small matter of her addiction to lotus powder.

    But Heron is an inventive sort, and her “magic machines” are in high demand by the local temples, whose local patrons demand the gods provide miracles on a regular basis.  Well, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.  And you can give a priest a mechanical marvel, but if he’s slow of wit and clumsy while operating it, then the audience goes away disappointed.

    And temples don’t pay for failed miracles.

What’s To Like...

    Fires of Alexandria is the first book in an Alternate History series set in Alexandria, Egypt around 100 years after the time of Cleopatra and Julius Caesar.  The city chafes under Roman rule and its high taxes, but is reluctant to face the wrath of the still-potent Roman army.

    Thomas K. Carpenter presents a gritty picture of everyday life there; one that includes cussing, torture, fear, drugs, and a myriad of temples dedicated to a myriad of gods and goddesses, all vying for power and money.  I especially enjoyed Carpenter’s keen insights about the priorities of any religion.

    Heron’s challenges are threefold: somehow raise the money to pay off huge loans her brother ran up; build war machines for the mysterious, but well-funded Agog; and find out who was responsible for the fire that heavily damaged the Library of Alexandria almost a century ago.  These are all resolved, but in one-after-another fashion instead of all woven together for a  high-tension climax.

    I liked that this is not another “save the library of Alexandria” plotline; lord knows I’ve red enough of those.  There are also some way-kewl inventions by Heron (safety goggles, a self-trimming oil lamp, the aeolipile, and quite a few more), a goodly number of which Heron actually did devise, as detailed by the author in a fascinating “Afterwards” at the end of the book, and confirmed by the Wikipedia articles on “aeolipile” and “Hero of Alexandria”. 

    This is a standalone novel, despite also being the first entry in a 7-book series.  The setting felt “real”, and was free of any clunky info-dumps that one runs into all too often in the Alt-History genre.

Kewlest New Word…

Aeolipile (n.) : a simple, bladeless steam turbine.  (per the Wikipedia article; our protagonist is generally credited with inventing it)

Others : Weregild (n.)

Excerpts...

    The patrons of the temple harassed the priests in violet robes on the stairs.  He gathered from the hurled insults that the temple had been faring poorly in exciting its followers.

    North or south, once a god had a building to maintain, Agog found them to be quite insistent about tithing and finding the means to encourage it.  He preferred the gods and goddesses of the woods and streams.  They required nothing more than a simple word and the occasional burnt offering.  (loc. 259)

    Heron first looked to sea.  Distant sails rose and fell upon the waves as they rode toward Alexandria.  At that place, Heron felt like the center of the known world.  Even more than Rome, which styled itself its capitol (sic).

    While Rome had its senators and tales of oration and armies and roads, Alexandria had its Lighthouse and Library.  Rome used its powers to control its Empire.  Alexandria used hers to invite the world to her doorstep.  (loc. 3682)

Kindle Details...

    Fires of Alexandria is free at Amazon.  The other six books in the series are in the $3.99 to $6. 99 price range.  Thomas K. Carpenter has a slew of other e-books available, ranging from $0.99 to $6.99, as well as several short stories for free.

“Hortio is a prickly man.  He’ll promise the stars and the sun, but in the end, hand you a bucket of dung and call it even.”  (loc. 1430)

    There are a couple quibbles, the most serious of which is the freeing of all slaves in Alexandria at the end of the story.  Although I agree that this is a completely repulsive concept nowadays, 2,000 years ago it was an accepted practice in all societies.  If slavery becomes the number one theme of this series, okay fine, I withdraw the quibble.  But here it is incidental to the storyline, and therefore its abolition negatively impacts the authentic feeling of the historical setting.

    There is also the matter of a spy in Heron’s workshop.  Whoever it is, they are a major disruption of Heron’s efforts, yet they are never caught and identified.  They just get conveniently written out when Heron sends everybody home for their own safety.  Plot threads are meant to be resolved.

    The writing is adequate, but not compelling.  I can’t say that any of the characters reached out and drew me in.  But the storytelling makes up for all these quibbles – there are no telling/showing issues, no slow spots, the action is plentiful, and there’s just enough dry wit and humor (miracles running amok) to balance the gruesome realities.

    8 Stars.  Subtract ½ star if you always liked the historical Roman Empire.  If you know who the Hamilcar in this blog’s title references, you’ll understand why I really liked this story.

The Good, The Bad and the Smug - Tom Holt

   2011; 344 pages.  Full Title : The Good, The Bad and The Smug – A Novel Beyond Good and Evil.  Book 4 in Tom Holt’s Doughnut series.  New Author? : No.  Genre : Fantasy; Contemporary Humor.  Overall Rating : 8*/10.

