Monday the Rabbi Took Off - Harry Kemelman

   1972; 329 pages.  Book 4 (out of 12) in the “Rabbi Small Mystery” series.  New Author? : No.  Genre : Hebrew Culture; Crime Mystery; Jewish Literature; Amateur Sleuths.  Overall Rating : 7*/10.

 

    No matter what the job, everybody needs a break sometimes.  Even Rabbi David Small of the Barnard’s Crossing temple.

 

    He’s served as their rabbi for more than five years, despite not having a contract with them that grants him time off for a vacation, or a yearlong sabbatical leave-of-absence after six years of service.  He’s never once complained about the unpaid overtime hours expected of a rabbi.

 

    But it’s taken its toll.  Now he’s asking for three months off for an extended trip to the Jewish holy land of Israel.  His wife and young son will be accompanying him.  He’s not even asking the Bernard’s Crossing temple to subsidize him.

 

    Hmm.  I wonder if his ultimate aim is to find a new job over there.  Something that gives him time off each year, and will guarantee it in a contract.  If I were on the Barnard’s Crossing temple board, I’d start looking for a replacement to fill in for Rabbi Small while he’s gone, and to take his place if he decides not to come back.

 

What’s To Like...

    I liked the change-of-setting Harry utilizes in Monday the Rabbi Took Off; Israel is a much more interesting place to read about than Barnard’s Crossing.  The timing is important as well.  It’s 1972, just five years after the Six-Day War between Israel and most of its neighbors, and the entire Jewish nation remains in a “siege mentality” for valid reasons.

 

    The descriptions of everyday life in Israel felt very convincing without being boringly stereotypical.  There are rules governing what activities you can and cannot on the Sabbath, and most citizens obey them.  It reminded me of the “Blue Laws” we had in Pennsylvania when I was growing up there: stores, restaurants, and liquor stores were all closed on Sunday mornings, and people lined up as the hour drew close to noon.  Nobody complained about the restrictions, which is also true here in Monday the Rabbi Took Off.

 

    Harry Kemelman blends a fair amount of Hebrew vocabulary into the story, and I liked that.  One is detailed below; others include kiddush, Chassidim, minyan, chaver, gefilte fish, shlemiehl, sherut, and ozzereth.  Fortunately, between the author and my Kindle Fire, almost all of these came with translations.

 

    The main storylines are Rabbi Small and his family enjoying their three-month stay in Jerusalem and the Barnard’s Crossing Temple bigwigs worrying that he won’t come back.  There is a bombing death for Rabbi Small to solve, but that doesn’t arise until more than halfway through the book, and frankly doesn’t have a large impact on the events in the story.  More on that in a bit.

 

    The ending addresses resolves all three of those plot threads, including several neat plot twists, although not a lot of excitement.  Monday the Rabbi Took Off is both a standalone tale and part of a series that I'm reading in order.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon:  4.3/5 based on 878 ratings and 87 reviews.

    Goodreads: 3.87/5 based on 1,992 ratings and 165 reviews.

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Rebbitzin (n.) : the wife of a rabbi.

Others: Pillion (n.)

 

Excerpts...

    “First we ought to decide if we need a rabbi at all, then—”

    “What do you mean, do we need a rabbi at all?  How are we going to get along without a rabbi?”

    “Lots of places don’t have them,” Goodman replied.  “I mean not regularly.  They get a young punk down from the seminary every Friday evening and pay him maybe fifty or a hundred bucks and expenses.”

    “Sure, and you know what you get?  You get a young punk.”

    “Not just a young punk,” Goodman reproved, "a young rabbi punk.”  (loc. 11313)

 

    “Mahmoud is very good with automobiles, and he keeps this one tuned like a watch.  Well, maybe not like a watch, but like a good serviceable alarm clock.  It is perhaps not so quiet as the car you are used to, nor is the ride so smoothly, but it always starts, and it always goes.”

    “Yeah, well . . . It’s pretty good on gas.  I’ll say that for it.  We’ve been driving for over an hour and the needle on the tank gauge hasn’t moved.”

    Abdul chuckled.  “The gauge doesn’t work.  The needle never moves.”  (loc. 14870)

 

Kindle Details…

    Right now the e-book version of Monday the Rabbi Took Off will cost you $6.99 at Amazon.  The other e-books in the series are all in the $1.99-$7.99 range.  I read this as part of a 4-book bundle containing the first four entries is the series, and which costs $17.99.

 

“I make the decisions in my house, but my wife tells me what to decide.”  (loc. 15237)

    Profanity is almost nonexistent in Monday the Rabbi Took Off, which was expected since rabbis abstain from swearing.  I noted just three cusswords in the first 50% of the book, and zero adult situations.  The editing was well done; I only spotted two typos: gravel/gavel and hamburg/hamburger.

 

    As already mentioned, the big problem is the murder-mystery plotline.  It starts incredibly late in the text and is solved with more by armchair reasoning than onsite sleuthing.

 

    So if you can read a Rabbi Small story strictly for its insight into Jewish culture—both in America and in Israel—you are in for a treat; Harry Kemelman does a fantastic job in this respect.  But if you’re expecting a fascinating cozy mystery seamlessly merged into the tale as well, as I did, Monday the Rabbi Took Off probably won't live up to your expectations.

 

    7 Stars.  One minor plot tangent in the book deals with a fertilizer being field-tested by Israeli experts.  I've worked for a company that manufactures liquid fertilizers, and remember reading about some field research being done over there.  Specifically, it involved something called “drip irrigation”, and IIRC the Israelis came up with a remarkable way to minimize the amount of water needed for this.  When your entire country’s a desert and your population is constantly increasing due to immigration, such improvements are miracles.

Brightside - Mark Tullius

   2012; 304 pages.  Book 1 (out of 2) in the “Brightside” series.  New Author? : Yes.  Genres : Dystopian Fiction; Psychic Suspense.  Overall Rating: 7½*/10.

 

    They call us Thought Thieves.

 

    The more common word is “telepaths”.  There’s a fair number of us living quietly among you normal people.  Mostly, we’re just trying to avoid revealing to you that we can read your thoughts.  Because if the authorities find that out, they will immediately take the thought-thief into custody.

 

    My name’s Joe Nolan.  I’m one of those detainees.  My own father turned me in.  Can you believe that?!  The Boots (that’s what we call the thugs that snatch us away) grabbed me and took me to a place called “Brightside”, somewhere way up in the mountains.  The shrinks there will neutralize my thought-thieving brain and gradually reprogram me.   I’ll be a happy resident here.

 

    If I don’t kill myself first.

 

What’s To Like...

    Brightside is a dystopian thriller that imagines a world where a portion of its humans can hear the thoughts of others.  It reminded me of a very old Outer Limits TV episode, set IIRC on an outer-space mining operation, where a mutant suddenly becomes telepathic, much to the chagrin of his fellow miners.  Google-image “Outer Limits” for pictures from this episode.

 

    I liked the limitations that Mark Tullius puts on this “gift”.  Not everyone is blessed/cursed with being able to listen in on others’ thoughts.  The range of telepathy is limited; at one point our protagonist is amazed that a fellow thought-thief can “hear” thoughts from as far as 50 feet away.  Also, there are ways to mask or nullify one’s thoughts so that they can’t be read.  It’s an important resource that even thought-thieves need to survive.

 

    The story is told from the first-person POV: Joe’s.  Two telepaths can use both speech and thoughts to communicate with each other.  Mark Tullius puts all thoughts in italics, which makes it easy for the reader to follow along.  I liked the nod to Dune via the quip “Fear is the Mindkiller”.

 

    The ending is exciting, nail-biting, with several neat plot twists thrown in to keep you on your toes.  The storyline stops at a logical point.  All the plot threads do not get tied up, but I’m certain that Book Two, Beyond Brightside, will pick up and continue the narrative.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 3.8*/5, based on 307 ratings and 122 reviews.

    Goodreads: 3.52*/5, based on 350 ratings and 63 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    Brightside required us to work.  It wasn’t for the money.  The government funded most everything.  But Brightside needed us to keep busy, to feel productive.  They started the jobs program after the first month.  Too many Brightsiders had jumped off the mountain, took the easy way out.