    The Good.  Efluviel is an elf, and all elves are good, aren’t they?  She’s an aspiring journalist, but currently finds herself unemployed, when Mordak the goblin king, buys her newspaper and fires everyone.  She can have her job back, but it will mean compromising some of her ideals.

    The Bad.  Mordak is a goblin, and all goblins are bad, aren’t they?  But lately he’s been proposing some radical changes to goblin protocol.  Things like making peace with the dwarfs (heresy!), and even – dare we say it – cooperating with the elves.

    The Smug.  He seems to go by several names, and has this really nifty spinning wheel that can turn straw in to gold.  But the weird thing is, he doesn’t seem to want anything in return.  Just bring him the straw and he’ll convert it into gold and give it right back to you.  He has to have some angle, but what?

What’s To Like...

    The Good, The Bad and The Smug is the fourth book in Tom Holt’s “Doughnut” series, of which I’ve now read numbers 2 through 4.  In a nutshell, think of the hole in a doughnut as being a portal to another reality.  Holt uses the dimension-hopping to deal with all sorts of topics, and here, as the title implies, he examines the concepts of Good and Evil, and their relativistic nature.

    To a certain degree, this is a sequel to book 3, The Outsorcerer’s Apprentice (reviewed here), which I very much enjoyed.  But don’t fret that this might be a rehash of that tale; Mordak is the only major character that carries over, and the settings, themes, and tone are totally different here.

    There are multiverses and donuts, and some gentle pokes with items like YourTubes, FaceBooks, Multisoft, Wickedpedia, and my favorite, The Fount Of All Knoledg.  Goblins have now made the jump into our world, where their bodies morph into human form.  But they’re still goblins at heart, and the only gainful employment they generally find is in the movie-making industry, as extras (playing goblins, naturally).

    Mordak and Efluviel make for a great pair of adventurers, and Holt keeps introducing you to all sorts of interesting supporting characters - Archie, Art and his cohort, and the hilarious Unconventional Sisters to name just a few.  Even the Dark Lord has a certain charm about him.

    As always, Holt addles our brains with a bunch of seemingly unrelated storylines (Mordak/Efluviel, Archie, Rumplestiltskin, and the Dark Lord), and as always he brings them all together at the end for a satisfying ending.  There’s a fair amount of adult language, but that’s true of any Tom Holt book.

Kewlest New Word. . .

Skive (n.) : an instance of avoiding work or duty.  (a Britishism)

Others : Menisci (n., plural); Insouciant (adj.);

Excerpts...

    Generally speaking, when (Goblins) lose a war, they retire into their deep, dark underground lairs, which no enemy has ever penetrated (no enemy has ever wanted to), lick their wounds, regroup, execute their king and replace him with a new one, and set about gearing up for the next war.  A simple and reliable approach, which had always worked well; and yet, Mordak thought, one that could be improved upon, particularly if you were the king.  (pg. 69)

    Oglak had a little troll,

    Its coat was stiff as wire;

    So every time it scratched itself,

    It set its bum on fire.  (pg. 239)

 “Be it never so dark, damp, deep, musty and littered with yellowing bones, there’s no place like home.”  (pg. 144)

    The Good, The Bad and The Smug is another read-worthy effort by Tom Holt that I liked almost as much as its predecessor.  But not quite.  It was nothing major, just a couple minor things.

    For starters, there are less fairytale characters than in the previous book, and more time is spent in our mundane dimension.  The secondary theme here, which we (and Rumplestiltskin) can aptly label “Economic Growth”, is somewhat dull by nature.  The disparate plotlines seemed a bit harder to follow, and seemed to stay confusing longer than usual.  And I never did figure out if Ozork and Archie are one and the same.

    But I pick at nits.  I’ve yet to be disappointed in any Tom Holt book; it’s just a matter of dividing them into “good” and “great”.

    8 Stars.  Add ½ star if you think Economic Systems are a wonderful topic for discussion, thank you very much.

Secondhand Souls - Christopher Moore

   2015; 336 pages.  Full Title : Secondhand Souls – A Novel.  Sequel to A Dirty Job (2006).   New Author? : No.  Genre : Contemporary Fiction; Dark Humor.  Overall Rating : 8½*/10.

    Charlie Asher misses his seven-year-old daughter, Sophie.  That’s understandable, since Charlie’s dead.  But he’s not really gone; his soul – including his consciousness – has been transferred into a different body.

    Well, not a regular body.  Charlie Asher now stands knee-high, and has the head of a crocodile and the feet of a duck.  He wears a purple satin wizard’s robe under which is slung his ten-inch schlong.  So he’d just as soon avoid a face-to-face encounter with his daughter.

    But now that Sophie is greeting people on the telephone with “I am become Death, destroyer of worlds!”, and Charlie realizes there’s only one thing to do.  Well, two, actually.  Find someone who can transfer his soul into another body.  And then find someone who’s willing to let him have use of theirs.

What’s To Like...

    It took Christopher Moore nine years to pen the follow-up to his most excellent 2006 novel, A Dirty Job, but it was worth the wait.  Secondhand Souls catches you up on a lot of the characters from ADJ, both good and evil.  Rivera and Cavuto are back, so is the Emperor of San Francisco and his canine cohorts, Bummer and Lazarus.  Aunt Jane and Aunt Cassie are caring for Sophie while Charlie deals with his identity crisis, Minty Green is back, and even the nasty but laughable/likable Morrigan return.  But there are new characters as well – a guy who paints the Golden Gate bridge, several ghosts and meat puppets, and a banshee with a penchant for stun guns.

    As usual, Christopher Moore spins all sorts of threads at you (I counted six of them here), then steadily builds the literary tension before tying everything up neatly at the end.  There’s even a short “whatever happened to” epilogue.  Moore has lost none of his edginess, wit, and storytelling abilities.

    There’s a nice assortment of beasties to confront you, and a little bit of romance for the female readership.  One or two good guys die along the way; I like when that happens.  The pace is crisp, and there are a couple of plot twists along the way to keep you on your toes.  There are even some music references and some French thrown in; those are always a plus for me.  There is some cussing and adult situations; if you don’t know that about Christopher Moore’s writing, this is probably the first time you've read one of his books.

Kewlest New Word…

Doofuscocity (n.) : its meaning is obvious, and it’s a made-up word.  But I think it’s freakin’ great.

Excerpts...

    “That’s why I called.  You help me find a body, then I help you fix whatever the banshee is warning us about.”

    “Like a corpse-type body?”

    “Not exactly.  Someone who is going to be a corpse, but before they become a corpse.”

    “Doesn’t that describe everybody?”  (loc. 590)

    The big V-8 rumbled and the four chrome ports down each side of the hood blinked as if startled out of a nap, then opened to draw more air into the infernal engine.  The tail of the Buick dipped and the grinning chrome mouth of the grille gulped desert air like a whale shark sucking down krill.  Far below the crusty strata, long-dead dinosaurs wept for the liquid remains of their brethren consumed by the creamy, jaundiced leviathan.  (loc. 1873)

Kindle Details...

    Secondhand Souls sells for  $9.99 at Amazon right now, which is about right for a new release by a top-tier author.  The rest of the Christopher Moore e-books are in the $9.99 and $11. 99 price range.

 “I commiserate.  I can go from zero to comiserable at the speed of dark.”  (loc. 443)

    Secondhand Souls is a standalone novel, but just barely.  You can forget a lot of details when there is a nine year gap between books in a series.  I read A Dirty Job six years ago  (the review is here), and I had only a hazy recollection of what went down in it.  Moore recognizes this, and works the backstory in in piecemeal fashion, but it felt clunky at times.

    To boot, once you get back up to speed in the series’ storyline, you realize there’s a lot of repeat here.  The foes are more-or-less the same : Morrigan and the Ultimate Evil against Charlie and Sophie; and the fate of the world once again hangs in a San Francisco setting.

    But these are minor quibbles.  This is still an enjoyable story, and maybe the long waiting time makes the repeated things seem fresh.  Also, there are those who might not mind a Bay Area rematch between the forces of Light and Darkness.

    8½ Stars.  With all the threads tied up so well, there is not a lot of room for a third book in the series.  But I would’ve said that after the first book as well.

Weaveworld - Clive Barker

    1987; 704 pages.  New Author? : Yes.  Genre : Epic Fantasy; Horror.  Laurels : Nominated for the 1988 World Fantasy Award (Best Novel).  Overall Rating : 8*/10.

    Calvin Mooney has caught a glimpse of Wonderland.  Funnily enough, it was as he was climbing a wall while chasing down one of his errant pigeons.  He glanced down at an old, threadbare carpet that a couple of movers were taking out of an empty house.  The vision was only there for an instant.  After the blink of an eye, it returned to being just an ordinary carpet again.

    So maybe it was all in Cal’s head.  A trick of the eyes, an overactive imagination, a short-lived hallucination, or something he ate for lunch that disagreed with him.  Yeah, that’s probably it.  The movers who took the carpet away certainly didn't see anything unusual, other than a crazy man chasing a bird.