    Quotas kept us from living in our heads.

    Busy people don’t kill themselves.  That was the idea, at least.  (loc. 416)

 

    Listen.”  She closed her eyes.  “What am I thinking?”

    I zeroed in, but heard nothing.  No mantra, no hum, just silence, like Danny.

    “You’re too far,” I said.

    Rachel pressed herself against me.  I listened.  Still nothing.

    She stepped back, curtseyed.  “I learned it in The Cabin.  That’s why they let me out.  Nothing but a blank slate.”

    “How?”

    “Something about the pills.  I can just shut it off now.”  (loc. 3567)

 

Kindle Details…

    At present, Brightside sells for $3.99 at Amazon, as does its sequel, Beyond Brightside.  Mark Tullius is also the author of a 20-volume “Interactive Adventure” series called Try Not to Die, with the entries priced at either $3.99 or $5.99.

 

They call our town Brightside because, as they like to remind us, things could be worse.  (loc. 96)

    I counted 62 instances of profanity in the first 20% of Brightside, which extrapolates out to a projected total of 310 cusswords.  There were also three rolls-in-the-hay and a couple references to “adult situations”.  True, any dystopian fiction will inherently be bleak and brutal, but this was excessive.

 

    The typos were few: straightjacket/straitjacket; BMW’s/BMWs; duffle/duffel and girl’s/girls.  I thought barbequing was also misspelled, but it turns our that’s correct.  My biggest gripe, along with the excessive use of profanity, was the lack of page numbers and the lack of “time remaining” for each chapter. 

 

    Some reviewers thought the story’s tone was too dark.  Well, it is, but wouldn’t one expect this when reading dystopian fiction?  Paradoxically, the fact that readers were bothered by that means the author did an effective job of world-building.

 

    I think the main aim of Brightside was to show the reader what a terrifying world it would be if a portion of the population were telepathic.  Both the normal humans and the thought-thieves live in constant fear of being exterminated by the other faction.  Mark Tullius does a great job of creating a frightening world and I am eager to see how the storyline progresses in a second book.

 

    7½ Stars.

Hope For the Best - Jodi Taylor

 

   2019; 461 pages.  Book 10 (out of 14) in the “Chronicles of St. Mary’s” series.  New Author? : No.  Genres: Time Travel; Humorous Fantasy; Historical Fiction.  Overall Rating: 9*/10.

 

    Madeleine “Max” Maxwell has been traded to the Time Police!

 

    Well okay, technically she’s been “seconded” to the Time Police, meaning St. Mary’s loaning Max to them for a while.  It’s sort of a goodwill gesture, aimed at improving the relationship between the two organizations.

 

    One of the weird things is that the Time Police office is based in the future, so Max gets to time-travel forward every time she goes to work.  How utterly kewl is that?!  But the bigger perk for Max is that she gets to be with her son, Matthew, who is being kept at the Time Police headquarters (“TPHQ”), protected by the Time Police from the evil bad guy, Clive Ronan.

 

    Looking after Matthew is not an easy job; see the second excerpt below.

 

What’s To Like...

    I enjoyed Max’s career move in Hope for the Best.  It seemed a nice way for Jodi Taylor to introduce the reader to her new “Time Police” series, the first book of which came out about five months after this one.

 

    It was interesting to watch Max and Captain Ellis learn to work as partners.  Their first adventure involves traveling to 16^th-century London to deal with a Temporal Anomaly.  The Time Police are there to “repair” the digression, even if that means using force.  St. Mary’s is there to record history.  Those differing motivations do not always mesh smoothly.

 

    Delightfully, there’s lots of time-jumping.  I counted ten chrono-hops, and that’s not including return jumps to St. Mary’s and/or TPHQ.  As usual, the book’s cover image gives a glimpse at two of those trips.  The smokestacks shown at the top are of the Battersea Power Station, as any fan of Pink Floyd’s “Animals” album will recognize.  We’ll let you wonder why the bottom image is simply a nest of eggs.