    Except, then why are a pair of strangers pursuing him so diligently and so ruthlessly, demanding that he tell them where he’s hid the carpet?

What’s To Like...

    Weaveworld is an interesting blend of fantasy (hidden worlds, magic powers, giddy fruit) and horror (monstrous beasties, evil spells, undead spirits), with a bit of romance thrown in, but only a bit.  At first glance, this would appear to be a difficult mix, but Clive Barker makes it work.

    The story is set in Liverpool – the author's home turf – and several other areas of central England.  I particularly liked Barker’s ability to paint descriptions of both the real world and the fantasy one.  Yeah, one person’s “flowery” is another person’s “vivid”, but I found it captivating.  I also liked the book’s structure – there are sections (13 of them) which contain chapters, which in turn contain sub-chapters.  It was nice to be able to easily find a convenient place to stop at just about point while reading this 700-page opus.

    Our two protagonists, Cal and Suzanna, at first seem overmatched against some rather formidable baddies, but that’s how horror stories are supposed to work.  Both sides gain some friends and allies along the way, and that keeps the storyline fresh.  Quite a few characters get killed, so don’t get too attached to any of them.  But cleverly woven into all the action and bloodshed are some serious topics – the dangers of blind faith, the interdependence of belief and reality, and of course, the strength of love.

    The tension builds nicely to a great good-vs-evil ending, although it is stutter-step in nature.  Onr first ending comes about 500 pages in, another at page 690, and a third one – short but critical – finishes off the book as a 10-page epilogue.  This is a standalone novel, and lots of R-rated stuff – cussing, sex, and bloody deaths.  But hey, isn't horror supposed to be that way?

Kewlest New Word...

Bowdlerize (v.) : to edit (text) by removing or modifying passages deemed to be vulgar or objectionable.

Others : By-blow (n.; Britishism); Louring (v.; Britishism); Incantatrix (n.; Latinism)

Excerpts...

    It was not an empty sleep; far from it.  There were dreams.  Or rather, a particular dream which filled both their heads.

    They dreamed a noise.  A planet of bees, all buzzing fit to burst their honeyed hearts; a rising swell that was summer’s music.

    They dreamed smell.  A confusion of scents; of streets after rain, and faded cologne, and wind out of a warm country.

    But most of all, they dreamed sight.

    It began with a pattern: a knotting and weaving of countless strands, dyed in a hundred colors, carrying a charge of energy that so dazzled the sleepers they had to shield their minds’ eyes.  (pg. 128)

    It was just before eight in the morning when Cal got off the bus and began the short walk to the Mooney residence, and everywhere along the street the same domestic rituals that he’d witnessed here since his childhood were being played out.  Radios announced the morning’s news through open windows and doors: a Parliamentarian had been found dead in his mistress’s arms; bombs had been dropped in the Middle East.  Slaughter and scandal, scandal and slaughter.  And was the tea too weak this morning, my dear? and did the children wash behind their ears?  (pg. 298)

“Serves us right for trusting weavers.  Clever fingers and dull minds.”  (pg. 135)

    Weaveworld is a good book, but not a perfect one.  There are some spots where the plotline drags, particularly the chapters where Cal and Suzanna are on the run, trying to stay one step ahead of the bad guys.  The main storyline is pretty straightforward and untwisty; you can see what it’s building to from a long way off.  And the intricate world-building was a mixed blessing – I really felt “immersed” in the worlds Clive Barker created, yet it made for a lengthy read.

    But I quibble.  Overall, this was a witty and entertaining read, with fantasy and horror blended in just the right proportions.  This was an early Clive Barker book effort, and AFAIK, he didn’t set any of his subsequent stories in this fascinating world.

   Which is quite the pity.

    8 Stars.  This was my introduction to Clive Barker, and the word is it’s one of his tamer and “lighter” efforts.  I think I may have to pick up some more of his books.

Hogfather - Terry Pratchett

   1996; 354 pages.  Book  #20 (out of 41) in the Discworld series; Book # 4 (out of 4, I think) in the Discworld Death series.  New Author? : No.  Genre : Comedic Fantasy.  Laurels : 137^th in The Big Read; British Fantasy Award nominee in 1997.  Overall Rating : 9*/10.

    It’s Hogswatchnight Eve on Discworld, and something seems just a bit awry with the Hogfather.  No, it’s not the four giant, flying hogs – Tusker, Snouter, Gouger, and Rooter - that pull his sleigh while he delivers toys on this night; they’re the same as always.

    Instead, its the Hogfather himself.  He seems ...well... different.  His face is narrower, darker, and bonier.  And although his girth is plump as always, it appears he’s actually a skinny guy with a pillow strapped around his stomach.

    Then of course, there’s that scythe he’s carrying.  That definitely is not a standard piece of Hogfather paraphernalia.

What’s To Like...

    The book’s cover lets you know immediately who is being parodied here; so I chose this as my 2015 “Christmas read”.  Published in 1996, this is at the creative height of Terry Pratchett’s Discworld wit and storytelling.  Hogfather is also one of four Discworld books that spotlights Death and some of his associates, including his granddaughter, Susan; and his rodent counterpart, The Grim Squeaker.

    This is a classic Discworld story, with its usual structure – lots of hilarious footnotes, no chapter divisions, a great supporting cast that includes both familiar faces: the Wizards (with their computer called “Hex”), Corporal Nobbs, and my favorite, The Librarian; and some refreshingly new ones: Banjo, Violet Bottler (the Tooth Fairy), Bilious (the “Oh God” of Hangovers), and the enormously cute and charming galoot, Banjo.

    There are a bunch of plot threads (I counted at least five of them) that Pratchett skillfully weaves together at the end.  But make no mistake about it: Death is the star here, and that’s a big plus.  Pratchett cleverly uses him, as he makes his rounds with Albert, his pixie assistant, to discuss the true meaning of Hogswatchnight/Christmas.  His conclusions may surprise you.

    The other major theme here concerns the merits of Belief itself, particularly those involving the god or gods of your personal choice.  Terry Pratchett was an avowed humanist, so his thoughts on this were enlightening.  OTOH, if you prefer your themes a bit less serious, you’ll delight in the Campaign for Equal Heights.  Or the ability of Belief to conjure up all sorts of pesky mini-gods.

Kewlest New Word ...

Profligacy (n.) : the state or quality of wasting something, usually money, but here the wasting of life.

Excerpts...

    “Well, I mean, dammit, it’s human nature, isn’t it?” said Ridcully hotly.  “Things go wrong, things get lost, it’s natural to invent little creatures that – All right, all right, I’ll be careful.  I’m just saying man is naturally a mythopoeic creature.”

    “What’s that mean?” said the Senior Wrangler.

    “Means we make things up as we go along,” said the Dean, not looking up.  (pg. 191)

    Violet’s lips moved silently.  Part of Bilious thought: I’m attracted to a girl who actually has to shut down all other brain functions in order to think about the order of the letters of the alphabet.  On the other hand, she’s attracted to someone who’s wearing a toga that looks as though a family of weasels have had a party in it, so maybe I’ll stop this thought right here.  (pg. 286)

Death was hereditary.  You got it from your ancestors.  (pg. 203 )

    Hogfather is another fine Discworld tale, but there are a couple caveats.  For starters, the storyline at times slips into a darker tone.  There's a psychopathic assassin, a cold-blooded murder or two, and several horror scenes that Dean Koontz could take pointers from.  If you like your Christmas reads full of snow bunnies, cocoa, and warm, blazing fireplaces, this probably isn’t your kind of book.

    Also, if you’re not reading this series in order (and I’m not), some of the threads and characters may get confusing.  I never did figure out the role and goal of the Auditors; apparently they’re carryovers from an earlier story featuring Death.  But you can still read this as a standalone novel; just be prepared for one or two minor info gaps.

    9 Stars.  I expected Hogfather to be a fascinating read, and it did not disappoint.  Subtract 1 Star if you were hoping for something along the lines of A Charlie Brown Christmas.

The Clockwork God - Jamie Sedgwick

   2013; 218 pages.  Book 1 (out of three) of the Aboard The Great Iron Horse series.   New Author? : Yes.  Genre : Steampunk Fantasy.  Overall Rating : 7½*/10.

    In a post-apocalyptic, steampunk world, Socrates and his band of adventurers ride the steam-powered locomotive, The Iron Horse, through the icy wastelands in search of other remnants of civilization.  Their train is ½-mile in length, so they can take on board lots of survivors.

   Of course, what we’re really talking about is human survivors.  There are wild beasts afoot.  They are a good source of meat, but can be quite the challenge when your weaponry has been reduced to muskets and swords.

    Plus, not all of the humans they encounter may want to be “rescued”.  Some may even be downright unfriendly.

What’s To Like...