 

    It’s not a spoiler to reveal that two of my favorite characters in this series, Adrian and Mikey, play prominent roles in the storyline.  Grint the Grunt was also an interesting character, as were Hillary and Donald.  I chuckled at the mention of the sport of cheese-rolling on Cooper’s Hill, and liked learning why “Time is like a bluebell wood”.

 

    The ending is tense, twisty, and totally unexpected.  History is restored to its proper order, although not everybody at St. Mary’s, Max in particular, is happy about it.  The Time Police and St. Mary’s have a better understanding of each other, although I’d hardly call them bosom buddies.  Hope For the Best is both a part of a series and a standalone novel.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.7*/5, based on 5,408 ratings and 383 reviews.

    Goodreads: 4.32*/5, based on 7,706 ratings and 584 reviews.

 

Excerpts...

    I knelt up to see better.

    Ellis pulled me down.  “Stay down.”

    “I can’t.  It’s my job.  I’m the historian.  I study historical events.  You’re the Time Police.  Go and count your crayons.”

    Someone behind me wondered aloud why they let me live.

    “I’ve no idea,” said Ellis.  “Perhaps she’ll come in handy one day.”

    “And if not?”  Was it my imagination or was there a hopeful note there?

    “Then you can kill her.”  (pg. 126)

 

    “Will you come and see me off?”

    “Of course.  Every wife always wants to know when her husband’s safely out of the picture.”

    “And I gather you’re on the move, too.”

    “Yes.  Because of what’s happening at St. Mary’s, Dr. Bairstow’s moved the schedule forwards.  I’m going back to TPHQ.”

    “Give my love to Matthew.  How’s he doing?”

    “He broke the Time Map.”

    “The boy’s a vandal.  He gets more like his mother every day.”

    “And then showed them how to put it right.”

    “The boy’s a genius.  He gets more like his father every day.”  (pg. 278)

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Firkling (v.) : searching; rummaging.

Others: Jellabiyas (n.).

 

I was well and truly up the River of Excrement and my canoe had no visible means of propulsion.  (pg. 352)

    The profanity is pretty sparse in Hope for the Best; I noticed just 11 instances in the first 20% of the book; all of which of the “milder” ilk.  Max pays a visit to a sex club late in the story, but it’s a rather tame experience.  I didn’t note any typos; so kudos to whoever the editor was.

 

    The series is written in British, not American; so there are a few weird words and spellings for us Yankee readers, including draughty, ploughed, ageing, and storeys.  I’m used to hoovering by now, but the abovementioned firkling stumped me.  Jellabiya is an Arabic term.

 

    That’s the nit-pickiest I can be with Hope for the Best.  It’s another fine time-travel tale with lots of wit, humor, thrills-&-spills, family drama, and, maybe best of all, historical fiction blended in.  I've yet to see any drop-off in the quality of the books in this series.

 

    9 Stars.  One last thing.  At one point our heroes come riding in on what is described as “TWOC’d horses”.  Say what?  That acronym stumped me, so I googled it.  It turns out TWOC stands for “Taken Without Owner’s Consent”. Now you know.

Verses For the Dead - Douglas Preston & Lincoln Child

   2018; 328 pages.  Book 18 (out of 22) in the “Agent Pendergast” series.  New Author? : No, and No.  Genres : Police Procedural; Thriller; Serial Killers.   Overall Rating: 8½/10.

 

    It’s a brand new day for Special Agent Aloysius Pendergast of the FBI.  For starters, he’s got a new boss, Walter Pickett, who admires Pendergast’s “successful investigation rate” but hates his attitude towards heeding authorities and working with others.

 

    So it’s no surprise that Pendergast also finds he’s been assigned to a new area: Miami, Florida.  Say goodbye to the Big Apple, Aloysius.  Say hello to The Sunshine State.

 

    That means Pendergast gets to work with a new partner, a Native American named A.B. Coldmoon.  Don’t ask him what the “A.B.” stands for; those are white man’s appellations.

 

    Oh well, it could be worse.  Some psycho killer could start slashing the throats of Miamians, cutting out their hearts, and leaving them on other graves.