    The cause of the civilization-erasing event is not given; but it’s most likely either a new Ice Age or a nuclear winter.  There’s a bare-bones prologue that gives you a small amount of a backstory, but it felt like you’re supposed to already know the main characters, and apparently they are carryovers from Jamie Sedgwick's previous series, The Tinkerer's Daughter.  But if you haven't read that trilogy, it's okay; the world-building here is great, and I quickly became acclimated to it.

    There’s not a lot of characters to keep track of, which makes it easy to focus on the storyline.  The action is fast-paced and plentiful, and everything builds to an exciting, albeit, not particularly twisty, ending.  There’s a nice variety of characters, although the steampunk ape Socrates is by far the most fascinating.

    Critters and gadgets abound.  Besides the train itself, we have muskets and broadswords, and a mysterious substance called “Starfall” which provides the power for the steam train.  If Socrates and company can’t find enough Starfall, there are literally dead in their (railroad) tracks.  There’s also a way-kewl “bone-shaker” (a steam-powered bicycle), and I was pleasantly surprised to see Chemistry – in the form of a distillation apparatus – get some ink.  We won’t tell you anything of the critters; it’ll be more fun if you meet them firsthand.

    Besides all the hack-&-slash, Jamie Sedgwick explores the more serious theme of blind faith.  In this age of religious shysters and political hucksters, it’s a timely topic.  The Clockwork God is a standalone novel that ends at a logical place, and of course leaves you wanting to read the further adventures of the crew of the Iron Horse in the next book.

Excerpts...

    The burly blacksmith dismissed his bald-headed companion with a snort.  “You’re projecting,” he muttered.  He took a big bite of roast and the greasy juices streamed down his beard.  He appeared not to notice.

    “Aye, like you know what that means,” Patch said, rolling his eyes.  “Don’ be slingin’ those silvery words ‘round here.”

    “It means ya see in him what ain’t there; what yer seein’ is yourself.”

    “Pfft,” was Patch’s educated response.  (loc. 751)

    “My people are simple, but I guide them gently, like a shepherd.”

    “No doubt you do.  However, it has been my experience that the ignorant always hunger for knowledge, just as your people’s bellies hunger for food.”

    “Ah, but is that not the way of things?”  The Keeper took a sip of his wine and smiled.  “Alas, we have no control over the world, or we would solve all of these problems with a snap of our fingers.”

    “Would you?” Socrates said.  (loc. 1380)

Kindle Details...

    The Clockwork God is free at Amazon right now.  The other two books in the series, Killing The Machine and The Dragon’s Breath, sell for $0.99 and $2.99 respectively.  Jamie Sedgwick has a slew of other books and series, all of which are in the $0.00-$2.99 price range.  His general pattern seems to be to offer the first book in each series for free, the second one for $0.99, and the rest for $2.99.  I think this is a great marketing strategy, and just bought Killing The Machine.

 “We are all machines of a sort. … We are made of moving parts.  But if we have consciousness, then we are more than the sum of our parts.”  (loc. 1317)

    The quibbles are minor.  Although there was plenty of action, the main storyline – meeting and interacting with a strange town and its strange beliefs and townspeople – is not very “epic”.  This is not necessarily bad; in a way, it reminded me of a typical episode in the original Star Trek series.  Highly entertaining, but not particularly cosmos-shaking.

    Then there was the attempted rape scene, which felt awkwardly forced, and kinda made me wonder who the target audience was.  Steampunk is generally YA-oriented, and the sexual assault didn’t seem to be in keeping with the tone of the book.  But I’m not an expert on Steampunk, and know next to nothing about the overall tone of Jamie Sedgwick’s other books.

    Finally, at 218 pages, the book was over entirely too soon.  But maybe this just means it was a page-turner for me.  Bottom line – The Clockwork God kept my interest, and made me want to read other books by this author, including the sequel.

    7½ Stars.  This is a promising start to a new series by what is for me a new author.  We shall see if the subsequent books are as good, or even better than this.

The Catcher In The Rye - J.D. Salinger

   1951; 214 pages.  New Author? : Yes.  Genre : American Literature; Realistic Fiction; Banned Books.  Overall Rating : 8½*/10.

    It is not the best of times for Holden Caulfield.  He’s about to be expelled from an exclusive private academy.  Again.  For a total lack of effort.  Again.

    This time it’s prestigious Pencey Prep; it's the 4^th school that Holden will be kicked out of; and he knows his parents are going to hit the roof.  There are still a couple days until the end of the semester, but he decides to leave school early, since his fate is already sealed and he’s surrounded by teachers and students who are (in Holden’s opinion) all phonies.

    He has some cash on him – he comes from an affluent family – and there’s no sense arriving home early to face the inevitable chewing out, so Holden opts to hang out in his hometown for a few days.  Which happens to be New York City.  Take in a play, go ice skating, look up old friends (especially girls), maybe hire a hooker.

    Except all his old friends are phonies.  And he’s still a virgin.

What’s To Like...

    The Catcher In The Rye is J.D. Salinger’s blockbuster 1951 novel, and grasps poignantly the alienation, angst, and crisis-of-identity that many teenagers go through, no matter what generation they belong to.  Some parts of the story can be described as autobiographical fiction, akin to Sylvia Plath and her novel, The Bell Jar (reviewed here).

   The story is told from a first-person POV (Holden’s), and in a stream-of-consciousness format.  Salinger makes extensive use of 1950’s teen-speak, some of which was still around in the 1960’s when I was growing up (eg. : “necking” and “corny”).  It was fun to read about an America that is long-gone, including long-forgotten things like phone booths, a La Salle convertible, and a popular song from that time, “Tin Roof Blues”.  Being the thoughts of an teenager with an attitude, it should not be a surprise that cuss words abound.

    The writing is very good; it has to be to keep the reader’s interest for 200+ pages while recounting Holden’s messed-up view of the world.  But our protagonist has some good aspects too.  He is honest about himself, knows when he’s screwed a situation up, and even evokes some sympathy as he tries to fathom the opposite sex.  One of Holden’s repeated lines is “It’s a funny thing about girls…”

    There are some great scenes in the book – such as the will-he-or-won’t-he encounter with the hooker and her pimp.  And while Holden may have some crumby (to use his vernacular) views on life, some of his mini-discourses are quite engaging, such as his reasons for liking Jesus but hating his disciples.

    The ending is either brilliant or unsatisfying, depending on your expectations.  While it is implied that Holden is finally getting some professional help, it is not clear that it’s altered his outlook on life in any appreciable way.

Kewlest New Word ...

Chiffonier (n.) : a tall chest of drawers, usually with a mirror on top.

Excerpts...

    “Anyway, I keep picturing all those little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all.  Thousands of little kids, and nobody’s around – nobody big, I mean – except me.  And I’m standing on the edge of some crazy cliff.  What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff – I mean if they’re running and they don’t look where they’re going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them.  That’s all I’d do all day.  I’d just be the catcher in the rye and all.”  (pg. 173)

    “I have a feeling that you’re riding for some kind of a terrible, terrible fall.  But I don’t honestly know what kind … Are you listening to me?”

    “Yes.”

    You could tell he was trying to concentrate and all.

    “It may be the kind where, at the age of thirty, you sit in some bar hating everybody who comes in looking as if he might have played football in college.  Then again, you may pick up just enough education to hate people who say, “It’s a secret between he and I.”  Or you may end up in some business office, throwing paper clips at the nearest stenographer.  I just don’t know.  But do you know what I’m driving at, at all?”

    “Yes.  Sure,” I said.”  (pg. 186)

“If a body catch a body coming through the rye.”  (pg. 115 )

    I have to admit that the first 2/3 of the book got repetitive at times.  Holden hates this, Holden hates that, Holden hates yet another person, and on and on it goes.  Yet it’s all worth it once he sneaks home and talks with his kid sister, Phoebe, who’s the one person in the world who Holden actually cares about.  The feeling is mutual, and that is what gives the reader optimism that Holden might someday get his life together.

    I chose The Catcher In The Rye as my “highbrow literature” book for 2015.  I try to read one of those each year but am not always successful.  It could also have served as my read for “Banned Book Week 2015”, since it continues to be one of the most challenged books year after year.  I find this paradoxical since it is also one of the most recommended-reading books in high school English classes.

    Bottom line: this book thoroughly resonated with me, because so many of Holden’s thoughts and views were also mine back in my salad days.  If you were your high school’s homecoming queen or star quarterback, you may not be able to relate to Holden, and may find his story to be a real drag.  But for every perfectly adjusted kid, there are a hundred others that are confused, maladjusted, and/or socially or emotionally messed up to varying degrees.  And that’s why The Catcher In The Rye remains such a popular novel.

    8½ Stars.  Subtract 1 Star if you prefer Leave It To Beaver to All In The Family.  I don’t know whether to pity you or envy you.

The Shepherd's Crown - Terry Pratchett

   2015; 288 pages.  New Author? : No.  Book #41 (out of 41) in the Discworld series; Book #5 (out of 5) in the Tiffany Aching series.  Genre : Fantasy; Humor.  Overall Rating : 8*/10.