 

    And also leave excerpts from classical works of literature, aka “Verses for the Dead”.

 

What’s To Like...

    I enjoyed the setting change for Verses For the Dead, even if it did mean meeting a whole slew of new characters and remembering which ones were Miami PD and which ones were Miami FBI.  Agent Coldmoon is developed into a worthy assistant for the quirky Pendergast.  Instead of being cast as a bumbling rookie, he impresses Aloysius with his investigative technique and shrewd deductions.

 

    As always, the case rapidly becomes more complex.  There are clues aplenty, but how do they fit together?  Road trips are taken, and bodies are exhumed.  Is the killer right-handed or left-handed?  Are some of the deaths suicides?  Why does Agent Coldmoon have a “malodorous chemical refinery” (Pendergast’s description, not mine) smell about him?

 

  Verses For the Dead is both a Medical Thriller and a Police Procedural, both of which  are among my favorite literary genres.  It was a treat to also learn a few phrases in Latin, Spanish, and even in Coldmoon’s native Lakota tongue, including “Atanikili” and “Philamayaye”.  Thank goodness for Google.

 

    The ending is delightfully 50-pages long, well thought-out, and filled with twists, thrills and nail-biting fights.  In other words, it’s vintage Preston & Child.  It’s also quite complicated, and the last two of the fifty chapters involve Pendergast answering the questions a Miami Herald reporter had, and which had puzzled me as well.  Verses For the Dead is both a standalone novel and part of a series.

 

Ratings…
    Amazon: 4.6*/5, based on 10,948 ratings and 1,069 reviews.

    Goodreads: 4.22*/5, based on 18,296 ratings and 1,605 reviews.

 

Kewlest New Word ...

Empyrean (n.) : heaven; especially the highest part of heaven.

Others: Diener (n.); Iconoclast (n.); Persiflage (n.).

 

Excerpts...

    Something even louder than the music blasted one of her eardrums; she looked over to see a skinny, goateed guy in a post-punk outfit yelling at her.

    She turned to him. “What?”

    “I said, are you a parking ticket?” he yelled back.

    “Parking ticket?  What are you talking about?”

    “Because you’ve got fine written all over you!”  He laughed wildly, eyes wide.  (pg. 85)

 

    “Coffee, partner?”

    Another, longer pause.  Then Pendergast accepted the cup; took a small, tentative sip.  “The floral bouquet of poison sumac blooms first on the palate,” he announced.  “Followed by notes of diesel oil and a long finish of battery acid.”  And he handed the cup back.

    “Exactly the way I like it,” said Coldmoon, closing his eyes contentedly and downing the lukewarm beverage in a single gulp.  (pg. 251)

 

“Of all the would-be witnesses out last night, not one mentioned seeing a blood-spattered man carrying a hatchet and a human heart.”  (pg. 101)

    The profanity level in Verses For the Dead seemed lighter-than-usual for a Pendergast novel.  I counted just 13 instances in the first 20% of the book, four of which were f-bombs.  Maybe Miamians cuss less than New Yorkers.

 

    One reviewer was disappointed that there was no “is it natural or supernatural” aspect to the story, which is a much-loved Preston & Child trademark literary device.  He has a point, but at least they didn't awkwardly force it into the plotline.  Similarly, some of my favorite New York characters, such as Constance Greene, Vincent D’Agosta, and Proctor, only get a brief mention, but I have a feeling they’ll make a dramatic comeback in the upcoming books.

 

    Enough of the quibbling.  I’ve now read 15 books in this series, and have been hooked on it since Book One, Relic.  The mystery storylines are always unique, well crafted, twisty, and devoid of any slow spots.  The character development is always superb, especially Agent Pendergast.  The endings are always surprising and plot threads always get tied up.  Verses For the Dead is no exception.

 

    8½ Stars.  One last thing.  As with any Police Procedural, acronyms are commonplace.  Here OPR and ViCAP are encountered, but their full-length meanings are given.  Not so for TBI, which shows up twice, and which I couldn’t suss out on my own.  It stands for Traumatic Brain Injury.  Now you know.