    Change is coming to Discworld.  The witches can feel it.  The Kelda of the Nac Mac Feegle clan can sense it.  The Elf Lord, Peasebottom, feels it, and discerns an opportunity.  The Goblins believe that it is already underway.  And there are those who'd say that even the land itself is aware of it.

    Nobody can say how the ‘new’ Discworld will turn out, or even whether the change is for the better or the worse.  But one thing is certain.  When Tiffany Aching’s mentor, Granny Weatherwax, takes a walk with Death into the eternal night, the dimensional barrier between the realm of the Elves and Discworld has been seriously weakened.

    And that means some big changes are about to unfold.

What’s To Like...

    The Shepherd’s Crown features the witch-in-training Tiffany Aching, whose bodyguards (whether wanted or not) are the wee folk of the Nac Mac Feegle.  They’re always a treat to follow.  The “costars” are the various Discworld witches, who I also enjoy, including Granny Weatherwax.  I particularly liked Terry Pratchett’s handling of the Letice Earwig character.  Plus, it was fun to meet Geoffrey and his incomparable companion, Mephistopheles.

    The storyline is divided into three parts.  The first deals with Granny Weatherwax’s departure, and I felt it was the strongest portion of the book.  Terry Pratchett was aware that his days were numbered, and I got the impression that Granny Weatherwax’s discourse with Death reflected his own views on his life and mortality.  It left a lump in my throat.

    The middle portion dealt with Tiffany’s struggles to live up to her new position.  It was a bit too repetitious for me, and things bogged down once or twice.  The final portion of the story dealt with the confrontation with the Elves, and (as always) pulled all the plot threads together nicely.  The ending isn't particularly twisty, but I liked it that the Elves are baddies here.

    The titular Shepherd’s Crown figures into the story.  I won’t say how, but if you have trouble visualizing it, its image is on the book’s cover.  A couple of other Discworld characters make cameo appearances, and if goblins and geezers are your kind of critters, you’re in luck.

    The Shepherd’s Crown is a standalone novel, and the closing book of both the 5-volume Tiffany Aching series, and the larger 41-volume Discworld series.  I’m not reading either series in order, and am aware that I therefore missed some plot details, most notably, the role of Preston in Tiffany’s life.  But I still had no trouble following along.

    The Appendix has both a hilarious “Feegle Glossary” and a touching Afterword from Terry Pratchett’s family.  You don’t want to miss either of these.

Kewlest New Word …

Littoral (n.) : a region lying along a shore. (it can also be used as an adjective)

Others : Dissembling (adj.)

Kindle Details...

    The Shepherd’s Crown sells for $11.99 at Amazon, which seems a bit steep, although this is a new release from a top-tier writer.  Most (but not all) of the rest of the Discworld e-books are in the $4.99-$9.99 price range.

Excerpts...

    “What about this woman called Mrs. Earwig?”

    Drumknott made a face.  “All show, my lord, doesn’t get her hands dirty.  Lot of jewelry, black lace, you know the type.  Well-connected, but that’s about all I can say.”

     “Ah yes, now you tell me, I’ve seen her.  Pushy and full of herself.  She’s the kind that goes to soirees.”

    “So do you, my lord.”

    “Yes, but I am the tyrant, so it’s the job I have to do, alas.”  (loc. 834)

    “What are your names, boys?”

    Wee Callum, a little bit tongue-tied, said, “I’m Callum, mistress.”

    “Pleased to meet you,” said Tiffany.

    “Aye, mistress, and this is my brother, Callum.”

    “Two of you?” she said.  “Isn’t that difficult?”

    “Och no, I know who I am and he knows who he is and so does our other brother Callum.”  (loc. 3884)

 “Being a witch is a man’s job: that’s why it needs women to do it.”  (loc. 1461)

    There are the trademark Pratchett footnotes, but they didn’t seem to have their usual wit.  Indeed, that can be said of the entire book.  Also, the overarching tone of the book was a lot darker and more serious than most Discworld novels.  This has been the trend over the last 3-4 books, but I think it’s quite understandable, and even forgivable.  Pratchett knew he was dying, and I have no doubt that it’s hard to be whimsical under such circumstances.

    The Shepherd’s Crown was published posthumously and to me, it seemed like it was Terry’s way of saying goodbye to both his readers and his beloved Discworld universe.  I’m therefore willing to cut him a lot of slack, and let’s be clear; any Discworld devotee will still find it a delight, albeit a somewhat sad one, to read.  I don’t think anyone is going to pick up the Discworld mantle, and I for one am going to miss this series.

    8 Stars.  Subtract 1 star if this is your first Discworld novel and are wondering where all the wit and humor is.  Trust me, none of the other books in the series are as somber as this one.